You Forgot To Be There.

Little Scrappy?

A vast many of you don’t watch Love & Hip-Hop: Atlanta (LHHATL). Congratulations. Consider yourself either lucky or oblivious. It’s one or the other. I, myself, have only seen two full episodes: the first one (I wrote a recap) and this past Monday’s episode. Rest easy, this will not be a recap of a show that apparently nobody here watches or that everybody here is above.

Naw, in one particular scene, Lil Scrappy recounts the story of how he and his baby mama recently “fell out”. Scrappy Doo apparently suffers from asthma and occasionally has asthma attacks. To quote his “girlfriend” Erica, “you have asthma so you have asthma attacks.” A true flair for simplicity, that one has.

Anyway, Scrap apparently had a really bad asthma attack. One so bad that he ended up in the hospital for a few days (!). Now, I’m no expert on the condition though my sister and nephew have terrible asthma, but they don’t always end up in the hospital. That usually is reserved for truly bad attacks. So Scrap-dutty had a bad asthma attack and his baby mama, who he was living with and who was physically with him when it happened…bounced before he got to hospital. Rather, she had one of his boys take him to the hospital so that she could go to work. This (of course) was enough to make Scrapdoogetydog feel like she didn’t have his back and thus move out and leave.

Erica, obviously not understanding how men operate, really didn’t seem to get it at all. To her the ninja has asthma. Asthma attacks happen. She made sure that somebody was there with him. What’s the big deal. Scrap felt like she should have stayed with him instead of going to work. Shenanigans ensue. The end.

This reminds me of Love & Basketball where Quincy took a step back from Monica (same thing Scrappy is doing) because “she forgot to be there” when he needed her most. She prioritized something else (her curfew so that she could start the next game) over him and he took that extremely hard. So much so that he took another chick to Burger King. In college, that’s big. I don’t care what anybody says.

“You forgot to be there….”

Amazing how significant that is to us men. I’ll chalk some of this up to pure selfishness and ego. We expect loyalty out of our women even if our concept of loyalty is shaky at best. Part of this is just how it goes. Women tend to devote themselves to us so when you notice that your woman has effectively placed other stuff above you, well, you notice. And it’s a clear indicator in our mind that we’re not as important as we think/thought we are/were. That’s a very sobering thing for a man.

Plus it doesn’t help that women seem to have this uncanny knack for pulling that when we need y’all most. Kind of ironic, if you think about it, most men will be there (at least I think so) if you need us, we just drop the ball when you don’t but would like us to do better. But for us, the entire concept of being there emotionally (Quincy) or physically (taking the ninja to the hospital) means everything.

In my mind, Monica absolutly should have stayed there with Quincy as long as he needed her. She was his rock, the person he could trust and rely on for everything. At the moment she left, she showed him that he couldn’t count on her at all times. Same thing with Scrappy…his girl bounced on him when the ninja (in his mind and heart) was going through it. Was he going to die? Probably not. But if you’re an asthmatic and you’re going through an episode I imagine that the inability to breath would absolutely make you feel that way. But you know what? This ninja needed some assistance and stat and the one person he felt should be there for him said “naw ninja, I need to go to work, Mook Mook will make sure you don’t die.”

I’d kick her to the curb to. She doesn’t care and proved that she still didn’t get it anyway. She forgot to be there and she just lost one (not that she cares, if you watch the show you don’t get the impression that she truly wanted to be there anyway…well, not all the time).

Maybe women deal with disappointment so much from us that they lose expectations anyway of us being there. But women so rarely disappoint us (does this make up for Monday?) that when you all do, we take it extra hard.

Point is, ladies…if your man is in the bed next to you AND CAN’T BREATHE…take him to the hospital yourself, mmkay pumpkin? Not doing so would be the one area where you, as his woman, are totally f*cked up.

So what do you think? Should she have taken him to the hospital herself or is her job to make sure its taken care of? What are the times when its warranted that you prioritize other stuff above your mate, short of life or death? Fellas…can you feel me??



A Recap of The First Episode of Love & Hip-Hop: Atlanta

Let me just say upfront, Rodney King did not die for Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta to exist and set…something or somebody back…at least 2,000 years. But that happened. So I figured the least I could do is discuss things that stood out about what could quite possibly be the worst thing to happen to Black culture since cigarillos and Chief Keef. What follows is my chronological recap that didn’t happen minute-by-minute but over time of the first episode of Love & HipHop Atlanta.

-Five minutes into this show and I’m already over the Blackness. So, Sleazy J aka Stevie J buys his woman a house in the sticks only to tell her that he needs to “get this money” – a phrase that has likely done more damage to the Black community than ‘pimps up, hoes down’. She’s been with him for over 15 years. These ninjas have some seriously long term relationships. They should stop that.

-And Lil Scrappy is this seasons…Fabolous? That’s not a compliment by the way. Scrappy is not a celebrity by the way. At least not really outside of I-285. By the way, in the legion of Black women’s names, why is Erica/Erika/Ericka so damn popular. Why are there so many black women named Erica? I need a Congressional commision on this.

-Who in the F*CK is this K. Michelle broad? Sure she can sing, but why should she be actively involved in my life is what I’m asking. Interestingly enough, if you were to do a study on “hood chicks that can sing”, I’m fairly certain we could populate Israel or one of those other random ass countries in the Middle East and get the whole Greek drachma situation settled. Does that make any sense whatsoever? No. None at all. But that’s whats happened thus far since I’ve been watching this show. Despite the fact that nothing totally ratchet has happened, I’m all of a sudden feeling less…educated. And these people are in my city. I think I’m in DC for the long haul folks.

-Less than 20 minutes in and we already have tears of “you deserve better” courtesy of the best friend Ariane. She’s definitely A-town with her big ass “A” necklace. I don’t think we Atlantans think that other people understand our lingo since so many folks get their names tatted or necklaced all over the place. Oh yeah…the crying best friend. Over it.

-So let me get this right, Stevie J is a pimp? What part of the game is that. Oh, apparently he f*cks this chick Joseline’s brain. That’s new. Go Stevie. When the f*ck did Stevie J become “that n*gga”? Do ANY women reading even know who he is outside of Eve?  This is a problem for me. Mostly because I feel like Puffy is laughing his arse off while he cashes checks for work Stevie J used to do.

-Can we put a moratorium on cracked out mommas receiving airtime please? Seriously people. White people are watching. This is not looking good for us. Lil Scrappy, I’m looking at you and your momma.

-So, these chicks out here apparently have a rough time. K.Michelle, I feel you boo. The Clipse weren’t f*cking with Jive either remember? “…we’re sorry to the fans but them crackas wasn’t playing fair at Jive…” <—- we know the deal boo.

-Yo, I forgot how loud Black folks are in Atlanta. Momma Dee and Erica are so ATL, I almost shed a tear and got homesick. Until I realized that I might run into them ninjas. Again, I’m good in DC. By the way, if I found out that my momma was a pimp, I’d probably go and find Jesus again. Real spit.

-I’m struggling with Stevie J being considered the “pimp-player”. I really am. This is the MOST relevant he’s been since the 90s. They scraped the bottom of the barrel for this show.

-Women are stupid. Mimi needs to get her life together. This just proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that some women just refuse to accept that the man they chose isn’t good for them. Some of you all would rather be wrong forever than admit that you made a mistake. Mimi is living proof. Word to Lil Dap.

-Okay, this meeting with Karlie Reed, Josaline, Stevie J and Antonio Reed is exactly why everybody thinks that the music industry is a sham. These ninjas are…I hope that every kid watching realizes that they need to to got college. That’s all I’m going to say. Viva la college.

-Is this chick K. Michelle wearing Ewoks on her feet? I have a problem with this.

- I have a homeboy who thinks that Soul Plane set Black people like 100 years. That’s blatantly not true. But just in this first episode of Love and HipHop Atlanta, I feel like we may have lost at least 12 years. Yes, this episode took us back to 2000.

-So Stevie J might be the STUPIDEST man on the planet. He brings his jumpoff around his baby mama, tries to play the baby mama, ONLY to piss off his jumpoff at the same time who is trying to stay in her lane but catching feelings like STDs at a Lenny Kravitz concert.

-Yo, where the f*ck is this broad Joseline from? And why can’t she say “fur”? This perplexes me. I’d like to apologize to you all for watching this and subjecting to you this recap. But it’s been as hard for me as it was for anybody reading this.

-Fellas, word to big bird, if you EVER have the choice to make between your girl and the jumpoff/artist you’re working with RIGHT after an argument with your girl happens…ALWAYS tend to home, my n*gga. ALWAYS tend to home first. I may not be perfect, but that’s one mistake I know I’d NEVER make.

This ends this recap. I will never do this again. This was painful. I’m sorry. Love and Hip-Hop Atlanta might be too much for me to ever watch again. I never knew a true definition of the word “ratchet” until I watched this show. I’m done.

Love and Hip-Hop Atlanta, you broke Panama Jackson.

Annnnnnnd I’m spent.