in the fall of ’95, an 11th grade champ faced a crucial dilemma, a literal crossroads that would affect him for the rest of his life. you see, because of the young champ’s uncannily egg-shaped head, reasonable haircut options were limited.

the “fade“, an old and reliable option for the champ since 4th grade, had become obsolete because his usual barber got locked up for kidnapping and racketeering, and the replacement barber did fades like he was cutting my head with a blender blade. as anyone who goes to the same barbershop regularly knows, though, unless they practically decapitate you, you can’t switch barbers. sh*t, boning a pair of sisters would create less of a volatile dynamic than switching barbers in the same shop, so i was stuck with rasheed scissorhands and his dyslexic fades, practically insuring that the young champ would be drunk in a sea of coituslessness for years to come.

as i scruffily ventured to the shop one brisk saturday morning, ready to accept my fate, i happened to glance at a sports illustrated in the window of a corner store, a glance that would change my life forever.

on the cover was georgetown university sophomore point guard allen iverson, an athlete who was already inching towards becoming the most iconic and infleuntial sports figure in america, and on allen iverson’s head was a “ceaser”

…the haircut that would save my life, my ol’ reliable thirteen straight years now

until seeing him rocking it, it hadn’t dawned on me how great of an option the ceaser would be. a simple even-steven wouldnt give mr. fried chicken fingers an opportunity to really mess things up. also, with the newfound cut, i could finally grow waves like nas had on the “it was written” album cover, all thanks to bubbachuck iverson

we speak all the time about how influential the media, pop culture, or a celebrity can be on the way we act and/or perceive things, but usually we’re referring to more subtle affectations. today, its time to get literal.

people of vsb.com, what are your iverson stories?

when has a famous person or popular movie or well-known song had a direct and unambigious effect on your behavior?

tell us about the time a.j. johnson in “house party” had you rocking spandex for an entire summer, or about how you still use “the bronx tale” door test with every woman you meet, or how lil kim helped you justify your ho-tivity.

ya’ll better be honest too, or i’ll curse your first-born sons to two decades of bad barbers.

—the champ