Tag Archives: plies

Happy Thanksgiving!

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To all those good people of VSB who venture here daily and comment to their hearts content, we humbly say thank you.  And we’re not just saying it either, if we could hug you all, we’d do it.  But since we can’t, you’ll just have to settle for these kind hearted words and sentiments.

With that said, I figured that today would be a perfect day to just, go down the list of things I’m greatful for.  With so much drama in the LBC bad stuff in the world, sometimes you have to just take a step back and realize all of the greatness that is out there.  And no Panama is not going all soft on you.  Heaven’s no.  I just robbed two old ladies with a slingshot and the threat of bootleg Polident, so my gangsta card is intact.

But it is Thanksgiving, the Redskins are still Indians, Liz is still protesting, and Black folks still have the itis.

So, without further ado, here are things I’m thankful for:

  • good health – with all the H1N1, STDs, and bad breath going around, I’m amazed I’m still standing, but you ain’t really freshazimiz (yay, our first Bow Wow quote)
  • my daughter’s good health – can’t say enough about this one.  That’s my heart. Plus she’s got teeth now and if she senses foolywang, she tries to bite me.
  • Plies, Gucci Mane, Bangs, etc – for providing me with hours of endless entertainment
  • The ability to read – with unemployment looking like it is right now, I’m so glad I can read the tea leaves
  • Reasonable (-ish) gas prices – I’m still driving a damn monster of a vehicle and it still drinks gas like hoes drink…well, you know…
  • Liz’s patience
  • The Champ’s ability to so defly use the shift+ key for capitalization.  He’s a tru-master at that.
  • Indoor plumbing – after hearing the tales of the toilets that were basically just holes in the ground, I’ve got a new found appreciate for the toilets in my home.  Just yesterday I dapped my toilet up and said, “good job dawg”
  • Adam Lambert’s AMA performance – if only because it’s finally good to see a white dude get in some trouble for some stuff he does on screen, even though I totally think he’s getting shafted by the networks (um, no pun intended)
  • Jay-Z’s ability to not respond to Beanie Sigel’s ridiculous barbs at him – seriously, Beanie?  Grow a pair and stop acting like a petulent child you petulant f*ck.
  • Speaking of Jay, Beyonce’s inability to know when to call it quits – seriously she needs to take some time off, but then who would women hate on?  Rihanna?? She’s still recovering from the gloom hand of the decade.
  • My girl – because she puts up with a lot.
  • Barack Obama’s first year in office – mostly because I never thought I’d say those words and the name attached was colored.  Still can’t do the Chia Obama thing though.  I’ve t-shirts, that should be enough.
  • VSB – because without this site, who would I be?  Aside from being this uber-sexxy trey-piece with an opinion and no forum?  Besides, I’m working on editing the end of Malcolm X so that all the kids say, “i am VSB”.  It’s not going so well, but I’m working on it, and I’m thankful that I have a job.
  • Running this blog sh*t – sorry, the cocksman came out of me on that one.  But I mean, you know how we do it.

Well those are just a few things I’m thankful for this Thanksgiving.  What are you all thankful for?  And don’t be shy?

Tell Uncle P all about it.

The floor is yours.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3

*Admin Note: We are taking the rest of the week off here at VSB HQ.  Enjoy your Thanksgiving and see you next week!  Also, check out guyspeak.com, where every Wednesday I post a new blog about something Girls’ BFFy.  Also, I answer folks questions every day and boy do folks ask some strange questions.  So get thee to Guyspeak.com!*

Great Expectations: Analysis & Debate on Drake's "Best I Ever Had" Video

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0drakebuzzThe most difficult position to be in for any artist is for everybody to be paying attention to what you’re doing.  In the hip-hop/R&B/Black music community, right now, Drake is that dude.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I do not understand dude’s buzz.  He’s a good rapper/singer combo guard, but I’m just not wowed.  However, I have to come to homey’s defense right now since it seems like everybody and their mama is upset at young Drizzy for his video for “Best I Ever Had”. Continue reading →

Link of The Week: Next.

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You know how normal people go out on a gazillion first and second dates and stuff to get to know people?  Well, that was never really me.  I was never dating a gazillion people.  I usually find one I like and stick to ‘em.

But I have been on my fair share of dates.  Hell, now that I think about it, I’ve been on dates where I didn’t even REALIZE I was on a date.  I remember this one particular philly.  She was a friend of a friend who was moving to DC so I offered to show her around.  Apparently you can’t offer to show people around a city without being interested.

Anywho, we go to get something to eat one day and out of nowhere she hits me with: “so where is this going?”

Me:  Um, well that bus right there goes right down by the monuments.

Her:  No, us.  What are we doing?

Me:  Us?  We’re eating dinner.  For the first time ever.  So what could you possibly be asking me?

Her:  I’m saying, are we dating or what?

Me:  I just met you.  2 hours ago.

Let’s just say her arse got nexted real quick.  Being the nice fella that I am though, I took her home that night instead of making her catch the bus like I wanted to do.  Fact is, my situation isn’t special.  There are lot of people out there who end up going out on dates with people that end up being as interesting as a Beyonce interview.  And for those that haven’t seen a Beyonce interview, that isn’t a good thing.  In fact, its quite drole and boring.

I do love her though.

So let’s say you are on a first date and realize you don’t want a second one.

Well, CNN.com has …

STOP.

I’m watching MTVJams right now and Plies video for “I Am Da Club” or something is on.  This is a terrible, terrible song.  And video.  Plies needs Jesus. This video is the a*s of videos.  I do not like John Legend either.

Anyway, CNN has come up with their own list for how not to get a second date.  It’s pretty good.  Hell, some of them remind me of things I wish I could do.  To wit:

• Inappropriate disclosure of the personal kind. You know how you’ve always really admired the curve of your brother’s bum in his too-tight pair of Wranglers? Share that little tidbit and see what happens.

• Inappropriate disclosure of the medical kind. You’ve been wondering whether that festering bump on your bikini line is a herpes sore or just an ingrown hair. Make tonight the night you get a second opinion.

• Perplexing Puppetry. All you need is a pen to draw the eyes and mouth and you’ve got yourself a Señor Wences-style hand puppet. Once your date starts getting on your nerves (and on any first date, the chances are 70/30 in favor of that happening), insist that he address his comments to the hand. Bonus points if you can up the annoyance ante with a fake foreign accent. He will think you’re a nutter, and not in a good way.

Pretty good, especially the puppetry thing.  The worst thing about that one is that your date is essentially cornered.  It ain’t like they can really go anywhere.

I have my own short list of ways to guarantee one date only:

Make everythign rhyme – I’d want to shoot you for doing this.  In fact, I think I’d be pissed.  Dammit, that wasn’t supposed to rhyme.  I just can’t stop myself, it should be a crime.  F*CK.

Sneeze a lot - Follow me with this one.  One of my boys broke up with a chick because she blew her nose too much.  Just imagine being on a date with somebody who sneezed every 2 seconds.  I’d never call them again.  I’d think they were allergic to me.

Jab them in the neck – Pretty much guarantees that they’ll never ever want to see you again.

That’s just my short list.  What say you ?  Any of you all gotten out of dealing with somebody for a second date by doing something outlandish?  What are some other ways to secure a one-date-only diet?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST