Tag Archives: perception

Why All Women Should Empathize With Ray J

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Y'all forgot I smanged Whitney too, huh? I mean, I know, it's Whitney and that means I tagged a crackhead. It happens.

Let’s just get this out of the way from the beginning: Willie Ray Norwood, Jr aka Ray J is a clown. If f*cksh*t was an Olympic sport, I feel like Ray J would be a Kenyan running any long distance event. He’d be Michael Phelps at a backyard swim meet. He’d be a mortal lock as victor. And yet somehow, Ray-J has been relevant (yes, relevant) for over 10 years. Now that relevance could be that we’ve been clowning him for that long. But the truth is, it takes a special talent to be around in entertainment that long (without being a lawyer) when nobody can actually figure out any discernible talent that you have.

See Combs, Sean.

Speaking of Puffy, I mentioned this on Twitter, but isn’t it amazing that despite the fact that we clown the hell out of Ray J, nearly every person that we think is somebody loves dude? Think about the Floyd fight. Ray J was hanging with Puffy, Floyd, and 50. Snoop is his first cousin and loves him. Suge Knight used to co-sign him. He banged Kim K before it was popular. If you found out that he smanged Amber Rose before Kanye would you even be surprised at this point? I wouldn’t be surprised if Jay-Z and Beyonce named him as the Godfather of their golden goose (though I’m guessing Ty-Ty would be mad as hell). Aside from Fabolous…have we heard of anybody who subjectively mattered, so to speak, really clowning him or having anything ill to say towards him. Sure they probably think he’s a cornball, but he does happen to come off as the most genuine cornball on the planet. Like, if he asked you how your day was going, he’d really want to know the answer. And he likes to have fun. So he’s a nice guy who likes to have fun and take care of his friends. Or at least that’s the perception.

And yes, I’m a Ray J fan. Dude entertains me beyond belief. And he’s ignorant as all hell. That’s how I like my entertainment. I’ve downloaded all of his albums and have yet to delete most of them.

Anyway back to the lecture at hand. I find it interesting that women seem to be his biggest haters when in all truth, all women should completely understand his plight. Let’s break down the Ray J plight.

If Ray J could have one wish, it would be respect. That’s his biggest boon. Real or perceived. That was the crux of his ridiculous tirade. He wants respect. He’s got fly hoes in chains and swangin’ thangs. He’s just another young ninja havin’ thangs. The things he believes should garner him respect don’t. Nobody gives a sh*t. He’s tired of being humble all the time and taking the high road and pretending to be above listening to folks joke on him when he’s doing nothing more than being himself. He’s tired of being the butt of jokes. He just wants respect and to be able to do him without everybody treating him like he ain’t worth a damn.

Hmmm…

Isn’t that what most women seek out? Respect? Women work hard to get degrees and do what they thinks is right and all of us cromagnon men reduce you all to your “bare” essentials. We don’t care about your brain, we care how you look. Aren’t women getting tired of being told why they won’t get married and why they ain’t measuring up? And being ridiculed from everything from the roota to the toota? And being labeled as angry or difficult whenever a differing opinion is expressed and therefore having to suppress a lot of non-sense and go-along-to-get-along?

Like most women, Ray J wants to be loved or left alone.

Can he live?

Apparently not. At the end of the day, duke just wants to be a nice guy who has fun and gets into occasional-to-fairly-frequent shenanigans. And we stay clowning him…mostly because he exists. Does he try to hard? Sure. For all you bougie ninja capital residents, the majority of cats we know try to hard in some area. We’re all trying to play some part. The funny sh*t is, most dudes want to live the life that he leads (as was stated in the comments yesterday). Including many of the folks clowning him.

Most women I know just want to be respected enough to walk down the street without some dude yelling out some thing outwardly ridiculous and trivializing her existence. Hell, I think its part of, if not the whole, reason so many women don’t smile when they walk down the street. They are trying to avoid the disrespectful comments by showing a hardened visage that should be a deterrent from speaking. She’s just trying to get where she’s going with the least amount of f*ckery. In an odd way, that, again, is Ray J’s struggle. He’s famous. The women seem to love him. He’s rich. He’s young. He’s got a good life and folks stay treating him like an R. Kelly urinal.

Ladies, between Drake and Ray J, you’ve got two men who are standing for the very essences of your being. Plus, Ray J likes to trick…he believes that shawty got gifts. And at the end of the day, anytime you’re feeling down, he’ll be there. Just wait a minute. What does that have to do with the price of Magnums in Asia? Nothing. But it was a good question.

Does Ray J get a fair shake? No Floyd. And ladies, why do you all clown Ray J so much when he’s doing everything he can to push for women’s rights? That’s just not nice.

Talk to me. Petey.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka RAY J’S PUBLICIST aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3

link of the week: oversexed…or not

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95?

80?

91?

105?

a couple years ago, i served on a county-wide teen pregnancy prevention board, composed of 30 or so members of social service agencies and nonprofits in the greater pittsburgh area.

we’d meet bi-monthly, eating catered jimmy johns while cementing happy hour plans and discussing new and unique ways to convey “stop f*cking!!!!” to all of the teens in allegheny county.

although i’d usually spend most of my time there devising theories on why women with, ummm, “relaxed” sexual standards seem to be disproportionately represented in social service occupations (my best theory? guilt), i did pay enough attention to be able to recite and recall a few surprising statistics. one in particular stood out above the rest.

the four numbers at the beginning represent the usual answers i receive when asking someone…

“if you had to guess, what percentage of high school students would you say are sexually active?”

obviously, in this oversexualized era of bust-it-babies, club window skeet, lug’s (lesbians until graduation), pregnancy packs, exposed snizzle backfat, and mclovin, those numbers should be astronomical, right? i mean, when we were in school, teachers taught you how to read right…not how to lay pipe. sh*t, nowadays kids are probably running trains in 3rd grade, using the fruit-rollups their 15 year old mothers packed for their lunches as makeshift edible condoms. right?

wrong

the answer (48%) is just more evidence that our perception of us being “oversexed” is a stark contrast to the reality, a concept further addressed in tara parker-pope’s “the myth of rampant teenage promiscuity”, an article published in the new york times debunking a few commonly-held notions.

“there is a group of kids who engage in sexual behavior, but it’s not really significantly different than previous generations,” said maria kefalas, an associate professor of sociology at st. joseph’s university in philadelphia and co-author of “promises i can keep: why poor women put motherhood before marriage” (university of california press, 2005). “this creeping up of teen pregnancy is not because so many more kids are having sex, but most likely because more kids aren’t using contraception.”

although this focuses on teens, i believe that this commonly held idea of rampant promiscuity transcends age. it seems like promiscuous adults assume that everyone else is promiscuous, and, for whatever reason, unpromiscuous adults assume that theyre the only one who arent promiscuous, despite factual data that proving the contrary.

also, despite what many of us would like to believe, sex was not invented in 1998. the few of us who are “gotdamning” every night aint the first, and certainly wont be the last people on the planet to do it. sh*t, baby-boomers are called baby-boomers because there was a baby-boom as a result of all the f*cking our grandparents were doing!!

so, people of vsb, do you agree? is our perception of what’s happening in the bedrooms and bar bathrooms of america deeply flawed? if so, why? what factors have contributed to this line of thinking?

—the champ