Yes It’s True…Black Guys Can Like White Girls AND Black Girls Too

Do you realize that being seen with you means I can never go to the Essence festival again? Damn you cavewoman! Damn you!!!!

A week or so ago, our favorite least favorite (and newly single) professional athlete was spotted at The Watch The Throne concert with professional wifey Sanaa Lathan. Now, whether they just happened to run into each other there or were filming Loving Brown Sugar Basketballs Just Wright has yet to be determined, but apparently they were quite cozy. So cozy in fact that they were reported to be togethertogether, a rumor Lathan quickly shut down. 

From her Twitter feed

Can a girl have some fun at a jayz/kanye concert w/out being linked 2 a breakup? I AM NOT, NEVER HAVE BEEN, INVOVLED W/KOBE IN ANY WAY.

Whether they’re actually an item or not doesn’t matter to or interest me. They’re both rich, famous, black, and named after yoga poses, so I guess they’d be a good match. What does interest me, though, is the assumption that Kobe wouldn’t touch Sanaa in a million years, a sentiment she reiterated in her next tweet.

@justsanaa: Anybody who pays attention knows I’m not his type… Blank stare. #blackgirlsrock #dontbelievethelies¹

What exactly was she getting at? I mean, we’re all pretty certain that, despite his propensity for prolonged bitchassness, Kobe isn’t homosexual. He definitely does like women, so why wouldn’t he be interested in a woman as good-looking as Sanaa Lathan?

Ohhh, I get it now. Kobe was married to a non-black woman for a decade. This must mean that he’s definitely, automatically, unequivocally, and unquestionably not attracted to black women at all.

Now, I don’t know Kobe at all. He may very well hate black women with the white hot heat of 1000 AKA thongs. His favorite movies might be “The Imitation of Life,” “Othello,” and “Jungle Fever,” and his favorite animal might be the panda bear. Who the hell knows? I do know, though, that the widely held “fact” that if a black man dates outside of his race, it automatically means he’s not into black women is completely f*cking wrong.

Admittedly, I do understand where this sentiment comes from and why it’s so widely held. Centuries of having to deal with people like Satoshi Kanazawa can produce a circle-the-wagons mentality where any affront to black women’s desirability — real or perceived — is met with immediate rebuke. Also, there are some black men who, as soon as they reach a certain status level, put sistas on permanent “ignore.” (This doesn’t happen as often as many of us think it does, but it does happen.)

Thing is, this theory ignores two vital facts.

1. Proximity and availability are easily the two most important factors when men are choosing mates. If you see a black man with a non-black women, 9 times out of 10 it’ll be because she happened to be around, happened to be single, and happened to be interested in him. That’s it. No self-loathing. No hatred of black skin. No angry tweets about Michelle Obama’s gums.

And, most importantly…

2. Women are all the same. 

Now, I’ve made no secret of my love, adoration, and admiration of black women. I’m completely attracted to and infatuated with them. Sistas are the sh*t and sh*t.  But, when it comes down to what makes a woman a woman, I also do realize that black women, white women, Asian women, Hispanic women, Indian women, aboriginal women, and women from Detroit aren’t really all that different. Sure, from an individual perspective they all have their own personal quirks and characteristics and nuances, but collectively all chicks are pretty much the same. (I feel the exact same way about men, btw. Despite my world-renowned awesomeness, there’s really no difference between me and some random New Zealand-ass n*gga.) 

I’m bringing this up because, once you realize that women aren’t really all that different from each other, you start to see how a man could be equally attracted to Jill Scott and Natalie Portman. (If you think this is too far-fetched of a comparison, you obviously don’t know me very well, and you obviously didn’t click on those last two links) In fact, you start to understand how a man could date/marry a white women even if he’s still much more attracted to sistas. Sh*t, I love female teachers, but that doesn’t mean that I’d never date a lawyer. (That last analogy was much more clever in my head than it is on screen, but I think you get my point.)

Anyway, people of VSB.com, I’m curious: When you see a black man with a non-black woman, do you automatically assume he’s just not that into sistas? Do you think you’re right to feel that way? If so, why, and how many hugs did you miss as a child?

¹This tweet has since been deleted

—The Champ

What’s the 411, Friend.

Despite the inherent cornball factor that’s present in the movie Brown Sugar, I find it to be extremely rewatchable. For one, I can be as corny (and sexxy) as aybody else, and b) I lopve hip-hop, romantic comedies and Mos Def is hilarious in the movie.

Speaking of Mos Def, I’m watching the Hip Hop Honors right now on VH1 and De La Soul is performing. There’s no reason for you to know this but de la soul is one of my favorite groups of all time (with N.W.A being the all-time favorite) and de la soul is dead is hands down my favorite album of all time, period. Hell, I remember exactly where I was when I first heard that album.

Potholes in my lawn, indeed.

Eye know. Eye make no sense sometimes.

Back to the lecture at hand, while watching the TV show Soul Food today (don’t you love how I’m all over the place but in the exact same spot at the same time) and Brown Sugar came to mind, and specifically one sequence where Taye Diggs decides to quit his job as an A&R after witnessing the Hip-Hop Dalmatians remake Michael Jackson’s “The Girl Is Mine” into “The H*e Is Mine”. Coincidentally, that would be a #1 hit song today.

Word.Life.

So instead of going home to tell his wife, Nicole Ari Parker, Taye goes straight for Sanaa Lathan (who’s his best friend – forgive me for rehashing this but some folks might not have seen it) first. She licks his wounds (no pr0no), gives him some investment money, then they part ways. He heads home to his wife and tells her that he quit his job and then mentions that Sanaa’s character has offered to invest in his new record label. Of course, wifeyboo is pissed off that he told his best friend first.

Its common agreeance that there is no such thing as a platonic relationship. I don’t actually 100 percent agree with this but I usually get outgunned in those conversations, and even in the movie, the point was that ducking their love for one another – much to their own detriment – until they finally got their act together.

But that got me to thinking about that situation. Was the wife more pissed that he told his best friend first or that she is a woman….that he told first. It seems like the latter response is the right one but I’m not sure. I’ve asked some women about this before and they felt that the gender of the best friend didn’t matter. (They’re lying.) The fact is that when you make decisions that effect two people directly, you always go straight to the other person most effected first. Seems like common sense, but I mean, when you’re down, sometimes your best friend is the person that understands the most and knows how best to help you get over the hump.

It ain’t like you intentionally didn’t go to them, you just went for the person who’s always been there. Which could be another problem…the wifey/boo should be the first line of defense….right?

So I ask you good people of VSB.com, if you’re in a committed relationship (lets take it down a notch from marriage though I do want to hear if married perspectives are different), are you obligated to tell the significant other stuff first? Would you be pissed if they went to their best friend first? And does it make it worse if they go to their opposite secks friend with major news first?

Does anybody know where the Honeycomb Hideout is?

Commence.

Hip-Hop Hooray.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST