God Knows My Struggle, So It’s…Okay?

If you dating Black women I don’t feel bad for you son, but you’ll have 99 problems and God will be one.

Okay, that didn’t work like I wanted it to but what I was trying to say via Jay-Z was that if you’re a man who is dating Black women, there’s a really good chance that God, Jesus, and ‘nem will enter into your relationship at some point. The Holy Trinity has definitely crip walked into nearly every relationship that I’ve had, usually in the form of me being questioned for not going to church. It’s come up time and time again within each relationship I’ve been in. I think I just have a thing for church girls…or at least I did until I realized that I like to date Black women that read, in which case, well, nearly all of them are church girls.


This is not really a problem, mind you, though it does present an issue when you hear “ohhhhhh God” as much as I do…wait…what was I saying?

Moving on.

Now dating church girls presents very few issues in terms of religion. Since most of us are reared in church of some sort, dating a woman who would like to pray together and worship together is pretty much par the course. And I’m saying, most of us have that old time religion in our bones. I love the Bible and one of the best gifts I ever received was a Bible. I treasure that thing. I love God and all that jazz.

Here’s where it starts to present an issue and I’m speaking about women here because I’ve never really spoken to any men who (admittedly) go through this same struggle. But it seems like many women struggle with being “Christian” and what that requires and how that can get in the way of (forgive me for putting it that way Jesus, strike somebody else and come back to me later) “relationshipping”. Unless you have two people who are truly on the same page of celibacy, there’s a very good chance that there will be some smanging going on. Obviously, sex can get in the way of getting closer to God, so to speak, since you’re supposed to wait until you’re married for many more reasons than just religious, but most of us tend to realize that while everybody is probably doing it, that doesn’t make it okay to do if you’re truly on a walk with God.

That make sense?

You may not know this about me, but I’m overly cynical and sometimes too logical and contrarian for my own good. It can be a nitrous combination at times. What this all means in laymen’s terms is that I will eventually get into some debate about whether or not sex should actually be taking place. I almost feel at times like I’m enabling somebody’s walk away from God and its unfair for them to put me in that position. I’ve offered to stop engaging in such practice to ensure that my other half could work towards their goal of Godliness. And nearly EVERY time, I’ve been met with four words:

God knows my struggle.

Or it’s kissin’ cousin, God knows my heart.


Or more simply, I like sex and have no intention of stopping this because it brings me joy. I don’t really do anything else wrong so I don’t feel any type of way about this short of the guilt you’re laying on me right now. God made sex and made it so pleasurable so maybe he intended for it to happen this way.

Now, I’m no religious scholar. I mean, I pray (well I say my grace before I eat at least…but I do pray on occasion) and II read my Bible and I love me some praise and worship music. Basically, I’m no expert on religious doctrine or rules, but I’m fairly certain that God knowing your struggle doesn’t make it better. It just means that he knows it exists. But seeing as he knows it exists in you and that you have acknowledged its existence, he would also know that you’d likely have the capacity to work on it. Right?

Which means that the whole, “God knows my struggle” thing is basically a cop out, no? No shade here or anything, but can you really be working on something if your default reaction is that its a struggle you have, therefore you deserve some slack. While I realize that we as human beings have needs, or wants, I do think that for something like sex we also have the ability to put a stop to it. I know…temptation is real and very present. And engaging in pleasures of the flesh is a satisfying dish. However, if you claim to be looking towards getting closer to God, how can you say that you’re trying in the sex regard if you’re still willing to engage in sex? I know its hard to go cold turkey and dispel the advances. And hell, there’s a good chance based on the things you see and read (even here) that not giving up the goodies places one in a space of presumed singledom.

I’m not sure I completely agree with that, but I do understand the logic and get why that would be a concern.

So what’s the solution? Only date people who are on the exact same walk you are on? Even folks in church ain’t on that walk most times. How do I know? Well…aside from the obvious…I’m just saying. Like can you just keep moving along in the ways of the word and all while still copping out by suggesting that you’re good except for that one struggle and you’re “working on it?”

What say you? And here’s a question as this was mostly tailored to women, do men struggle like this or are we just accepted heathens? I’m truly curious.

Does God know your struggle (as you guzzle a 40?)

Love 40.