Man, That’s Some Stalker Sh*t

Faith??!!!! Faith!!!?????????!

If you ask anybody who has ever been accused of stalking if they were, indeed, a stalker, they’ll immediately look at you as if you’ve got three breasts (whether you are a man or a woman) and tell you that they aren’t stalkers…they were just on a quest for the truth!

See stalkers aren’t really bad people. No. They’re created by the people that they, ya know, stalk. See all stalkers are actually just normal individuals who have been wronged or done dirty in some capacity. They are people who would be just happy to live normal everyday lives, but no, they came into contact with people who caused their inner investigator to erupt.

By the way, I don’t buy any of that. If you’re the type of person who engages in crazy behavior, its just who you are. I don’t give a f*ck if you think that its somebody else’s fault that you’ve been reduced to such. Grow the f*ck up and take some accountability for your own f*cksh*t, jackwagon.

Anyway, there are two different types of stalking. There is the stalking done by men and the stalking down by women.

Let’s explore the male stalkers first. My guess – and this is purely based on my opinion – is that men who are stalkers are far more likely to engage in actual illegal activities. You know, blatant harassment and intimidation…ya know, textbook stalker sh*t. Like a man will be waiting outside your house with one of those Stevie J faces on and rubbing his hands talking about a damn bus. You know, the type of sh*t that makes you not only want to call the police but start packing a gun. A male stalker will send you flowers to tell you that he loves you…every day of the week including Sundays and cause everybody else around you to fear for their own lives. A male stalker will likely get you fired. Because male stalkers are criminals in wait, just waiting for a reason to actually try out prison.

Yes, I’m inclined to believe that a male stalker is actually the kind that will stab you to death. Oh, and why is he stalking? I forgot that part all together. He doesn’t believe that you were where you said you were going to be or that you were with who you said you were with so he scares the f*ck out of you THEN tries to let you know he loves you through random gestures RIGHT before he scares the f*ck out of you again.

A male stalkers truth is proving what he believes, that he can’t trust you.

Then we move to the more cunning of the stalker kingdom – the female stalker. I’ll never believe that men or women are any smarter than the other. However, when it comes to cunning and vindictiveness, well, you cannot underestimate a woman “scorned”. For instance, women will dance all over the inappropriate line and crip walk really close to the illegal line but never really quite get there. Well, not until they are ready to take their stalker game to the Lifetime Channel. Basically, see A Thin Line Between Love and Hate. Women will search out every legal means that they can take to find out whatever they can. They’ll be all up in your social media and get their friends involved who somehow think that all of it makes sense. Women aren’t as likely to sit outside and wait at your front door (though in some cases they will) because they do fear the police and at least realize that the police can get involved (a fear that men don’t seem to have…we dumb).

And why do female stalkers exist? Well, simply because women need to know what happened because there has to be an answer. It can’t merely be the dude just sucks, there has to be some reason that the dude sucks to her in particular. Women believe in aggressive discovery in hopes of finding the truth. And if there’s room for some revenge in there then perhaps (depending on how much she actually has to lose in life) she may partake.

See, stalkers, both male and female are under the tremendous pressure of understanding and attempting to ensure that they are not without information. It’s the reason why people go through great lengths (and often insane from the outside looking in) for peace of mind. Which must be irony considering that the peace of mind of a stalker relies heavily on the complete disruption of another person’s life.

At the end of the day, and with that being said, stalking is bad. But those who stalk are people just like everybody else and aren’t necessarily bad. Misguided? Perhaps, but mostly people who have been placed at an information disadvantage. It’s not stalking. It’s aggressive discovery of the truth.

Yeah, okay.

Anyway, since we’ve all (and I do mean damn near everybody) has had some experience with somebody doing some level (mild = random text messages to extreme = showing up at your door and sh*t) of stalking, what are the main differences between men and women when it comes to our stalker game? And who is better and more effective, men or women and why?


For the DMVers: This Saturday in DC is a big day! First, it’s the Morehouse vs. Howard Reunion Classic Football Game where the Maroon Tigers of Morehouse face off against the Bison of Howard. And later that night is REMINISCE!!! It’s a game-afterparty BUT it’s also our one year anniversary! We’re gonna do some fun customer appreciation things and still keep up the good times. It’s FREE before 11pm with RSVP, with an open bar from 930 to 1030, and there’s no dress code!! Come party like its 1999 with VSB P and hopefully Champ as well. This party promises to be a good one!!! Come thru and hang with the kids! RSVP for free entry @



The VSB Files–Episode 005: Montana Fishburne, Kanye West, & Intimidating Women

What’s up everybody!

We’ve decided to bless you with another episode of the VSB Files. Join Panama Jackson, The Champ and Liz as we talk a little bit about what’s on our minds. Some thangs we cover in this episode: Continue reading