a running joke with panama and i is that i’m a diplomat. not in the jimmy carter or freaky zeeky sense, but the guy who always tries to play the mediator, extinguishing proverbial fires whenever needed (if p’s the yin to my yang, i guess this would make him the arsonist. or not. damn. this worked much better in my head. forget i even said it.).

depending on your point of view, this can be described as either “grounded” and “level-headed” or “non-confrontational” and “passive-aggressive”. in theory, relationship-wise, this should be a great quality for someone to possess. who wouldn’t want to be with a person they know probably isn’t going to argue, is basically always optimistic, and will always attempt to find the most practical solution in any situation, right?

well, if you informally polled each woman that i’ve been at least somewhat seriously involved with, they’d probably all say that this (along with the “night whispers”) was easily their least favorite part of me. the same ingredient in my blood that allows me to be “diplomatic” can be a serious relationship irritant

i’m the guy who seriously might just fall asleep while my girl is having a “passionate” and “intense” discussion with me in bed.

i’m the guy who strongly feels that if someone is able to make me show emotion, i’ve lost  (admittedly though, i have no idea what would represent “winning” in this case).

i’m the guy who’s heard some variant of “you know, i had no idea you we’re even attracted to me, at least until after we had sex on your parents porch” at least 10 different times.

i’m the guy who’s broken up seemingly out of nowhere with at least two different people after getting finally fed up with issues that i could have very easily nipped in the bud, but instead chose to stick my head in the proverbial sand and ignore em, thinking they would go away.

this is a part of me that i’m consciously trying to work on, the biggest personal quality that i currently take off the table

so, grown and slutty sexy people of vsb.com, on your relationship resumes, which attributes would you list in the “negatives“,  “work in progress“, or “damn…i’m f*cking nuts” column? don’t be shy or scurred. we’re all family here and sh*t

—the champ