Deuces, 2012

Coming soon…

So, since this will be the last VSB post of 2012—I know, I know, I know. It’s tragic. Please try not to cry too much—we’d like to end the year with a couple updates about what’s going on with us now and what to look forward to in 2013.

***When you come back in January, there will be some very noticeable changes with the site. Won’t go into detail about what exactly that’ll entail, but yeah. Things will just be…different.

***The filming and editing process with our TV Pilot is almost complete. Although the site won’t be active for the next couple of weeks, our Twitter and Facebook pages will still be updated.

***We’re also going to start distributing the gifts promised to those who contributed. Those should be coming in the next few weeks.

***Book #2 is in the works. Won’t give away too much about that yet, but will say that it has, um, something to do with this. 

***If you find yourself missing words written by VSB over the next couple of weeks, you can always find me at Ebony.com and Madame Noire and Panama at Guyspeak

That’s about it, folks. We hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday experience, and if the world doesn’t end in the next couple of days, we’ll see you all in 2013!

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”) 

Madame Noire Web Series “Ask A Black Man” Featuring Panama Jackson: The S.E.X. Episode

Two weeks ago, Liz and Madame Noire premiered the inaugural episode of their web-series “Ask A Black Man” where a panel of ninjas, including myself, were asked various questions about what life was like for a single Black male.

Shenanigans ensued. Hell, the comments section over at Madame Noire resembled what I’m fairly certain our forefathers were afraid of: democracy gone wrong. Yes, it’s true everybody does have a voice, but they really never should have given some of you ninjas freedom keyboards.

Well, because Liz apparently likes starting fires as much as I do [Liz's edit: LOL YES, I DO!], I’m back for a second episode, which happens to be the third episode. This is the sex episode where a different panel of hombres talk about coyotes mulattoes staplers economics sex. Also, as the series drops a new episode every Wednesday, for those of you who missed last week’s because we didn’t pub it here, feel free to go check it out. It features the homey Streetz from SingleBlackMale.org.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy the vibe as Panama and a gang of ninjas wax philosophical about the three letter word we all love. Pressy play. Diddy. (Or go check it out at Madame Noire!)

 
P.S. The full and uncut version of this episode will air on Ask A Black Man at 6pm EST tonight. It will feature more questions, more answers and all around a fun time. Make sure you log on to Madame Noire to see it.

Casting “Your Degrees Won’t Keep You Warm At Night” — The Movie

Coming to a dollar theater or barbershop bootlegger near you

So, after (half)jokingly mentioning that the upcoming “Act Like A Lady, Think Like a Man” movie means that the “Your Degrees…” flick can’t be far off, a few people ran with that idea in the comments section and on Twitter; having their own “auditions” where they named which actors and actresses should play Liz, Panama, and I. They each also took it a step further and (of course) put themselves in the movie and cast that role as well.

Hmm. Sounds like a great idea for a Friday.

If I were casting the VSB movie…

Casting The Champ

To cast a convincing me, I’d need an actor who can pull off the dry (and occasionally inappropriate) deadpan humor thing; a guy who’s laidback and may seem shy at first but is surprisingly (and completely) arrogant. He’d also need a smart-aleck/sarcastic streak, and he’d need to look like he was capable of being a college basketball player at one point in his life. Having an accent no one has ever heard before would help, too.

I saw that Isiah Washington was mentioned on Twitter, but although we definitely know he’s available, he’s like 20 years older than me. I thought of Donald Glover because he could definitely pull off the deadpan/dry humor thing and the laidback thing, but I might be a foot taller than him and I probably outweigh him by 100 pounds.

This leaves us with two actors. Anthony Mackie Rob Brown (just off of the strength of his role/performance in Finding Forrester) and Craig Robinson. Who I’d end of choosing between the two depends on the director (more on that later)

***Also thought about putting Jay Pharoah here, but I need to see if he can act outside of SNL***

Casting Panama Jackson

For P, you’d need a guy with an oversized personality who doesn’t hold his tongue. An extrovert, life of the party type who’s also a bit more thoughtful and sensitive (and smarter) than he wants people to believe. Basically, while The Champ is the “nice guy” who’s secretly kind of an asshole, the Panama character would have to be the opposite. He’d also need to be a guy who you can see shifting from the corporate/conservative office setting to Chucks and Levi’s with ease, and it would definitely help if this actor had some “southern-ness” to him as well.

Honestly, the first name that came to mind was Vince Vaughn, but he doesn’t work for obvious reasons. Terrance Howard has the secretly sensitive asshole thing down pact, but I don’t want Mr. Wet Wipes anywhere near this project. I thought of J. D. Williams too, but I just can’t see Bodie Broadus ever being a responsible dad and holding down a “square” 9 to 5.

Again, who I decide on depends on the director, but right now the two best candidates seem to be Donald Faizon (Who I think would be perfect) and Ice Cube Mos Def.

***I know P’s biracial, but aside from The Rock and Vin Diesel, there aint all that many biracial actors running around to choose from***

Casting Liz

Liz is the easiest casting decision. You’d need an actress who could be a professional devil’s advocate/hater with a secretly vicious sense of humor, but a true heart of gold. You’d also need to hire a woman who could realistically be an M.I.T. grad (sorry LisaRaye), who thinks she has hoodrat tendencies but really doesn’t. Lastly, she definitely needs to have some “Valley Girl” in her.

Jennifer Hudson, Maya Rudolph, and Tracee Ellis Ross all came to mine, but for this role, regardless of the director, I’d go with a newcomer, Issa Rae — a woman who many of you know as The Awkward Black Girl.

***Mindy Kaling and Angela Nissel could both definitely work here too***

The Director

If we’re going straight comedy, it has to be Judd Apatow. If we’re going for more of a dark comedy/drama feel, I’d like Stephen Frears, Ted Witcher or (as a wildcard) the Coen brothers. (Wanted to put Tarantino here, but I just don’t think he’d fit with the material)

If we’re going all black everything, I’d pull Robert Townsend’s ass out of retirement and let him and the entire Wayans crew take a stab at it.

Anyway, budding VSB producers and casting agents, who would you cast in the VSB movie? Also, don’t limit it to Liz, Panama, and I. Please put yourself in the movie, and if you’d like, your favorite VSB regulars as well. Who would play you?

The red carpet is yours.

—The Champ