“Digital Penetration” At SXSW: Saturday, March 9th

Gallery

This gallery contains 1 photo.

If at SXSW in Austin this weekend and looking for an hour of laughs, entertainment, and education, rent a couple episodes of 30 Rock. If that’s not possible, join The Champ, Kaneisha Grayson, Demetria Lucas, and Arielle Loren for a … Continue reading

All I Want For…A Black Man’s Wishlist

On Monday, December 3rd, in Washington, DC, I’m going to be apart of a panel discussion entitled “A Black Man’s Wishlist”. Dr. J from SBM will also be apart of this convo and has written a similarly titled post (you can read it here). It’s a panel directed at what Black men wish for within relationships.

Well, I figured that since the vast majority of VSBers don’t live in DC and hence won’t be able to attend this panel on Monday, that we should have an interesting convo about it here that may help illuminate some of the very things that will be said and occur on said panel. Basically, let’s just tear apart gender relations between men and women. Plus it’s Christmastime and if there’s one thing that’s synonymous with Christmahanukwanzaakah it’s wishlists. Word to my offspring.

Sidenote: I actually think that a “man’s” wishlist and a “Black man’s” wishlist are going to be remarkably similar. Men, for the most part are fairly consistent at being men. Race only matters for the nuance and the size of the ass you prefer. And even then you can get okeydoked with a Black woman with no ass and a white woman with a donk. God has a sense of humor. And Jesus has a 6-pack.

Of spirits.

Holy ones.

Amen.

I’m here every Tuesday. Well, every other Tuesday. Except holidays.

CALL ME NOW!

So what is on a Black man’s wishlist, you ask? Good question. And don’t worry ladies, I’m going to ask you for your wishlist too. But let’s pretend like it’s 1947 and you can’t vote. Hmmm, I couldn’t vote then either, huh. Well, I’ll be. Let’s just move on and say, “wait your turn.”

1. A clean slate

Fellas, have you ever had a chick say to you something like, “all I ask is that you don’t do XYZ. My ex used to do that and it drove me crazy.” That, mi amigas, is a very bad way to start a conversation. For one, it implies that you clearly are in your feelings and are going to be extra vigilant in that one area. And it ALSO implies that even the most on-the-fence determination of whatever it is you hate is going to lead to an argument. Leave your ex in the past. Listen to Ne-yo for a while, let him love you, until you learn to love yourself, THEN come thru and let me f*ck up our relationship on my own merits. K? Thanks. Bye.

2. Loyalty

Look, I know, a Black man asking for loyalty reeks of double standardism at worst and naivete at best. But we’re talking a wish list right? That implies a certain optimistic disregard for reality and whether or not you deserve it right? Halle Berry? Hallelujah? Word. So, most Black men want a total ride or die chick which sometimes involves just shutting up and letting us lead or blindly trusting or believing in us. Why do you think so many athletes marry women that don’t seem to fit the athlete stereotype? (They do eventually divorce them for usually much more attractive prototypes, but hey, respect the shooter). Knowing that you’ve got a woman who unequivocally has your back is something that many of us want – though honestly, blind loyalty is also a sign of zealotness in my opinion, so perhaps I have no idea what I’m talking about here.

Personally, I don’t value loyalty over all other things. I expect it because I give it, but I’m not going to trumpet a woman’s loyalty as a sign that I need to lock it down. Hell, that might make her blinded by own vision of what she thinks she wants versus the reality of the situation. Or at least that’s my interpretation of the situation.

3. Level – headed

Sounds like a no brainer. Every woman is going to say, “this list is stupid, you need to date better women.” VSB Unicorn Gangsta Clique. And ain’t nobody fresher than my clique, clique, clique, clique, clique. However, a lot of ninjas on here are full of sh*t. Every woman isn’t level headed, just like every man here isn’t as emotionless and logic-drive as we claim. So ideally, we’d like a woman who keeps her cool before she blows a gasket over something trivial. Realizes that everything isn’t a big deal. Knows that just because you have a friend that’s a woman doesn’t mean that you have slept with her or are going to. Now, mama didn’t raise no fools either so nobody expects her to get run over. And I’d wager that most men don’t want to seriously date a woman who operates as a doormat.

4. A chick who makes decisions.

Scrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Hol’ up hol’ up. I have to make decisions all day, P. Sometimes its nice to come home and not have to figure everything out. Why can’t you just take over then.

I feel you, boo. I said I do I do I do I do I do. But here’s the problem – and it’s not a new one. Me making decisions means me making decisions. Not me making a decision and you 86ing it because even though you don’t know what you want, you know what you don’t want. Like R. Kelly, I wish that you’d either make a decision or just go along for the ride. I also have to make decisions all day and then I have to come home and hope I’m making a decision you like? Nah boo. I study P-I-M-P ology, and logically, be learning these chicks biology, and obviously well…I say hush puppies, we eatin’ hush puppies.

5. Self-confidence and security

While it is not my job to make you more secure as a woman, it is definitely important that I not make you insecure. I’ll do my best. I may suck at it sometimes, but I promise to try to lift you up whenever I can. However, you have to show up high on yourself too. You need to smoke yourself up a bit, smell me? One of the sexxiest things on the planet is a woman with confidence. She doesn’t need to be the type to make others feel below her, but she knows who she is and what she brings to the table. That is sexxy and the woman who carries it the right way is going to win constantly. There’s nothing more engaging and alluring than a first conversation with a woman who is so sure of herself while you know you’re sure of yourself and the jockeying and jostling that occurs during the intial back and forth. A woman who will give you back whatever you dish out but in a fun and non-degrading manner. A woman who doesn’t have to make somebody who did her wrong feel like less than a human but let them know that she also isn’t to be trifled with.

Real talk, look at gawd.

Those are some of the things on a Black man’s wishlist. There are probably a million others. My brothas, what’s on yours. And ladies, what is on your wish list.

And by the way, there were no shots taken during the writing of this post. Get out of your feelings.

What’s on your wishlist??

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. STEAL YOUR GIRL THEN GIVE HER BACK BETTER aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

DMV: A Black Man’s Wishlist – Monday, December 3, 2012, from 7-9PM, hosted by Krystal Glass. Tickets available at www.krystalglassempire.com

Come out and be apart of the convo at Busboys & Poets at 5th and K Streets, NW on Monday. See you there!

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST…MAKE SURE YOU RSVP FOR REMINISCE, THE PARTY DEDICATED TO ALL 90S EVERYTHING!!! FREE WITH RSVP BEFORE 11PM!!!! COME HANG WITH THE COOLEST NINJAS ON THE PLANET AND DRANK FREE TIL 1030! RSVP: http://reminiscedc.eventbrite.com

 

Not From Florida, But Whatup FAM: FAMU Recap

As you all know here, I was just invited to participate in a forum about the edification of Black men down at Florida A&M University (FAMU for the Black-colleged). As we also know, a lot of you have no clue what edification means. Please go look it up. Thank you.

You back? Great.

On this panel was myself, Dr. Steve Perry of CNN’s Black in America 2 fame, Enitan Bereola (author of the book, Bereolaesque, a sort of guide for men about being grown and sexxy and more Diddy-like), and rapper Wale (you probably know him from the you know…)

So pretty much, I was (and still am) the low man on the totem pole. Enitan is FAMU alumni and seemed damn near like FAMU royalty, Dr. Steve Perry is the only lightskinned man in America that all women seem to want, and Wale is, well a rapper. Nobody (well very few people) knew or seemed to give a flying f*ck who I was initially. Hell, even the article writeups and promo stuff in advance more or less mentioned me in passing. Not that I’m offended or anything, I get it, it’s just funny to go somewhere and realize nobody knows who you are and couldn’t care less when there are other famous people around.

So clearly, being the sexxy motherf*cker that I am, I decided that I’d make it a point to make myself memorable. Which if you’ll remember, I’m a 3, so it was a daunting task to say the least. Hell, radio interviews were conducted with all of the panelists…except, um, me. I’m not sure if that was due to timing or because I need to start a “Who is Panama Jackson” campaign but nonetheless, it’s just an interesting feeling to going from being known around one medium to being a virtual unknown in the real world.

Dr. Perry was extremely cool and very “real”. He is exactly who you saw on TV. Though I will say I expected him to be much taller. He’s probably my height or a little shorter, and I ain’t tall. Enitan was cool as his book suggested, toothpick and all. He essentially created an adjective out of his name. He took my sexxy schtick to a whole new level and wrote a book about his methods for conducting himself in life.

Wale. What can one say about Wale? He was initially standoffish at first. Once again, I’m a nobody so I chalked it up to that but he was like that with everybody. Just hella chill. For those that know me, hella chill is something I don’t do. I’m always on so it was hard for me to understand a celebrity falling back so hard. But he opened up at some point (to me at least), after they mentioned that I was from DC and went to UMD for grad school. Which further proves that while in DC, us Black men hate eachother, but outside of the District, it’s all love

The panel itself was pretty dope though I’ll say I felt that we were preaching to the choir a lot. I mean technically, we’re talking to the people that need to hear it the least. College me and women SHOULD be the cream of the crop and the people who already know that they have to go back and institute change in order for us to progress as a people. Then again, I also went to college, at one of those institutions considered to be a beacon of light and all that non-sense and some of the most ignant ninjas in America went to school with me. So perhaps we were talking to the right and wrong people at the same time. We talked about the Black community, the hip-hop community, the media, and women’s impact on Black men and vice versa. Truthfully, the hour and some change slotted wasn’t nearly enough time to really delve into most of the issues but it’s a definite start. Or at least it should be. I would assume that the point of this forum was kind of a jumping off point for future endeavors and the like. Or maybe for a lot of folks it was a Wale concert with an opening act of a bunch of cats telling them that they needed to do better (something I said a few times). I think the panel went well and I’d love to do more of that but like I said, when you talk about the Black community, no amount of time is enough to really delve into the issues, especially talking about Black men. Add to the fact that you’ve got two long winded ninjas (myself and Dr. Perry; that dude can talk) and you really don’t cover as much ground as necessary.

But after the fact, quite a few students talked to me individually about what I’d said and felt I contributed nicely so that was a bonus. At least I wasn’t up there sounding like a dude who ain’t sexxy. I also felt like I at least left an impression. As the most unknown unknown cat up there, I had a job to do and I felt I did it. Blew some opportunities though because we STILL don’t have business cards so all these men wanted to keep in touch and I had to pray they either copied my info down right or can remember the VSB name.

All in all, it was a good experience, save for the chick who pissed on herself in the middle of the forum.

And yes you read that right. FAMU – we got to do better.

Special shout out to Kianta Key who I take it was the overall organizer and really did a phenomenal job managing personalities and an event at a Black school – which means exactly what you think it means. There were a gang of great folks I met at FAMU and I was really happy to be apart of something that I felt made a real difference, unlike my day job. It kind of made me want to return to teaching, specifically at an HBCU. Also, shout out to the cat John Sellers, who created the Mt. Rushmore graphic so many people were hitting me up about. Great guy and really talented, and he also runs this site, Freedom Theory.

And a special shout out to the FAMU community at large and all the new folks I met who added me on twitter forcing me to have to twitter (tweet?) more.

Hopefully, I can find someway to keep contributing to their cause down there. For me it wasn’t just some sh*t to do, it was an opportunity to help make a difference. Just talking about it isn’t enough for me. I’m a Black man and me and my brothers need help. Folks like Dr. Perry make a difference everyday. That needs to be me.

Well that’s the abridged (trust me, I could write a solid 3000 words about all the f*ckery involved in my trip) version. Very Smart Brothas are carving our niche in the world and hopefully this was just a beginning.

Thanks for having a brotha.

Recap. Recapped.

Word.Life.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3