Here’s a little background for all those suckas that don’t know: One day, I was talking on the G-chat with Cheekie. She mentioned that a gaggle of ladies would be descending up on DC in early April for the Cherry Blossom Festival. A segment had been to Miami and decided to hang out again in our nation’s capital. She asked me if we could do some kind of VSB event. I’m sure I said, “sure” and surely, we began formulating the plan to create a happy hour style event that turned into the Three Deez VSB Three Year Anniversary Party and Book Signing (which was also accidentally named by Cheekie).
And it was also the event where The Champ and I met for the first time. Before I get into the random recaps (alcohol was present, dontchaknow), I feel like everybody else was WAY more excited about us finally meeting than we were. Not that it wasn’t due, but when you work with and deal with somebody for so long, the meeting is merely a formality. But yes it still had to happen. Were there jitters? No. Curiousity? No. Illiteracy? No. Racism? No. So, what did happen when we met? How did the first meeting between VSBs The Champ and Panama Jackson go????
Glad you asked.
Liz and I picked him up from his hotel. He got in my car. I noticed he didn’t have a coat and told him he was on his white boy Pittsburgh sh*t rolling around without a jacket in 50 degree weather. Then we talked about how gay the cake was (if you saw the cake, it was pretty gay). It was pretty much how two ninjas who’ve known each other for a very long time would interact. Easy breezy beautiful cover girl. And yes, the cake was gayer than that last sentence I just typed. No real pomp. No real circumstance. Just two real G’s doing real G things.
Going to a restaurant with a cake in hand and a bunch of books to sell. Fern. Gully.
And with that said, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan was that a good time. There were drinks flying everywhere. Women all over. More men than I thought would show up. Books. Signed books. Old friends. New shoes. And I think Brick killed a guy. We met so many folks who frequent the site and met some new folks who hopefully will begin to do so. Here are some random observations from Three Deez knucka.
- Champ is a basketball head. We all know this. So what does he do for the first half hour that we’re there? Watch the VCU-Butler game? What do I do? Go holler at chicks and do banging re-interpolation of Adele’s “Chasing Pavements” complete with interpretive dance. What does that tell us? Put two ninjas in a room together and one is watching ball and the other is singing and dancing. That’s what it was like in 1811 and it’s like that in 2011. We got to do better.
- Champ is hilarious in person. Of course I didn’t know how much so until Saturday. We signed books for a very long time but we also had some hilarious moments signing those books. If you could read some of the things he signed in folks books? Here’s an example: To Shuuuuuuuga – two wrongs don’t make a right, but loving VSB (and me) means you make good decisions in life. Aw shuga no no no no. Champ?
To Shuuuuuuuuuuga – why did your mother name you that? I don’t know either. Champ.
- Le sigh, the DJ might have been the best terrible DJ in history. Let me explain. See, the upstairs part wasn’t a VSB function…back up. Because we were expecting such a big turnout, we worked out with the club a way to allow folks to go into the upstairs nightclub – which had a party going on – for free. Cool beans. Except it was “deep house” night. Which isn’t a bad thing its just that NOBODY who was up in the club actually wanted to hear that. But the DJ was a dope DJ, if that’s what you wanted to hear. Of course, his party, his rules, but I’m pretty sure a lot of the women wanted to drop it like it was hot but couldn’t find the beat to do so because the average BPM was 287. You’ll kill yourself trying to drop that in time. But it was free, and there was a bar…
- …which means that we took shots. Quite a few actually. At one point, at least 10 people lined up to take kamikaze shots with me. I can’t even remember everybody who participated. But it was dark, and hell is hot. Pretty sure nobody paid for it anyway so praise the lord and pass the panties.
- All of the out of town ladies came thru and represented HARD. Cheekie, Gem of the Ocean, Sane85, Max, Miss Patterson, Nick@Nite, Keisha Brown, LaLaBakir, Starita, and hometown heroes LiveLoveLibra and MsEsquire were the impetus for even doing the party (if I missed somebody, my bad). We all went out on Friday night and I’m pretty sure that I grabbed more derrierre than is recommended by the surgeon general. I can neither confirm nor deny if that last sentence is true.
- Pretty sure I gave SmartFoxGirl a table dance.
- The line for the book signing was insane. It also seemed like it would never end. Must be what the line to hell looks like. Thanks to everybody who bought a book and had us sign it. That felt great to know that anybody gives a sh*t about little ole us. Also, it gave us a great way to check out all of the ladies. Book signings are definitely where it’s at. Sadatay.
- Shoutouts to the SingleBlackMale.org family for falling through and hanging out. One of the most interesting parts of the night was when we all took a picture together and I’m pretty sure I was blinded by the 37 people taking pictures using the brightest flash possible…
…yet nobody seems to have a copy of that picture. Or any of the other ones taken for that matter. We had a photog and videographer there who will send me pictures soon and we’ll post them.
- The topic of what the difference between a Champ fan and a Panama fan came up quite frequently. It’s somewhat of a running joke between us. And no, we still never answered it to anybody who asked. At least not directly. Oh, and Classy6’5″ Diva is really that tall. Wow.
- Much like folks who’ve never seen us before, there’s an interesting feeling when you meet somebody who’s only lived in your life via word form and they look nothing like you thought they might. That sh*t can really throw you off your game. I ain’t saying that happened, but it happened. Not good or bad, I’m just saying I can’t be alone in my thoughts about that.
- I saw some superb fashion WTF moments. Hell, I was one of them. I had on a two Jesus pieces. Rapper game proper.
- We sold a boatload of books. Thank you. Buy some more. Thank you.
- To all the drunk motherf*ckers who were running around, ooooooh that’s a good look baby. Including Liz who at some point I’m pretty sure just went to go sit in a corner and play Angry Birds or something.
I’ll stop there (for now) and just add things over the course of the day. To everybody who came out (there are too many names that I do remember for me to even ATTEMPT to name them all) thank you very much. To all of the new friends we made and the old friends we saw. Oh, special shoutout to Circa1908 who Liz informed left the first comment on the blog of anybody who still comments today. It was really great meeting her and hanging. Pluse she tweeted some of the more outlandish things I said. And I’m pretty sure I said that after the New Testament is the Newer Testament, and the book right after Revelations is Realizations…and that Tupac has a chapter.
The moral? Stop drinking kids.
For those who weren’t there, fret not, we’re travelling soon. For those who were there, thanks…we appreciate the love and support and thank you for celebrating with us.
For those folks who came…what did you remember most? Speak on it. Share. Let’s make this a happy home. Carl Thomas is emotional. But we’re gangsta.
Special shoutouts to DC Tap & Parlour for hosting us with libations, food, and good service. We should all go back again.
Talk to me.
How was your Three Deez experience?
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3