Tag Archives: Shaq

Shaq Got a #doctorit And All I Got Was This T-Shirt

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The Big Ph.D.

So why for come ain’t nobody not tell me that Shaquille O’Neal got a Ph.D. in some Ph.D. sh*t from Barry University?

By the way, that last sentence was brought to you by publicly funded education.

So the homey Cheekie sends me an email talking about Shaq getting his Ph.D. last weekend and I immediately hit her with the virtual Chris from Family Guy, “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?”

Let me tell you something. That made me smile. Big and wide. Kind of how I like my white women. With there being so much drama in the LBC, you rarely hear stories about athletes making vast educational achievements. Turns out, the Big Aristotle also has an MBA. Sure its from the University of Phoenix-Online, but hell, do YOU have an MBA…from anywhere? (If you do just shut up and sit there silently as to not destroy my point. Thanks. — Management)

I feel like its very to easy to read article after article about low graduation rates from college for athletes. Especially basketball playing (read ninja-like) athletes. But I’m fairly certain that if it wasn’t for Twitter, I wouldn’t know about Shaq getting a Ph.D. (from Barry University in Miami) in leadership and education with a concentration on human resource development. What does that mean? I don’t know. But I’ll bet the other folks with Ph.D.s in that know.

I feel like stories such as this one should be well reported everywhere. I remember some years ago when Vince Carter decided to possibly miss a playoff game to go to his graduation from UNC. People were in an uproar. How could he not be devoted to his teammates at such a pivotal time. Vince Carter was like, “dude, this is my life. You go to college to walk across the stage and graduate, and that’s what I’m going to do.” I couldn’t be mad at him or blame him. The NBA, is his job. Getting an education is a life goal that so many of us have and that achievement gets acknowledge by walking across the stage so that friends and family can witness what was such a lofty goal for so many of our ancestors.

I also remember some years ago when Myron Rolle, from Florida State, ended up becoming a Rhodes Scholar and decided to go to Oxford for a year and pasing up the NFL draft to get a Master’s degree first. His coaches, some players, and analysts thought he had lost his damn mind, but he was very focused on his education and getting to his ultimate goal of becoming a doctor. He plays in the NFL now. And is well on his way. Hell his Wikipedia page might be the most interesting athlete page ever.

I did a google search trying to find out how many professional athletes have graduate degrees (or hell degrees period) and couldn’t find anything. But if I wanted to know which school didn’t graduate the most athletes I’m sure that’s available (my guess is Kentucky). And this isn’t a race thing. Athletes, especially, professional athletes get credited as being dumb jocks a lot but the truth is that a lot of them (not all, obviously not all) do value getting an education. And finish those degrees. It’s just some rich white man was willing to pay them millions of dollars to hold a ball. I remember telling my father that if I had a chance to play professionally, I’d finish college first and my father looked at me like I was crazy. He said if somebody’s willing to pay you for that, school isn’t going anywhere. So the incentive to roll out is substantial.

But numbers of these guys go back and finish their degrees. Which is why hearing that Shaq has a Ph.D. is such a great story to me. I don’t even know him and I’m proud of him. He knows the value of an education and kept at it. You go Shaq.

I think I wrote all that to just say, “you go Shaq!”

Yay.

So, happy Friday! Um…isn’t that great?

By the way, I do realize the inherent “low standardism” that I displayed by being excited that an athlete actually got a degree. Maybe that says a lot about me. Maybe that says a lot about how I view athletes. N.E.R.D. has a song called “Maybe”.

*takes ball and goes home*

The floor is yours.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. TAKES BALL AND GOES HOME aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Also, I feel like I should introduce for those who haven’t been, an interesting webseries that I’m sure all of you cubicle-n*ggas can understand and relate too: The Unwritten Rules. Peep the trailer then go check out the two episodes. It’s worth the watch.

Just In Case You Were Wondering…It’s True

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I thought he was lying when he said he slept with my momma.

 

Contrary to what academics and hood philosophers may tell you, the need for truth can be a very fluid concept. While there are those who will tell you that the search for truth and the sharing of such knowledge is paramount to a worthwhile existence, the fact is…

…those motherf*ckers are single.

In relationships, what constitutes truth varies like the panties a woman owns. What was true on Monday might not be true on Thursday. Truth is ultimately determined by the receiver of such knowledge. One might mistake truth for opinion but truth is in the eye of the beholder or some such sh*t. But people swear they want the truth. But you can’t handle the truth. You also can’t stop the reign. Shaq. Is it befuddling to anybody else but me that Shaquille O’Neal has FIVE platinum albums?

You read that right.

Well, there are certain truths that I get the impression that most women either are curious about or refuse to acknowledge. So what the hell, its Friday, I ain’t got not job (that’s not true), and I ain’t got sh*t else to do (also not true, as I’m writing this I’m filing my taxes, trying not to leave any children behind, and balancing the US budget…public debt my arse). Let’s lay out some truths for all those suckas that don’t know. Check it out. And by the way? Some of them try to rhyme, but they can’t rhyme like this. Some of them try to rhyme, but they can’t.

1. Yes, we’ve thought about sleeping with your homegirls.

Assuming of course they’re attractive. But if you have a good lookin’ homegirl, there’s at least a 100 percent chance that we’ve thought about what it would be like to hit them off at least once. And if wasn’t for “society” and its insistence on “morals” and “right vs wrong” we’d probably have at least attempted to hit on them. But you’d get all in your feelings and we’d start arguing, etc.

2. Yes, we’ve questioned (at least once) whether or not we’re dating the right person.

Especially after we meet your homegirl who seems to be the exact thing we’re looking for from her appearance down to her amazing appreciation for underground hip-hop and basketball stats. Oh, and let’s not forget that she’s fine. Thing is, you all are all crazy so it’s the evil we know versus the evil we don’t know. Plus we’re dating you, if we roll out on you and strike out with her then we’re down two chicks. We’re statisticians at heart.

3. Yes, we believe that a chick getting good schlong automatically has a better disposition or rather, what’s wrong with every evil woman out there is that she ain’t getting any.

It’s a general assumption that an evil heffa of a woman is merely an evil heffa of a woman because she can’t get a man to love her down. She’s not ready for the world because she’s angry. But you add a man into her world that’s giving her some regular booty do, well, it just seems like those women are happier and less prone to male ego murder, emasculation, and all around doucheiness. Oh, and this one is true because really, it just is true.

4. We don’t really need you, we just really like having you around.

Women seem to have this thing about being needed. Okay. Alright. I’m a grown arse man, what do I need anybody for? I want you to be around because I like to hug and kiss on you and watch you walk away nude. It’s a great release. But if you’re not around, somehow, I’ll make due. I did so before you showed up, I’ll do so if you leave. But I’ll tell you that I need you when you ask (which you will do) because you need to hear that I need you or else you can’t understand why you’re there. LL needed love. All Marques Houston needs is you. All I need in this world of sin, is me and my girlfriend. And if you don’t know, now you know.

5. Yes, we think you’re difficult, but the argument to explain to you how and why ain’t worth it.

Because generally, it’s in one ear and out the other. You know and we know it. You just won’t admit it in public forum.

Mantruths. Mantronix.

Those are but a few man truths.

To everybody on VSB, both man and woman, what are some other truths out there worth mentioning?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

ATTENTION: We’ve changed our Twitter account name, we’ve introduced Very Smart Singles (it’s coming, we promise) and now we’re bring you the first Annual National VSB Day. Yes, we’re kicking off the year with a nationwide network of coinciding events on February 10, 2011. We’re looking to have VSBs and VSSs around the nation host a meet-and-greet happy hour where like-minded individuals can meet up and kick it old school on that evening. We’ve set up a page where we need to get information from you all so we can create our mailing lists. Also, we need individuals to be the “lead” in the cities for organizational purposes. So go check out the page, sign up and get us your information, let us know a few things and then we’ll go from there. But February 10, 2011 is the day. National VSB Day b*tches. You ready? Cuz we are.

sadie’s suspect: four reasons why women shouldn’t pursue men

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sadie hawkins day

i realize most guys will call me nuts for publicly admitting this, and that there’s no bigger ego boost than getting propositioned by an attractive and sober woman.

i understand these sentiments, because i feel the exact same way, lol.

still, personal selfishness aside, i’ve always believed that women shouldn’t attempt to “bag” men, and i’ll give you four reasons why. Continue reading →

Mommas and The Poppas

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You know, I used to say that I refused to date a(nother) woman with “daddy issues.” Though difficult to define, “daddy issues” are as easy to spot as Shaquille O’Neal in a swarm of midget Spanish ninjas. Or porn. With absentee fatherism and all around Blackness at an all time high, the complaints of neglect or the constant testing to prove one’s love linger as remnants of a past failed parental relationship surface.

Something I’ve learned, however, is that even women with fathers who are present and accounted for in their lives still manage to have these “daddy issues”. This has always confused me as I’d assumed that women with present fathers just had to be more balanced and more emotionally stable than those without. Right? Right?

Wrong. Who knew? And here I thought relationships in the Black community were going the way of the condor because of rap music. Who knew that parenting had as much to do with one’s development as hip-hop. Damn you LL.

But I digress.

Apparently fathers have been wreaking havoc on relationships for eons. And unless Obama wins the Presidency, will probably continue to do so.

And let’s be clear here, I’m well aware that many men out there are screwed up when it comes to relationships. And a large part of it is the lack of a positive male-female example. Many men don’t know how to treat women and its because there was nobody to actually show them (us) what to do. Men have both mommy and daddy issues. Hell, the whole concept of being a mama’s boy is a “mommy issue”. If your mother becomes your wife, and you’re not in West Virginia or Montana, you likely have a problem.

Or our lack of emotional communication. I don’t ever actually remember my mother ever telling me to be more open and communicative. Then again, my dad isn’t exactly a big talker. No wonder I can clam up when it comes to having to express emotions and feelings. Sorry baby.

Obviously, children’s faults in life are largely the sum total of all of our parents mistakes. There’s no way in hell that our future relationships don’t suffer when all we have to witness of relationships are the failings of some of our parents. Most of us meander through life trying to figure out why we think the way we do or why all of our relationships have the same issues. We usually are able to figure out at some point that the very problems we bring to our relationships are the same things we witness our parents going through.

It sure as hell is hard to figure out how to go right when all you’ve seen in life is wrong. Now I know that it’s wholly possible to enter into and maintain a substantial and positive relationship even if you’re the product of a home that’s more broken than the prosecution in the R. Kelly trial.

But I have to wonder, people of VSB.com, how hard do you think it is to overcome your own family while creating a new one? Do you believe in the concept of “daddy issues?” I’ve had women tell me that they don’t exist, while exhibiting every possible issue I’d associate with the term. More importantly…

…who has more of a direct impact on our relationships in the future, mommy or daddy?

-VSB P

P.S. Every now and then we do get serious around here at VSB.com

P.P.S. Also, I’m in cahoots with a clique of people reppin’ that Exchange Blocc of the Muxtape Set Gang. Check out our muxtape online at http://exchange.muxtape.com. This week’s topic was Teenage Love Affair so all the songs reflect all the participants favorite songs from our lovestruck teens years…ya know, before cynicism set in. Check it out…