of all the crushes i’ve harbored, none have impacted my life the way angie williams has.

angie –a high school classmate– was the object of my silent appreciation for approximately three months in the spring of 1997. it wasn’t that she was the finest or sexiest girl in school or anything like that. i mean, she was definitely attractive, but my admiration completely stemmed from the fact that she was f*cking grown.

not “grown” in the “i’ve had boobs and booty and i’ve been boning since i was 12” way or the “my 23 year old boyfriend is picking me up afterschool in his iroc” way, but grown in the way you could imagine an 18 year claire huxtable or michelle obama being. her grown-ness wasn’t overt. she wasn’t the least bit condescending or patronizing. but, she had a general continence and class about her that made her so far removed from the bullsh*t minutiae of high school existence that it was almost like she was a character in one of those teen movies where they cast 25 year old actors as high school sophomores and juniors.

even her usual daily “costume” –black rimmed glasses, guess jeans, and a short, halle berry-esque do when most of the other girls had weave or ponytails– gave more evidence to the idea that she belonged in some corporate office or courtroom somewhere instead of homeroom and study hall

because i was seeing her best friend, i never said anything to her about the crush¹. but, she made such an impression on me that i’ve had a weakness for women with glasses ever since.

seriously, from the woman with the slight lisp who played the school superintendent on season four of “the wire” to tina fey, glasses have a way of making me much more attracted to someone than i’d regularly be. i wouldn’t quite call it a fetish, but…who am i kidding? i’d bag an albino pygmy if her angular frame game was on point.

anyway, thinking about angie and angie’s glasses yesterday made me think of few more non-sexual things that make me much, much more randy than they probably should, and i’d thought i’d share four of them today: Continue reading →