10 Ways To Hide Your Kids, Your Wife, and Your Husband Due to The Fact That They Are Rapin’ Everybody Out Here

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*Props to Cheekie for the title…clap for her. Also, VSB does not in any way condone the thought or act of rape or violence towards women. This post is a direct reflection of the joke of Antoine Dodson and nothing more. Rape is serious. I know this. To that end, hide your kids and hide your wife. We’re all black, there are no husbands.*

I cannot let Antoine Dodson die. I cannot. Well not him per se, but “him” like his fame and infamy. His auto-tuned ridamndiculousness is my current ringtone. In fact, I called my mother yesterday and told her to hide her husband because according to Dr. Dodson, they are raping everybody out here.

But then I got to thinking. What if he was actually on to something? Not as a fluke but, like for real. What if they are in fact raping everybody out here and we do need to hide our kids, wives, husbands, and labradoodles. Who is they? I have no clue. But they scare me. They are probably the same people who defined “is.” Actually, you know who they are. They are the same people that do everything. They gets blamed for every thing.

Mother: What’s the weather tomorrow?

Pintsized Treyball Panama: They said it’s gonna be ‘hot, mama.

Mother: Who is they?

PTP: I don’t know. But where dey do dat at…it’s hot.

I’m so hood. But all I do is win, win, win no matter what.

But mostly they did that.

Anyway, while the rest of the world is laughing at and with Mr. Dodson, I decided that perhaps I should take him more seriously and provide you some ways for you to indeed hide your kids, your wife, and your husband due to the fact that they are raping everybody out here. Here, by the way, is a fluid concept. Kind of like your freedom, Mississippi.

1. In a closet

I lost 3 cousins to hide and go seek because they went into the closet and never came out. THEN I see the damn Chronicles of Narnia and in the background is little Mook Mook, Jaybroski, and Dave hanging with some big lion arse ninja named Aslan. I’m like, yo son, get back here with my dough, ya dig? Point is, closets are good places to hide people…just make sure that when they come out the closet, its not a double entendre. Unless of course they went in that way, which of course there’s nothing wrong with that.

The more you know.

*ding*

2. In a book

You want to keep something from a ninja, put it in a book. I’m pretty sure that’s the oldest trick in the book. And despite the fact that EVERY Black person knows this, we still don’t rob books. It just proves one thing, education is ninja repellent. Never mind that you can’t actually put anybody in a book. How will you know unless you try? Have you tried to put a ninja in a book today? Probably not.

3. In college

The natural cousin to a book. If you send your kids, wife, or husband to college not only will they not get raped in the hood they’ll get books that they can get into. It’s a win win, like 2 daytons on a Schwinn beeyotch.

4. Twitter

Oh wait, apparently we’re there in droves doing ninja stuff. I also think you can get raped there.

5. At a Waka Flocka Flame concert

Does anybody else find it humorous that his ENTIRE collection of words for the song “Hard In The Paint” sounds JUST like the fake verse on “ShawtBus Shawty”? He actually says, “flocka” thru the ENTIRE song. You can hide your family here but don’t leave them unattended. Actually, if you take your kids to a Waka show, well I feel sorry for your mother and may God have mercy on your soul.

GUCCI DAT’S MY GUCCI DAT’S MY ….

6. In a flower shop

The dude that climbed thru Dodson’s sisters window is not going to a flowershop. How do I know this? I don’t. But do you know that he will? Nope. You don’t either. See.

7. On tour with U2

See the assumption is that the dude that’s out there raping everybody in Lincoln Park (Huntsville stand up!) is a ninja. Have you been to a U2 show? Or Ireland for that matter? Not too many ninjas. Sending your family on tour with them will almost certainly keep them away from the dude rapin’ everybody in Lincoln Park.

8. At the White House

Do you know what you have to do get in there? No? Me neither. CUZ AIN’T NONE OF US GETTING IN THERE RIGHT NOW. Well, except Lebron and ‘nem. But they’re ball players.  Pshaw!

9. Fight Club

First rule of fight club is that nobody talks about fight club.

10. Inside My Love

Me and Minnie (no Mouse) got this.

Where would you hide your kids, your wife, or your husband due to the fact that they’re rapin’ everybody out here?

-VSB P aka KING JACKSON aka GO KING BEEF! GO KING BEEF! aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka VITAMIN P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL. HE A 3

338 thoughts on “10 Ways To Hide Your Kids, Your Wife, and Your Husband Due to The Fact That They Are Rapin’ Everybody Out Here”

  2. “We’re all black, there are no husbands.”

    *DEAD* I ain’t even get to the post you done kilt me with the last line of the disclaimer… horrible LOL.

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  3. In the produce aisle at the grocery store. Every time I’m at the register and look in the baskets/carts of the people around me, I realize I’m the only one buying fresh produce. So, that’s where I’d hide myself and all my peoples.

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  4. This whole post is sheer silliness. :-D Oh, and the best thing about “Hard in the Paint” is the beat. That isht knocks. I think I read somewhere that ol’boy also did the production on Rawse’s BMF. Kudos Cheekie on the title.

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  5. I’m hiding my kids and my husband in a Money Market Account cause we all know these ninjas don’t give shiz-nite about interest.

    Yeah, T-Pain got money in the bank, but he never said it was a savings account…

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  7. Big Country King Album Release Party

    New Jersey Nets Baseball Game

    Theater Showing A Black Film without The Tagline: Tyler Perry Presents

    Lisa Lampinelli’s Hotel Room: I am convinced she does not get any wang.

    Legion Field During a UAB game.

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      • I just can’t imagine the desperation and intoxication it takes for a man to tap that resource. I love trashy VH1 dating shows during their first season, but would be ill watching a show where brothas vie for the heart of Lisa.

        *The ratings for that show would be bananas.

        *Goes to prepare pitch for VH1

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        • A Lisa Lampanelli reality show…yeah, I would watch. And I totally agree…I just don’t see her baggin’ many men after her shows and taking them back to her hotel room. When she talks about her exploits, I feel like she’s a rapper. We know it’s fake, but we just go along with it anyway.

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    • ROTFLMAO @ Legion Field during a UAB game! And you are so right…I never went to a UAB game during grad school. Partially because I was in another spot we can hide folks…the library!

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  8. You a fool for this one, P. I hear “Hard In the Paint” on Sirius Radio all the time but when I hear it on the regular radio, the edited version sounds weird, hence why #5 is hilarious to me. Props for the “Inside Your Love” reference. Minnie Riperton is the sh!t and the fact that that song is in Grand Theft Auto IV lets me know that the guys at Rockstar Games do good music research for the radio stations in their games.

    What’s really funny is that you actually said something nice about Cheeks and gave her props on the post and yet she wasn’t first. Wonder where she is. Hmmmm…

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    • “What’s really funny is that you actually said something nice about Cheeks and gave her props on the post and yet she wasn’t first. Wonder where she is. Hmmmm…”

      1234 Panamania Lane
      Where dey be at, USA

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    • I’m dying at CBG’s and Miss Patterson’s “findings”…LOL.

      *clears throat..cough cough* Cheeeekooolllaaaa…Cheeeekooolllaaaa….. Okay let me cut it out.

      But umm yeah, it was nice of you Panamaw to finally give Cheekie her props. We all know you love that chick. We’ve just gotta work on Cheekie to confess the same. 3′s need love too. LoL

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      • *DIES* @ “Cheeeekoooolaaaa”

        And Miss Patterson shouting out Panama’s addy? LOL

        I’m done wif ya’ll.

        As to where I was? I’ll never tellllll, Michael Douglas.

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      • What, huh? You just came out of nowhere. Being around you is like being in a episode of OZ. Gotta watch my special area. lol How are you, ma’am?

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          • Exhausted. Just when my travel is starting to pick up, they tell me not to plan anymore trips after this month until further notice. Boy, I tell ya. I could rant about that but I’m low man on the totem pole so just give me my check and leave me the eff alone after business hours.

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  10. I’m hiding mine at the doctors Office! Black ppl scared of the doctor when that’s the main place we need to be…getting checked up and ish…

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    • ….and the dentist.

      Some ninjas steady throwin’ some of everything up in their pie holes… always eatin’ but will give you “the Scooby” : Errr? if you ask when’s the last time they’ve actually flossed. Throwin’ all kinds of “exoticas” in the mouthpiece, but ready to cut a batch while undergoing a routine cleaning. So you know a mofo can just hang that ish up if any dental work has been recommended. Yuck mouth.

      Yeah, throwing the fam in the waiting area of your local dentist office is a start, although persuading them to take a chair in the back will more than likely ensure their safety.

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    • LOL, yup…I STAY at my allergist on the regular because I’m classy like that, but the regulah doctor? Um…I’m actually looking for a new one since I gots good insurance. Got a couple recs from my allergist but I keep procrastinating like a mug. I don’t like negative doctors in general, so I’m trying to find a good fit for me.

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  11. OHHHH! I LOVE THAT SONG! I shamefully bought it on iTunes and now I can’t stop singing it. He’s completely obnoxious yet lovable. This was ABSOLUTELY hilarious! I love the part about college, except some kind of way people are getting in without being able to write essays. O.o However they usually get kicked out the same year they come in.

    GO ANTOINEEE

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      • I got much love for Alabama. I am a Tide fan and I lived in Mobile right out of college. Oddly enough, I loved living out there. My folks are from the country so Bama was actually comfortable for me. I do consider Mobile my second home and I actually miss living there. Houston traffic will do that to you.

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          • I really am sometimes. I grew up camping and fishing with my dad and uncles and my mom grew up on a farm, so I am used to being out in the country just chillin with my people. It feels good to be old enough to sit outside and crack open a beer with my old man. I always told my mom as a kid that I would retire and live on my granddaddy’s farm land one day. Still keeping that in mind.

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          • Saban got dem boys working over in Tuscaloosa. They are going to be causing problems in the SEC for years to come. After getting Julio Jones, he is probably going to get every top recruit out of Alabama as long as he is coaching there.

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            • He will also continue the Alabama tradition of getting the best players out of Mississippi, which is per captia the nation’s most talented football state. He still has good connections in Florida and Louisiana, and has made headway into Texas. In a couple of years Alabama will take Texas A&M’s spot as the team prospects chosen by prospects if they do not go to OU or Texas.

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            • Bama’s my main team but something isn’t right about Saban. He just seems to be the type of person who doesn’t know how to relax. I’m also starting to dislike him more after discovering something called a “Paul Finebaum” his radio show is on the air here in Charleston now and the man is a sycophant. If the “People of WalMart” website was a radio show that talked about college football it would be his.

              I do love the fact that the Tide is back.

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              • I love Finebaum. The show has lost some of its great callers since going nationwide, but it still brings the comedy. I will always have a soft-spot for Finebaum because of his hatred for the snitch Philip Fulmer. Paul often gets great interviews as well.

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              • I love Finebaum. The show has lost some of its great callers since going nationwide, but it still brings the comedy. I will always have a soft-spot for Finebaum because of his hatred for the snitch Philip Fulmer. Paul often gets great interviews as well.

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              • How in the hell did I miss a discussion on my alma mater on VSB?!?

                Actually I have nothing to contribute except Roll effn Tide!

                Run and tell that…[Tim James Pause]…homeboy!

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              • OK I HAD TO COME OUT. How the h3ll can you all choose Bama over Auburn? War Eagle!! Well you all were losing the iron bowl for a hot minute so i will let you all have this.

                **Going back to my homemade mac and cheese, potato salad and fried chicken with some sweet tea to wash it down** Oh and if ya’ll even thing boiled peanuts are nasty shots will be fired.

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      • i can do you one better. i used to live in huntsville and when i first saw the story, do you know what my initial reaction was?

        “i didn’t realize there were 2-story townhomes in lincoln park. i thought it was all just flats like northwood homes.”

        straight up. i called my boy back and was like, how many 2 story joints they got over there. lol.

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  13. im pretty much dead.
    i watched the actual news clip 1st.
    then saw this remix.
    yep. death had been confirmed.
    i’d say i love u for this..but cheekie would come find me.

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    • “i’d say i love u for this..but cheekie would come find me.”

      LOL, Panama loves love. Gon’ ‘head express it. Just no funny bih-ness. o_O

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  15. I, too, am LUVIN the phenomenon that is Antione Dodson!!! LOL

    I shall hide my RibDonor (no milk duds, yet) in a retirement account. Ya know a 401(K) or IRA. (((or maybe ya don’t know cuz ya’s a ninja…?)))

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    • Wow. Some sociology professor somewhere has had to come up with some sort of advanced metric that measure the length and intensity of one’s 15 mins of shine. Antoine must be blowing everybody out the water. When has an attempted rap ever been so hilarious?!

      I wonder how many Antoine’s will we see on Halloween? Other than me that is?

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  17. It’s f*cked up that that’s all it takes to make a song these days. I first heard about this from Tariq Nasheed, I just got around to watching it yesterday. I try to stay away from sht like this… it’s too foolish. 5-10 years ago I’d be ROFLn.

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  18. Floooooooooooooooocka! *Shakes imaginary dreads*

    You’ve awakened a monster. Since I have no idea wth this post is about, tonight I’ll be littering VSB with random assorted spurts of buffoonery.

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  19. Loved it…lmao! Did you consider hiding them at a Tea Party convention or at Limbaugh’s new house…..those too places are safer than the underground railroad for black folks in jeopardy of becoming victims of the brutality Antoine warns us of!!!

    Sweet Baby Jesus…it pains me that I even know his name :o

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  21. Live Recording of the O’Reilly Factor
    “. ” Glenn Beck Show

    Vegetable Aisle at Super Fresh (or whatever your local market is)

    Country Club

    Boats because ninjas don’t/can’t swim

    Between Whoopi Goldbergs legs, cause NO ninjas trying to get there

    Rick Ross’s beard

    North Dakota and South Dakota

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  22. King Beef, this was he!!a funny. I enjoyed this and love it like cooked food. Comedic jewels all around. Chronicles of Narnya is my joint and there are very gully Irish folks. Plus, Ireland elected a black mayor*, so run and tell that, homeboy! (sorry, couldn’t resist ;) )

    Yes, I love the Antoine Dobson song, but even more than that I love that he has love for his sister, he came to her aid, and he and his sister spoke out about the attack. They took their power and were rightfully angry and sent a message that was not only a warning (that an attacker is out there) but also a proclamation that ‘we are fighting back’. He (Antoine) was at home looking like you might look at home. He was angry and he and his sistah said their piece. I also love the second interview with the crispy white head wrap and baby on the hip. Like he said, ” my family just dust they shoulders off” and keep on steppin’. I ain’t mad. I also wasn’t ashamed (not saying anyone here was) because in the second interview the news reporter shared that some of their viewers complained, finding their comments and them offensive. She (the news reporter) rightfully spoke up and said they are victims and have a right to speak. The sanctity of their home was breached and his sistah thankfully, but narrowly, avoided a rape with her child in the room. What the cameras are not showing is whatever trauma they may experience after the attack and not feeling safe in their home. For the population that felt offended, really? Are your serious? They were not making planned statements on a red carpet and they were rightfully angry with every right to say how they felt.

    That said, the song was genius and catchy as he!!! You can’t tell me that song don’t slap! :D It was edited well too.

    Antoine ain’t neva’ lied. Fleece Johnson is exhibit A that you gotta hide the husbands too. “He like ya, and he want ya.” <–That right thurr is only funny if you are free and safe and Fleece is no where near you.

    Where would you hide your kids, your wife, or your husband due to the fact that they’re rapin’ everybody out here?

    You can hide your people at the hospital and the dentist. Unfortunately, everyone doesn’t have insurance, some can’t afford the co-pay, some fear going to the doctor, some can’t take off work to do so, and folks unfortunately miss those check-ups.

    *http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6251094.stm

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    • I agree with legitimate_soul. I admire Antoine and his sister and hope that the police are seriously looking for that fool who climbed through their window. :(

      I still laughed tho.

      —

      On to the post.

      I’d hide my family at a Justin Beiber concert. I don’t even think Usher goes to his concerts.

      I’m mad that you had one cousin named Dave. (naw..I’m laughin’)

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    • I guess I should have read all the way through before adding my commentary on ninjas vs the dentist. Should have known you’d have that covered.

      And I always chuckle at the line: “I likes ya and I wants ya” hehehe… I doubt that one will ever get old.

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      • I guess I should have read all the way through before adding my commentary on ninjas vs the dentist. Should have known you’d have that covered.

        And I… duh well

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        • @ Ms Butta & Yeah…So,

          As C-Notes told me when I do/did the same thing, great minds think alike :D

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      • I’m reserving “I likes ya and I wants ya” for my future significant other, LMAO! As we listed things that makes one a “keeper” I neglected casually omitted to include my ignent ignorant comedic side and someone who can be just as ignent with me.

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    • @legitimate_soul,

      I totally agree with you and don’t see why anyone would be offended or ashamed by Dodson’s reaction. It’s what came natural to him.

      I think the problem is black folks always are concerned about how the actions/words of one affects us as a group. Although there are people who want to feed their stereotypical ideas of us, we shouldn’t invest too much stock in that because their minds aren’t going to change and it’s not up to us to try to change them. Stop being so concerned about what others think of us. The truth remains that everyday people are not well versed when a camera is thrown in their face after a tragic incident has just occurred. If you’re offended or ashamed, you should get the f*ck over yourself.

      *Had to add a “f*ck” so the ignant n*ggas hear me*

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      • @Monk
        I disagree.
        It is our responsibility to change the perceptions the world has of us. Our stock investment should be in bettering ourselves individually and collectively so that the general negative perceptions are eradicated. Resultingly, all the Antoine Dodsons out there will be viewed by the world as the exception and not the rule.
        The problem is, there are not enough well versed everyday black people profiled or highlighted in the media to offset or balance the perceptions.
        It’s not Antoine’s fault of course, but until we as a people have made leaps and bounds to affect these perceptions, we can’t sit back and remain unconcerned about what others think. Those ‘others’ are the ones in positions of power. and are usually sitting across from you while you’re making a case to be hired in their establishment, or making a case for your life in court. Perceptions trump reality.

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        • “we can’t sit back and remain unconcerned about what others think. Those ‘others’ are the ones in positions of power. and are usually sitting across from you while you’re making a case to be hired in their establishment, or making a case for your life in court.”
          I understand you point, but that part really ruffles my feathers. To me, the response to that would be increasing our power and/or using the power we already have effectively. I think we should spend more effort in that area, and less effort on changing how others perceive us.
          It’s the same way I feel when I hear Black people saying don’t name your children something “ghetto” or “ethnic” so they can get a good job. Well how about raising your child to create jobs instead of just getting one?

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          • @K-Steez
            It should ruffle yours and everyones feathers, because unfortunately thats the reality of the world we live in.

            However, I stand firm in my position and will reiterate the following:

            “…until we as a people have made leaps and bounds to affect these perceptions, we can’t sit back and remain unconcerned about what others think”.

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            • That’s cool, I’m a big fan of reality myself. And it wasn’t my point to make you abandon yours, so standing firm is cool too : )

              I agree that ” we can’t sit back and remain unconcerned about what others think”, I just disagree on what our course of action should be. I’m not about bettering myself to eradicate negative perceptions, I’m about bettering myself to uh…be better. So the lives of my future children will be better.

              If I can achieve that, and some idiot still confuses me for Antoine Dodson, I’m not going to lose any sleep over it.

              Having conversations about what we should do as a people to be more accepted by society is speaking from a position of powerlessness.

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              • @K-Steez
                But where in my post did I suggest that our motivation behind bettering ourselves should be to eradicate perceptions? I never said that nor even implied it, so I’m curious where that inference came from.

                What I did say was that it is our responsibility to change those perceptions, but that is not to be misconstrued with motivation for self improvement. Our first responsibility is to ourselves, but I presumed this was evidenced in the undertone of my entire position.
                Regardless, my point was/is that destroying/changing these perceptions will be the end result of the suggested action of self & collective enhancement and proven ability. Perhaps I did a poor job of expressing myself previously?

                You say, “If I can achieve that, and some idiot still confuses me for Antoine Dodson, I’m not going to lose any sleep over it. “

                Well, unfortunately for you and me, that ‘some idiot’ is our judicial system, our government, and our corporate america. You’re at risk of losing a lot more than sleep my friend.

                Clearly you underestimate the power of perception since you continue to approach this from a very micro level position.

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              • @SoBo- I couldn’t hit reply on your last post, hopefully you see this.

                “But where in my post did I suggest that our motivation behind bettering ourselves should be to eradicate perceptions?”

                You didn’t suggest it, you said it almost verbatim. Check your sentence #3. I’ll paste it for you since you forgot. ” Our stock investment should be in bettering ourselves individually and collectively so that the general negative perceptions are eradicated. ” Forgive me if I didn’t see the undertone that would have told me you didn’t mean it.

                ” Well, unfortunately for you and me, that ‘some idiot’ is our judicial system, our government, and our corporate america. You’re at risk of losing a lot more than sleep my friend.

                Clearly you underestimate the power of perception since you continue to approach this from a very micro level position.”

                Hmmm…I don’t think I underestimate it. I just think- scratch that- I know that institutionalized racism isn’t the result of the Antoine Dodsons of the world. I also know that our collective energies would reap greater rewards if we focused on building our own institutions, rather than on concinving others of our humanity/intellect/etc. Changing perceptions only address the symptom of a much deeper problem. Sterotypes are just the symptom. The real illness is still being dependent on same people that have systematically oppressed us for centuries.

                No shots fired…just real talk. Peace

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              • @k-steez
                Yes, I said that verbatim. However, in order for your interpretation to have validity, you would have to ignore all those pesky little sentences that came before and after the one you pointed out. And ignore is exactly what you did,….which means you have successfully executed the perfect context removal. Congratulations. Perhaps a career in tabloid journalism is in your future.

                “I also know that our collective energies would reap greater rewards if we focused on building our own institutions, rather than on concinving others of our humanity/intellect/etc”

                In your eagerness to be disagreable, you are failing to see that you are actually echoing my position while simultaneously misunderstanding me at the same time. Fascinating.

                It’s like arguing with a mirror. You’re saying the same thing I’m saying, except reverse. We only differ on the importance of perception.
                The flaw in your argument is that it doesn’t acknowledge the fact that we currently we reside in the backyard of our oppressors, living and working in their created institutionalized and systematically oppressive society.

                So until we all pack up and move to Mars and start Negro civilization, we need to understand and respect the significance of perception and how we give credence to many of the stereotypes that exsits and the negative impacts of that in a world we DO NOT CONTROL. So until that day comes when the majority of us are not killing time in the wh*te man’s jail, living in the wh*te man’s projects, but instead are all self employed, educated in our own school systems, living in our own gated affluent self sustaining suburban communities, until this glorious day you speak of comes when we are emancipated from the oppressive system, we need to focus on getting our sh*t together and remove some of these perception induced obstacles while we are still working on master’s plantation in the meantime. Thats all I’ve been I’m saying. Speaking of which, let me get back to doing just that, and likewise you homie.

                Boom bye bye.

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              • *puts down bucket of popcorn w/ extra butter*

                Hi. I’m sorry to interject. I feel the need to mediate since I can see your conversation in plain sight. I think you both have valid points. Being a corporate slave myself who lives in whiteville. I think Sobo is right in the fact that we do need to be “aware” of ourselves and go the extra mile to prove ourselves aka black tax. It makes me frustrated just like the next man but it is our reality as this system was set up against us. How whites view us does affect us and has affected us. It didn’t start because of us but rather their own fears but it still exists. At the same time, there will always be Antoine Dodsons. I’m not going to assume he is not intelligent just because of the way he looks/sounds..he is simply a product of his environment. Unfortunately this is what makes the television and many ignorant whites will lump blacks in this category..but not all. Believe me most are smart enough to know the difference.
                I also agree with K-steez that we cannot be consumed by this subliminal oppression and still fight for our own advancements for ourselves and our children. It’s not all about proving ourselves but paving our own way. It’s not one or the other. There’s a middle line and you both have valid points.

                *picks up popcorn bucket and fades into the white mist*

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              • dude…your so funny. I definitely disagreed, but I definitely wasn’t eager to be disagreeable, lol!

                the whole arguing with a mirror thing is funny too, ’cause i was thinking the same about you. I understand you perfectly, I just disagree.

                If the only “flaw in your (my) argument is that it doesn’t acknowledge the fact that we currently we reside in the backyard of our oppressors, ” then I guess my argument is flawless! B/c if you’d scroll up you’ll see that I addressed that a few times. Our current situation is the problem, we just disagree on the priority of solutions.

                It’s unfortunate that me speaking of building our own institutions illicits responses like these: “So until we all pack up and move to Mars and start Negro civilization” and ” until this glorious day you speak of comes when we are emancipated from the oppressive system” as if it’s some type of futuristic fairy tale. That’s the position of powerlessness I mentioned earlier. I think we can make better use of our money/intellect/other means of power today, in the present.

                You seem to be saying, we’re stuck here. And since we’re stuck, we’d best enunciate clearly/avoid watermelon and do-rags/name our children Hunter and Finigan/hide Antoine Dodson, lest they think poorly of us.

                Let me be the first to tell you, “that glorious day” will never come if we keep wasting our time in society’s popularity contests.

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              • Sorry, SFG- just saw your comment. I agree though. I wasn’t saying it needed to be one or the other- I just think that the building should be the priority. I think a lot of times we (especially the relatively educated of us) focus too much on the assimilation/perceptions part and not enough on self-sufficiency. I wasn’t trying to get into an e-argument, lol! Just sharing my opinion…but my ego gets the best of me sometimes, so the convo went left. Anyhoo, all’s well in VSB-land : )

                Reply ↓

              • THIS:
                ” I think a lot of times we (especially the relatively educated of us) focus too much on the assimilation/perceptions part and not enough on self-sufficiency”
                is gospel. Cosign!
                No need to apologize. I love a healthy debate, it’s why most of us are here on VSB in the first place.

                Reply ↓

              • @K-Steeze
                Actually, we don’t disagree on much of anything. Believe it or not, my priorities are directly in line with yours. I am a strong proponent for everything you have said throughout this discussion. However, I just have the understanding that the world of which you speak is not our world now. It will take some time individually and collectively before that world is ever a reality.

                The reality iS that presently, we cannot just unplug ourselves from this system. It will take generations for us to be able to accomplish that as a people. So for now, yes, your Zion is a fairy tale. And considering that things are not getting progressively better, it will remain a fairy tale until we understand that our complacency and ignorance limits us within our own circles and subculture, as well as society at large.

                Am I advocating stagnancy, acceptance, and white man idolotry? Of course not. And anyone reading my responses wouldn’t draw that conclusion, so refrain from putting words on my fingertips.

                What I am advocating is knowledge of self, the world around us, as well as the role we play in it. I am advocating progress and tactful navigation within a system where existing perceptions limits our opportunities, growth and successes.

                The fact that you compose your responses intelligently suggests that you have made an effort to learn the white man’s language pretty darn well to me. As well as navigated yourself within His system to attain whatever levels of successes you have today. You don’t sound like an Antoine Dodson to me. Which means you DO understand the importance of perception to your survival and success in this White man’s world. So tell me, what popularity contest were you trying to win?

                To conclude, I’m with you on the front lines, believe that. I champion chartering our brave new world and building our own institutions. Hell, I’ll even hand you the bricks.

                Reply ↓

      • If you’re offended or ashamed, you should get the f*ck over yourself.

        Can I get that on a t-shirt? Or is it too long?

        And thanks for referencing one of my favorite L. Boogie’s quote. Love that girl something fierce. :)

        Reply ↓

    • “Yes, I love the Antoine Dobson song, but even more than that I love that he has love for his sister, he came to her aid, and he and his sister spoke out about the attack.”

      YES. You know, you make it sound so sweet, I think I’mma pitch this story to Lifetime. Antoine, come holla at me.

      Reply ↓

      • When they do it…have him dressed in all white like Lisa Raye. Let it match his white head wrap. Flossy!

        Reply ↓

    • Agreed.

      I haven’t watched the video (might be the only one in America) because I am not sure why people are actually laughing at or for…

      Reply ↓

  23. I LOVE U2…though this ninja has never been to a concert :-( . Still haven’t found what I’m looking for indeed.

    And talking about hiding in closets…..I remember this story from a few years ago:
    http://www.digtriad.com/news/most_popular/article.aspx?storyid=116437&provider=top.

    Dude lived in a family’s attic for a week….he got up there through the closet. They shoulda hid their food, hid their laundry and hid their Xmas presents, ’cause he was taking errything.

    and I found this story too while looking for the above one….woman lived in a man’s closet FOR A YEAR:

    http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/la/news/japanese-woman-found-living-in-closet-052178

    Reply ↓

  24. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! *wipes tear* I can’t with y’all today. Prolly hide them at the beach…..you know how ninjas hate that hot sun and water.

    Reply ↓

  25. #1 – Good place to hide people. Just don’t get trapped in the closet…the closet….the closet
    #1a – allegedly, R. Kelly has 25 more chapters of TITC. Yes, I will watch that trash when it comes out

    #3 – During freshman orientation, the deans told us there had been a guy going to school FULL TIME for eight years. To get a bachelor’s degree. He hadn’t graduated when I had.

    #8 – I’m watching the Real Housewives of DC this season, just to find out how those folks crashed the White House. And how you can spend 10 hours in a beauty salon and still look like the cryptkeeper

    #10 – I’m gonna have that damn Drake song stuck in my head all day.

    Reply ↓

  26. Hide em’ in :
    Bensonhurst, Arizona*, Sarah Palin’s house, Alaska, Maine, Vermont**, at Dollywood, in Rush Limbaugh’s will, Steve Buscemi’s teeth, a Tea Party protest, at a Toby Keith concert, at a Clay Aiken concert, at a tanning salon, at the end of the credits for a horror film (cause ninjas don’t make it to the credits), in an intelligent informative news show on BET (not gonna do it), in public school U.S. History books (cause we ain’t there ‘neither), in Dr. Dre’s Detox album (even Dre can’t find that ‘ish), on an episode of Friends (ninjas ain’t there), on an episode of Seinfield (nope not there either), at Michael Richard’s guest house (definitely not there), in Dick Cheney’s heart (’cause it’s cold in the D!(ick C.), in O.J. Simpsons’ hopes and dreams, at Camp David…

    Okay, some of these cracked me up when I typed them!

    Disclaimers:
    * I actually know cool folks in Arizona. Just funnin’.
    ** I hear Vermont is cool and beautiful

    Reply ↓

  28. Lol at this post
    I don’t know who “they” is either. But my momma learned me at an early age that listening
    To. What “they said”. Would get my arse beat..
    I would also like to add that apparently the best place to keep husbands is away from c list actors and r&b sangers
    And old refrigerators lol

    Reply ↓

    • “away from c list actors and r&b sangers
      And old refrigerators”

      Ok, aside from Alicia Keys and Fantasia, this sounds like there’s a story I haven’t heard yet…refrigerators?

      Reply ↓

      • “ok, aside from Alicia Keys and Fantasia, this sounds like there’s a story I haven’t heard yet…refrigerators?”

        Yes do tell! And umm… Fantasia too!? What in the hell!?

        Reply ↓

  30. ” while the rest of the world is laughing at and with Mr. Dodson…”

    I’m pretty sure they’re just laughing AT him…

    I loveeeee narnia though

    Reply ↓

  31. LOL!

    You trippin’ cuzzo…but that auto-tunes A.Dodson is like the new reh dog. The new Eli Porter.

    Instantaneous comic relief. Yo, those, 2520′s who did the ‘remix’ are selling those jawns for 1.29 on itunes! I am curious to know how many sales they’ve received….

    Bond.

    Reply ↓

  32. Ok I love the video!!! Today I was inspired to do a classical cover of the song on my violin. But I spent the day at a Doug E. Fresh concert in Harlem (not a good place to hide anyone)

    Places to hide:
    Philharmonic concerts
    Chess Matches
    An episode of Platinum Weddings
    Church (anyone with the courage to snatch yo ppl up in church is going straight to hell)
    Oh and the museum!!! ANY MUSEUM!!!!

    Reply ↓

  33. lol! good idea Cheekie! :-)
    but Im all good… (reading Zombie Survival Guide in closet w/machete )

    also…that video was freakin awesome…especially the solo at the end. “Run And Tell That Homeboy” =P

    Reply ↓

  34. Panama. What the f*ck ARE you talking about!!!!?

    The reason I love reading your posts is because from the first word, I literally don’t know where the f*ck I’m going until we arrive.

    And something about that is tit-talating.

    Its like I’m following someone on a really fast scooter and I don’t know what the f*ck.

    Panama > my need to always understand wtf is going on.

    WHERE IS DR. HAYDEN DRAKE!!!!????

    Reply ↓

  35. I’m hating that this song is REALLY on iTunes.

    I’m hating that Antione Dodson has a wikipedia page, and I don’t.

    I’m hating that he has an official site.

    Do you see how many facebook fans he has?

    And– “he does hair!” (dead)

    What in the hell is going on?

    Reply ↓

  36. This is gold, ninja. Pure gold. *Ringtone’d* Also, hide your family your wife, kids, and husband in the ocean or in the mountains. Ninjas don’t do large bodies of water or any form of nature that might eat them. Or that might at least bite them back unless its your homeboy’s pitbull (not even then really).

    Reply ↓

  37. Pj you are a 3 and a fool for this. I have read 3times and am still laughing, the only reprieve i have from my a crying 3wk old.
    Am hiding my hubby and kids in hockey stadiums ninjas dont do ice hockey

    Reply ↓

  38. Am still pissed that some1 did a feature on ninjas on twitter, Wtf its like russia doing one on sistahs being single. Its like we are a specimen of some sort wth.
    This was ridiculously funny. Am hiding mine in camping sites ninjas hate camping.

    Reply ↓

  39. I know where not to hide them:-Any where near Mel Gibson’s baby mama. He told that a pack of n*****s was coming for her. Mel and Antoine- prophets.

    You can hide them in:
    1.Minimum Security Federal prison a/k/a Club Fed. We’re not big on insider trading.

    2. Comcast service tech training. “They” are never where they should be so you can’t rape what you can’t see.

    3. The United States Senate.

    4. Hockey Games.

    Reply ↓

    • I have been looking for a pack of n*ggers to join since that phone message came out. Living in a herd of n*ggas immediately lost its appeal. I have come up empty in my search for a new pack, but I refuse to give up hope.

      Reply ↓

    • Being from the West Coast, I am partial to a GRIP of ninjas and He!!a ninjas. Yet, I must concur that a Pride of ninjas sounds more executive.

      Reply ↓

      • @legit_soul

        I have worked with a GRIP of n*****s before and had positive results. PRIDEs are much more executive. Due to the nature of M.E.’s business we normally maintain our TROOP status. We only become a PRIDE when we have to appear before Senate Sub Committees and ****.

        Reply ↓

        • @ Wu,
          I loved this entire exchange. The quantities of ninjas are abundant. It’s like that episode of Family Guy when Peter was an assistant of (alleged) Jackee’ Harry and she was asking for a pallet of chocolate covered pretzels, a drum of grape jam, and a desk of cheese doodles…..

          Reply ↓

    • This has been one of the MOST entertaining exchanges I’ve read on VSB to date. I love it!

      @ LS…”Being from the West Coast, I am partial to a GRIP of ninjas and He!!a ninjas. ” <– co-signin

      Reply ↓

  40. The Brown Twitter Bird aka the @Tweegro and all of his cousins would approve of this post.

    As far as places to hide?

    In a Friends episode.

    At Pinkberry.

    On Blackplanet, like a hidden-in-plain-sight kinda deal…

    Reply ↓

  41. Wacka Flocka Flame makes me want to get my tubes tied. I am positive Jim Henson and the creators of the Muppet Show and Fozzie Bear never imagined some kid would grow up and act like that. (sigh) I would much rather he go away and Antoine Dodson take over the role as unintelligible rapper. Dodson has just as many hits as Wacka Flocka Flame…it could happen.

    Reply ↓

  42. This blog is just too much. I love it. I can’t get down with “Hard in the Paint” though, I love music too much, and that ain’t it.

    I would add any place with a lot of water. I’ll have to think about more.

    Reply ↓

  43. ‘They’ was some white dude in Flint, MI, who took his spree to VA. He wasn’t raping, he was stabbing Black men. He has since been caught in Georgia.

    Reply ↓

  44. Hide ‘em here!

    1. At fine dining restaurants (Dead Lobster, Cheesecake Factory, Golden Corral, and other places of this kind do not count as fine dining)

    2. A bank’s lobby (‘they’ ain’t giving anybody a loan, even if your credit is more than 999)

    Reply ↓

  46. Hide your kids, hide ya wife, hide ya kids, hide ya wife (and your husband cause they rapin’ errebody out there)…

    …on the set of the Bachelor/Bachelorette
    …on the set of the OchoCinco reality show
    …at a Dave Matthews Band concert
    …at a corporate board meeting
    …at the Republican National Convention

    Side note: Having watched the original news clip, followed by the Autotune version as included in the post above, I’m inferring that young white dudes with autotune and a little creativity may be the next big thing in rap production…jus sayin…’cause this ish is catchy as hell, I listened to it 5 times consecutively the first time I heard it.

    Reply ↓

  47. You could hide your peoples at EarthFare. Ninjas will NEVER look for them there. Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT hide them behind a Check Cashing joint though. Your people are as good as found and raped there…homeboy. They in every hood!

    Reply ↓

  48. Where would you hide your kids, your wife, or your husband due to the fact that they’re rapin’ everybody out here?

    1. Job opportunities in Detroit
    2. The Black Tea Party Convention
    3. Waka Flocka’s and Soulja Boy’s complex lyrics
    4. Music videos on MTV
    5. FM underground Hip-Hop station
    6. A dentist office in Appalachia or England
    7. Chinese safety regulations in the workplace
    8. Myspace
    9. The Conservative Melting Pot Convention
    10. Flyover country relevance

    Reply ↓

    • Actually judging by some grills, you may not find 2520′s at a dentist’s office in England either….*

      *I kid, I kid….but some grills be lacking

      Reply ↓

  50. Oh. Em. Gee.
    all of y’all are killin me today..
    precious’ cleavage?? (@labakir)
    Soulja Boy’s complex lyrics (@humbleone)
    OchoCinco reality show (@caballeroso)
    Blackplanet, like a hidden-in-plain-sight kinda deal (@maximillian)
    old refrigerators (@shaydlady)

    Oh, how I heart the vsbc (vsb community). :D

    Carry on.

    Reply ↓

  51. Seriously I actually did go through this with my daughter. I took her to a kid’s defense class given by the city. It was actually REALLY good. I also did a mini reenactment with my brother as the villian and she did good! She ran super fast (it took everything in my power not to laugh at how fast she ran) and grabbed her safety phone and went into her hiding spot to call 911. I think this is so important for kids to get this under their belt beyond just words. I even taught her to NOT come out no matter what unless she can see me or a cop….even if she sees me in trouble to stay where she is on the phone. If you have kids, you should do this. The cops even taught the kids to run out the house if they can screaming FIRE. One more thing about sexual predators: If you can, talk to your children about telling you even if the person says they will hurt their mom/dad. Kids actually believe this and will try to protect you by keeping the secret. Guarantee them they will be safe no matter what and to always tell you. It seems like common sense but you would be surprised.

    Okay now that I’m being a debbie downer…I will say Panama I am so mad at your for saying black people don’t read and fear education and have no husbands. LMAO! That’s not funny. -_-

    Reply ↓

    • Funny! Ok, let me take a stab at it.
      Hide your men at:

      1) The Wedding Chapel
      2) Brooks Brothers – Ninjas are either wearing suits from the Steve Harvey Collection or no suits at all.
      3) The Faithful Husbands’ Convention
      4) A Fortune 500 Corporation’s Board Room
      5) National League Baseball game (other than Jigga performing at the Yankees game)

      Hide your woman at:

      1) Wearing my own hair salon
      2) The size 2 clothing convention (Drop the Chalupa)
      3) The gym
      3) Condom Section at the grocery store

      Reply ↓

    • I’m all up in Barnes and Nobles. le sigh.

      Nevermind..I am PROUD, that I’m a nerd. Hide ME in a book. :D

      Reply ↓

  54. LMAO!! I haven’t seen this clip in over a week, and it still brings me joy. Mary J.

    Where would you hide your kids, your wife, or your husband due to the fact that they’re rapin’ everybody out here?

    – Public pool. Ya’ll know black people can’t swim. And yes, I am assuming “they” are black since Twan said the perp had a coffee complexion. Speaking of which, you need to see this spoof if you haven’t already… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lY9vEwtzbOg

    And you know Hard In the Paint goes hard. “Waka waka waka waka waka waka, flocka flocka flocka flocka flocka flocka. Waka. Flocka. Flame.” The best writing of the year… lol.

    Reply ↓

  56. Due to the fact that they are raping everbody out chea, i would hide my kids, my wife, and my husband at larry elder’s house. or inside clarence thomas’ robe. or at whole foods market, by all the alternative soaps and deodorants cuz there are black people at whole foods in general, but not in that section cuz we not tryin to use no natural deodorant and end up funky by 6 o’clock in the morning. now the natural oils section, oh we be in thea , cuz they rapin everybody out chea!

    Reply ↓

    • Funny list! I only disagree with one, and I know we all just havin’ fun. Black folks be up and through Whole Check Foods out here. They work there too.

      Reply ↓

      • Deng. Epic fail @ me for not reading your comment fully. My fault, Charli! Sorry! Yes, no one wants to risk feeling “not quite fresh” …

        Reply ↓

  57. Panama what in the H3LL just happened?

    Anyway, where would YS hide a ninja so he wouldn’t get raped?… hmmmmm *finger on chin*…

    Yo’ Mama house (I kid I kid, you know dat)

    Uh, I’mma hide dem…
    1. @ the dentist… ninjas hate going to the dentist, shoot add the doctor’s office to dat (high cholestrol is a scary beesh)
    2. Anywhere with a large body of water (excluding my pants ahhaha!)
    3. In the tithe line 2 church

    Reply ↓

    • @Yeah…So
      “Anywhere with a large body of water (excluding my pants ahhaha!)”

      hmmmmm *finger on MY chin*…

      Reply ↓

      • Why have a finger on yo chin when you can have my thighs on yo sideburns? Nikki Minaj.

        Gotta stop readin SFG comments, such a bad (as in good) influence :)

        Reply ↓

              • @keisha,

                OHHH..I read that wrong. Hooked on Phonics didn’t work.

                Yeah, I guess it would make sense for me to keep up seeing as I got that gigantic twitter list. lol

                #vsbluminati << If you ain't up on it…hit my twitter. @pinchmycheekie

                Sh*t is exclusive.

                o_O

                Reply ↓

              • Wow confusion has never been so funny…

                *leans in close to the camera… motions for you to come closer to the tv screen* Last I heard, Mr SoBo and Nickers were eboos but the way he’s been caring on, you know “fine dinin without that 69in” there could be a lil trouble in paradise… But I’m not one to gossip so you ain’t heard that from me. lol

                Reply ↓

              • @Cheekie *while handing KB a tissue* So you mean TO TELL ME that Mr. So.BO. is on the market? (O.O)… *waves to Mr. SoBo* HEYYYY! I like fine dining Boo! I LIKE FINE DINING! lol

                Reply ↓

              • @Mr. SoBo,

                The e-boot? When was she ever in position to be booted? I didn’t see this! How did I miss this? Where am I? Who’s TALKING?!

                Reply ↓

              • I thought Nickerz eboo is Sobo??? That’s why I fell back cause I don’t want to get stomped. Plus me and my eboo got our own problem. He travels and leaves me here alone. *sigh*

                But if African and Sobo wanna fight nakid

                I’m not against watching that.

                Reply ↓

              • I don’t fight over e-punani, so I’m good. African can have her.

                That’s why SoBo don’t fall in love, I stand in it, so I can walk out of that shyt anytime I please. And right now, I got my sneakers on and I’m jogging out of this bullsheezzy.

                This Unicorn is roaming free. Who wanna saddle up and tame this beast?
                If you’r e-worthy, I may even let you pet my magical horn.

                Reply ↓

              • #whenkeepingitrealgoeswrong… smh

                Now about that nekkid fight… y’all prolly should just go ahead and get that over wit and out your system… matter-o-fact, let me just gon’ ahead and get y’all get ready *breaks out portable baby oil dispenser*

                Reply ↓

              • I just picked my jaw off the damn floor!! Sobo is the best user of vocab on this mug. LMMMAAAOOO. Pet your magical horn? -_O All is not well in paradise? Blasphemy!

                Yeah So you got me dead with the baby oil. Make it lavendar scent so these ninjas can smell good while they at it.

                Reply ↓

      • “these n-ggas can’t leave me, I swear they can’t leave me
        ass so bad and the p-ssy like Fiji”- lol
        -Diamond

        Wow, Panama really must be on today. Already a Nikki Minaj AND Diamond quote and it taint even 12:30 yet. What ever you did to inspire this post from him O_O *cough* THANK YOU! lol

        Reply ↓

  58. this post AND the comments following said post have made my morning!!!

    Co sign on the dentist’s and doctor’s offices and produce sections. I will add the Passport line at the USPS b/c ninjas don’t travel outside of their state. o.O

    Reply ↓

  59. Hide them with bin laden. Heck they can’t find him, so they won’t find your kids, your wife, and your husband

    walking away slowly

    Reply ↓

  60. “*Props to Cheekie for the title…clap for her.”

    *curtsies* Yeah, clap for me, please. Or I’ll clap back. Ja Rule. DAMN that was a horrible song. Anywho…

    Thanks for the love Panama. I would return it, but you a 3. LOL, naw, come here with yo sexxy self. *hugs* (it wasn’t no chuuch hug, neither. *wink*)

    Anywho (again).

    Other places to hide your wifekidshusbandskeithsweat:

    - Montana Fishbourne’s pron film set. ‘Cuz ain’t nobody e’en talmbout that no mo’.
    - Teabaggers rally. Um, if they carry guns at a speech where the effing POTUS was at the podium, what do you think they gon’ do your 3 dollar bill arse?
    - Whereever O’So’Krispie at. WTF happened to her? Why she ain’t that girl? Why Chilli and TBoz just abandon that po’ chile? If you can hide like HER…you can hide. On some pro ish.

    Reply ↓

  61. Why must I die @ pint size treball panama. Speaking of as much congratulations Roy Wood Jr. The Tre from last comic standing.

    Hey uhm how you gone rip my mini. Oooh she is a serious soul singer. Vivian Green need to bow down I think.

    Hide yo people innnn the bougie areas of the world?

    Reply ↓

  63. I’m seeing a lot of “dentist” comments. Do black people really hate the dentist? But we, as a culture, have great teeth compared to…..’others’. Or is it just me thinking that? Yall ain’t never seen close ups of 2520′s in facebook pictures and wonder why the hell they didn’t see all that scrapeable mess on they teeth and untag themself? Do I live in the twilight zone? Somebody hep me.

    Reply ↓

    • @charli skipper
      YES! A lot of us abhor the dentist! I have seen to many rotted out, beige,brown/black colored, foul smelling, yuck mouths w/ Black folks. And what’s so sad, they have NO shame…they have the audacity to grin and cheese to show the jacked up grill AND they want to breathe all hard and pollute the atmosphere! I often have to pray that I don’t make a really mean and ugly face when dealing with such undentist persons.

      Reply ↓

    • I go to the dentist. I hate going, but I still go. That guy made a lot of money off of me over the past year and I am not about let him make more than just my damn co-pay. Last time I went, he said no new tooth decay. I had not heard that in my entire life. I keep floss picks with me when I travel and that has helped out a lot. Might even invest in a Sonicare toothbrush. Actually, I do like going to the dentist. His wife is the receptionist and she is a sweet ol’ gal, the kind of lady that would give out candy, if, you know, it wasn’t a dentist’s office. Next is to get the wisdom pulled. yay.

      Reply ↓

  64. I know there’s a deeper moral to this story…his sister was attacked but why can’t I help but laugh (with tears streaming down my face) the 3 times that I listened to that song…smh.
    that is all. =)

    Reply ↓

  66. Funny! Ok, let me take a stab at it.
    Hide your men at:

    1) The Wedding Chapel
    2) Brooks Brothers – Ninjas are either wearing suits from the Steve Harvey Collection or no suits at all.
    3) The Faithful Husbands’ Convention
    4) A Fortune 500 Corporation’s Board Room
    5) National League Baseball game (other than Jigga performing at the Yankees game)

    Hide your woman at:

    1) Wearing my own hair salon
    2) The size 2 clothing convention (Drop the Chalupa)
    3) The gym
    3) Condom Section at the grocery store

    Reply ↓

    • “3) Condom Section at the grocery store”

      Bwahahaha… Can I add Marriage Counseling (h3ll any counseling) to your list? Either for men or women, it still applies.

      Reply ↓

    • @FP!
      This is the BEST!!! ah hahahahahahahahahaha
      the condom store? wearing my own hair salon? The GYM never dat! Everytime I go to the gym I say a silent prayer for the Lord to guide my sistas this way. Black women are NOT sweating out that perm. LOL

      Reply ↓

  67. 1. In a closet

    The closet is one of the first places I looked when I was a kid. A much better place to hide is in the oven, as most black people are unaware that they even own one.

    2. In a book.

    Cosigned. Books to black people is what holy water is to Vampires. Tried & true, I still am fully comfortable hiding my rent money in a hollowed out copy of “War and Peace.” My only suggestion here is to not hide it in anything related to black culture, because then all bets are off.

    Meaning, do NOT hide anything of value in The Source. Or in a biography of Big Meech.

    3. In college.

    Another excellent place. As an addendum, I’d like to say that Honors classes are surefire wont-be-raped places to hide.

    5. At a Waka Flocka Flame concert.

    Go Youtube some Waka Flaka concert footage. I guarantee you’ll change your mind.

    Additional good places:

    Whole foods, Job Fairs, Libraries, instruction manuals, positive bank account balances, and any bill collector’s office.

    Additional bad places:

    Pawn shops, Flea Markets, Rent-A-Center, anything with “Carry-Out” in the title, Foot Locker, and anywhere they sell rims.

    Reply ↓

    • Places where we will be out in droves:

      licquor stores
      any place that has free shyt
      check cashing places
      Popeyes’
      Churches (that can be your local worship house or the one that sells okra, jalepeno peppers and hunny biscuits)
      WIC office
      Grocery store on the first of the month
      Braid shops
      On a corner near Martin Luther King St., Rd., Dr., Ave.,Terrace, Village
      car shows

      Reply ↓

  71. You could hide them in Fantasia’s aspirin bottle, since that’s currently empty.

    What…too soon?

    Reply ↓

  72. I literally died at #4. I remember commenting on a post about a year ago asking where you can find ninjas. My response: Twitter. 1 year later, they still in there like butt hair. smh

    Reply ↓

  73. you’re a fool. that is all. lmbo.

    “have you tried to put a ninja in a book today? probably not.”

    that.is. HILARIOUS. lmbooo. ican’t.

    Reply ↓

  74. *tries to take offense to the U2 concert reference, then remembers the sea of salt that I peppered at their last show*

    Eh. True words.

    Reply ↓

  75. Places you can NEVER find Black people

    * the missing girl stories on Nancy Grace
    * in the anchor chair on the weeknight evening news
    * on the arm of a professional athlete
    * not getting charged for petty crimes (I see you, Giuliani’s daughter)
    * in the CEO’s office

    Reply ↓

  79. “First rule of fight club is that nobody talks about fight club.”
    …amongst my top favorite lines of all time!

    Reply ↓

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