“Have a baby by me, baby, be a millionaire/write the check before the baby comes, who the hell cares?” ~50 Cent, “I Get Money”
I care actually. People care my dude!
And so does Stevie J. Stevie J, of Love & Hip-Hop: Atlanta fame, has a child support bill outstanding of $1 million dollars.
A motherf*cking million.
I know he has a gang of kids, but I can’t even fathom owing that much money in back child support. Do you know how many payments he didn’t make to get to that point?
And he ain’t Diddy or Russell Simmons or hell, even Nas. They miss a years worth of payments and they’re in the quarter million range. Stevie J ain’t one of them dudes. Some famous rappers are paying like $2K and $3K a month. I’m saying, Stevie missed a lot of payments.
Allegedly – and based on Internet research I’ve done – he has 6 kids. Not an overly insane amount but way too many if you are behind that much on child support. And with 6 kids, they weren’t all ooops babies either. My man just likes running raw and NOT pulling out. And pulling out is totally an option.
Let’s switch gears for a second. I gave up sex for a while back when I was like 26. My reason? Well it had nothing to do with getting right with God or trying to prove to myself that I could abstain. My logic was simple: at that age, I figured if I got some chick pregnant, she was going to keep it. And I wasn’t ready to be a father. While I may have been financially able to do it, I just wasn’t mentally there and I didn’t want to end up in court with some insane child support bill if things didn’t work out. Even with protection I was afraid of getting a woman pregnant. Even right now I’m not sure why I was so afraid of that but it was a real fear.
Of course, like all well thought out plans, I started dating a woman and when I told her that I was abstaining, she absolutely looked at me like I was crazy and was like, “yeah, not gon’ happen…” Seriously have you tried to tell a woman that is active that you’re trying to date that you won’t give her the 1-900-STROKEYDOKE? She’s just not having it. At all. It’s like they feel you, but they’re not here for it. They don’t think its cute nor do they support it. Which is what happened to me. Luckily I didn’t get her pregnant but we always used El Jimenezes. Always.
Now, I won’t even pretend to lie to you and tell you that I’ve always used protection. I haven’t.
But thoughts of million dollar child support payments would dance through my skull and my body would indicate to me, hey pal, you should probably pull out and fire with your eyes closed; this may end terribly. And if I were to make a choice not to it would be a mutual decision based on a labrinth and matrix of decision trees and facts on the table.
Forget the mutual decision though. In that moment, I know full well the potential consequences. We all had sex ed of some sort. Perhaps yours happened in class or maybe you got yours in the School of Hard Knocks by watching your mother close enough to realize that you “don’t want her laaife!” <— Mox Rules. Point is, somewhere along the way, I was smart enough to make a smart decision even while making a dumb one. Or at least a less than smart decision. We all know that much like anything else, the pull out method is about as effective as condoms if done properly. Use condoms people.
Real question time, and I mean this from the heart. Not that it’s smart but I get why so many men prefer to run raw. But why are so many women SO good with it? My experience has taught me that women tend to bring up the raw shenanigans earlier than men. Again, my experiences. Maybe you all have different experiences…I’m just saying, I’ve never suggested it. Ever. It’s been suggested to me…a lot. Then again, latex allergies are real and its as expensive to smash with a lamb or non-latex joint so I can almost understand. Almost.
From a guy standpoint, I really don’t understand why we do that if we ain’t ready to deal with the consequences. And I don’t want to hear jack sh*t about how unfair the system is. Yeah, I feel you. I know. Preaching to the choir. But it is what it is. You create one, you have to take care of one. Deal with it. Thing is, you actually can avoid those problems should you decide that you just HAVE to run raw by busting on her shoulder blades or something. Or elsewhere for the advanced egalitarians in the room.
Stevie J looks like the type to never pull out. He also seems like the type to try to talk you into raw from jump…AND not pull out. Most guys hate the idea of child support and a system designed to run your pockets. Yeah, okay. But you don’t have to be Stevie J. You actually control your own destiny in this regard…and yet, so many dudes out here having babies they weren’t read for.
So real talk, real question for the fellas this time…why exactly wouldn’t you pull out? Why would you be like, “you know what? We just met, I’m sure its cool.” People like Stevie J don’t because well they have money coming from somewhere though a milli suggests his well went dry years ago…but at least they have this life they think they can maintain…but for regular dudes…why risk it?? Serious question…why risk it at all if you ain’t ready to be a pappy? And let’s not all pretend like we NEVER do this. Or its never happened.
Really, I just wanted to write MILLION DOLLAR CHILD SUPPORT and I ended up writing a PSA and questionnaire. Bone responsibly, people. <—TSHIRT!
-VSB P aka MR. PULLIN’ OUT LIKE I HAVE A GARAGE aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3