Tag Archives: Obama

Angry Ninja Rhetoric and Best Practices

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Take the exact opposite of every characteristic of this man in this picture and you've got an angry ninja. He did marry a white woman though.

If you know Black people that read, then you know an angry ninja. Chances are you’re looking at one right now…assuming you know that you’re looking at a ninja. But if you are, and they are angry, I’d suggest that you stop.

Because they’re angry.

Now, let me be upfront and clear about this. Every Black person has a right to be angry. And hostile. I watched The Rise Of The Planet of The Apes and got upset. That’s not true, but if I was an angry ninja, then it would be. Because angry ninjas are really just extremely loud versions of conspiracy theorists. The main difference is that instead of just stating what the conspiracy is, they also get mad at you while telling you what it is. Somehow everybody is at fault when an angry ninja is present. And there’s ALWAYS something to be mad about. It’s like the reverse Obama with a side of Al Sharpton.

And no, that didn’t make any sense.

You might be asking yourself: are angry ninjas dangerous? Absolutely. They pose a tremendous danger to peace and quiet. And your good time. While they can be tremendously fun, the angry ninja is much like the puma. Sleek and stealthy, and if you aren’t careful, they’ll end up getting their own shoe.

To be more clearer, I’m a fan of angry ninjas. Truth is, they bring that necessary amount of chaos to any and all conversations that keeps the mood interesting and all your Christmases bright. Though I’m not completely sure angry ninjas believe in Christmas. They tend to get mad at how much they have to spend supporting the white man’s businesses.

“You there, in the Huey Newton Goes To Malibu High t-shirt, do you have a question?”

“Yes, what are the signs of an angry ninja?”

“Glad you asked.”

1. They start every convesation with a hesitant but climactically built up…”Yooo…” or a very quick and shart…”Yo!” (no Kappa)

Real talk, that’s how you know you’re about to get an earful about something you didn’t know you were supposed to give a sh*t about. See, starting any convo off with a “Yo” means that something of immense importance is about to follow. Why? Good question. It’s an indicator of something that’s been on the angry ninjas mind. They just haven’t had the chance to explore it with you yet. Be careful, you’re about to get hit with the hee.

2. “F*ck you ni**a, I got passion!”

You ever notice how extra angry folks aren’t really angry…they’re just passionate? You could take the passion of the Christ, thug passion, passion fruit, throw in a side of mango and you STILL wouldn’t have as much “passion” as an angry ninja. They get so emotionally invested in whatever it is that pissed them off (usually something to do with the oppressive power structure…or something they saw in a Disney movie) and how the rest of us don’t care enough (which in a bit of non-irony, tends to make angry ninjas more angry if you blow their tirade off) that you could probably incite one into a felony if you push the right buttons. The interesting part is, a lot, if not most of that anger is misguided…

…in fact….

3. The most oddball beefs

You know, I actually applaud the angry ninjas efforts in racial reconciliation and reparatory comeuppance. If only these jokers didn’t get up in arms about the most non-sensical of sh*t. Like that article a few months ago written by the white chick about Black Twitter. Angry ninjas were LIVID that this white woman would have any say so about what us Blacks were doing on Twitter and how amused she seemed to be by it. Here’s the thing…WE’RE ALL AMUSED BY IT TOO. But she ain’t have the right to say it because she didn’t have proper context because she was white. Fair enough….except…my ni**a…THAT’s the battle you chose to fight? ‘Pac is gone and Brenda’s still throwing babies in the garbage. I’m not really sure what topics always set off angry Black people, but rarely do they have anything to do with something you’ll care about ten minutes later…like the economy.

4. Not angry, opinionated.

Similar to passion and equally ridiculous. This one, (like most of this in truth) is a general person thing. Folks who are mad but who don’t want to be know as being mad hate to be called mad. They’re just passionate, opinionated people. Okay. Alright.

5. Seem to be attracted to the very people they hate the most, in theory

Is it me, but has anybody else noticed how many angry Black people marry white people? Or date them…almost exclusively? Or how about date the most ignant sumamab*tches known to man? The people who incite the most rage are the very ones angry ninjas spend most of their time with. It is an odd little dance. Angry ninjas do the cat daddy.

Again, I love my angry ninjas.

Good people of VSB, what are the other signs of of the angry ninja?

Talk to me.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka MR. AFTER LAUGHTER COMES TEARS aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Conscious? Rappers.

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Somebody asked me to teach this class so that means I'm smart. Ask me something important about US-Sino relations. The answer is the same though..."ballin'"

And for the sticklers, I”m aware that the actual lyric goes, “…dumb rappers need teaching/lesson A (don’t f*ck with B.I.)…”

Many moons ago, Chuck D likened hip-hop to the Black CNN. In his estimation, there was a time when hip-hop was largely reporting the thoughts, situations, and circumstances of the inner city. Well, times they are a changin’. Most rappers today, and specifically mainstream rappers are doing as much glorifying of those circumstances under the guise of “telling it like it is” as they are lying about the fact that most of them haven’t done or been apart of 90 percent of the non-sense they’re rapping about.

Which is why, understandably, when we get rappers who seem to not only read, but are able to articulate their societal views and sometimes revolutionary rhetoric into lyric form, we all exhale. Nas’ Illmatic is a poetic masterpiece even if its proprietor is about as articulate as a 3-year old explaining quantum physics when it comes to defending any stance he may or may not have taken in rhyme form. Oh well, it isn’t like they get called out on much of what they say anyway. Only a select few rappers get asked their true opinions on anything in an arena where actual pundits, wonks, and analysts get the chance to debate back and forth. That list generally includes…well…Lupe Fiasco.

I’ve made my opinions on Lupe Fiasco pretty clear. I’m not a fan. Dude is the posterchild for unrealized potential. He’s the 2000s version of Canibus. All of the lyrical ability in the world without the ability (it seems) to get those incredible thoughts out in a cogent and coherent fashion. He’s all flashes of brilliance and unfinished concepts. Yet somehow, people seem to think that young Wasalu is some sort of political activist or “intellectual” along the lines of Cornel West or Micheal Eric Dyson (two brothers I’m not fans of either).

I guess I hate everybody. So everybody wins.

I can’t tell you how many random interviews I’ve seen where Lupe has been asked his opinion because of how well he puts verses together. I guess it makes sense. If you can write that well, you should be able to transfer that intelligence into spoken word. Fair enough. And he’s not inarticulate. He’s just not as quick on his feet as he is when he’s got hours and months to write a verse.

You know where I’m going with this. In his song, “Words I Never Said” he calls Obama a terrorist (as well as the entire American government) then goes on Bill O’Reilly to defend his position and states some mumbo jumbo about US foreign policy motivating terrorism, states that all presidents are terrorists, etc.  Admittedly, the O’Reilly Factor’s editors had a field day with the tape so who knows what may or may not have been said between the cuts.

Here’s the point though: A lot of folks were up in arms at this non-voting armchair politician but some people came to Lupe’s defense with his statement about Obama and US foreign policy being at fault for terrorist acts. Except much like Lupe, 90 percent of people sounded like conspiracy theorists with completely unsubstantiated claims. Most people were basically pissing in the wind. But some good points were brought up, namely, we’re only mad because it’s Obama he’s talking about.

Fair.

If somebody said that about Bush, nobody would question it. True. And you know what, that’s also idiotic. In Jadakiss’s song “Why” he says, “why did Bush knock down the towers?” and folks were all like, “yeah…why DID Bush knock down the towers?”

And you know what? That was stupid too. I remember Jadakiss got some kind of recognition as being a thinking man’s rapper after that and when folks asked him about it he sounded like a dolt stammering his way through his times tables trying to defend what was a ridiculous statement to begin with. The only difference in the two situations is that 1) all Black folks basically hated Bush anyway so nobody was really going to question that; and 2) nobody outside of the hood cares about what Jadakiss has to say about anything that affects our lives. Somehow Lupe gets placed into this thinking man’s realm and media outlets reach out to him for his opinion on real sh*t despite the fact that I’m fairly certain nothing he’s ever rapped about has transcended the world of conjecture and random musings. But he’s a rapper…that’s rapper sh*t. Which is all well and good…until we get called out on it.

This really isn’t even all about Lupe. Any number of so-called “conscious” rappers generally are as misinformed and uneducated about any number of things once they get past generalities and vagueness.

I don’t even know if these rappers hold themselves to the same standards we hold them too. I’m sure Lupe thinks he can hang with the Sean Hannity’s and Keith Olbermann’s of the world, but learned professors can’t even hang. But these ninjas don’t learn. Maybe that’s our fault for blowing rainbows up their arses. Pun. Pause. 20 Seconds.

In fact, the only rappers I’ve ever really seen hold their own in policy matters have been Ludacris, KRS-One, Chuck D, 50 Cent, Bun B and ironically Cam’ron until the “no snitching” scandal. I’ll stop here, but I wonder…

…do we hold our conscious rappers to too high a standard? Or do we have any real expectations from them outside of rapping that differs from what we expect from the Rick Ross’s and Lil Waynes of the world?

Basically, do you think that the rappers we label as being smart from an intellectual framework are actually…smart?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka YOUNG P DA FLY THIEF aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Landmark Moments In The Black Community – The B-Sides

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We black, we know it. We dancing. It's our birthday. Booty butt cheeks. Booty butt cheeks.

This has been a good week for Black people. Really, it’s been a good week for those of common sense but I figured I’d just skip the niceties and go right to where I care the most, my kahmrunitee. Tyrese. Obama’s (military) accomplishment and ensuing speech will be remembered long time like a favor from an Asian chick who works at Happy Endings Got Me Working Day and Nite Spa. While it’s not nearly on the same plateau as Dr. King’s “I Have A Dream” speech, or the assassination of Malcolm X – and Martin for that matter – as landmark events in the Black community go, for current day ninjas, it’s our moment. They’re the kind of moments you will remember forever. Even if you weren’t even alive for them. They resonate.

You know, like the OJ Simpson verdict.

From Brown vs. Board of Ed to Alice Walker’s The Color Purple to Michael Jackson taking that final Moonwalk towards the sky, the Black community has a lot of moments that are and will be commemorated for eons to come. Little martian children will read about great accomplishments and beam…possibly up Scotty, but a beam is a beam.

But you know, there are also some events that are AS significant (okay not really) that don’t get nearly as much attention. You know how on old vinyl records, there was always a B-side record? It wasn’t as good as the hit on the A-side, but intended to get some attention and pull for the artist as well. We here in the Black community have a lot of B-side moments. Such as?

Glad you asked.

1) The death of Ricky

I don’t care how old you are, you know that Ricky’s dead. In fact, any time I see a Black man running, I’m compelled to yell out RIIIIIIIICKY!!!!! with the force of three titans and two foster children named Shane. Boyz N The Hood was our first real look at South Central from a place we could care about, unlike Colors. We cared and when Ricky got shot, we cried. I remember seeing it as 12 year old and begging my uncle to never take me to South Central. Why? I didn’t want to get shot like Ricky. ZIG ZAG RICKY!!!! DON’T RUN STRAIGHT!!!!

Speaking of deaths…not quite on par but close enough….

2) The death of Stringer Bell

I promise you that I heard screams in my apartment building when Stringer got shot. Despite him being the one character I was ROOTING for to get murked, something about Stringer resonated to all of us. Every woman wanted him and every man wanted to be him. Again, DESPITE the fact that he might have been the most shady, ruthless, f*cked up character on the show. And if that was a spoiler, then let me add this too…

2a) Bodie getting bodied on the corner

Probably didn’t hurt as much but dammit if it wasn’t hard to see the one dude you really liked just as a straight up soldier catch a bad one.

3) Nipplegate

It’s the point where we realized that it really was us against them. Justin sold out Janet and never looked back. Her career never really recovered and she was forced at gunpoint to do Tyler Perry movies. She participated in one of the most retarded scenes in cinematic history…oh and that scene would be the ENTIRE film Why Did I Get Married Too. Justin went about his business to make more millions and just be white. All over a nipple. Who hasn’t seen one of those. I’m looking at one right now. Damn shame.

4) Halle Berry bares her boobs in Swordfish

Just a personal landmark for me. Nothing more, nothing less. The guys I was with? We all stood up to clap. Nobody cared though, that movie sucked donkey nuts.

5) Tupac/Biggie/rapper deaths

I’ll bet more ninjas know the birth and death dates of Tupac and Biggie than King or Malcolm X. Young and old.

6) The Game Season 4 premiere

Apparently it was the most highly watched cable program after the summer solstice but before the winter solstice on a Tuesday in November both before and after 8pm while going up on the downstroke. Or something. Point is, more of you ninjas watched the Game season premiere than would show up to a rally on education inequality. That says something. What? I don’t know. I was watching it too.

7) Whitney Houston tells us that “crack is wack”

Just like everybody else, I watched that interview and saw Bobby sweating like he stole something. Then Whitney hits us with the quote that will live longer than she will, “crack is wack”. She also asked for a receipt for all the drugs she’d done which subsequently showed up online a few days later. Notably, nobody believed her.

8) Some guy gives Tyler Perry a check to put on a stage play

Somewhere in Atlanta, a homeless Tyler Perry finishes up a manuscript for a terribly predictable and horribly written stage play starring him as a woman. He added some gospel, some really long songs, and a cast of other ninjas nobody’s heard about, and convinced somebody to give him the money for that first show. The rest as they say, is showbiz history. Nobody can pinpoint the moment where it all went left, but it happened. Spike Lee’s guitar gently weeps. Or it would if he could figure out how to come up with a decent ending for a movie. Spike has worse endings than 15 year old virgins.

9) We find out the DC Snipers are Black

Sad, sad day for stereotypes everywhere. Except them ninjas got caught sleeping. Literally. Just like Black folks.

10) Kanye West says that Bush doesn’t care about Black people

As unpoignantly poignant as his statement was, it somehow fit exactly what the entire Black community felt. This is also the point where people started believing that Kanye read books and/or was somebody to talk politics with. Boy were those people wrong. Point is, Kanye did Kanye things, and we’ll never forget. Like the Alamo.

That’s ten. What else you got? What are some sort of glossed over landmark moments in the Black community?

Shake something.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. LOOKING AT THEM GIRLS WITH THE DAISY DUKES ON aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Politics Schmolitics and Little Tea Pots

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Like I assume most reading people of America did, I watched President’s Obama State of The Union speech and the following Republican response from Rep. Paul Ryan scary eyed Tea Party (though Republican) representative Michelle Bachmann. I thought Obama’s speech was pretty well done. In general, I always expect Obama to deliver well. He’s an orator and charismatic leader. His speech was heavy on story-telling  and focused on the future of America as opposed to any partisan wrangling. That was nice.

His speech also for the first time in a long time, avoided going for the moments that would require different sides to stand up and applaud. While some of that is to be expected, I appreciated him giving a speech that was more about listening, reflecting, and refocusing than it was about punchlines and ovations. I thought President Obama did a very good job of creating an optimistic environment for our nation. Though…

Though, I found his speech to be very short on specifics and ideas. Now, I read earlier today that Obama intends to specify his goals and plans in his upcoming budget request, so I can wait to find out what he’s got up his sleeve. Go Obama.

Let me be very upfront here: I find politics in general (speeches, grandstanding, etc) to be very uninteresting. For the most part, it all comes across as rhetoric and propoganda. I’ve never cared much for politics but the uber partisan nature of Washington right now and the Tea Party’s ascension to the national scene has made me realize that, well, people are pretty much insane. And this isn’t to say that I think President Obama is doing a bang up job. He’s doing a decent job as President but I do think his transparency could use some work. I read the health care bill. It was the most convoluted piece of legislation I’d seen in a long time. But I do believe in his vision and goals. But over all, politics doesn’t really move me. I wish it did, but it doesn’t. I do think that Obama has caused me to pay more attention, but at the end of the day, it’s all just the same…ole song. With a different beat since you’ve been gone.

With that said, Michelle Bachmann’s speech scared the living f*ck out of me. Or maybe it was just her. I don’t know. I can’t think straight. The hills have eyes and hers looked like she borrowed Satan’s contacts. Paul Ryan was political. Obama’s was visionary. Bachmann? She spoke in the language of the folks who don’t like to figure things out. She said quite simply, “Obama, you dropped the ball and are making America bad. Stop it.” And I think a large swath of Americans would be able to easily understand that message. She’s like Sarah Palin-lite. She even sounds like her. I can’t lie, people like her and Sarah Palin who are able to easily speak in a language of folks who don’t know any better in such a manner terrify me because those are people who like to vote and listen to non-sense or speeches that really don’t say anything but sound like they say a lot. Truth is, her speech was fairly benign. But something about her just really put me in a bad space.

I do find it interesting that Bachmann was able to give a message on behalf of the Tea Party when they’re all mostly Republican. To me, it kind of made the Republicans look a bit…disorganized to me even though the speeches weren’t that far apart. But it marks a combo of Ryan, who by all accounts i a very bright and smart guy, and Bachmann who looks like a renegade soccer mom who somehow ended up in Congress.

Overall, to me, they’re all just speeches and mean nothing until the wheels start turning.

Until then. A-ha, hush that fuss, everybody move to the back of the bus.

Good people of VSB (forgive my mental ramblings being a bit all over the place), what were your thoughts about the State of The Union address and the following messages from Republicans? Do you even care? How do you feel about this country’s prospects in 2011?

Talk to me.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka 21 KOOKAROO GANGSTA aka GIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Politics As Usual: What Does It All Really Mean?

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It's gonna be a long two years, homey.

Like most people in America, I spent the majority of this evening flipping back and forth between various news stations watching as the election results came in. What most people assumed was going to happen is pretty much a certainty: the Republicans have taken back the House of Representatives and removed the supermajority that Democrats enjoyed in the Senate.

Obama’s own Senate seat that went unopposed just a few years ago was won by an Illinois Republican. Like it or not, the people have spoken. Just like they did back in 2008 when Obama was historically elected President.

A lot can change in two years.

Nobody – common man, pundit, or crackhead – is delusional enough to believe that this wasn’t largely an indictment on President Barack Hussein Obama. Obama campaigned heavily on hope and this belief that he could foster change in Washington. Most of us, much due to our own delusion, believed that it was possible for this one man to come into Washington and change a culture that has spent decades mired in political deadlock. For some reason, we all thought that despite the fact that an entire half of the country voted against him in favor of a man who can’t hi-five anybody and a woman who might actually usher in the hell promised in 2012, somehow, someway, Congress would ultimately work towards this greater goal of a unified government with a focus on the greater good.

We didn’t get that. In fact, what we got were a lot of things largely rammed through Congress using the fact that Congress was Democratic in both houses. Basically, using the majority present, Obama pushed through bills that, right or wrong, were largely opposed by huge sects of people. Health care reform, while necessary, was a beast that nearly derailed President Clinton in the early 90s. What we got was a confusing piece of legislation that even lawyers argued about where a significant portion of the provisions don’t even go into effect until 2014. It’s not to say that this was a bad thing, but it does speak to the main thing everybody wants from their government, especially during a time of recession: transparency.

Obama’s goal for transparency hasn’t necessarily been met. Most of us are very smart around here and short of the names of many of the bills and their intended goals, most of us – who don’t work directly on such things – probably couldn’t tell you the finer points of the health care reform bill, his financial reform package, or where most of the money for the two stimulus packages went.

Mind you, I’m not saying that Obama hasn’t done his job. I think he has done the best job he could with the resources and situation he was given…to a point. Communication is the corner stone of any strong relationship. Despite being the President who has to have clocked more face time than any other, when it came to the actual policies, I’d bet a lot of people really have no clue whats been going on. This is how Sarah Palin can use the words “death panel” and it becomes a hot topic in middle America. There are a lot of unsmart people in this nation. The only way to effectively get a message across is to make sure that even the slowest individual can get it.

Which leads us to where we are today. Republicans have convinced people that this Congress and President have been freewheel spending and forcing government down their throats. They are preaching an agenda that they probably can’t uphold either, but the fact is, thats what happens in politics. You sell promises and then do what you can to see your special interests through. The party in power that’s failed to live up to whatever alleged promises they made takes the hit. The Republicans went through this in 2006 after 12 years at the helm.

We are a whimsical bunch of people. We want change without really having any idea how to go about it or what that really means. Our only source of feeling like we’re affecting it is to vote for the people that represent us and craft the laws of the land. And what does that mean for the next two years? Well, a President who’s received very little help from Congress in general, or at the very least more opposition than perhaps any other President, will have a tougher job getting any of his policies implemented. But he’s still the President. And he still has two more years to attempt to right a ship that everybody agrees needs righting. And the Senate is still Democratic.

America is in an odd place right now. Obama was given a trick hand to play. However, he openly accepted that and has been doing his best to win with that hand since he took office. And he’s going to continue to have to do the same thing. I don’t feel bad for Obama. He’s the President. Part of the job description is to catch rocks being thrown at you by the people who didn’t vote for you. It’s on page four of the job description.

I was told at one point that the point of Congress is not to foster the passage of good ideas, but to hinder the progress of bad ideas. If that is true, this Congress will be living proof of it. But where do we go from here? I have no clue. I’m curious like the next man. The biggest tragedy in all of this, yet the one anomaly that make sense is this…

…Alvin Greene did not win the Senate seat. And for that we are all better off.

Anyway, what are your thoughts on this election night? Anger, frustration, hope, joy, etc? Good people of VSB, what does it all really mean to you?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka SPANKY SPANKADOCIOUS aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3