I Think Mimi Really Just Wanted To *CENSORED* On Camera, B

If you are a person who both has a Twitter account and are in any way plugged into Black Twitter then your day was full of the most hilarious ridiculousness of the Mimi vs Nikko (and I call a versus because there are shower rods involved, that almost makes it a competition) sex tape that “leaked” via, well, whoever it leaked via.

Hi. I'm Mimi. This is going to go bad quickly.

Hi. I’m Mimi. This is going to go bad quickly.

But let’s start at the beginning. The supertrailer, a 4 minute and 35 second teaser, for season 3 of VH1′s Love & Hip-Hop: Atlanta hit the internet recently, followed by news reports from TMZ that the sex tape being discussed by Mimi and Nikko (Mimi had the nerve to sound concerned at one point like, “I have a daughter”) and then Mimi and Stevie J, had been procured by Vivid Entertainment. For those not in the know, Vivid has had a pretty good run in the past few years of cornering the pr0n tape markert, though I felt they slowed down a bit since sex tapes kind of became like a 40 degree day. Basically, nobody cares anymore. Anyway, Vivid was the conduit under which most tapes were released to the public. Vivid would pay a handsome sum for it and then let the dogs out. Proverbially speaking, of course.

Anyway, within what seems like hours, stills and a trailer of the tape’s best moments had hit the Tweets.

Now one thing we all know is that the Internet has no chill. But before we get to that, let’s talk for a minute about two people in particular: Mona Scott-Young and Mimi Faust.

Mona Scott-Young might actually be the devil. I’m almost convinced she has made it her singular purpose to be the producer of any and all content that places ninjas in the worst light possible. Folks still have to show up to be filmed, but for all the non-sense we talk about Tyler Perry at least he’s attempting to be positive. He may fail miserably. In fact, Tyler Perry is Julian from Wheel of Fortune, he is squandered opportunity at its apex. But Tyler Perry is making money attempting to do something positive.

Again. Attempting.

Mona gives zero f*cks. I can’t even be mad because I watch the trainwrecks. She’s an opportunist and I’m apparently here for it.

I am the problem.

photo 1 (1)Which brings us to Mimi. Oh, Mimi. We all wanted this woman to win. We wanted her to rid herself of Stevie J and move on happily. As much as she annoyed me – though to be fair, they all annoy me – Mimi was the one with some sense. But she just couldn’t not make bad choices. And it seems she hit the bad choice (but big payoff?) lottery. Now, I’m only calling her tape a bad choice because when you see folks who seem to have some sense, you want them to be able to win the old fashioned way. Plus she’s like 45. She shouldn’t have to resort to this type of stuff in her life at this point. I mean she has a maid service!!!! But somehow, her interesting looking boyfriend who once gave her a fake Rolex and who she cursed out managed to get back into her good graces and panties and they decided to pr0n it out for the cameras in order to profit in some form or other.

Which is odd because they’re kind of already on a reality show which seems like the ceiling for relatively non-talented individuals who are connected to people who have been somebody’s in a past life. But these folks chase the fame because well, what else do they have going. But be careful what you chase.

Which brings us back to the Internets. Which have no chill. Maaaaan listen. Between Kid Cudi’s terrible decision to wear a crop-top sweater while performing at Coachella…

Quick break in the action: N*ggas is wearing capes, skirts, and crop tops now? These might not be the last days, but something is foul in the state of Denmark. Out damn spot!

I’m assuming that Mimi thought a sex tape might bring some positive notoriety. Basically, she may have thought this would Kim K her life. Except…Mimi is an old hasbeen who is only famous because of this show. And her fame is limited to a certain segment of the world community: the shadows. So I don’t really know what the point is. However, what’s done is done. And once you sow…the grim reaper shows up.

The Internets is the grim reaper. The slander. The shade. The lack of f*cks. It’s Disneyland for n*gga technology. And the Internets have not disappointed. A few leaked stills and then we were off.

We’ve got this pic:

Kind of looks like what Mimi was doing.

Kind of looks like what Mimi was doing.

Then this one:

What happens when you try the Mimi special at home.

What happens when you try the Mimi special at home.

Then this picture because slander:

Stevie always finds a way to win.

Stevie always finds a way to win.

Then the worst one of all, folks really have no chill, b. A shoutout to their kid:

Ouch.

Ouch.

I don’t know why these folks set themselves up. Mostly because I don’t know what is to be gained when you’ve already maxed out your status. And we are a brutal bunch. And by we, I mean anybody with the chance at making fun of somebody else with little to no repercussions. Basically, people online. Mimi isn’t going to make it to cultural icon. But she will get meme’d the f*ck out. She already has been.

See here:

photo 4

Ya know, I wonder if celebrities feelings get hurt by this stuff. They can always fall back on “but I’m rich” but they all aren’t. And they have feelings too. I get my feelings hurt sometimes. And it hurts when people boo.

In terms of Mimi, she won’t even make it to community icon. Now, granted, there will be those folks who say that she’s a grown woman, which is true. She has the right do what she wants to. She can make all the tapes and sell them to all the world. But she’s not a pr0n star and from what I can tell that’s not her goal in life. Also, why go this route now? There really is nothing to win. Which means she probably just really wanted to f*ck for the camera’s, b.

Sure I’m talking about it right now and so is Twitter, but fame like this is short-lived. A footnote on the colon of Black History. It doesn’t matter beyond its immediacy the day we all see it (and it’s leaked which means this won’t matter by Thursday). Grown women can do what they want, but she always portrayed herself as being above the rest of these women who engage in the sex for money industry. Well the formal one. And yet here we are.

So I come to you, humbly, curious about what does one who has reached their zenith stand to gain. Why put yourself before the Internet firing squad for what really amounts to attention that doesn’t translate into even bitcoins? At least the Internet got fun out of it. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t better for it. But nobody wins.

Nobody.

And Mimi actually lost.

Reality.

-VSB P aka MR. MY TAPE AIN’T GONE VIRAL (NO STD) aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Proposals, Grand Gestures, and Why They Don’t Make Everything Better

Joe-Budden-and-TahiryRecently in Negronia aka The Land of Monday Nights on VH1, Love & Hip-Hop: New York star rapper Joe Budden proposed to longtime on-again, off-again girlfriend Tahiry Jose in a rip off of Common’s “Come Close” video sans the deaf chick, Mary J. Blige, or a knit hat.

Joey had Tahiry meet him in Times Square where he paid off somebody to run a video of him and other people holding up signs with various statements about love and companionship, etc. At the end, Joey stands there with a sign indicating that he has a question which is, *drumroll please* “will you marry me? This is where sh*t got real. See, as a man, what you don’t want to happen is the woman to hem and haw and tell you to stand up. Public proposals gone wrong have informed us over time that this is the opposite of what you want to happen. She told Joe that she didn’t want to marry him like this because just a few weeks ago he was f*cking up like only Joe can and then all of a sudden he’s trying to marry her because he decided that this is what he wants now and she should realize that he’s a changed man because of this grand sweeping ass gesture.

As opposed to saying “uh huh honey” she was like, “nuh uh girlfriend.” Insert your own flamboyance.

In the moment while livetweeting this travashamockery of a proposal (it did seem a bit staged) I stated this:

I’m going to attempt to place myself in the high-heels, flats, and boots of women everywhere because I completely understand this. In the minds of many men, we think that what all women want is the ring. And not just the ring, but what we feel like it should symbolize. She complains all the time and tries to front me off on all this stuff but she just wants that ring. Yoncé got her out here thinking I don’t really like it because I never put a ring on it. No matter how much I f*ck up or how much I don’t listen, the ring will wash away all that negativity and she’ll understand that I love her and shut the f*ck up with the complaints and the trust issues and all that. [There is a small percentage of women who want the ring bad enough where they think this will actually make things better.]

This is asinine and wrong. I’m a man so I’m about to tell on myself a bit (okay, a lot) here. Allow me quote another individual that isn’t myself:

“I’m a guy. Since when do we get anything right the first time?” – Alex Hitchins , Hitch

I feel like the biggest want from any woman towards her man is effort. Pure, simple effort. Sometimes this takes us a while to get right. But there are those of us who almost never do. But effort.

So what you bombed on a date; did you really try to make her feel special? Did you attempt to show her that you cared enough to think about what she may want to do? Did you plan? All women (yes, ALL) will cut you slack as long as they know you gave it a real shot. Did you say you were going to stop f*cking up? Well, what did you do to show her you meant it and weren’t just handing her wooden nickels? Did you do anything differently? If not, then you put forth no effort. And anybody paying attention will notice. And do you know whose paying attention? Do you? Do you? Why am I asking so many questions? And asking questions twice? And asking questions twice?

Women. The woman who asked you to show and prove is paying attention. That hurts more than the ACTUAL f*ck up that takes place. The lack of consideration and effort to be who you claim you are is what annoys women. This is why grand sweeping gestures fall upon deaf ears. For one, history teaches us than when folks do something huge and outside of the norm they’ve usually done something wrong.

Or b) just don’t get it.

If you’ve said you would do something and haven’t made any changes, proposing isn’t going to get you to that promised land my n*gga. Hell, it begs the question, what do YOU think is the promised land? I can’t even blame a woman for asking a man why he would want to marry her considering recent actions that indicate otherwise. Joe talks a good game. But it’s also his profession. Despite his lack of significant fame he is actually one of the better wordsmiths in the hip-hop game. You can disagree. You will be wrong. Fight me. But talking a good game for nine years becomes transparent. A woman knows what to look for and she probably knows what “giving a f*ck” looks like on your part.

So, what’s going to be different aside from the title? “Wise man once say marriage don’t fix problem. Marriage highlight more problem.” Wise man English no so good.

So while she has all of this going through her head while you’re on bended knee a solid two weeks out of f*cking up major – and yes we major, for real homey, we major – she is thinking about the fact that, this fool thinks that proposing is what I really want.

Newsflash: She doesn’t want to get married. She wants to stay married.

Well she wants to get married too. Let me not even pretend that’s not the case. But when you’ve been through as much sh*t as they have, you actually know what you’re getting in the status quo. And maybe that staus quo isn’t enough. Sure the ring is great, but what comes with that ring? If you’re a man who is constantly f*cking up, what is she really winning aside from a ring?

And while I’m focused on the ring because of the episode that spawned the discussion, the fact is a sweeping gesture is just that. It’s a grand show in the moment. But what happens in the next moments?

I’m aware that all of us menfolks don’t think that making one grand gesture will make up fro all the stuff we don’t do. I’m also aware that you all are aware that most of us are aware that any number of us do exactly what Joe did: come to the realization that he wanted to be with her and figured the best way to show was to propose, never mind the past. To be fair, MANY people – both men and women – wish that their pasts could be stricken from the record, even amidst the situation they’re in. It takes a lot to give somebody a blank slate.

Point is, and this is getting long, and yes, that is what she said, a grand gesture does not a problem fix. It’s a start…but you should never start with a marriage proposal.

Not for nothing, I’ll be surprised if Joe ever proposes again. In a wicked twist of fate and irony, rejecting a wedding proposal that is serious usually deads the relationship. Oh love, you are a wretched unicorn. But it is pretty serious to say that you don’t want to spend your  life with somebody that you do love.

Ladies, am I on message here? Fellas, am I missing something? What’s the verdict on grand gestures?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. YOU DONT WANT TO MARRY ME COOL I’M JUST GONNA CHILL OVER HERE AND EAT RAVIOLI aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

A Recap of The First Episode of Love & Hip-Hop: Atlanta

Let me just say upfront, Rodney King did not die for Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta to exist and set…something or somebody back…at least 2,000 years. But that happened. So I figured the least I could do is discuss things that stood out about what could quite possibly be the worst thing to happen to Black culture since cigarillos and Chief Keef. What follows is my chronological recap that didn’t happen minute-by-minute but over time of the first episode of Love & HipHop Atlanta.

-Five minutes into this show and I’m already over the Blackness. So, Sleazy J aka Stevie J buys his woman a house in the sticks only to tell her that he needs to “get this money” – a phrase that has likely done more damage to the Black community than ‘pimps up, hoes down’. She’s been with him for over 15 years. These ninjas have some seriously long term relationships. They should stop that.

-And Lil Scrappy is this seasons…Fabolous? That’s not a compliment by the way. Scrappy is not a celebrity by the way. At least not really outside of I-285. By the way, in the legion of Black women’s names, why is Erica/Erika/Ericka so damn popular. Why are there so many black women named Erica? I need a Congressional commision on this.

-Who in the F*CK is this K. Michelle broad? Sure she can sing, but why should she be actively involved in my life is what I’m asking. Interestingly enough, if you were to do a study on “hood chicks that can sing”, I’m fairly certain we could populate Israel or one of those other random ass countries in the Middle East and get the whole Greek drachma situation settled. Does that make any sense whatsoever? No. None at all. But that’s whats happened thus far since I’ve been watching this show. Despite the fact that nothing totally ratchet has happened, I’m all of a sudden feeling less…educated. And these people are in my city. I think I’m in DC for the long haul folks.

-Less than 20 minutes in and we already have tears of “you deserve better” courtesy of the best friend Ariane. She’s definitely A-town with her big ass “A” necklace. I don’t think we Atlantans think that other people understand our lingo since so many folks get their names tatted or necklaced all over the place. Oh yeah…the crying best friend. Over it.

-So let me get this right, Stevie J is a pimp? What part of the game is that. Oh, apparently he f*cks this chick Joseline’s brain. That’s new. Go Stevie. When the f*ck did Stevie J become “that n*gga”? Do ANY women reading even know who he is outside of Eve?  This is a problem for me. Mostly because I feel like Puffy is laughing his arse off while he cashes checks for work Stevie J used to do.

-Can we put a moratorium on cracked out mommas receiving airtime please? Seriously people. White people are watching. This is not looking good for us. Lil Scrappy, I’m looking at you and your momma.

-So, these chicks out here apparently have a rough time. K.Michelle, I feel you boo. The Clipse weren’t f*cking with Jive either remember? “…we’re sorry to the fans but them crackas wasn’t playing fair at Jive…” <—- we know the deal boo.

-Yo, I forgot how loud Black folks are in Atlanta. Momma Dee and Erica are so ATL, I almost shed a tear and got homesick. Until I realized that I might run into them ninjas. Again, I’m good in DC. By the way, if I found out that my momma was a pimp, I’d probably go and find Jesus again. Real spit.

-I’m struggling with Stevie J being considered the “pimp-player”. I really am. This is the MOST relevant he’s been since the 90s. They scraped the bottom of the barrel for this show.

-Women are stupid. Mimi needs to get her life together. This just proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that some women just refuse to accept that the man they chose isn’t good for them. Some of you all would rather be wrong forever than admit that you made a mistake. Mimi is living proof. Word to Lil Dap.

-Okay, this meeting with Karlie Reed, Josaline, Stevie J and Antonio Reed is exactly why everybody thinks that the music industry is a sham. These ninjas are…I hope that every kid watching realizes that they need to to got college. That’s all I’m going to say. Viva la college.

-Is this chick K. Michelle wearing Ewoks on her feet? I have a problem with this.

- I have a homeboy who thinks that Soul Plane set Black people like 100 years. That’s blatantly not true. But just in this first episode of Love and HipHop Atlanta, I feel like we may have lost at least 12 years. Yes, this episode took us back to 2000.

-So Stevie J might be the STUPIDEST man on the planet. He brings his jumpoff around his baby mama, tries to play the baby mama, ONLY to piss off his jumpoff at the same time who is trying to stay in her lane but catching feelings like STDs at a Lenny Kravitz concert.

-Yo, where the f*ck is this broad Joseline from? And why can’t she say “fur”? This perplexes me. I’d like to apologize to you all for watching this and subjecting to you this recap. But it’s been as hard for me as it was for anybody reading this.

-Fellas, word to big bird, if you EVER have the choice to make between your girl and the jumpoff/artist you’re working with RIGHT after an argument with your girl happens…ALWAYS tend to home, my n*gga. ALWAYS tend to home first. I may not be perfect, but that’s one mistake I know I’d NEVER make.

This ends this recap. I will never do this again. This was painful. I’m sorry. Love and Hip-Hop Atlanta might be too much for me to ever watch again. I never knew a true definition of the word “ratchet” until I watched this show. I’m done.

Love and Hip-Hop Atlanta, you broke Panama Jackson.

Annnnnnnd I’m spent.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. MAAAAAMA NOOOOOOOOOOOO aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

 

 

 

Basic B*tch Levelology

Basic B*tch Olympic Time Trials - LaceFront Alter

*It’s not lost on me that I just wrote a post about Common calling women b*tches and then here I go writing a post that uses the word “b*tch” in the title. My only defense here is that I didn’t come up with the most perfect term to describe these women in these scenarios. I’m not enlightened and I think “Come Close” was p*ssy pandering. If you do have beef, forward all mail to here.*

Let me say upfront that I HATE everybody on Love & Hip Hop. I cannot stress this enough. My skin crawls when Chrissy tries to make people chose between her loyalty, their sanity, and deciding whether or not she’s a mole. Get it? Never mind.

Yandy’s name is Yandy. And I’m fairly certain that there isn’t a white person alive short of her mother who even acknowledges that Kimbella is halfsies. You know what, who cares. They drive us all crazy. Olivia is the only person I even kind of like and that’s because I’m totally jealous of her complexion. *squeal*

But despite my consistent protestations, the “stay classy San Diego” women of Love & Hip Hop constantly bring up one point that I think is important when discussing hoodratology and, well, basic b*tches: levels.

Chrissy eloquently stated that Yandy wasn’t on her level. Erica stated that Kimbella wasn’t on her level either. What level? F*ck if I know, but apparently these levels exist because these basic broads teach me so. Since I don’t really know what the levels are (though I know you can never get on my level WHAT get on my level WHAT), I figured that I’d use the women on the show to venture a guess as to what the levels are. Creep me with me as I roll through the hood of basic b*tches.

Ride or Die Until The Wheels Fall Off Level – When Chrissy said that Yandy wasn’t on her level, I can only assume this is the level she meant. That stay-for-7-hope-for-30-more level. Turns out she comes from a family of these types of ninjas since her aunt also proposed to her uncle. Those chicks either have control issues or are extremely patiently impatient. Now, a lot of the women on this show fit this category. Olivia is riding or dying with her career, which must be wearing a condom since she can’t really bust out. Emily is riding or dying with Fabolous, who we aren’t sure knows who she is, and then there’s Kimbella. And that’s all I’ll say about that. This isn’t the worst level, and is the most common from basic b*tch to PhD in biomedical physiological aquatic basket masseuse.

I Obviously F*cked Your Man Which Is Why I Am So Hung Up On This Mess Even Though I Need To Let It Go Level – Hi Yandy. Word to big bird, you are waaaaay to emotionally invested here. I used to think that Chrissy was tripping but now I just think that you really believe Jimmy (I love calling him Jimmy) actually should chose you over the woman he  has decided to marry despite common sense that dictates that would never happen. What a dolt. Yandy, you stupid.

I’m At The Bottom Rung And Can’t Understand Why I Can’t Rise Like Maya Angelou Level - Kimbella might be the most curious case of delusion ever. I can honestly say that I don’t understand her because she brings nothing to the table, takes everything from it, and always seems to think that she’s being done wrong. Now I will say that Erica, the really ugly pretty basic b*tch, has a bigger grudge than Kobe Bryant in Phoenix, but damn. You really gonna run up on Erica at her birthday party with Somaya “Ray Lewis Shoulders” Reese and think you ain’t gonna get swung on?

I’m Only A Video Ho And Don’t Realize That Barack Obama Doesn’t Know Me Level - This is Erica all day. I wish somebody would slap her with the winds of change and a 20-inch Sumitomo tire. The fact that she ACTUALLY views Kimbella as having brought down her property value makes me think she failed out of 5th grade. Hey Erica boo, both of y’all ninjas have list prices of about $1,000. I checked the MLS listings. Nobody cares about you booboo. And your boobs are way too big for your body. Oh, and your singing sounds like a motherf*cking praying mantis struggling to eat her husband.

All For Nothing Level - I keep forgetting Teairra Mari is on this show. I just pulled up “Sponsor” on YouTube. I love this song. Anyway, she perplexes me. She can sing. She’s banging. She’s still young. Yet, she’s as much of a non-motherf*cking factor as one can be. She might be the poster child for non-motherf*cking factors. If Obama picked a director for his new National Office of Non-Motherf*cking Factors he’d almost have to pick her right? She’d be the list. Her and Ameriie should start a group together. They could call it We Give Good Face. Point is, she not only needs a sponsor, she needs better management. And I don’t mean Rich Dollaz.

By the way, does anybody else remember Teairra Mari’s song “No Daddy”. It’s quite possible that it’s one of the worst songs of all time. No disclaimer. No joke.

Anyway, I bring this to you all, what are the different levels that basic b*tches are referring to when they tell other basic b*tches that they aren’t on their level? Let us educate the masses today. For I have no clue what they’re talking about.

Basically, I just know that you ain’t on my level.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. GET ON MY LEVEL HO aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Love & Hip Hop and The Proposal

Beware, there are a lot of strong faces in this picture.

You know how women tend to map out their weddings? Even the most hardened, thugged out, stabbin’ ninja woman has some vision of her wedding. And the proposal? Yeah, they all have an idea of what they’d like it to look like. Sure reality and fantasy may never collide but the idea, the hope, is always there. And I’d bet double or nothing that Chrissy’s ideal proposal looked nothing like the pisspoor one that Jim Jones gave to her on the last episode of vh1′s academic and rigorously brain teasing show, Love & Hip-Hop.

If you know Black people. There’s a solid chance that 78.5% of them all watch Love & Hip-Hop every Monday night. That number includes 100% of video hoes as they all view the show as comeup central.

I’m half surprised that Jim didn’t just throw the box at her and say, “gotcha b*tch. Happy now?” I’m being hyperbolic but he didn’t even kneel down. And he tried to play this cool, detached, somewhat pissed role cum captain save-a-ho at the end with the sweet gangsta thing that went terribly wrong. And do you know why? It’s impossible to be hardcore when proposing to a woman. It’s one of the moments in a man’s life when he’s truly vulnerable. It’s like putting up a Christmas tree. It is completely ungangsta to put up a Christmas tree. You ever seen a jolly thug? Some random ninja with a Santa hat and a .45 tucked into his waistband while laying tinsel every so gently on a fir? Smiling? While sipping on some eggnog and eating oatmeal raisin cookies? Exactly. Let the thug go. Jimmy…couldn’t do it. He basically handed her a box, said “do you want to marry me?” and then feel proud of himself for giving her what she wanted. Except the whole time he didn’t even really look like he wanted to be there.

Except…she didn’t care because she’s been waiting for that ring for some seven years so she was just happy to get it. Except now what? Except, right. Which begs the question here, does the proposal matter that much?

I’m only asking because if you’ve been waiting for seven years (or three or four, or whenever she proposed to him) to the point that you keep grandstanding, talking about leaving and having your oddlyfaced friends help you pack up stuff from a house that you really don’t want to leave with a life you don’t want to give up, do you even care how he does it? Or are you just happy that he does it. And I’m inclined to believe that Jimmy wasn’t trying to give a dbag proposal. He just didn’t know how to pull off thugged out and vulnerable man at the same time. And real talk, calling it a dbag proposal might be overstating.

Which brings me to some more overstatements: Love & Hip-Hop is one ridiculous ass show. So Jim Jones proposal makes perfect sense. We have one of the most unattractive attractive women on the planet in Emily, a woman who’s been chasing Fabolous since before he could misspell it seems. And she just can’t get it right. Then there’s Olivia. Bless her heart. You may remember her…actually,  you probably don’t remember her at all. First she tried to get us to “Bizzounce” years ago and we didn’t. Then 50 Cent tried to convince us that she had star power…DURING HIS HEYDAY. Think about that. Even when 50 Cent was on TOP of the game he couldn’t convince us to care about her.

This from a man who made Tony Yayo relevant. Again, think about that. Kimbella, oh Kimbella. I’m sure she’s hot. I’m sure I don’t find her hot. Maybe its because she annoys me so much. Though not as much as Teairra Mari who for the life of me has contributed nothing to the world aside from a great rack and the song “Sponsor” featuring Gucci Mane, which, I actually loved. But on this show…pointless.

Yandy? She mildly amuses me but only because she’s just somebody else who latched on to the Jim Jones bandwagon. Nancy, love her. But I tend to like crackheads. And then there’s Chrissy.

I cannot stand her. Many women I know love her no-nonsense attitude….except when it comes to Jimmy. Honestly, if it wasn’t for all of her instigating and fighting, I’d hate her more. But alas, she keeps bringing the gun to the knifefight so she does possess value.

Look, the show blows. There’s too much boohooing over men that don’t want them and then too many talentless women attempting to be somebody in the world. There’s really no reason for this show to exist.

But at the end of the day, Love & Hip-Hop makes me realize that despite the fact that I’m not rich, apparently me and Jim Jones could live in the same neighborhood since there seem to be a plethora of tiny ass houses right next door to him. (Seriously, did homeboy have his house built in a neighborhood full of 2 bedroom homes?) The problems that these broads have are not unlike everybody else’s problems except they’re potentially more ridiculous because all of their fame is due to the men they’re associated with. I find it so interesting how many women love these shows considering how they fly in the face of nearly everything women get so pissed at men for saying.

These women are the living embodiment of a Tyler Perry movie without a script but women tune in every Monday with reckless abandon. THEN talk sh*t about the terrible Tyler Perry movies and how they do a disservice to women everywhere. Okay. Alright.

What’s the draw? I don’t know. But the next time any of y’all who love these shows tell me Tyler Perry is selling us out…I’m going to throw my show at you or one of those bottles Kimbella threw at Erica Mena. And then I’ll have Chrissy yank your lacefront.

So real talk…why the hell do people love these shows so much? Don’t tell me the drama…it can’t be that simple? And speaking of the proposal to Chrissy, does it matter or is the fact that it happens that much more significant in general?

Talk to me…what’s with the love for Love & Hip-Hop?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3