Tag Archives: pop culture

Who I’m Iz In 5 Karakters Or Less…

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1330010904_35icj4It’s Friday. And on Friday at VSB we try to have a little bit of fun around here. Well, a few days ago I made a few references to the movie Class Act which starred Kid and Play. I’ve long been associated with Kid. I always get told that I look like him, which I’m totally on the fence about. But real talk, I can totally associate with Kid’s character in the House Party movies. I didn’t have an overbearing comedian father who died and went to heaven in part two of my life story, but we are both lightskint.

Well, this got me to thinking, what five characters in movies or television shows, or whatever, would encompass the greatness that is Panama Jackson. And there’s a lot of greatness here to encompass.

So here’s my shot at picking characters that I think would best make up moi, Panama Dontavious Jackson.

1. Harper Stewart (The Best Man)

Minus admitting to be a b*tch a**, Harp was an ole writing arse ninja who put too much of his business out there for world consumption and paid for it dearly.  He almost got thrown from a roof. That’s never happened to me as I’m not Vanilla Ice (even if it is a myth I find it hilarious), but the writing and putting it all out there is similar. I’ll take the Oprah shoutout but you know she ain’t caaaaaaallll me? Anyway, Harp’s on my list.

2. Andre “Dre” Ellis (Brown Sugar)

I promise I won’t make this a Taye Diggs-a-thon. But Dre was the hiphop dude who got caught up in trying to keep it real while trying to keep it profitable. Hello, VSB? Constant struggle. Granted, I feel like his hiphop knowledge was a bit fugazi and mine is extensive as a ninja rocking Extenze with a Swedish penis pump, but thats just splitting hairs.

3. Preston Meyers (Can’t Hardly Wait)

I was the quintessential guy everybody knew who was pining away for the girl who had no clue I existed back in high school. Though thats not completely true. I had a girlfriend. I just shouldn’t have. But I did have a crush on a girl back then. And she ain’t care. But I was a cool kid and everybody knew me. The stoners loved my theories. The skaters loved my wheels. The black folks were my friends and the white folks respected my intellect. I was cooler than you. Word to the guy who sings that song.

4. Steve Urkel (Family Matters)

Hopeless romantic with a good heart extraordinaire. And the killer glasses and suspenders set. Not in 2013. But in 1995? Awwww…that’s me.

5. Will Smith (Fresh Prince of Bel-Air)

I was never really a Theo. I was more Will. But Will who applied himself in class and school. But even now. I’m cool as a fan but goofy as all get out. Goofy in the…well I don’t know how to describe it fully, I just know that in my own estimation, I feel like i matchup well with Will Smith from the Fresh Prince. I could be lying to myself, but now I’m lying to you all too.

So those are 5 characters that I feel help make up the essence of Panama Jackson. Who makes up the essence of you? And why? Share with us like you are Brother Numpsey.

It’s Friday. Happy weekending.

Somebody’s birthday is Monday.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Is It Me or Has The Blackosphere Run Out Of Things To Talk About?

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That's totally racism! She should leave him! Be strong sister. Beyonce teaches us this!

That’s totally racism! She should leave him! Be strong sister. Beyonce teaches us this!

This ain’t funny so don’t you dare laugh, but I think that Black thought has run out of ideas. And I’m not talking the rapper from the Roots crew. No, I’m talking the majority component of Black conversation starters and “influencers”. Yes, the Ebony’s and Essence’s and Clutch’s* and Madame Noires*, etc.

Basically, the places that Black folks congregate to discuss Black issues. VSB included though I’m going to give us a TOTALLY non-biased pass since we’re a two-man deep operation. But it seems like, actually, it IS like, there are four topics worthy of talking about in the pages of Blackness – relationships, race, pop culture, and self-empowerment.

I’ve perused all of the Black intelligentsia pages – and I realize thats probably a misnomer – and there’s very little to do with politics and health or anything that isn’t purely opinion based. This isn’t to say that I don’t think that Black folks don’t have opinions on politics or finances (Black Enterprise is one good source), but it does seem that we stay as far away as possible from those topics in some of the most popular sources for Black “material.”

Now, I’d be intentionally ignoring the elephant in the room if I didn’t point out that those sites are largely (actually totally) geared towards women and maybe the vast majority of women who might read those sites couldn’t give two f*cks with a soda on the side of a partridge in a pear tree about partisan politics, sequesters, or anything in the political realm that doesn’t include the words Michelle Obama.

It’s possible that I’m completely ignoring the impact that sites like The Root and Huff Post Black Voices have on the community at large. Either that or I only follow and pay attention to the wrong pubs, but it really does seem like no matter where I go I see the same ho the exact same ideas and posts written different ways are presented. When I visit some of my more enjoyable mainstream (read white) sites, they’re chock full of all types of topics. I mean you can read posts about the role mice play in the World Cup. Or how electricity totally f*cks up the game for ladybugs in Santo Domingo. I’m not even saying that all of the things I read are good, interesting, or worthy of reading. But there are a slew or random but fresh ideas on lots of fresh and random topics.

Maybe its just that in the Blackosphere, there aren’t a lot of larger sites dedicated to news and thought in the same way that a Daily Beast or Huff Post or Slate can be. Even on sites like The Root, it seems like all the posts bottleneck right back into the racial component. Which isn’t wrong per se. There’s nothing wrong with that. And it’s important to have the facilitators of such conversations making sure that those angles are always pursued. But we still can’t seem to get past the Big Four.

Of course, there’s always the side of the argument that shows that I’m not even close to being accurate. That there are sites out there tackling all of the important issues of the day and adding new and insightful ideas to Internet and catalog of Black thought. Which is possible, but really, I don’t think that’s the case. I’m starting to think that for the most part we like to talk about those things because its one area where our opinion is all that counts and it doesn’t require being overly informed on any topic. And if you’re attempting to appeal to the most people at one time, then broad simple topics is the bread and butter to keep folks coming back. Even here at VSB, that argument can be made.

Maybe, Black folks online really only have a few things to talk about. Or maybe those of us online creating the conversations don’t think the audiences care about anything else. Or maybe OJ didn’t do it but did it at the same damn time.

I don’t really know.

But I do have to wonder, have we run out of things to talk about in the Blackosphere?

Talk to me.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. I STILL NEED MY JOB aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRLLL HE A 3

Independence Day: Give Us Free!

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I recently moved and have been without cable for over a week and some change now. Oh, and my new neighborhood? Well, let’s just say that I’ve got enough material so far to establish a whole new Pulitzer Prize winning journalistic career about life sociological differences on the other side of the railroad tracks. I’m talking about writing snapshots of life that would make Gordon Parks jealous. wish I was joking. I am not. Be prepared. I’ve got a slew of posts coming down the pipeline and I’ve only been here for a week.

Anyway, back to my lack of cable. Now one would think that life sans cable would leave me, somebody whose entire life revolves around pop cultures and “what’s going on”, feeling a bit empty inside. But with the advent of Facebook, Twitter, and the WiFi that I’m borrowing from somebody (this is a feat in and of itself around here…trust me), I don’t feel like I’ve missed a thing. Well that’s not completely true…I have missed Love & Hip-Hop: ATL and that has made me sad. But it’s also made me happy because, well, I’ve missed Love & Hip-Hop: ATL. This type of conundrum has to be what W.E.B. DuBois was really talking about with his whole double consciousness thing. Forget being Black making it in a white world, it’s all about that #ratchetlife. Or not. See? I’ve got a foot in and out of that world. Help me. I’m like Nicki Minaj on a David Guetta song.

I’ve lost my way.

Freedom. Wednesday (tomorrow) is July 4th and since it’s a day based upon the Freedom of this great land of ours, and more since I have lived a week without cable, I figured I’d delve into other things that I previously thought I couldn’t live without but it turns out that, well, I just may be able to do so.

Oh, it hasn’t been all roses. Not having ESPN and my NewsChannel8 in the morning has been troubling. #HiJummy

Moving on…

1. Nas

(Yeah, this list is TOTALLY not going where you thought it was. #imsoratchet)

Sure he’s one of the greatest rappers of all time, but if you never heard another Nas song again…would you notice? I don’t think so. In fact, I’ll bet that outside of backpack hip-hop heads and folks who like to argue about hip-hop, nobody talks about Nas until he releases an album, and then stops immediately after the album has hit stores. That’s me. Nas? I can live without his career at this point.

Along the same lines…

2. D’Angelo

I thought I missed D’Angelo until I realized that I’ve lived without his music for damn near 15 years. At this point, it’s okay, D. Stay away. We’re good. We’ve moved on. The only good think about D’Angelo performing at the BET Awards is that we’re either one step closer to hell actually freezing over or Detox coming out. My money is on the Grim Reaper pissing icicles over the River Styx while pilgrims get stuck in the waters that slaves waded in…down by the riverside (down by).

3. Black major distributed films

Sure we’d all like to have a movie that Black folks can go to the movies to see in unison like Think Like A Man and NOT have to cringe if you read or defend it if you don’t. But real talk, I can just sit on Netflix all day and watch movies that nobody in their right mind should see. I don’t need to see another Love Jones as long as people keep making movies like He’s Mine, Not Yours. By the way, Jason Weaver is criminally slept on. If he had won over Kevin Hart as Best Black Male actor, then I’d be okay with it.

4. Expensive arse shoes

Maybe I’m getting old (possible) or maybe I just don’t see the value in them anymore (likely). Now every time I open my closet and look at my $200 Foams I just shake my head. A lot. In fact, the shoes I get the most wear out of are my Chucks. As in my $45 shoes that function in all surroundings from white bars to Black hip-hop functions (though I acknowledge that hip-hop functions are a shoe lovers wet dream). This includes Jordan’s by the way, except the 4s. I can’t lie, if I can ever get my hands on a pair, I’ll pay $200 for them and not think twice about it.

5. All mainstream hiphop

Yeah. Easy target. But that’s that sh*t I don’t like. Which is partially a lie. I like Rick Ross when he’s making good music. He just hasn’t been doing that lately to me. Oh, and I know nobody will agree with me, but I’m possibly the onliest person alive who hasn’t been moved by anything coming from this G.O.O.D. Music Cruel Summer album. I don’t love “New God Flow” and never liked “Mercy”. Heresy? Possibly. But I miss the old Kanye.

Alright, that’s a few things that I can live without now. So…what about you? It’s the day before the 4th. Enjoy yourself.

And have a Happy 4th of July! We’re taking a break around here for the holiday so have a good time and don’t get hit by any fireworks…like I did last year. True story, I got hit in my arm and leg by a rocket and had to dive behind a car to save myself from the rocket exploding all up in my life space. It also dented my car.

Sharing is caring.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. HAVE A HAPPY 4TH aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

DC: Also don’t forget to RSVP for REMINISCE this Saturday, July 7, 2012. It’s free before 11pm with an RSVP and $10 after. We’re celebrating the 1-year anniversary of Urban Cusp, the birthday of our DJ, Supa Qool DJ Quartermaine, and the 90s! Real hip-hop dog. Open bar and no dress code? Where ELSE should you be??? Party like a rock star with VSB, baby.

Generationation: This Is Me…Then

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I was on the Twitter this evening questioning people about the things that matter in life most: pop culture. You see, without pop culture, Rosa Parks would never have gotten out of her seat…or wait, did she refuse to get up. I can’t remember. Little known facts about Black history always throw me off.

The point is, pop culture is what makes the world go ’round. Now, I tend to fancy myself as somewhat of a pop culture tycoon. I don’t have the breadth of knowledge as some of my compadres who know little intricate facts about every movie, song, or act that’s come out since Cicely Tyson started radio, but I know enough. While my arms may be too short to hot box with God, they’re long enough to slap the monkey shine sh*t out of all perpetrators of the funk.

And what does this have to do with the price of love muffins in Malaysia? Nothing. I just felt like sharing.

The question I posed on the Twitters was this: Is Coming To America the defining movie of our generation, with the caveat of our generation being 25-44 year olds. Arguably, that range is too long but did you know a generation is considered to be an 18-year period? Did you also know that Coca-Cola was originally green? I didn’t either ’til I just googled it.

To me Coming To America is the most quoted movie, most omnipresent movie, and most entertaining movie that 99 percent of all ninjas are aware of. You may disasgree. You may be wrong. But also, you will know. There’s no doubt about it.

Of course, there are arguments to be made for various other movies like Friday, Boyz N The (Tha?) Hood, and any movie starring Stoney Jackson. But as is plainly obvious around here, we’re big fans of Coming To America. It’s the Jay-Z of movies. Plus it might the most stereotypically racist movie ever created. I love it.

But you can’t stop there. What about music? There have to be something like a gazillion songs out there, but there has to be one song above all else that kind of defines the generation you come from right? Anything else would be uncivilized.

(By the way, Preparation H commercials are hilariously disturbing. Lady, I hope that bike your riding isn’t a RideShare bike.)

While picking a TV show like Martin, A Different World, or The Cosby Show as the show that most well represents our generation presents less interpretive dancing, picking music is way more difficult, especially when you consider how many actual albums Master P managed to sell. No really. Look it up. And did you also know that there was a time when groups like The Dayton Family ACTUALLY sold real records. This from a group with members named Shoestring, Backstabber, and Bootleg. Only in Flint, MI, does Shoestring seem like the odd name.

If I had to pick one song to use as the defining song of my generation, it would be Notorious B.I.G.’s “One More Chance” Remix. Mostly because it’s the defining song of Bad Boy and hate them or love them, Bad Boy (while Biggie was alive) was at the top of the food chain.

Oh, and I’d pick A Different World as the tv show.

So basically, I just took 552 words to ask this question:

If you had to pick one movie, song, and television show to define your/our generation, what would it be and why? Or if there are other things you think would stand out as significant, what might they be? Simply, what defines your/our generation?

It’s Friday, its not a day for depth. It’s a time for fun and fellowship. Plus, if one more person calls me a narrow-minded, ignorant papoose, I just might just have to slap a mofo. Yeah you think you can outshine me? Boy I bet. I ain’t met the motherf*cker that could do that yet.

Hold me.

Panama Jackson, signing out.

-VSB P aka TICKLE ME EMO P aka SLAP ME AND I’LL SLAP YOU BACK (POUR LOTION ON ME) aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Make Me Feel Good

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My guess is that he's wearing sexy women's underwear.

I was having an IM convo with a certain VSB commenter when she displayed for me a certain statistic. Peep game, shawty.

“…some study about women wearing sexy underwear versus ugly/ill fitted underwear
27% said wearing the latter affects their mood while 47% said wearing the sexy kind makes them happier throughout the day…”

Well, after that, I did what any red-blooded American male would do; I  hit up most of the women I know and asked them if their day was affected by the types of drawz they put on. A large segment of responses started with, “the type of underwear I put on is totally dependent on my mood…”

“Hmmmm,” said Panama Jackson.

Now, the scientist in me deduced that in the future, instead of blaming PMS for many women’s craptastic attitude, I could simply assume that these women were wearing underwear of ill repute. Or UIR for short. I don’t actually intend on using that anywhere else in this post, but I felt it worhty of acronymity. I’m also not sure if acronymity is a word and am too lazy to look it up.

Jerome? Where my mirror at?

Oh and by the way, that scientific deduction up there (See that last line, it’s right above it. Lil Wayne.) wasn’t very scientific so here’s some better science for you. While I cannot deduce that a woman wearing ugly drawz will have a bad day, I can deduce that if a woman I encounter is having a bad or less than stellar day, there is at least a 25 percent chance that she is wearing ugly drawz. Stick a fork in me, Ms. Steuben; I’m done.

Well all of this talk about women’s underwear and moods got me to wondering. And when Panama wonders, Panama tends to speak in third person. Panama wondered if there was a male equivalent to the Underwear Theory. Is there any item of clothing that tends to have an impact on a man’s day? Of course there is. But much like rainbows, chocolate chips, and Pringles…

…there’s more than one! Or something like that…

1. Shoes

The type of shoes a dude wears tells you a lot about them. A dude is rocking some beat up sh*tkickers or some really soft hard bottoms, well he probably is going through some emotional turmoil in his life. Just like men who tie up their Timberland’s (workus bootus varietas). Those guys are not gangsta. But personality aside, there are some shoes I rock when my mood is less than whimsy. I’ll put on the all black everything Tims if I’m in a dark and edgy mood. If I’m in a chillaxational mood, I’m all about the Chuck Taylor’s. And when I’m feeling violent? Well, there’s only shoe for the violent man about town.

Stacy Adams. Chicago? I’m looking at you.

2. Socks

Now I’m a sock guy. None of my socks have pretty print – unless you count argyle as pretty print. And I’m not pretty, so argyle tends to be more medieval and jagged. Edgy even. I wanna be. Well, when I’m in a really fun mood, I’m pulling out the knee-high, two striped color socks, and I get my strut on, George Jefferson style. No Sherm. No boat. Point is, I tend to be in a better mood when I’m rocking my tall socks with the colored stripes. Unlike when I just have on some all white socks. Kind of makes me feel shackled. Like I don’t own myself or something. Or like I’m looking for where I came from. It’s sad really.

3. Color schemes

This one is very broad. No dames. I’m from down south so you know we have some very loud color schemes. Now, I’m not one of those loud people with the colors, but if I’m feeling in a particularly fun mood, I’ll pull out the green sweater or shirt with the fun saying on it. Green means Panama is having a good day. When I’m feeling down, it doesn’t make sense looking like the goodie goodies, dressed in white, I like black Tims and black hoodies.

Let’s open the doors…

4. Donny Hathaway

A lot of people I know only listen to Donny when they’re having a bad day. I find this ironic (though only because I do it, the dude made some fairly depressing music) because I only listen to Donny when I’m in good spirits. On the other side of things, when I’m in a bad mood, it’s all about Kidz Bop and “It’s A Small World After All.” Scar knows what I’m talking about.

5. Boxer Briefs

If I’m wearing boxer briefs, I’m generally going to have a good day and feel great about the prospects for greatness. Of course, If I have forgotten to do laundry, and I’m forced to embark on tighty whitey ness, well, it will not be a good day and I will not be the father. I don’t actually own tighty whiteys, mostly because that sounds racist. Thank you and good night.

So good people of VSB, is there anything you do or wear that affects your day? Or is there anything you do because you’re in a certain mood?

Sharing is caring.

I’m Panama.

By the way, hope you all had a Merry Christmas and that Santa brought you the toys you wanted.

-VSB P aka lower.case.p. aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka HEEEEEEEEEEEY YOU GUUUUUUUUYS! aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3