The Morning After.

Wow…almost 700 comments on our 100th post and we managed to bring out a gang of folks who’ve never really commented before.

Kudos.  Canons to the right of them.  Canons to the left of them.

And for the record, I largely expect all of you lurkers who came out of the woodworks to start commenting now.  Change…that’s what Obama’s talking and he’s our Democratic Presidential Nominee.  Change, it’s what’s for breakfast.

Two other things – 1) since so many of you do indeed live in the Washington, DC, area I’m going to try to kick off this DC Happy Hour.  If you’re interested in coming, fill out this form with your name (it can be a fake name, knock yourself out Slappy McDufferman) and e-mail address so I can compile a list and send out an evite or something.

2)  We kcufed up.  Yes we.  Oui.  We kcufed up.  I already said that.  Luckily it wasn’t our fault, it was Jim Jones fault and you all know this.  It’s always Jim Jones fault.  And with that said (I will kill ninjas dead)…

The Richard Simmons Award for the commenter most likely to actually meet everybody involved with VSB.com, not in a dark alley (or maybe a dark alley, heh heh heh) and make sure that we’re staying up on our grizzly and give us hugs goes to Intellecutal Hedonist, who has managed to email us with interesting enough things and enough times to make us feel like she’s part of our family.  She’s also the person who’s most likely to take it in stride that Jim Jones kcufed us up.

Funny the same songs helped us right our wrongs.  Forgive we?

On to today’s post.  We just saw the nomination of our first African-American Presidential Candidate.  Wow.  I honestly thought I’d never see the day.  But I did see the day.  Me and about 500 folks packed out a nightclub to watch it.  By the way Champ, Bonequisha said hi and quit coming late on her child support.

Well the nomination got me to thinking about folks in my life that I’d LOVE to nominate for something.  And since we had a gang of nominations (and one erroneous Republican cock-up) yesterday, I figured I’d keep the democracy alive and tell you a story.

Once upon a time, I dated a crazy chick.  No, really.  I mean she was bonkers.  In fact, let me tell you how bonkers she was.  She was so bonkers that though we never actually went on a date, we were dating.  How in Sam Hill were we dating you ask?  Good question.  I know this because her parents told me that we were a happy couple and had been for quite some time.

Imagine my surprise.  I hadn’t the foggiest.

Bottom line though, apparently I was dating a crazy chick.  Just because I didn’t know it doesn’t mean it wasn’t so.  It just wasn’t all-the-way so.  Just so-so.  So So Def.

Well every so often, this nutso broad runs through my mind and I’m prone to stifling a laugh at that situation.

In fact, if I was given only one chance to nominate a person for one award EVER, she’d be the person as I’d nominate her for Craziest Heffa To Grace The Face of Earth for her constant shenanigans and inability to take no for an answer.

I swear, I once told her that I never wanted to talk to her ever again.  She called me right back to tell me that she only thought I was joking and that I couldn’t possibly mean it.

I keed you not.

So my good friends of VSB.com and newfound lurker friends who’ve been outed as of yesterday:

If you could nominate any of your past relationships or relationshipees for an award…what award would you present to them?  In fact, it can be either good or bad.  We all have somebody we can nominate da**it.  I’ll save the good ones for the comments assuming I can get to them.

And by the way, the Ike and Tina Award for Most Punches Thrown in the middle of a Quiet Conversation goes to a couple I just saw walking down U Street, NW, in Washington, DC who I’d swear were completely in love if they weren’t beating the horse’s arse out of one another.  True story.  Even the cop was confused.

Give it to me baby.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST

PS I ordered my shirt today.  Did you?