Comments on: Taking The Lead

By: Bayou Classic

Bayou Classic — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 19:49:31 +0000

@Gem of the Ocean, to answer your question simply…yes.
Being led doesn’t mean that the two of you can’t discuss things & give your opinion. I would hope that if your plan is better and more logical then he should be “man enough” to accept that. But that discussion id between the two of you. I feel that anyone on the outside looking in should see him leading his family (even if it was the woman’s idea). I’ve seen this work for the 30 years that I watched my parents & both sets of grandparents & various other married couples that I looked up to. The women still had their say, still spoke up & all had hellified mouth pieces (LOL) but at the end of the day, when their husband said what it was gonna be- that’s what it was.
And… you are right, the role can be shared, I even feel you on the redirecting…I just feel that it is my place to share that role as being supportive behind the scenes, not standing side by side shouting to the world that I am his equal.

By: Lady Chelle

Lady Chelle — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 20:35:31 +0000

@bittersweet’s baby, RE: stop nursing grown ass mean……AMEN TO THAT! Let a man be a man & stand up on his own two feet! That will only help his ego and make him a better man!

By: Lady Chelle

Lady Chelle — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 20:32:42 +0000

@Gem of the Ocean, I do have to agree that, we as women, need to hold our men accountable and “demand” that they hold up their end of the bargin in a relationship. However, I also feel that there is a such thing as being “too independent”. It is ok to admit we need men in our lives, because we do. I personally enjoy hearing about how things were in the 50′s….where women were women & men were men, and we knew the difference. I’m all for being successful, I’m a single (divorced) mother of 2 and proudly make it happen on my own. At the same time however, I would love to be able to cater to a black man & do all the girlie things (cook/clean/be a lady in the streets & freak for him at home), & I have no problem working; but it’s too hard now-a-days to find a good man who appreciates that…..and I personally blame the women’s liberation movement for part of that.

By: GabbyTime

GabbyTime — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 02:27:51 +0000

@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Ok, this is mad late and you probably won�t even get a glimpse of this but eff it.

I went through four years of college. And what I went through to march through the arch with my robes and whatever on was more than just bangin out years.

It was a test of my ability to balance finances, increase my intellect, read voraciously, get drunk yet still get to class, overcome stereotypes, protest, bullshit, go against the grain, smoke weed and still get to class, eat fried chicken and not get fat, have discreet sex with a man who is not my boyfriend, not get pregnant, not get an std, do community service, cuss people out, act, phtograph, persuade teachers, go to foam parties and have allergic reactions to said foam, and walk to class in a do rag.

I understand college educations can be things of snobbery, but if you can do all of that shit it four years (thus making yourself a fuller person) without college then you�re definitely worth my time. I�m just saying, college is what it took for me to become a little bit more badass and I think if done correctly it can achieve the same results for many a human being….not all, but many.

Plus these individual success stories of fortune sans college are nice, but they also trick mediocre muthafucks into thinking they are Kanye West (who said, and I quote: “I dont know no books.” Waaah?). Schoolin ain�t a bad thing. period.

I want a well educated man and that doesn�t make me a snob. But if one comes along with no degree but makes me heart thump and keeps my… brain.. stimulated…let�s do it!

By: Honey Bee

Honey Bee — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 03:44:44 +0000

@Tx10inch,

that video was mad funny

By: Cheekie

Cheekie — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 03:26:27 +0000

@Happy Meal,

Understood and definitely agreed!

By: Cheekie

Cheekie — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 03:23:28 +0000

@Tx10inch,

Amongst my silly debating and whatnot, I forgot to say I missed ya, man!

*e-hug*

Welcome back! *lies out welcome mat*

By: Stank-0

Stank-0 — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 03:17:21 +0000

@bittersweet’s baby,

Adam is at fault for not standing his ground. Even if Eve was rubbin the fruit all over her nekkid body.

Eve for not listening to what Adam told her. He aint say nothin about touchin no fruit. Not nothing.

By: bittersweet's baby

bittersweet's baby — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 02:20:24 +0000

@BlkBond,

Deep, heavy sigh… Soooo shallow women are the only kind you’ve been exposed to, huh? Nothing in life is absolute and you won’t know anything for sure until you go thru. But you should’ve gathered enough intel by the time they come to know that you’ll get by together. But I’m an idealist n shii…

And I’m too tired to link this to your last comment but that’s what my reply’s about.

By: Happy Meal

Happy Meal — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 00:40:21 +0000

@Cheekie,
naw girl…money is only the result of what you do (I know very satisfied couples where it is the woman who makes the financial decisions, because as a couple they agreed SHE is better at it).

I’m talmbout who you are as a person… I think we can all agree that men and women are different. I believe you can’t be a good mate to nobody (whatever your role in the relationship ends up being) if you don’t become who YOU were designed to be, as an individual first, then in the context of your relationship. It’s hard enough getting to where I’m sposed to be, me as a growing female individual and all, to be tryina figure out what his mission is and tryina fulfill that to.

As women having the miraculous powers of persuasion that we do, we can inspire and encourage the men in our lives to grow and go further, mainly through our example and support, but that’s it. I believe you invite trouble when you try to usurp…If you must do all and be all…stay single, because that’s the time when you HAVE to be all those things.