A Good Problem?

Posted on 04/11/2011 by The Champ

Last week, while on Twitter and thinking of unique ways to plug our book (Just did it again!), I happened to see “Skylar Diggins” — a sophomore point guard at Notre Dame — among the trending topics. Now, Diggins had just led Notre Dame to a victory over the UConn women, an earth-shattering upset along the lines of “Jermaine Dupri just bagged Janet Jackson!!!“, but her athletic prowess was only part of the reason for the attention she was receiving.�

You see, Diggins is quite possibly the best looking high-level female athlete…ever (Yes. Ever. Anyone else you’d name — Swin Cash, Serena Williams, Marion Jones, Candice Parker, Laila Ali, etc — would fall short. She’s the Kenya Moore/Esther Baxter hybrid to everyone else’s everyone else.), and this extra attention was due to the myriad ways people (and by “people” I mean “black men”) acknowledged this fact through words, tweets, blogs, and even song (Seriously!)

But, along with the hundreds of thousands of different n*ggas who’d offered to impregnate and/or marry her via the internet, something else happened: People actually watched her play.

Men (and women) who were usually more excited by kidney stones and stink bugs with syphilis than the idea of women’s college basketball tuned in to watch Notre Dame play in the championship against Texas A&M. And, those who watched the entire game saw a contest that was much, much, much more entertaining than the sh*tfest the Butler and UConn men produced the night before�, and probably left appreciating women’s basketball a bit more than they did before.

Now, not everybody was pleased with the type of attention Diggins received, and a couple paragraphs from an email exchange between Zerlina Maxwell of The Loop 21 and I helps explain exactly why.

“I still just don’t feel comfortable with women (it’s usually women even though you were correct to point out that at times it occurs with men) getting all that attention primarily because of their looks.� That’s just troubling and it’s not only in sports…
…But the fact that jokers were on twitter going on and on and on about how pretty Skylar is and what not�with the rare mention of the fact that she is good at the game is just frustrating.”

(In an earlier email, Maxwell also brought up the point that any aesthetic-based interest would be fleeting. Basically, anyone watching just to see if Diggins was hot probably wouldn’t watch again. While this is true, I replied that all attention, even fleeting and/or superficial attention, is better than none. )

Now, (obviously) I think this — people watching just because they think a particular player is attractive — is a good “problem” to have. Even if you take sports out of the equation, I don’t think it’s a bad thing if a person’s looks gets them an opportunity or opens a door that may have been locked otherwise. In this sense, the end justifies the means. But, (although unlikely) I realize that I could be wrong, and I’m curious what you think.

People of VSB.com, Is all attention good if it leads to a desired result? Does it really matter if the only reason you got into your dream law firm is because one of the partners wanted to hit it during your interview? I mean, as long as you get in (and he, um, doesn’t) right?

The carpet is yours.

�I actually first noticed Diggins a couple years ago while flicking through channels on a lazy Sunday. I came across an ESPN documentary centered on a high school basketball tournament featuring many of the top boys and girls teams in the country. Although several different teams were profiled, two in particular were showcased: An Atlanta-area boys team starring eventual NBA lottery pick Derrick Favors, and a girls team from Indiana starring an athlete whose presence on-screen immediately produced two thoughts in my head:
A) She might be the best looking female athlete I’ve ever seen
B) Um, you do realize she’s in high school, right? Settle down, Champ Kelly.
After remembering that my open living room window gave God a clear shot to watch me a bit too interested in the aesthetic attributes of an 18 year old girl, I tried to convince myself that she was in fact a 27 year old undercover cop masquerading as a high school basketball player to bust an intercontinental crystal meth ring. It didn’t work.
�I was thisclose to saying that the Butler/UConn championship game was the single most disturbing, disgusting, and depressing thing I’ve ever watched, but I just remembered that an unexplained bout of curiosity and stupidity caused me to watch “The Human Centipede” Saturday night. Now, the Butler/UConn championship game is only the second most disturbing, disgusting, and depressing thing I’ve ever watched.

—The Champ

Your Degrees Wont Keep You Warm at Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide to Dating, Mating, and Fighting Crime is now available on Kindle for $9.99

nttawwt: the vsb spectrum of gay things that straight men regularly do

Posted on 07/28/2009 by The Champ

443

Rockets Lakers Basketball

“yeah, i walked in the shower. i’m not a homosexual or nothing like that, but kobe had no clothes on.”
—ron artest

as camfra� continues to prove, many straight men frequently and happily partake in behavior more suspect than conrad murray. while we don’t actually acknowledge these acts as being gay, rest assured, there’s some sh*t we do that’s gayer than christmas morning.

thing is, all straight acts of gayness aren’t created equal. there’s a distinct difference between bruno (very gay) and a bare-chested barroom brawl (slightly less gay, but still very gay).

today, as a service from verysmartbrothas.com, the champ has created a straight men’s gayness gauge, a useful ledger to let you know exactly what percentage of gayness each act entails. enjoy and sh*t. Continue reading →

link of the week: the art of war

Posted on 09/18/2008 by The Champ

486

Attempted murder suspect, victim were romantic rivals
An arrest warrant was issued for Valerie Walls, 27, suspected of assaulting a 29-year-old San Bernardino County woman between 7 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. Tuesday.
The victim suffered deep slicing wounds to her upper torso area and she lost a lot of blood, Desert Hot Springs Det. Sgt. Radames Gil said Wednesday. The victim was able to get to the K-Mart store, where she sought help and authorities were called, Gil said.
Walls and the victim were romantically involved with the same person, Gil added

we all do it. whether conscious or not, every second of every day we spend on earth we’re doing it. you did it with millions of other sperm twenty six years ago in the back room of your mom’s shanty, when that pint of md 20/20 convinced her to finally let her uncle’s leadfoots jenkins squirt his “kind milk” inside of her. as a toddler, you did it with your dad for your mom’s attention, at least until you grew older and focused your energy on your siblings. you did it for a spot in that college you’re still paying off loans for, along with that job that allows you to spend three hours a day on vsb, and that apartment you lay your head in every night, dreaming about the champ of ways to do it better. shit, that air you’re breathing? you’re doing it with trillions of other organisms for that as well.

we can’t help doing it, even if we do want to. competing is in our nature, as fundamental to humanity as oxygen and stacey dash.

this everlasting competition extends to the dating arena. each of us are equal parts free agent and general manager, constantly evaluating, being evaluated, and battling for spots on the right team. with more intense focus than kobe in a snizzles anus the 4th quarter, we’re as cutthroat as anton chigurh. we lie. we cajole. we run game. we rock wonderwaterbras and subtlely twirl our benz keys while we’re walking in the mall. we sabotage. we throw salt. we’re subtle, tactless, implicit, and direct. we start trojan wars, and gleefully shank boat ninjas outside of kmarts.

a couple questions, good people of vsb.com:

1. in regards to romance, how do you compete? (notice, i’m not asking “if” you compete, because everyone does. stop lying to yourself. you aint special and sh*t)

2. has there ever been a situation where you’ve openly competed, or have been openly competed for?

3. have you ever been shanked outside of a kmart?

remember, we’re all fam here. just me and roughly twenty-five hundred of your closest friends. dont be scurred to tell the truth and sh*t.

—the champ