**in no particular order**

making the band 2: da band (season two)

reasons for making the cut

—thugs with braces. dylan. latina back fat. diddy and diddy’s crew of sickly middle-aged henchmen. dylan. cheesecake. weekly fights on wooded staircases. sara’s husband ‘s forehead. north philly n*ggas. dylan.

i mean, seriously. can you ask for more???

—spawned the single funniest reality show parody yet.

america’s next top model, cycle 3

reasons for making the cut

—still remains the number one all-time season on the list of “shows guys pretended to be forced by their girlfriends into watching even though they secretly enjoyed it”

—contained three of the five bangingest reality show chicks ever (eva, tocarra, and princess yaya)

***sidenote: between her being the only completely body-less chick in the history of history to have black men openly lusting for, her placing second only to esther baxter on the annual “chicks with names that definitely would make you think they’re much worse looking than they really are” list, and the fact that she single-handedly spearheaded this terrible 2004-present mohawk era, is it safe to say that eva pigford is one of the most influential americans of the 21st century?***

the apprentice: season one

reasons for making the cut

—still remains the only competitive reality show in history where people outside of the show’s niche actually gave a damn about who won

—in omarosa, provided american households with a living, breathing caricature embodiment of each of the worse stereotypes about black professional women, and almost single-handedly set back black male/female relations in my bedroom ten years with her blatant sabotage of kwame jackson (the patron saint of male “dark-skinned” points) in the final

the real world: san diego

reasons for making the cut

—the only reality show in history where each character was actually, gasp, likeable, each episode was funny, and all seemed like they genuinely enjoyed being around each other. if reality shows were sports, this season would have been the 2004 detroit pistons, and the late frankie (whose death actually resonated with me) would have been rasheed

—contained jacqueez, who, along with arissa from rw las vegas, was the only black person in real world history i could see myself being cool with in real life despite his subtle effeminatity. in fact, i still have absolutely no idea how he even made it on the show

your turn, people of vsb. who makes your cut? name your favorite reality show seasons of all-time.

—the champ