Tag Archives: music

Rhythmless & Blues and Fistpump Soul

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The future of Black music.

Happy Black History Month.

And since we’re talking about Black history, you ever notice how disposable R&B is nowadays? It’s no secret that one of my favorite songs of like for-f*ckin-ever is Rihanna’s “We Found Love”, a song about absolutely nothing and everything at the same time. It’s like there’s a party in my mouth and everyone’s invited…but then the police show up. Aww.

Well I haven’t heard this song in probably two weeks now and I don’t miss it at all. You know what I do miss? That snake playing the bongos I saw down by the riverside. And this is a song that is still a Top 5 song on Billboard’s Hot 100 chart. And yet, it’s completely disposable. So is Rihanna for that matter. In fact, you could take every song that Rihanna has made and put somebody else on them and there’s a good chance the song would be as good if not better. Would they be as successful? Probably not. When you’ve got a trainwreck wrapped in a pretty package leading the charge people are going to lineup to contribute to her downfall. Hell, I bought two copies of Loud for that reason. I’m convinced she’s a lesbian skydiving future rehab recidivist waiting to happen. America, f*ck yeah.

What’s my point again? Ah.

Ever since R&B gave way to this merger between pop and club music artists have been making more and more music that sounds good for a week in the club and then pretty much loses all steam once it fades from the charts, and by default, pop radio. Two of my favorite songs of last year were Chris Brown’s “Beautiful People” and Black Eyed Peas “Just Can’t Get Enough”. Do you know that I had to look up the name of the B.E.P. song?

Think about that, I couldn’t remember the name of my favorite song from last year and the group performing it features a white woman, a Black man who dresses like a white woman who dresses like a gay astronaut, a Mexican and something called Apl.de.Ap. At best, ONE of them actually eats black eyed peas. If that’s not memorable I don’t know what is. But it isn’t. Hold me. Pop music has long been moment music and short-term fix sh*t. But now that every damn R&B song has the same format and features a random assortment of various artists, nobody will be caring about this music years from now. Or weeks for that matter.

Now, I know I sound like an old grandpa complaining that music has lost its way blah blah blah. So what, f*ck your couch. Eat the pound cake n*gga. But I do kind of wonder what the hell folks will be listening to a few years from now. Granted music tends to be cyclical, but it really has been a while since any artist made a contribution to R&B that might actually be listenable a few years from now.

Nope. Now I’ve got nothing but fistpump soul. You know what that is. You ever been to a party with a bunch of white people and everybody just keeps jumping up and down and pumping their fists in the air. Real spit, white people are some real athletes. They do that sh*t for hours on end. It’s actually pretty impressive if you think about it. Black folks get it in for a minute then we all take breaks so the guys can regain their composure and the women can do the weave-pat.

And since “neo-soul” tends to suck as a rule – including Jill Scott’s later output, yeah I said it – its no wonder Black people keep losing our stronghold on all of our music. Let me be clear though, I love most pop music and listen to it with reckless abandon in my car. I’m the Black guy in the d-boy car that’s confusing you at the light because he looks like he may rob you but he’s singing what sounds like a Taylor Swift song.

Oh who am I kidding, its totally a Taylor Swift song.

But pop music is not R&B, and its not soul. But when all of your R&B artist and “soul” artists abandon ship in order to attempt to keep up with the Jones who are making songs at 185 BPP with the exact same drum pattern but a different melody, then the entire genre is going to lose itself like Eminem in a movie with Mekhi Phifer wearing a mop.

So what’s the point of all this randomness that you just read? Glad you asked. It’s this, what the f*ck happened to R&B? When D’Angelo lost his sh*t did the entire genre lose it? Usher’s Confessions is the last album that I can remember that was both a blockbuster AND was a really good R&B album. And that was in 2004.

So I ask you the same thing that Kanye asks himself after he lifts weights: does anybody make real sh*t anymore? Or is mainstream R&B a thing of the past? Is anybody making music that we’ll be listening to a few years from now?

Inquiring minds would like to know.

Poor Freddie Jackson. RIP Don Cornelius.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONST aka MR. OLD FOGEY MOTHERF*CKER aka GIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Believe Half Of What You Hear and None Of What You See?

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These guys have killed millions. Of people. A lot.

I realized something a few days ago. And I’m not quite sure how to say this so I might as well just say it straight up.

I like being lied to.

Yes, apparently as a fan of mainstream hip-hop, I appreciate being lied to by some of my favorite artists.

Notice I said, MAINSTREAM rap. For all of you boho’s out there who will think this is an indictment on ALL rap, please read the preceeding sentence again. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

*humming Eminem’s “I’ll Kill You”*

N.W.A. lied to me constantly, Mobb Deep lied to me.

T.I. lies to me. Rick Ross lies to me. Lil Wayne lies to anybody who will listen. Common is lying to us all now. Well you get the point. These ninjas are all lying because they continue to write all of these tales of their current street acumen and all of the weapons they travel with and the drugs they currently slang, etc.

And I am a fan.

Now granted, I don’t actually believe any of these dudes do half of the sh*t they claim to do. I don’t believe that Rick Ross is moving that much snow in the hood or that T.I. is still moving blow in the hood. I don’t believe that any of these dudes have murdered anybody, with the possible exception of 50 Cent and that’s strictly due to one line on his song “Problem Child” from like 2003:

“they say you can never repay the price for taking a man’s life/I’m in debt with Christ cuz I done did that twice” – 50 Cent

I’ll admit, I do question the veracity of that statement and maybe it just sounds good in rhyme. But, errrum, most rappers tell you that they WILL kill you, as in future tense. 50 says that he HAS done it. Somehow, that makes me a little nervous. Luckily he isn’t in any jeopardy of going to Heaven anyway as I do in fact believe his posters are plastered through the Great Hall of Hades as one of the biggest proponents of Hell.

But for the most part, I don’t believe most of these rappers. And I’m not saying that none of these dudes sold drugs. I’m sure that T.I. did as I’m sure that Jay-Z did. I’m sure 50 Cent did as well as a slew of other rappers. Of course, there are lots of questions about how big these “drug dealers” were as even Biggie’s own people have said that he wasn’t nearly the drug dealer he claimed to be. Many of these dudes do indeed have the soul of hustlers so I believe that many of them have done SOME of the things they claim in rhyme. Let’s just say that amongst the lies they share resides some segment of truth.

But between all of the murders these rappers claim to be willing to commit and all of the weight that they claim to be moving and the fact that I don’t actually believe any of them are as big time as they claim, it just seems that I like being lied to. I mean, I buy into it as it relates to their persona on wax. And somehow, they seem to buy into their own stories enough to convince me to buy into them. And I’m not alone. For some strange reason, as far as our mainstream rappers go, with the possible exception of Kanye West, we all like to hear about how hard these dudes are and we can easily look past the fact that their entire catalog is filled with odes to drug slanging and killin’ ninjas on the block.

Now for the life of me, I can’t figure out why I’ll let this type of sh*t slide. The lies, I mean. Most normal people detest liars. People that will lie to you are the very people you’d not want to be around. Yet in mainstream rap, being able to convince people of your street respectability, be it fabricated or not, is paramount. If somebody found out that Kenny Rogers had never played a game of poker, well, how upset would the country music world be? Or what if the Dixie Chicks were from Canada? Or what if Guns ‘N Roses didn’t live the life they sang about? Of course, that’s an impossibility because if you’ve seen the vh1 Behind The Music on the Guns, you’d realize, them white boys and Slash were nuckin’ futs.

I guess this all ties into the very notion that even as an educated black man, respect and pride are very important. I live in a black neighborhood and you don’t want anybody to even think about wanting to mess with you. Somehow, these are the problems we concern ourselves with. So I sometimes walk around with this air of “don’t f*ck with me or this might be a bad day for you”. We all know I’m as gangsta as they come, but we also all know that I purchased a Hillary Duff CD. The key is to not let anybody else know it. And I think this is a problem that is unique to the black man experience. I could be wrong, but it seems to me that we spend a lot of time trying to scare the bejesus out of white and black people. Hell, we don’t have anything else…all we have is our respect.

Or so we say.

And maybe that’s why we like to be lied to so much. We spend so much time trying to be the dude that everybody wouldn’t want to mess with, kind of as a manifestation of our idea of self-preservation, that despite the sheer impossibility of many of these rappers claims, we see them as a lot like us, even if we may come from totally different circumstances. Right?

I remember during the last episode of Season 3 of The Wire, after Stringer Bell, had been gangstaliciously murdered by Omar and Brother Mouzone, Detective McNulty was in Stringer’s apartment looking through his books and possessions and couldn’t believe the types of books String had been reading. It was so astounding to him he wondered aloud who in the hell was he chasing?

I wonder if a lot of these dudes are indeed like that. They all seem to look up to Tupac and we know the intelligent hoodlum he was. I know a lot of people don’t like Tupac as a rapper, and I have my days as well, but as a person he was the epitome of the young black man so many of us wish to be. Educated but respected by all. He had the pedigree, he had the struggle, he had the ability to rise above it, and he went out in a blaze of glory. Actually, nix that last part, I’d rather go out while drinking some Kool-Aid when I’m 98.

All in all, I wonder if the reason we love being lied to so much is because so many of us spend time lying to ourselves about who we really are. From white suburban “thugs” to some of the inner-city black “thugs”. Yeah the white boys get to grow out of it, but so many of us black men still fall victim to the idea that we have to be able to be respected in the streets, at age 30.

So yes, I like being lied too. Hell, I enjoy it thoroughly. And I think I don’t pay much attention to it because in some kind of weird way, I understand.

Besides, if I want honesty, I’ll just listen to Milli Vanilli.

So what about you? Do you like being lied to as well or do you even pay attention anymore?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. GIVE ME A REASON TO LOVE YOU BACK aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Lil B Has AIDS So You Should Go Get Tested

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Most of you have never heard of Lil B. Which is why I feel like I must apologize in advance for introducing you to somebody you not only would never know of but who you might also be upset to know of afterwards.

I’m sorry.

Good.

Now Lil B is a Berkeley, CA, based rapper who knew some previous fame for his group The Pack who had their vans on but they looked like sneakers. Couldn’t tell you who the rest of the group members were since Lil B is the only who’s managed to have much of a career, if we can call it that. Now a lot of the controversy with Lil B is that he straddles a fine line between idiot and idiot savant. Nobody can really tell if he’s really just the special kid in the class who eats glue or if he eats glue because he knows thats the key to everlasting life. We do know for a fact though, that he eats glue.

Earlier this year, Lil B ceremoniously tweeted that he was going to name his latest album I’m Gay in hopes of bringing awareness to the word and how benign it can be and show support for gay community by saying that we are all gay. Or something. He got lots of press and did lots of interviews where I’m fairly certain he confused everybody involved with his explanations. Yet somehow, the Young Based God managed to secure the cosign of Jean Grae, 9th Wonder, and even motherf*cking Phonte, who all appear on a 9th Wonder produced track called “Base For Your Face“. Jay Electronica has cosigned him.

Honestly I think people just like controversial rappers. And to be fair, he’s surprised me on occasion with some lucid words and he does have an ear for picking dope beats. But he’s also the genius behind the worst freestyle known to man that includes the lines, “h*es on my d*ck cuz I look like Jesus.” And anybody who listens to ASAP Rocky and hears him talking about being a “pretty motherf*cker” can really blame Lil B who has been calling himself a “pretty b*tch” on wax for a minute now.

Oh and he changed his album title from I’m Gay to I’m Gay (I’m Happy) which seemed like somewhat of a copout. So why am I talking about Lil B? Good question. He recently dropped a song intended to increase HIV awareness called *rimshot* “I Got AIDS”. At press time, he did not have AIDS; just to clarify.

Let’s switch gears for a second. Storytelling has always been a cornerstone of hip-hop. Ice Cube made millions re-telling the stories of his more street homeboys as cautionary tales. By this point (and pretty much verified in his Behind The Music) everybody knows Cube wasn’t a real gangsta but his ability to tell stories and get you to relate made him quite the force in the early 90s. I’m sure had he not gotten rich he’d either be dead or gone down as the GOAT, which admittedly is debatable.

So what Lil B has done really isn’t that odd. I mean, AIDS and HIV awareness is needed in the Black community and world community. And the Based God has fans of all stripes that follow along with his whims. The problem is that he sucks soooooo bad as a rapper. I mean he’s really bad. Again, he has his moments. But that’s kind of par the course. Even the worst rappers have good days. “I’ve Got AIDS” ain’t one of those days.

But I feel conflicted because I mean, he’s actually doing a good thing here, right? He’s actually attempting to tell a story about how he got AIDS filled with all of the dumb mentality-driven ideas of not knowing because he looked good, etc. He repeatedly says to get tested. Which, get tested. But the song sucks donkey nuts. And you can tell he’s kind of going for the Tupac “Brenda’s Got A Baby” steez, except he’s not nearly as adept at story telling as even my 2-year-old (seriously, she’s got skills). The song even appears on his mixtape entitled Based God Velli (a play on Tupac’s Makavelli alter-ego).

We always have conversations about shooting the messenger and if sometimes you just have eschew the BS and appreciate that somebody is saying something that needs saying, no matter how messy it is. But this is messy in Herman Cain proportions. But again…his demographic is littered with people who need that message. Will they listen? Who knows but at least somebody they are interested in speaking about it right?

This is an odd little aside but I spoke on an HIV/AIDS prevention awareness panel at Howard University in October and somebody asked how we could, in our community, raise awareness. My response was that Magic Johnson happened to early. That it would almost take some famous individual contracting HIV for the common everyday knucklehead to take it serious and start listening. I was refuted on this point by a young woman (name escapes me) who seemed to actually hate me and every response I gave. She didn’t think that would help at all. I don’t know. Not that I’m wishing HIV on anybody, just saying that for some people, it takes superstars for sh*t to matter to them.

Anyway, this all brings me back to, for a message that is indeed this important, do you just accept it and praise the fella for taking a shot at awareness, even if its going to miss wide right by about nine feet, or do you call it for what it is? BS.

Help me out here. I’m conflicted.

And again, I’m sorry that you now know who Lil B is if you didn’t before. That’s on me. Remind me to get you a shot when I see you.

What say you? Glass half empty or half full?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. WONTON SOUP aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Are You Watching The Throne? Probably Not For Long

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We used to care...now we're just rich and bored so we made a rich and bored album.

This past Monday, Jay-Z and Kanye West’s joint venture, Watch The Throne, hit iTunes, much to the chagrin of independent outlets and retailers everywhere. I can’t really say that I was anticipating it since I hated the song, “H.A.M.” since it, well, sucked and “Otis” sounds like a song that’s supposed to be dope but the beat blows. I will say that nobody does “swag rap” better than Jay or Kayne. Well except Biggie. And Big Daddy kane.

But last I checked they were both dead.

Let’s just put this out front. Jay is my favorite rapper of all time. Kanye, right now, is probably right behind him as my favorite rapper of the right now. I feel like Kanye is way more important to pop-culture than Jay is and ultimately more relevant but that’s neither here nor there. I’m also a huge fan of Kanye’s artisticness. You can’t convince me that My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (MBDTF) isn’t one of the best albums to come out in the past ten years. Point is, I’m a big fan of both of theseto. So I don’t say this lightly…but…

…Watch The Throne kind of isn’t dope.

It’s not to say that it’s not a solid album. It is. It’s just that there’s very little on this album that I’ll ever really want to listen to again. In fact, the ONLY songs I’ve listened to on repeat are “Nigg*s In Paris” and “Gotta Have It” which might bet the least Neptune’s sounding Neptune’s beat in a long long while. Everything else can go. I wish somebody would make those songs into birds so that they could fly, fly far far away. Like “Made In America” featuring everybody’s favorite singer du jour Frank Ocean. My god is this song gay. You know, I honestly didn’t think that Jay could make worse songs than that terrible song with Usher and Beyonce from Kingdom Come but apparently he wanted to assure us that he could. It just sounds so…so…gay. I’m fairly sure they’re going to have to release “Lift Off” featuring Beyonce as a single for that very reason and it is also on some ducksauce.

You know what…forget the track by track sh*t. Here’s the problem with this album. Actually there are two. 1) This isn’t a Jay and Kanye album…it’s a Kanye album featuring Jay. It’s too musical to be a Jay album. Period. It’s got the Kanye imprint all over it. Kanye is an artist at this point, hate him or love him. Jay on the other hand is and will always be a rapper. No matter how emo a beat he tries to rap over or how “different” sounding the beat, ultimately he’s a rapper. And that comes thru as Jay seems, in my opinion, to be more or less of an afterthought a lot of times. It’s not that he’s not delivering Jay verses (lazy as they may be), its just that he’s too cool to be on some music sh*t. Kanye sounds like he cares WAY more than Jay does to be rapping on this album. Which leads to the second problem… 2) I kind of feel like Kanye didn’t care that much or was bored but finished it anyway.

For all of his faults, one thing you’d never fault Kanye for is not having a dope ear for cohesion and putting together an outstanding product. He always seems to want to make a classic album even though 808s and Heartbreaks was far from that. But at least he swung for the fences by changing up his whole sound and innovating. This album really to me sounds like a lazy version of both Blueprint 3 and uber leftover beats from MBDTF that weren’t good enough to make that album in any way shape or form.

[Sidenote: There is something to be said though that the only comparison's that hold water with these two are their own bodies of work. That can't be stated enough.]

I mean, it doesn’t even sound as good sonically as MBDTF…an album that came out almost a year ago. That album sounded beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. You’d think that if anything, sonically it would be on the same level but it’s not. Which is the rub, its not that the album isn’t decent. It is. It’s just that nobody’s going to be talking about this album once they run out of songs to release.

You know what, here’s how I can sum up this album…Rick Ross wouldn’t rap on any of this sh*t except maybe ONLY “N*ggas In Paris”. I can hear Rick Ross murdering that beat. I honestly feel at this point Rick Ross knows how to pick music and sounds that compliment exactly what he’s trying to do. He knows how to make epic sh*t. If Rick Ross is getting on your sh*t, it’s because it’s a motherf*cking monster. Pun intended. He would have gotten on ANYTHING on MBDTF. I feel like he probably was cool on everything on this album.

In fact, my favorite parts of the album are the beat change-ups similar to MBDTF which feature, surprisingly very little rapping and I’m not upset about it.

Not to mention this being the least relatable album I’ve ever listened to or the fact that Jay and ‘Ye both sound a little…off….trying to rap about social issues, an area Jay has proven to struggle in the past, though I like “New Day”, but again, Kanye’s verse seems more…better. Real talk, I’d be lying if I recited any of these lyrics as my personal mantra. I can’t even fake 90 percent of this sh*t.

I know a lot of people love it, and that’s good. Hell, I paid for it already and want a physical copy. I’m a fan but I probably won’t be listening this too much longer and I think that goes for most people. For two individuals who seem to care about their legacy, I’m just surprised that they’d release an album that neither adds nor detracts from it. This joint just exists until we forget about it. It’s like a David Guetta song. Or Lady Gaga music. Or LMFAO. It’s pop music with hard drums. And soft songs. Because it’s Jay and ‘Ye I want to love this, but I’m over it already.

D’oh well. On to the next one.

Oh, and one more question…how the f*ck does Swizz Beatz go so much production work and so many random features? Who does he have naked pictures of? Inquiring minds would like to know.

What’s your take? Are you watching the throne?

Talk to me.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka PANYE EAST aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

How Teedra Moses Laid The Blueprint For Hoodrat R&B

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What does it feel like to be me?

Hi! My name is Panama Jackson, you may remember me from such musical expositions as Tupac Back: You Can’t Be A Thug Angel If You Won’t Die N*gga and The Areola Heard ‘Round The World: Aretha Franklin and You. Well today we’re going to discuss a genre of R&B that is quite prevalent and has its roots in both the African griot community and the halls of ghetto America: hoodrat R&B.

Hoodrat R&B is the arena that appeals most to hoodrats. One might ask themselves, how does one appeal to hoodrats? Good question. Very good question. To see how we do this, we will use the pre-eminent album in the canon, Teedra Moses first rendering, Complex Simplicity. This album is a study in hoodratism and general f*ckery. And it is to be loved by all who beckon to the booty gods.

Full disclosure, upon first hearing this album I hated it. I thought it sucked more nuts than two squirrels at an AVN convention. I even trashed it publicly on my old website. Then shortly after, on a cold November night, I placed the spherical disc in this machine…a machine of discness and compactibility. Then my world changed. I actually met Teedra Moses a few years back and apologized. She had no idea why, nor did she care. Either way, Complex Simplicity is a great album. It’s also everything you ever need to know if you want to specialize in hoodrat R&B.

Are you curious why?

Me too.

Everybody mambo.

Let’s go.

The Teedra Moses Complex Simplicity Blueprint Model for Hoodrat R&B

1. Exhibit hoodrat characteristics

Look, I don’t know Teedra. But what I do know is that she got knocked up by a rapper who has spent more time on the run than Carl Lewis. Who is her rapper baby daddy? Ras Kass, one of the better rappers that nobody really remembers. His Soul On Ice album and title track should be bronzed, but it won’t be, cuz dude spends more time in jail than Gucci Mane. The most important part of setting the standard for a genre is to dress for the job you want. I think getting knocked up by a jail loving conscious rapper is par the course. After all, he will make you see LA like Ed O’Bannon. Get it, UCLA = you see LA? Forget it. Call me now!

On to the music.

2. Focus on topics that hoodrats will be able to relate to and rally behind.

The opening words on her album, in the song, “Be Your Girl” are “don’t know if you got a girl, don’t mean no disrespect but thoughts of you rule my world…”

From jump she’s like, look, girl or no girl, I need to be your girl. You are on my mind booboo. All the time. Right now, I’m studying for my final exam at Everest College with the light skinned jumpoff from the commercial…you remember her, and I can’t focus because I’m thinking about you. Hey, I wonder, do you even notice me at all? You got to feel me. I mean, I would love you good, I just got to be your girl.

See, hoodrats focus is on snagging the crush. Girlfriend? Wife? Boothang? No worries because she said no disrespect. That means its fair game. Hoodrat logic.

Which reminds me, the scene in Talladega Nights where Ricky Bobby says that by saying with all due respect he can say what he wants is another example of hoodrat logic co-0pted by country white people.

Topics on Complex Simplicity include: songs that clearly state that a man’s backstroke keeps her around (explicitly stated by the way), how she’s the bomb diggy and if she decides she wants a man, it’s going down (no Joc), which is obviously part 2 of “Be Your Girl” since she’s just now catching the interest…he just doesn’t know he’s about to get got, “Caution” he’s falling.

More on this later.

3. Use hoodrat rally calls and nomenclature

The opening words of the single “You’ll Never Find ( A Better Woman)” – a dope song by the way featuring Jadakiss – are, “ooooooooooooh cat daddy”. That is the hoodrat Thundercat cry. In fact, every time I go to the hood, all I hear is women yelling “oooooooooooooooooh cat daddy” from the windows and from Corrollas, Prisms,and Sentras, the official cars of hoodrats. Thing is, Teedra’s voice is so insanely dope that when she says, as a cat daddy, I want to walk towards her and let her tell me that I’ll indeed never find another woman as good as her. And minus the prison loving baby daddy she might be right.

4. The Beat-A-B*tch Anthem

Teedra’s album contains one horridly mixed song produced by Lil Jon (a hoodrat connoisseur) called “You Betta Tell Her”. You see where this is going. It’s about some chick around town claiming her man, surely a topic all hoodrats can relate to, understand, and sympathize with. So what do you need to do…not only do you better tell her…you better get that b*tch told tonight. Yes, homey, you, with the other chick claiming you, go get that b*tch told. All up in the club. Or her little 4’11″ arse will be on that a** like white on rice. I think if she released this song today in a better mixed format, it would go number one in every country with a Black woman.

5. Depth

I”m not sure if you spend any time on Twitter, but it’s a hoodrat heaven. It’s a little place where all hoodrats can go to talk about their haters, get b*tches told…but in a surprise move, be remarkably deep and inspirational with such gems as: If u c it, u kin acheev it. Lt ur h8trs b ur motivators. God luvs u. Jesus wept for ur h8trs. You see, hoodrats, despite the circumstances they’ve found themselves in are generally brimming with angst and otherworldlyness and ultimately, like Xscape, are only looking for understanding. Sure they might beat you down, but at the end of the day, the lament the society that put them in a position to do so. It’s a sort of complex simplicity if you will.

AHA!! Album title. Contradictory depth. All hoodrats can appreciate terms like complex simplicity as its how they define themselves on Twitter with handles like, LoudlyQuietThugMisses or (for the male hoodrat) Mis-terUndastoodHoodPain, or InnerTurmoil69 or SaveTheChirrenKillANi99a. You get the point. Teedra comes with this in spades. She has songs about the depth of her struggle. Like “Complex Simplicity” and “For A Lifetime”.

6. The odd cosign

See, hoodrat R&B singers all need a major cosign. Hers? Motherf*cking Raphael Saadiq on the song “Take Me” a dope as a mug song. In hoodrat, this is the mentor with major pull who finds that hoodrat that they want to help out.

7. The Mama Song

Tupac perfect it and its been duplicated to much less than stellar results ever since in hip-hop, but singers can generally never go wrong. And Teedra can sing. A lot. Her song “I Think of You (Shirley’s Song)” dedicated to her mother who passed away complete with an intro that uses the word “situation”. Hoodrats love this word because they always have situations. And mamas.

******

After all that you might be saying, hey, this is wrong. Everybody knows that Mary J. Blige is the blueprint. I’d agree except 1) she was well before her time; and 2) even on What’s the 411, she went remarkably vague. All of those songs were hoodrat in theory, not in practice. If you sang those words over more mainstream beats, you’d have had hits.

What about Monica? She gave it a go, but she was more hood as a person than she was in her music. Trust me. Destiny’s Child tried to go that route but ultimately they had to tone it back to sell records. They didn’t give it a full run.

Plus, they all heavily predated the genre in order to come up with a fully encompassing body of work like Teedra Moses and Complex Simplicity. It is an album that deserves its rightful place at the head of the hoodrat r&b table. Male singers like Ideal, Profyle, and Jagged Edge tried but were ultimately unsuccessful at fully connecting.

Teedra Moses is an icon. A beacon of R&B goodness. And ultimately she’s a testament to miss, thug misses, shy misses…and it doesn’t matter because you’re my misses.

If Teedra released her album today, it would go platinum, she was just a few years before her time, but roughly all of the music created by male and female R&B singers nowadays sounds like an offshot of the direct, straight from the hip deep and complex mind of Teedra Moses and theyall owe a debt of gratitude to the Lioness. No Amil.

Happy Friday.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3