four completely practical and non-racist reasons why i never have and most likely never will date a white woman

this was so unexpected, jamal. how did you know i always wanted the 'good times' dvd boxset?
this was so unexpected, jamal. how did you know i always wanted the ‘good times’ dvd boxset?

6.  as of monday, november 30th, 2009, i’ve officially filed “since i’m not a billionaire, i don’t think i’d have any chance of getting the benefit of the doubt if any random legal mess occurred” as reason #137 on the champ’s list of “137 completely practical and non-racist reasons why i never have and most likely never will date a white woman

—the last random thought listed in yesterdays ‘six things i’ve thought about tiger woods, elin nordegren, and golfgate’.

although the tone of my writing might occasionally paint a different picture, i actually don’t dislike white women at all, and i really appreciate a few of their unique talents.

they gave us natalie portman and the best teacher i ever had (r.i.p., sister roberta). they also usually make for great senators, copy-editors, and baristas, and no one is better at running “corporate game” (the ability to use office politics and mores to their benefit) than a professional white woman. in fact, some of my best friends have friends who know people who have married them.

despite this, i wasn’t using any hyperbole yesterday when i mentioned having “137 completely practical and non-racist reasons why i never have and most likely never will date one”. although actually having 137 reasons why you havent dated someone of a different race seemingly contradicts the whole “non-racist” thing, this list is comprised of more personal quirks and odd idiosyncrasies than anything else

while time and space and liz prevent me from naming all 137, i’ve decided to share four of them today. Continue reading