Tag Archives: Obama

I Wonder If Obama Is Tired of Jay-Z

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121105_obama-jay-z-4x3.photoblog600Imagine for a moment that you are President Obama. Of course you aren’t because if we pull out your wallet, it will not say “Bad Motherf*cker” on your license. However, for a moment, you can pretend to be.

Now imagine that while in the midst of being President Obama and doing something actually important, a staffer says, “um…sir, I realize that you are busy and I’m really sorry to have to bring this to your attention but, well, your friend Jay, um, Mr. Jay? Jay-Z? Well, he released a song called “Open Letter” talking about his trip to Cuba – which I know you didn’t have anything to do with, sir – but he kind of said that you did…I couldn’t quite follow, I’m more of a Brad Paisley fan myself…hey have you heard “Accidental Racist” by Brad and LL Cool J? I think you’d like it, sir. Either way, Well, CNN picked up the Mr. Jay-Z song and so did Fox News and well, you should listen.”

Obama: FUUUUUUUUUCK. Someboy get Jay Carney’s ass in here.

Scene.

I’m a Jay-Z fan. Always have been. Always will be. I also wouldn’t mind if he were to fade into blackness with his beautiful songbird wife and stop rapping. I know lots of people like “Open Letter”. I am not one of them. I think its boring. It’s just Jay saying what Jay says: “I’m rich. I can do what I want to do. I know Obama. I smoke crack in the bathroom. I don’t really know shit about politics but I like to say things that sound like I do. I own things that I don’t really own. I could flood the streets with drugs if I wanted to. Y’all gon learn (everything you already know) today.”

Except it’s not nearly as good as it would have been 10 years ago. But he’s happy now. He’s got a child named Blue Ivy for goodness sake. Only happy motherf*cers and white people (who are generally happy motherf*ckers) name their kids sh*t like Blue Ivy. Clap for him.

Moving on.

Barack Obama is a powerful man. Jay has long compared himself to the top of any game. Jackson, Tyson, Jordan. Game 6. But my guess is that very few of these individuals give two f*cks about Jay-Z. Clearly they know who he is but Michael Jackson was too busy being Peter Pan to call him back after that “Rock My World” remix. Unless you’re Charles Oakley, I don’t think Jordan gives any f*ckes. And Tyson? Well, Bolivion called. He’s there.

But Obama? For some odd reason there seems to be a sincere mutual respect between the two. We all know that rappers want to be ballplayers and ballplayers want to be rappers. Well now that our President is Black (no word on the blue Lambo), there’s a good chance that we have a man in power who wants to be both a rapper and a ballplayer. Except he’s cooler than everybody else. So rappers of a certain cache, like a Jay managed to finagle their way into his good graces, likely via Beyonce.

Well, out of that “friendship” or whatever it is, Jay being the rapper that he is – status rapper – pretty much makes it a point to let us know how rich and famous he is nowadays and seems to namecheck Obama a lot. Which is cool. But it has to get old at some point right? If I’m Obama, and I keep hearing all these references to me in music, etc, I’m sure I’d probably be like, “give it a rest”. But its not harmful and not enough to cause any real chagrin.

Plus, I’m going to be out of the White House in a few years and likey trying to sign to Roc Nation. So you tolerate the incessant name drops and associations, which you couldn’t stop anyway. Plus, aside from Jay himself, it’s mostly other people doing all the ridiculous speculating. It was all good just a week ago…

…until you have to call in your motherloving press secretary to make a statement that Jay-Z didn’t get any clearance from the White House and went through the necessary channels through the Treasury Department like everybody else. Not only that, Beyonce recently released “Bow Down” a song that I’m pretty sure made Michelle roll her eyes like the Chicagoan that she is and take Sasha and Malia’s subscription to the Beyhive away. Now Jay drops his own version of “Bow Down” and I’m pretty sure Michelle texted Barack from across the West Wing with some, “Yo, tell your man to chill, B”.

I remember reading some uberstupid article in the NY Post (I believe) entitled, “Obama’s Jay-Z Problem” which ridiculously claimed that Obama’s relationship with Jay was irresponsible given Jay’s past. It was dumb because I’m fairly certain that given the nature of powerful people in this country, if you pull back the curtain, most of their associates are of the less than stellar variety.

But most of those people don’t have associates who run their mouths via songs that end up on CNN talking about getting clearance and selling drugs on the streets of the US either. Which would be enough to annoy anybody. Yes, Jay we know…Obama f*cks with you the long way, but now you causing the man unnecessary press conferences when he has real problems to have. Not stupid sh*t like that. And talking about hanging on the beach together instead of taking care of the nation’s problems…no matter how “fun” it sounds isn’t that appealing from the Obama standpoint. And since the song is a point of contention, well the scrutiny is all warranted.

Which for Obama, is a stupid f*cking problem to have. But a problem nonetheless.

So it got me to thinking, do you all think Obama is tired of Jay an the incessant associations, etc?

What do you think? Is Obama tired of Jay-Z?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. 12 MORE YEARS aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

 

Barack and Michelle Are Black Love, And I’m Okay With That

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I’m not sure why I’m so cynical about everything. I’m sure if I dug far enough into my own background I’d find out it had something to do with losing a teddy bear or my mama not hugging me enough. Either way, I can be extremely cynical. Often times I just claim to be a realist…but maybe I just hate love.

Which is why I was so surprised to find myself cheesing like a rat at Chuck E. Cheese watching Barack and Michelle (since you know we’re on first name status and what not, as if!) do their first dance at the Commander-In-Chief Ball this past evening. Oh, and Michelle was killing them bangs and that dress. I don’t find her to be the hottest woman on the planet. And half the time I wonder if I’ve just got the wrong Michelle Obama with how frequently folks try to say she’s fine. But she’s a beautiful woman who has the adoration and love of her husband. And that’s beautiful.

That brings me to my point. I’ve long argued people when folks fawned all over Barack and Michelle. Because I’m not racist, I’ve also felt that way when folks did the same over Jay-Z and Beyonce. I think its the natural cynic in me who gets irritated by this savior complex we have in the Black community. Anytime somebody does something even a little bit right – and are famous – we make them the patron saints of That Thing They Did. Folks get married, OH MY GOD THEY ARE THE PERFECT COUPLE AND ROLE MODELS. Rarely do I see people writing odes to their parents, but the Famouses, they get the love.

However, I’ve started to soften my tone towards them. I don’t know if it’s because I do tea time at least once a week now and put on a tiara the other day because my daughter wanted me to pretend to be a princess, but I feel like I’ve begun looking at Barack and Michelle with a comforting vibe. Actually, it’s probably because I know that in 4 years, Barack and Michelle will still matter, but won’t be as prevalent or present. And to some degree that saddens me. These last four years, while not perfect politically have represented a significant amount of excitement for Black people. Sure we could always tell a person who claimed folks were holding them down that if Barack could become president then they needed to fall back, however, America felt a little bit different. Not necessarily better, just different. And that had as much to do with Michelle as Barack.

See, she’s a Black woman. And she’s comfortable in her skin. She does everything with a certain grace that’s inspiring. I appreciate her just as much as I appreciate Barack for being so in love with one another. I appreciate Barack for staring at her derriere to remind us all the he’s a real ninja. And I love that when they did their first dance that they hit a few moments of groove and swing and showed that they had that rhythm. I appreciate that. I like seeing them smile at each other and look like they actually like each other. I’m sure they have issues like everybody else and though he’s the leader of the free world I don’t doubt for a second that he knows when to defer to his wife just like she lets him be the man.

He never forgets to give her the props she deserves. I’m sure he’s a man and does man things that are so common place that they don’t need rehashing here. And I’m sure she has her moments. But so do we all.

Earlier today I was thinking about the idea of Black love. It’s just like every other noun with Black in front of it. It symbolizes some strong bond and commonality amongst us that all that even if it can’t be defined with simple words and phrases, you just know it exists when you see it. It’s palpable. But more importantly, it’s necessary. Seeing Black love is not only necessary for us as a community, it’s important for the world to witness even if they don’t fully get it. Don’t have to bump it, but please respect it.

I’ll skip the statistics about love and how dire it is because I’m not sure the stats tell the story of what I see. Sure I’ll always cringe when folks get too hype about anybody’s love that’s famous, but if Barack and Michelle are the symbole of Black love that I have to fall back on, well, I’m good with that. Because it looks real and it looks beautiful.

And it looks like something towards which to aspire in a world where so many images in the world of “reality” skew towards odd visions of love for anybody. Hey Mariah.

Cheers to Barack and Michelle for showing us how to do this son. Or more accurately, just showing us their love and letting us do with it what we might. And cheers to the freakin’ weekend…I’ll drink to that.

Love 40, baby.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST WITH A HEART aka MR. DULY NOTE THAT aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

President Obama and The Same-Sex Marriage Stance

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So today, Obama said in an interview that he supports same-sex marriage. This is a stark departure from his stance in 2008 when he pretty much opposed same-sex marriage but over time has stated that his thinking on the matter was evolving.

Evolving in this context is such a funny word. Evolution by definition alludes to continued growth. To say that his thinking is evolving almost implies that he had to grow as a person to acknowledge the truth of the situation, which is that marriage is for two people who loved and supported each other. The sex of those people should be secondary, if considered at all.

Let me state up front: I’m all for same-sex marriages. I have no qualms with it whatsoever. I think its a travesty that people are willing to fight SO hard to keep marriage “as it was intended” by the Bible.

I don’t mean to get all heretic or anything, but in my opinion, the Bible is a great book full of a lot of great stories. It’s the greatest quote book ever and the life lessons involved are definitely intended to help one live a fruitful and righteous life. Basically, the Bible is the extended version of the poem entitled “All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten” I feel like nearly everything in the Bible is subject to interpretation. I’m also not alone in this thinking since nearly every religion and denomination has seen fit to interpret scriptures to fit their own leanings.

Granted, the Bible is a bit more clear when it comes to homosexuality and marriage. However, it’s a man-made document. And plus, what if I’m an atheist? (I’m not). But if I don’t believe in the Bible or God for that matter, why should I be constrained to the principles therein. A government that purports to separate church and state altogether gets to decide my martial status, effectively based on religious traditionalism? I have big problems with that.

And hell, what if I do believe in the Bible but still can’t help but be who I am? Gay people don’t think that being gay is a choice. So if God made me this way, is God also saying that he created me as an abomination and I’m effectively a reject from God’s kingdom? Hey God, it’s me Panama…inquiring minds would like to know.

It’s very big of Obama to make such a statement. I’m fairly certain that he’s the first sitting president to make such a bold statement about such a contentious issue. Though he did temper it a bit by immediately stating afterwards that it shouldn’t be a federal issue but a state issue. I’m not sure I agree with that. I’m aware that each state has its own set of rules, but marriage seems like such a cut-and-dry thing. Either you can or you can’t. Why fiddle with states rights in an issue as loaded as this; instead, just make a blanket across the board stance. That could be my Big Brother hat on though. I’ll acknowledge this.

I realize that there are significant numbers of people, probably even people who read this blog who think that same-sex marriage is religiously wrong (arguably true), and spiritually amoral. And everybody is entitled to their own opinion. I don’t think that same-sex marriages dilute the institution of marriage anymore than allowing 19-year-olds into the NBA dilutes the quality of play (debateable).

Are there lingering issues that needed to be sorted out? Sure. But it seems like gay people want to get married for the same reason straight people do….love, tax breaks, and benefits. Everybody should have a chance to the game the system, not just straight people. Plus, straight people have been f*cking up this whole marriage thing for a while now….shouldn’t we let somebody else have a chance?

Anyway, what do you all think about Obama making such a bold statement as President? Does it matter? Do you think it could ruin his chances come November for re-election?

Thoughts? Opinions? The floor is yours.

Talk to me.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. OBAMA SAID WHAT? TURN THE CHANNEL BOO! aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Things All Black Households Should Have

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Even bougie ninjas have plastic on their furniture. Ask Barack and Michelle.

Much like the Baltimore Ravens, all Black families have murderers in their families. Or is that just mine? Wait…did I just snitch? If I tell on myself, does that violate the Stop Snitching hood edict? I’ve never known the answer to that question.

Mr. Panama sir…what’s your point?

Glad you asked.

While criminals are innate to the Black family – and shouldn’t be – there are some things that all Black households should have.

(Don’t you love that completely non-sensical unparalleled parallel that I made there?)

Growing up, I always noticed a certain similarity between my home and the homes of my various friends and family members with Africa in their souls. Simple things like those big ass spoon and fork combos that nobody but Shaq or Willie The Giant could eat with that always managed to sit in a corner like they were fine collectibles and antiques. What is it with ninjas and big versions of everyday stuff? We like big cars, big hair, big booties. None of that is practical. Big cars use a lot of gas. I STAY losing my keys in big haired chicks big hair and a to quote the great poet laureate Andre 3000, “fat t*tties turn to teardrops and fat a** turns to flab…”

I’ll bet you never heard of a player with no game.

Anyway, to be a truly Black household, here is a list of things that you should have. Get like we.

1. A drum

Stereotypical out the gate? Absolutely. I’m dumbfounded by how many Black households don’t have a drum. Any kind of drum. Real talk, when ever I have people at my home and a deep conversation gets going I always break out the drum so people know that it’s real. Amazingly, all of the convos then follow the cadence of my conga playing. Basically it all looks the scene in Love Jones when Savon starts drumming, because drumming was SOOOO a Savon thing to do. By the way, all of this was hypothetical because I don’t actually have a drum. *hangs head in shame*

2. Some sort of Obama something

Commemorative plates. Bobbleheads. Random wanton posters featuring Obama saving a kitten in a tree. Chinese porcelain dolls named Sasha and Malia. Brown paper packages tied up with string. Something. No Black home is complete without some sort of picture, shrine, or weekly family dedication to the Obama clan and their quest to make Black people relevant.

3. Coming To America and at least 2 Spike Lee movies

Well, duh.

4. The Bible and an African-American historical book

Let me tell you something. Back in the day when folks used to go door to door selling sh*t like vacuum cleaners, X-ray machines, and encyclopedias, my parents were the ideal client. Especially if there was some sort of Black book collection. We ended up with a Black Bible (what made it Black, no idea, except it was huge and heavy. We automatically laid down our burdens every time we tried to pick it up.) and some set of encyclopedias that told the Black story. Which was great except 1) who just sits and reads encylopedias (aside from me) and 2) no reports in school were ever about who created spinners or the first ninja to niggarig something. But still, no household is complete without it. Extra points if you have that same ridiculous African-American bible that we have.

5. TCB

Every Black household should have some of that good hair food. That and some pink lotion. Hell I have four bottles of pink lotion and I don’t even have hair. Oh, and NO household is complete without Palmers. One day at Target they were selling bottles of Palmer’s Cocoa Butter lotion for $1.99. I don’t know why or who thought that was a good idea. But I’ll tell you what, I copped 5 bottles. Ashy to classy like a motherf*cker. Word booty. Target definitely caught the fade that day.

6. Diana Ross’s The Bossand Diana albums strictly for the album cover art

It’s that real in the field. Admittedly, this could be a man thing.

What else should all Black households have? Talk to me.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka BLACKIE CHAN aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

[***AdminNote: For the DC ninjas, come party this Saturday, November 5, 2011 at Liv Nightclub (2001 11th Street, NW) as VSB brings you another edition of REMINISCE, the party dedicated to all 90s everything. Free before 11pm ($10 after); open bar from 10-11pm (real talk); and no dress code. Party wit' ya folk. Doors at 1opm.***]

The Post-Racial Tipping Point?

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Confused? Me too. This is how I feel right now.

Last week we looked at Herman Cain’s place in the Black community…well, now CNN is claiming that Cain’s race isn’t as important to conservatives as it used to be. And it’s got me ponderin’.

See, I’m baffled. Damn near dumbfounded. I almost feel like I’m sitting in some alternate reality where Michael Jackson is Black and it doesn’t matter if you’re Black or white.

Why, you ask?

Well, for the first time in history, it seems like nobody in the Republican party realizes – or cares – that Herman Cain is…wait for it…

…wait for it…

…Black.

Now either the majority of Black people are indeed full of sh*t or something odd is going on. For years, Black folks have been shown, taught, and reminded that race was as important a factor in our lives as our education, money, or Tyler Perry. There’s a popular meme in the Black community that no matter who you are or how much money you have, you’re still just an educated n*gga with money.
Yet, somehow, Herman Cain seems to be in a plausible position to push forward and actually secure the Republican nomination for President. Is it possible that we could have two Black men competing for the nations’s highest position?

Like, for real?

Just to keep it gully, I think Justin Bieber has a better chance of making it into a BET cypher than two Black men running for President, against each other. I think that welllllll before we get to the formal nomination Herman Cain will say something else ridiculous (akin to his belief that people in that small Tennessee town were right to stop a mosque from being built on land owned by the Muslims building the mosque or electrocuting Mexicans) or somehow fall out of favor. Will it be solely because as we get closer, white people will somehow wake up and realize, “hold the phone, that’s a Black man up there”? I don’t know. And to be fair, I don’t actually think that everybody’s racist.

But I can’t lie, I’m surprised by the fact that for the first time in Black history, a man’s policies and principles seem to be touted by the party that currently and almost intentionally seems to have the least amount of color amongst their representation. I’ve seen coworkers sing his praises with happiness and tout his plans. And yes, Virginia, they’re white.

Hank Williams, Jr, in the now famous segment that got him kicked out of Monday Night Football lore, said that Herman Cain was the only GOP candidate that made any sense.

Hear ye, hear ye. Hold me.

Would his ascension to the Republican nomination be proof that we are truly living in a post-racial world and that the vast majority of us Black folks complaining about race need to shut up? No. I will forever feel like white people view certain members of our populace as exceptions. Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Herman Cain, etc. These aren’t regular Black people.

They’re different.

And they’re all politicians of sorts. Herman Cain’s biggest asset seems to be knowing how to say what white people want to hear. It’s a true skill, trust me.

Interesting enough, all of the racial rhetoric coming out of the GOP involving Cain seems to be coming from him. He seems to be touting a certain type of dissociated Blackness, which is why so many Black people don’t trust him. He’s speaking all of that “you can do it because I did it, by myself” non-sense that gets many people labeled modern day Uncle Toms. It’s an interesting sort of alienation politics that grants him good favor amongst white people (his entire base at this point) and pisses off nearly every Black person within a 1-mile radius. Even his alma mater (and mine), Morehouse College, isn’t exactly singing his praises right now. And amongst the HBCU circuit, this might be the first time nobody wants any part of this competition.

While there is some truth to what he’s saying – for a significant portion of us, our failures are largely our own doing – to ignore the centuries of institutionalized racism is probably as idiotic a mentality as one can have. We have plenty of proof via actual studies about people with ethnic names not getting called back for job interviews while “mainstream” named people (think Jim, John, Beth, Sarah) get the opportunity to interview for a job. And since jobs are a big part of the current political landscape, I think that very real study is telling.

Some of the excitement I’m reading about the Tea Party and GOP’s approval of Cain almost seems ironic. Their excitement is largely driven by proving to people that they aren’t racist. It’s like learning play jazz flute in order to tease the kid up the street who plays jazz flute. If they support a Black man, they cannot inherently be racist. Further, Herman Cain’s popularity proves that race isn’t a big deal.

Yeah, we’ll see when it comes time to pull that lever. Granted, we’re still a long way away from a formal nomination which is why I think that these conversations keep happening. Nobody really seems happy with the current crop of candidates anyway so Cain is something like a positive by not being so negative for the GOP. But I can’t lie, I might have to eat my hat if he actually were to get nominated by the Republican party.

The larger point still remains though: I’m completely surprised by Cain’s success at this point because he is, indeed, Black. It honestly seemed like so many people who disliked (and still do) President Obama did so for very little more than petty reasoning, which makes the race card seem appropriate. His entire presidency has seemed like he’s been running from behind because everybody wanted him to fail. You can’t ignore the big elephant in the room.

But somehow that doesn’t matter with Cain…yet. So maybe we are in a post-racial world. Or not.

Talk to me AFTER he gets nominated.

Does Cain’s popularity amongst the GOP indicate that we are in a post-racial America? Or are we watching an early form of the Bradley effect taking place? Or more sinister, do you Republicans are just trying to make a point??

What gives?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka THE LESSER HALF aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

[ADMIN NOTE: At midnight on October 20, we're going to take VSB offline until next week while we finish handling all of the site issues we seem to be having. Most people seem to not be suffering from random f*ckery due to our site being hacked but enough are that we need to go offline to fix them. We'll be back on Monday. Thanks for sleepwalking with the kids and sorry for any inconvenience. Posse out.]