Very Smart Singles (For Real This Time) And More

Writing books, throwing parties at the SAME. DAMN. TIME!!!

A year in a half or so ago, I wrote an entry talking about our plans to launch Very Smart Singles — a service created to help the thousands of single members of VSB nation connect with each other, date, (hopefully) copulate, and (maybe) spawn a race of big-headed VSB babies.

Unfortunately — well, fortunately for us, but unfortunately for Very Smart Singles — “Your Degrees Won’t Keep You Warm At Night” was released a month later, and that pretty much took up all of our attention and energy.

Anyway, we have quite a few things planned for the next couple of months, and the return — and follow through — of Very Smart Singles is one of them

Here are the details:

A person (male or female) submits a picture and a short (150-200 word) and witty (well, as witty as you can be) bio to our email address. Included in the bio should be their general location (i.e.: DMV, Greater Atlanta area, etc) and the name they prefer to have on their profile. (For instance, if your name is Kimberly Johnson, you’d be “Kim J”, “K.J.”, or “Kimmers”)

We’ll then post the pic and the bio on VSB as its own entry. (We’ll eventually have a Very Smart Singles permeneat sidebar, but for now this’ll do) People interested in possibly meeting the Very Smart Single will email us, and we’ll then contact the Very Smart Single, giving them the contact info of whoever expressed interest. From that point, they’re on their own.

We plan to launch this in a few weeks, but we’re currently accepting submissions so that we can hit the ground running. If you’re interested, email a hi-definition picture, a short bio, and your location to contact@verysmartbrothas.com, under the heading “Very Smart Singles.”

Also, if you already sent something in during the first go around, please resend if you’re still interested.

A couple more things…

After receiving over 500 emails, we ended up choosing three interns — Mylon M., a D.C. resident who actually was one of the baby-haired kids in the Just For Me ads that used to run on BET in the late 90′s, Natalie D., a Princeton student and former female pro wrestler, and “Stalls,” who won’t allow us to print her real name because she owes the IRS $19,000. These lovely ladies are needed additions to the VSB team, we’re glad to have them on board, and we apologize in advance for all the shit we’re going to put them through and all the Greyhound station Bible study classes Liz will drag them to.

A couple weekends ago, Panama drove up to the Burgh so that we could record an audio version of “Your Degrees…” at Ya Momz House, the recording studio owed by my man Emmai Alaquiva. All of the final engineering and production was completed this week, and we’ll have it available shortly (possibly by next week). Stay tuned and shit.

There’s something else really big in the works that I’m not allowed to talk about right now. Lets just say that you’re going to be seeing a lot more of “us” in the very near future.

It’s still not to late to cop a limited edition VSB sweatshirt from our partnership with Coliseum Apparel. Forget about the fact that it’s supposed to be like 90 degrees everywhere on the entire east coast this weekend. Cop it, and literally be the hottest dude (or chick) in the club.

Lastly, if you’re in the D.C. area this weekend, come through to #REMINISCEDC, the party dedicated to all 90s music at Liv Nightclub in DC!!! Straight hip-hop/r&b/dancehall brought to you by Very Smart Brothas x Shine On Me x Just Cause Events. Come party with us THIS Saturday, May 5, also know as Cinco De Mayo (rock your sombrero), FOR FREE! It’s FREE before 11pm with RSVP (reminiscedc.eventbrite.com) and $10 after, there’s an OPEN BAR from 930-1030PM (sponsored by Courvoisier) and NO DRESS CODE. It’s cheaper to come out and party!!!! After you down all the Coronos and Margaritas you can, come party with us! Plus, we’ll have $5 drink specials all night long. Really, you can’t beat it.

Anyway, VSB nation, does anyone have anything new and exciting (or old and mundane) that you want to get off of your chest? The carpet is yours.

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

 

VSB Happenings: #REMINISCEDC (5/5/12), #DEFJAM25DC (5/12/12), Sweatshirts

It’s been a long time, we shouldn’t have left you, without a newsletter to skim thru. It’s your main ninja behind the motherlovin’ trigga, Panama Jackson, and I’m here to talk shop with you today. For starters…hello. How you doin? How ya mama doin? Good? Great. First things first…we’ve got some events to talk about.

5.5.12 #REMINISCEDC | Liv Nightclub, Washington, DC
First up, it’s time for another edition of #REMINISCEDC, the party dedicated to all 90s music at Liv Nightclub in DC!!! Straight hip-hop/r&b/dancehall brought to you by Very Smart Brothas x Shine On Me x Just Cause Events. Come party with us THIS Saturday, May 5, also know as Cinco De Mayo (rock your sombrero), FOR FREE! It’s FREE before 11pm with RSVP (reminiscedc.eventbrite.com) and $10 after, there’s an OPEN BAR from 930-1030PM (sponsored by Courvoisier) and NO DRESS CODE. It’s cheaper to come out and party!!!! After you down all the Coronos and Margaritas you can, come party with us! Plus, we’ll have $5 drink specials all night long. Really, you can’t beat it. Peep the flyer!

Then, there’s ANOTHER dope event to talk about for the hip-hop lover in you! It’s the celebration of Def Jam’s book talking about their first 25 years in existence happening in DC. Peep the Details:

5.12.12 Def Jam 25 | The Lincoln Theatre, Washington, DC
Join us as we pay homage to the 25 year milestone of the iconic Rap Label-DEF JAM & The Book it inspired- “Def Jam: The First 25 Years of the Last Great Record Label”. Check the festivities below.

CONVERSATION with Cey Adams-Def Jam’s founding Creative Director, Bill Adler-founding Publicist, Rap Legends EPMD, invited guests DJ Spinderella (Salt-N-Pepa), Timothy Anne Burnside [Smithsonian Institution NMAAHC]…

PERFORMANCES by The Legendary EPMD, Asheru, Carolyn Malachi, Tabi Bonney, Maimouna Youssef, RaTheMC, JF Koop, Seez Mics and more

Lincoln Theater – 1215 U St NW WDC 20009
Tickets : $35 adv/42.50 day of/$50 box seats
Promotion Pkg $85 incl. advanced ticket and book

Tickets: Ticketmaster (http://bit.ly/DefJamTix), Lincoln Theater Box Office
Or to arrange drop-off service (DC) email us : info@hedrushmusic.com

Info: info@hedrushmusic.com
Facebook: HedRush // Twitter: @HedRushMusic and #defjam25dc

****NOTE: Representatives from Hedrush will be on site at Reminisce this Saturday to sell tickets in person if you’d like to avoid the TicketMaster excess fees!****

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, we’re still selling VSB crewneck sweatshrits in collaboration with Coliseum Apparel. These shirts feature the VSB logo and are perfect for every day hanging and support of your favorite website. Go to the link here and get your cop on. They’re going fast! We really appreciate all of the support that’s been provided to us over the years and if I could buy everybody their own, I’d do it! But I can’t…but I’ll hi-five you if I see you in one!

Well that’s all for today and I know that was a lot! Happy hunting! Thanks for sleepwalking with the kids!

Takeaways From Yesterday’s “Rape Responsibility” Discussion

1. I made the decision to write full-time a little over a year ago. While the transition hasn’t always been smooth, I maintain that it’s the best choice I ever made. The successes we’ve had at VSB collectively and I’ve had personally have been documented, and 2012 is shaping up to be even better.

I’m bringing this up because all of this success has undoubtedly made my already large head even bigger. I’ve become more secure in my voice and my ability to articulate, amuse, and entertain, but with that came an arrogance that leads to days like yesterday.

I think I can (and should be able to) tackle any topic, so when I was browsing through different websites Monday afternoon, looking for something to write for Tuesday, I came across Zerlina’s article about rape, read the comments, and naturally thought “I think I’ll offer a (slightly) dissenting viewpoint. I might upset a couple people, but it’ll be no big deal. They (our readership) know and love me already, so the people who do happen to get upset will forget all about it by 3pm Tuesday afternoon.”

I was wrong.

While I think this conversation needs to be had, I’m not well-versed enough with this topic to even take the chance to articulate the types of thoughts I did yesterday. And, even if I was a rape issues maven, this isn’t the type of topic that someone like me — a snarky, sarcastic, (somewhat) insensitive, and (too) pragmatic asshole — should attempt to tackle by myself.

Perhaps I may get there eventually, but I’m not there yet, and it took a day like yesterday to drive that point home.

Also, it was a poorly crafted post. The title was unnecessarily incendiary and sensationalistic, the premise was drawn from a flawed inference (more on that later), the examples I used to make my point were lazy, insulting, and (very) hurtful, the conclusion was completely tone deaf, and the post-post 11 am edit was an abject fail.

Plus, as Panama stated in a conversation we had yesterday, because of the nature of VSB — we occasionally get “serious,” but most of our topics are meant to be light-hearted and entertaining. also, we usually touch on one topic one day and keep it moving. — this isn’t really the place for the type of discussion this conversation warranted. Honestly, if yesterday’s post didn’t blow up the way it did, today’s topic would have either been a (super-late) NBA preview or something about first date etiquette.

For instance, a glance at the screen while writing this tells me it’s 2:54 pm. In three hours, I’m meeting a couple people to create another “Sh*t___Says” YouTube video. And, lets just say that people who plan to spend entire evenings filming videos titled “Shit Diva Dudes Say To Bougie Black Girls” probably shouldn’t post potentially explosive pieces about rape two days before this silly-ass video debuts.

As much as I spoke about common sense Tuesday, the decision to post a controversial opinion about women and rape didn’t exhibit very much of it.

I do not apologize for possessing the feeling I was attempting to convey. But, I do apologize for being too arrogant to realize how wrong it was for me to attempt to convey it here yesterday. It’s an issue too touchy, too sensitive, too nuanced, and too volatile for a person without a master understanding of the topic to address on a platform as big as VSB’s.

2. Judging from what Google Analytics currently says (it’s 3:08 pm now, btw), yesterday’s post will probably generate 10 to 12,000 unique visitors. A year ago, this would have been one of our highest traffic days ever. Today, it’s maybe the 6th or 7th highest day in the last two weeks.

Both Panama and I (and Liz for that matter) have had some difficulties dealing with this increase in readership and reach; some relatively easy to handle (increased server costs, needing to hire interns, etc), and some that’ll take a bit more brainpower to solve.

One of these “difficult” problems is the fact that increased readership means that there’s a greater chance that someone not at all familiar with you will find your link on Facebook or Twitter, and it’s been a struggle trying to straddle the line between “opinionated and editor-less blogger who can say whatever the hell he wants with no repercussions” and “person who may need to be more cognizant of his words because he’s not just speaking around friends anymore

With this growth comes an increase in responsibility, and I know I seriously let some people down yesterday. I can’t promise that it won’t happen again. You can’t be successful at this without taking some chances and (occasionally) upsetting people. But, going forward, I do promise to be more conscious of the effect my words can have on people.

With all that being said, although I was genuinely surprised with (and hurt by) the reaction in the comments (and on Twitter), I really don’t want anyone to think that today’s piece and yesterday’s mid-morning edit are me back-tracking or trying to elicit any sympathy. Yes, I feel bad that there are some people who’ve never heard of VSB before and are going to use yesterday as their first (and, likely, only) impression of us, but this is what I signed up for when we decided to build this blog, and if I accept the praise, I have to handle the criticism too. I said it, signed my (real) name to it, and whoever doesn’t like it has a right to call me on it.

3. After re-reading Zerlina’s post for the umpteenth time yesterday, I realized that I definitely reached for the inferences I made. Because I followed the discussion about it on Twitter before actually reading it, I read it with an agenda, looking for a few things that weren’t actually there. I know how shitty it feels to have people make conclusions about something you’ve written before actually reading it, and I apologize to Zerlina for doing that to her.

4. You’ve probably noticed that I haven’t actually said anything about yesterday’s content yet, and I don’t plan to. That ship has sailed. I will say though, that as hard as this may be to believe, I actually did appreciate yesterday’s discussion. Perhaps the best part of VSB is the Very Smart readers, followers, and fans we tend to have, and yesterday was one of those days where I could sit back, read, and learn from them.

Among these things I learned was that there is a major disconnect among some very smart people about issues such as consent and rape/crime prevention and the definitions and proper applications of terms like accountability and responsibility. I don’t know if anything was “solved” yesterday (or if they ever will be), but I don’t think I was the only one surprised by how far apart many of us are when these topics are brought up.

I’m sure yesterday cost us some fans and dissuaded people who would have been fans in the future. That’s unfortunate. For those who did come back today, thank you, and lets continue to entertain (and educate) each other. My eyes and ears feel a little more open today, and I hope yours do too.

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”) 

The #vsblockout Is Over (We Think)

They love me. They love me not.

Hi.

My name is Panama Jackson. You may remember from such websites as VSB BP (before pr0n) or VSB BTSSFU (before the site started f*cking up). I have a partner named Champ and a bawse named Liz. We write ’bouts relationships. race, pop culture…you know, the usual.

Enough of the intros. It feels good to be home. You may be wondering, just what the f*ck happened to the site, and what’s with all of the issues we’ve been having around here? Or you may have left a comment saying “VSB used to be dope. It ain’t what it used to be around here.”

Boo hoo ni**a.

Let’s rap a taste. So what was Gucci my ninja? Well it turns out we got robbed. Actually we got hacked. Some big evil bad man (think Dr. Evil with an afro wig and some chopsticks) came into our lifespace and f*cked our site the f*ck up. Got real belligerent and ignant. Just disrespectful. The site got overloaded and crashed multiple times. Every time we thought it was fixed (due to some handy work by Liz) we got inundated with more f*cksh*t. It’s like we were fat because we couldn’t stop eating, and we couldn’t stop eating because we were fat. I love lamp.

The thing that was most annoying for us was that we knew that folks were getting pissed and frustrated. And so were we. Champ and I nearly drove Liz to a permanent retirement no less that 5 times. Liz personally told me to go f*ck myself at least 78 times. And that was in one convo. Plus, everybody kept telling us on Twitter, email, real life (for real, somebody stopped me in the street and was like “yo, your site keeps messing up P”) and on Facebook. Trust me, we knew. Thing is, we couldn’t really take the site down because then we couldn’t make sure our fixes were working. Again, fat = eating, eating = fat.

Not to mention that the site was giving some folks viruses and sending OTHER people to pr0n sites. Unintentionally. Thing is, we all like some pr0n around here. We just want to view it because we want to…which means on our own time.

Raise your hand if you got sent to pr0n at work?

*raises hand*

Le sigh.

We even had to bring in somebody else to help out who may have unlocked the key to the chastity belt to the stars. So hopefully we’re all to the good right now. Of course, we’re monitoring the site to make sure things are running. But we just wanted to let everybody know that…

…a muthaf*cka apologize. DAAAAAAMN.

So what exactly were we doing during the #vsb lockout? Allow me to inform you:

Panama started the world’s first for-profit non-profit, dedicated to selling NFL apparel to help pay the bills of NBA players. He’s gangbusters right now. He also got into that sh*t that George Harrison was on when he wrote “Here Comes The Sun” and “Something”. He also started a support group for people that cannot believe Taylor Swift won the AMA for Artist of the Year, co-founded with Taylor Swift.

Champ. Oh Champ. Champ became angry, bitter, disjointed, and quite crotchety. He bought a bunch of Bill Cosby sweaters and started watching Reed Between The Lines and rocking back and forth in a rocking chair lamenting the old days. He could be heard yelling “f*ck Theo” a lot. He also started an onion garden because onions have layers like Shrek.

Liz. Well, last I heard Liz joined a convent for a day after witnessing a murder in Reno. She quit though when they told her that she couldn’t Tweet all day. Liz then decided to shut up Panama and The Champ by fixing the site and telling them to kick rocks or she’d erase the entire archives. She’d do, she’d do it, yeah we know she’d do it, cuz she’s a te-te-te-tech junkiiiiiiiiiie.

Anyway, we’ve all given up our other lives and come back to dust off VSB and hopefully kick things into high gear. Thanks for sleepwalking with the kids, and we should be back in effect mode like Al B. Sure.

RIP Heavy D.

Welcome back, again. Hopefully we don’t have too many more issues.

So…what did you do during the #vsblockout?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. BACK LIKE COOKED CRACK aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

 

Do You Know What Today Is?

It's our Anniversary Bitches

That’s right, folks. Today, March 31, 2010 is our Anniversary. The day that marketh the conclusion of the second year of VSB.com’s birth.

A few words from the VSB Leadership

Panama Jackson: I, Panama Dontavious Jackson, just want to thank you, heavenly father, for shining your light on me. You make me happy, so very ha…waitaminute. Oh. Right. VSB. We just want everybody to know how much we appreciate you all coming thru over the past 2 years. There have been ups and downs. Tears and fears. Sometimes we traded tears for fears but at the end of the day, the fact that I’m a 3 never railroaded me. And since no trains were run during the making of this accomplishment, today was a good day. It is definitely hard to say goodbye to yesterday, but tomorrow will bring, a better you, a better me. To all of you folks who come here everyday and read and comment, or just read, thanks for sleepwalking. We’ve got some bigger and better things on deck and hopefully you all will come along for the ride. We’re going from a 4.0 to a 4.6. And you know the difference between those two. And if you don’t, I’m sure somebody here will tell you. Peace to the Gods, the Earths, and the Seeds. Your friendly neighborhood 3. Thanks for real. For I am nothing, nothing, nothing…if I (we) don’t…haaaaaaaaaaaave yoooooooooooooooou…Word. Life.

The Champ: in the last two years we’ve seen a black president bring back light-skinned black male points, the dumbest thing out of alaska since the last season of “northern exposure”, the births of twitter, facebook lesbians, kanyes shag, and the overuse of the word “vet” as well as the deaths of the king of pop, hip-hop, autotune, gatorade, corey haim, john edwards’ career and kat stacks’ vag1na.

still, all of this pales in comparison to the rise of verysmartbrothas.com, the modern day continuance of riley and springers lonely shanty nights, a deadly culmination of panama jackson, liz burr, liz burr’s boobs, and an eggheaded cat from pittsburgh, and I graciously thank you for allowing us to be the most important thing any of you have ever had in your lives.

Liz: If I went by our email inbox, half of ya’ll don’t know who I am or that I help keep VSB afloat, but that’s alright. I still love you anyway. Thanks for making these past two years freaking awesome, and for putting up with us PJ and the Champ. It’s been fun working on such a large site with such an awesome community. I have enjoyed seeing the site grow and blossom to some wonderful wonderfullness, and I hope you’ll like the cool stuff we have planned in the near future.

Now, for the BIRTHDAY PRESENTS

Some of you may remember for our Centennial post we gave out (virtual) Commenter Awards. To celebrate our Second Birthday, we wanted to give a special thanks to the 10 most commenting-est commenters on VSB for the last two years. That’s right, we’re GIVING AWAY FREE VSB T-SHIRTS to these special folks. And not just any shirt, we have some new shirts coming down the pipeline (designed by a real designer!), and these Chosen Few will be the first to receive our brand spanking new exclusive design. Without further adieu …*drumroll*

The Top 10 Most Commentingest VSB Commenters of ALL TIME!

  1. miss t-lee
  2. Me fail english?
  3. Cheekie
  4. Luvvie
  5. blackberry molasses
  6. shatani
  7. WuDaMan
  8. pgh muse
  9. Gem of the Ocean
  10. Deviant

These super VSBs and VSSs have comment counts into the several thousands. Impressive. We appreciate their time and dedication to never shutting the f*ck up moving conversation here on VSB and would like for everyone to give them a nice VSB soul clap and throw a lil VSB glitter in the air. (If your name is on this list, we will be e-mailing you shortly about t-shirt options and delivery.)

The Best of VSB

10 Most Viewed Posts

  1. pants on fire: 7 things we (men) like much more than you think we doeven though well never admit it
  2. clutching the pearls: the 4 sexiest scenes in black movie history
  3. cant trust it: 9 women to avoid at all costs
  4. School Daze: 4 Reasons Why HBCUs are Better Than Wherever You Went (Unless You Went to an HBCU)
  5. sadies suspect: four reasons why women shouldnt pursue men
  6. love. actually.
  7. Thats What He Said!: 8 Great Quotes From Movies You Love (When The Rainbow Isnt Enough).
  8. all points bulletin
  9. nevermind: five surefire ways to scare her away
  10. Blackness 101: 10 Things All Black People Should (At Least) Be Aware Of

10 Most Commented Posts

  1. Hardest.Question.Ever.
  2. better than the alternative
  3. Obamanation
  4. Thursday Amusement: If You Dont Know Me By Now.
  5. the black pass
  6. link of the week: chelly o and the angry black chick conundrum
  7. Judging Books By Their Covers: 13 Nouns I Just Can’t Trust
  8. Its Our Centennial, B*tches!
  9. things that make you much more randy than they probably should
  10. Muffin.

Time for a group hug

Thanks again for taking the time to visit VSB everyday. This is the part where all the lurkers take the time to de-lurk, and leave their first comment on VSB. Everybody else? You know what to do…