Let’s Talk About The Richard

I’m going to attempt to use as many euphemisms for the peen (and never repeating the same one twice) as possible during the writing of this post. Sort of as an exercise in creativity and because why not? Might as well have fun with it, which coincidentally, IS WHAT SHE SAID. Oh, and there’s gonna be a whole lot of potential TMI. You’ve been warned.

130108_richard_nixon_ap_328Penis envy is very real thing. You know how I know that it’s a real thing? Because I’m a man and I’ve literally had a woman examine my wang with envy. Like, while I was laying there, she treated it like a Frankenstein science experiment. Not doing anything remotely fun or exciting with it, just actual examination and asking questions. I’m talking real study. While I was watching television. Now, as a man, you kind of get used to this. I hope I’m not telling tales out of school, but I’m sure most men can relate. At some point after you’ve reached “be naked around each other for no reason at all” level of comfort, your woman will randomly hold your johnson in both amazement and curiosity.

[And security. I used to date this chick a long time ago who literally would hold my dong whenever we drove somewhere in the car. Without fail. Church? Grocery store? Blockbuster? She just felt more comfortable holding on in the car. It didn't seem weird until I just typed this out. Go Redskins! Wait, the football season is over? F*ck. Awwwwkward.]

You know, the fact that schlong envy is a real thing is slightly non-sensical. The pickle is really an inconvenient apendage in all other facets but sexual. For instance, I wrote this almost six years ago:

More nuttage: Getting my nuts caught in a door - Say I’m doing naked cartwheels in my house one day…and I’m having a dinner party. Why would I be doing naked cartwheels during a dinner party? I have no clue. Anyway, say I’m doing a carthweel thru my hallway and somebody goes in the bathroom and because I’m King Beef, they slam the door and my shit gets slammed in the door. Seriously, that’s some scary shit. That’s on par with clowns.

Why do I bring this up? Well, yesterday while perusing the social medias, I came across this post by Ms. Lucas of A Belle in Brooklyn fame entitled, “You Never Held It While He Pees?” – Her which made me laugh because, well, I’ve had that happen before. A woman I was dating asked me (and made a big enough deal that I relented) if she could hold my doodle while I peed. She actually used to want to do that frequently. I suppose its an odd request, but curiosity is a real thing so I understood. I mean I was always curious about the sun, moon, stars and sh*t like that. RICKYYYYYYY. It wasn’t until I read Demetria’s post that I realized women found it difficult to aim.

I suppose that all of our urinary moments are just constant practice at shooting straight. And lord knows you do get better over time. Any person with boys can tell you this. It’s a wonder bathrooms don’t just smell like urine if you’ve got little boys. The “if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie” signs aren’t just decorative, ya know. It seems like some women just aren’t prepared for the power of the stream. And of course, boys being boys, well we do boy things like piss our names into snow, or into the urinals. I do it all the time. In fact, you are not only not f*cking with my clique, you are absolutly not f*cking with my urinary cursive game. You just aren’t. I’ve gotten to caligraphy, my nword. Caligraphy. But I suppose it can be hard to aim if you’ve never had to do it before. It’s like a water hose. Or shooting a gun. First time you do it, you aren’t ready for the recoil action.

Similarly, I’ve also had women ask to shave (my face) me before, which….Color Purple. You are not shaving me, Celie. You better go run through a field of purple and say makidada with your homegirl. Moving on.

The wanting to hold the dingaling thing does make some sense though. Most women I know have told me in various fashion what they’d do if they had a weenie for a day. This also lets me know how crude women are because nearly every single goal has included either beating off or coming remarkably close to rape. Basically, right after holding the twig and berries for a while, they’d go out and make sure to USE them. Can’t blame y’all actually.

On the flipside, I can honestly say that I’ve never had the desire to examine and fawn over the vajayjay, no matter how much I love it and its possibilities. I mean of course there’s the standard “it don’t smell” test, but that’s purely goal oriented. But rarely are most dudes going to just stand and fiddle for educational purposes. I’ve never wanted to sit down peeing or experience cramps. I’ve had shin splints though and like athlete cramps. And pneumonia. They all hurt. Fight me. Why would I want to add menstrual cramps to that. I don’t want an ovary. Or two. And Phillippine tubes seems like an Olympic event though I can’t decide if its winter or summer. I’m guessing winter.

And I don’t want boobs. Them joints can be maaaad heavy. Flat drinks we call A-cups.

But women seem to have that curiosity about the wanderings of pirate named, One-eyed Willie. Does the python do a dance? Can you make the snake slither? After reading the post above, I asked various women I know about holding  a man’s pecker. Most were like, “ewwww, why?” but I got a few, “I mean, yeah, like I just needed to understand the mechanics of my mechanic”

TUNE UP.

So after all that, ladies, have you had an odd-ish type of requests for your man’s woody? Fellas, what about you? Are you as interested in the science of the beaver as they seem to be with the weasel? Who holds the peen in your relationship???

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. PUT IT DOWN AFTER YOU PICK IT UP, PLEASE AND THANK YOU aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

7 Reasons Why Men Should Watch Scandal According To An Actual Man

photo(1)According to an article I came across while googling two separate things (“why men should watch scandal” and “scandal audience demographics”), I found that Scandal has one of the most female-centric audiences, like, ever. If the numbers in this article hold true, then about a solid quarter of Scandal’s viewers are men. This makes complete sense.

Without any facts to back this up, I’m going to wager a guess at the way the demographics break down. The audience is largely Black women (duh) with the remainder probably being Black men who have girlfriends who watch Scandal, white women who sympathize with Mellie and want to smash Fitz and possibly gay white men who like seeing the gay white male couple on television who adopted a Black baby that seems to have mysteriously disappeared. I can’t decide if I just missed the episode where they gave the trendy adopted Black baby back (can you actually do this?) or if they just pulled the “if we never mention the baby again, then maybe the baby never existed” script tool. These things keep me awake at night.

The point is that men, in general, aren’t watching this show. Which is a shame. The only people saying that men should be watching Scandal (see above linked article) are other women since, well, men aren’t watching the show. Trust me, I’ve looked for articles about Scandal written by men and they are scarce to non-existent. Twitter and social media would have you think otherwise but I’d be willing to bet that a solid 90 percent of the men popping off about Scandal on-line haven’t actually watched an episode. And to be fair I get it. Men out here with sidepieces get slandered to high hell as ain’t sh*t men (which they are), only to have women everywhere in love with a show that glorifies being a sidepiece. Or at least seems to. I get it, but its really a bad argument.

So I, an actual man who watches and enjoys it, am going to try to undo some of this. Or at least present a good enough list of reasons, some very man-centric, as to why men should be watching the show.

Shonda, you’re welcome (even though you’re doing just fine without my input).

1. Scandal is currently the equivalent to the ending of the Alabama vs Auburn Iron Bowl game from Saturday. Every week.

You see the guy in the pic up above? That was me at the end of the Iron Bowl. Laid all the way the f*ck out on my floor. I have hardwood floors. It was so cold. The epicness of that game is experienced on nearly a weekly basis during Scandal. There is ALWAYS something to make you yell out “oh sh*t” or “no motherf*cking way”. Shonda Rhimes has thrown out the book on subtlety and said let’s just punch folks in the mouth with ridiculous epicness every.single.week. So she does. Scandal is the Iron Bowl for women…

2. As per a few paragraphs ago, there is some vindication.

Look bro, your girl KNOWS that Olivia Pope is a sidepiece and she’s STILL rooting for her to win out. We all know that sidepieces never truly win, but women seem to think that the heart will never fail you. She knows she’s rooting for the very thing that she swears she’s against in real life. She knows. She knows Olivia Pope is weak and she knows that she could easily be Olivia Pope. There was a scene from two weeks ago where Olivia takes a stand for all of 30 seconds before she gets her back bent…because the philandering President with the penis of gold unverifiably told her that he had a house built for the two of them (likely with tax payer dollars). He definitely flew her to the house that may or may not have been built for her with a gov’t issue helicopter (definitely with tax dollars). Point is, she knows how ridiculous this sh*t is, but she ALSO knows that if you scoop her up with a helicopter and tell her you built her a house in Vermont, you could bone as many women as you want and come back home…cuz she ain’t going nowhere…and she’ll smile about it.

Ladies? FIGHT ME.

3. As per number 3, you basically get a birds eye view into the mind of a woman like the woman you want to date.

For all intents and purposes, Olivia Pope is your standard issue professional Black woman. She’s educated, multiple times over, from a two parent home (well…kinda…) and drinks wine while wearing killer outfits. She’s a boss. And her life f*cking suuuuuuuucks. She’s lonely. She makes bad choices. She has a thing for white men (not that there’s anything wrong with that), and she especially has a thing for unavailable men. But she’s smart and quick on her feet. She’s remarkably efficient at her job while being remarkably inefficient in her life. Granted, this is not how all women are and most Black, professional women I know are doing quite well and seem to be very happy. But so many women look at Liv as a sort of representative of a woman who is handling her business (which she is). They just forget that, again, her life suuuuuuuuuuuuucks. Point is, women love her because they can identify. Stay woke dog.

4. The men on the show are extremely bad ass.

Some for good reasons and some for bad reasons. Daddy Pope aka Rowan Pope aka Joe Morton is the baddest mofo lowdown around this town (sho nuff). The President has no more f*cks to give and stays checking folks about aforementioned f*cks. The President’s Chief of Staff, Cyrus, is one of the coldbloodiest motherlovers who ever did live (seriously, buddy almost had his HUSBAND offed for the presumed greater good of America), Huck is (or at least was til the third season kind of played my man…) is one of the most loyal, dedicated, and sympathetic characters on television. Point is, everybody gets down and dirty on this show in a way that can be appreciated by all. All the characters are flawed. They’re all McNulty and Stringer Bell mixed into one person without the good looks.

Sidenote: I binged watched Scandal when I was furloughed by our good friends in Congress. Season 1 will suck you right in. Season 2 isn’t as good, but Huck gets his own episode where they delve into his backstory. I cannot tell a lie, I actually shed tears watching that episode because they made his story a little too heartbreaking. You want to root for him because he’s just that real as a dude. And he is/was the one person that Olivia needs in her life.

5. Kerry Washington

She’s kind of far down this list because she gets lost amidst the non-sense of the show, but she’s still a beautiful woman even if she’s pining away for people she shouldn’t be, on bird status. The show’s acting is over the top, but she entertains while looking good.

6. The only reason you probably refuse to watch it is because all the women love it.

Which is a stupid reason. It’s a good show, if not entertaining. Choosing not to watch it because women swoon too much over it is perhaps the worst of the reasons not to check it out. You could attack the premise. You could attack the side-piece ness of nearly EVERYBODY on the show (seriously, I’ve counted at least 4 sidepieces on this show…even the sidepieces have sidepieces), the lack of realism at times, Quinn (who we all want to die), Liv’s wardrobe consisting of only white, or maybe it just ain’t your thing. But for all of those, you’d have to watch it to know. And you’re not doing it. Besides we like tons of sh*t that women hate and tolerate because they care about us.

7. Scandal provides you with the best game ever.

I see via Twitter and Instagram, fellas are laming out daily. What’s the hardest part about pulling a chick? The cold open. You need something to talk about right? Well there’s a better than 50 percent chance that you can go in with a Scandal reference and totally win. Fellas out here thinking that their sardonic disdain will work in their favor. Sure it will get you a convo…one you don’t want. Besides all the bad chicks are watching Scandal. I know this because they’re all tweeting about it. And I am too.

I’ll stop there. Those are good enough man-centric reasons to watch Scandal.

Stop b*tching and start a revolution.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. SNAKES ON A PLANE aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Don’t Cry Bro! People Are Watching!

He is definitely going to cry in the car.

He is definitely going to cry in the car.

As I do on occasion, I was having a very interesting conversation with a very interesting woman in my life. Now this particular friend is one who I’m able to confide in and she does the same to me. We tend to tell each other the good, the bad, the ugly; Big said get your money ain’t no tellin’ if they gon’ love me.

Well, this particular interesting woman with whom I’m was having a very interesting conversation, who also happens to be enlightened beyond Photoshop’s capabilities went on a date to see a very popular movie now with a man. In said movie are some scenes that may or may not draw some emotion out of the viewing public. In short, the man cried.

Or as we say in the Black community, man down. Pimp in distress.

Now my homegirl told me that while watching this movie she turned to her manfriend who she saw shedding thug tears and he hit her with the “don’t look at me” move. I’m a proponent of the “I’ve got allergy” sniffle and sweep. But you have to prepare that one in advance. You don’t just get allergies at the movie theater. None of this is here nor there.

My man shed thug tears at a movie that had a scene ‘pacifically intended to draw thug tears. She knew it. He knew it. And even despite this knowledge, she had the same reaction that Future had upon hearing Rich Homie Quan the first time.

She felt some type of way.

*rimshot*

(Seriously, that was dope right? It’s okay. You can tell me. I killed that pun.)

Now look, we’ve had these conversations before. If a man stubs his toe and actually starts boohooing, well yes, you have every right to feel like you have made the same type of decision Kanye made when he drew up the treatment for the “Bound 2″ video. A bad one. A very bad one. A man crying because he hurt his toe is just as bad as that video. It is the “Bound 2″ of b*tchassness. This is fair.

But…

…can I kick it?

Yes you can.

Can I kick it?

Yes you can.

Can I kick it?

Yes you can….

…well I’m gone. What ever is a person to do when something actually draws on real  human emotion but actually displaying said emotion will more than likely cause you to be viewed in a less than positive light. I’m not talking about Draking and driving or getting drunk and calling your ex at night and professing your love and all that jazz. That’s not a good look for any man. But full disclosure, I have definitely cried at Disney movies. The Lion King f*cked me all up. And it was supposed to. When Nemo’s mommy got ated all the way up at the beginning of Finding Nemo…I definitely may have cried for Argentina.

To date, I have shed tears because of two songs: Donny Hathaway’s version of “A Song For You” and Phyllis Hyman’s “Be Careful (How You Treat My Love)”. Both have drawn real emotions out of me. In fact, I can remember the first time I truly listened to the Phyllis Hyman song on the way to NYC and damn near having to pull over because it affected me so much.

I’m as manly a man as you’re going to find. There’s no one in town half as manly, I’m (nearly) perfect, a pure paragon. I mean you can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley, and they’ll tell you whose team they prefer to be on. So if I ever feel a need to shed a tear, I’m comfortable enough in myself to do so. I’ve heard people say that crying is a cleansing, and I don’t know about all that, nor do I know if we each have a destiny, or if we’re all just floating around. What I do know is that if I’m watching a movie and something that is supposed to make people cry happens, and I cry, and you look at me like I’m crazy I may have to pinch you really hard.

I realize that crying is one of those divisive topics when it comes to manhood. Any man can cry over the loss of a loved one. Well, he can cry over his momma, grandmomma, children, and if he knows his father, maybe his father. Oh, and abrupt and sudden losses of friends are also okay. But almost any and everything else is out because a man who has emotions that can be easily drawn out is a man with an asterisk.

Right? Ladies? Right? Even guys look at men who may shed a tear a certain way. Granted, many of us have cried in front of our boys (if need be). I know I have. But I also really like good things and it hurts when people boo. You can’t just be crying outchea in front of any body either. You’ll either get punched in the chest (ironically this does not help you not shed a tear) or get berated (more irony as this makes you cry on the inside).

I guess my interpretation of the situation is this, we all hear about the situations when it may (or may not) be okay for a man to shed a tear or 27. We know those, but here’s my question, why exactly is it such a turn off for women to see a man cry EVEN at societally determined appropriate times? What is it?

We’ve got to admit there’s a certain irony in fighting gender roles but still holding tight to certain stereotypes of gender specific behavior…right?

Who you callin’ a b*tch ain’t just about women’s rights, ya know!

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka VITAMIN P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIÎIRL HE A 3

 

The Responsibility of Knowledge and Compassion

manThe recent details and verdict in the Steubenville, Ohio, rape case seems to have rightly brought a lot of the issues regarding rape front and center. I watched the Melissa Harris-Perry show this weekend and there was a significant discussion centering around sexual assault and how so many of the conversations around the topic have all centered around the woman’s ability to prevent herself from getting raped as opposed to the idea that perhaps, men just shouldn’t rape women.

Oh, and that if you know a woman like Ronnie from The Player’s Club, you should stay away from her at all costs. She’s a woman with a male mentality. Or at least a “male” mentality when it comes to her outlook on how the world works. I do happen to know a woman like her. And yes, she’s in Atlanta. And she may or may not be apart of my family. I’ll never tell.

But, while listening to all of the discussions, I really took a minute to think about the very idea and concept of sexual assault. See, I can honestly say that I’ve spent very little time ever actually concerning myself with it. To be completely real, not until my daughter showed up did I start to really think about the possibility of “bad” things happening. By bad, I mean roughly anything too. Which is odd considering many of the places I’ve lived in life where “bad” things were just commonplace. Perhaps because of my background I’ve just been desensitized to certain violent acts. But nearly all of them involved violence of men towards other men. For me, thats a norm (or was). The fact that violence is a norm is problematic in and of itself, but that’s another talk show.

Let’s just skip the academics and get right to the point. I have four sisters. To my knowledge, none of them have been victims of rape or sexual assault. To my knowledge. But more importantly, I’ve never even thought to ask. It has never dawned on me ’til today, amidst a Twitter “rant” per se, to ever ask any of my sisters – and we’re all close – if they’ve ever had anybody force them to do something against their will.

Then comes the second half of that thought process: I’m afraid to find out.

Think about it, what do you do if you ask your sister, and she says, “yes, I was raped. But I didn’t tell anybody because who was going to believe me?” What do you do if you ask all of your sisters and they tell you that they’ve been the victims of some sort of sexual violence?

I used to date a woman, years ago, who told me that she was the victim of rape when she was very young. I didn’t even know her that well but that bit of information rocked me to my corps. It still does and I haven’t spoken to her in quite some time.

What do you do when somebody that you actually love and care about tells you that something so heinous happened to them? That’s what gets lost to me in so many of the ridiculous commentary and opinions and the whole  idea that a woman can prevent it from happening. Yes, the chick in Steubenville was drunk off her gourd. That doesn’t mean that she asked for it. And considering some of the statements that the main dude made against her, I mean, as his parent…don’t you kind of have to move? If I found out that my child was the one who engaged in those activities and got caught saying stuff like, “she’s basically a dead boy. I just want some sexual attention.” (or whatever exactly it was that he said), I’d be going to jail as well.

Am I ever going to look at my sister and wonder what she did to invite that violence should she tell me something happened to her? Hell no. The rage I’d feel wouldn’t allow me the time to even allow for that. There’s never a reason to violate somebody’s person, no matter what the circumstance and I’m a bit surprised that anybody thinks that is okay. It truly dumbfounds me

But again, I’ve never asked. And as much as it’s on my mind, I’m likely not to ever do that. Part me of believes that if something ever did happen, I’d already know. But part of me also knows that my sisters know that I’ve got a dangerous aspect to my life. One that’s gotten itself into trouble before and who has been a “squeeze first, ask questions last” mentality type of guy. But the other piece is, I’m just not ready for that answer to be “yes.”

I’m just not. That would be real pain to me. The idea that women so strong could be turned helpless and given up on hope while some man (or Ronnie) decided to prove to her that her life wasn’t her own bothers me as I’m writing this.

The thing that makes the Steubenville case so important is that the guys told on themselves and there are like a million “accomplices”. We’ve never had such a window into how a woman was treated so disrespectfully before. Hell, she didn’t even know until she found out via others. I can’t imagine what that feels like.

Ultimately, this entire episode caused me to evaluate my own thoughts because despite being raised around nothing but women, I’ve always viewed them as sisters, not women. But when I realize they’re both sisters AND women, I have to realize that the possibilities are endless. Hell, I don’t even like going out with them because of the attention they get.

Because of where that attention might lead and what that might lead me to (have to) do. Its the proverbial head in the sand approach.

Seems like the approach many of us have taken. The problem is that at some point you have to take a look to see what you’re avoiding, so you can make sure you’re still avoiding it. Hopefully you don’t see a trail of blood and tears.

Because once you know, you know, ya know. And if you know you have to do something, right?

Maybe that’s the problem. And that’s a problem.

-VSB P

Deconstructing the Destructive Tendencies of Men Towards Relationships

We never mean to hurt you. Seriously. We don’t.

We just have no clue what we’re doing. Well, we know what we’re doing, but we have no clue what we’re doing.

Let me back this train up a bit before it gets rolling. Back in March, I was a panelist in the MadameNoire series, Ask A Black Man. In said series, I made a statement that was easy enough to digest at the time but over the course of time I’ve really thought about why it’s true. What I said was this:

“I’m not a bad buy, but I’ve definitely made some bad guy moves.”

I dont remember what this was in response to but I think that’s the case for a significant portion of us menfolks out here. The truth is, most of us aren’t really bad guys intending to lie, cheat, and be the most inconsiderate people ever. To the contrary rather. I’d wager that most guys want to be stand up people and be viewed favorably by everybody they come across. There is definitely a segment of the male populace that couldn’t give any less f*cks if you stole their soul and sold it to Robert Johnson for a bag of skittles. Those individuals do exist.

But again, that’s not the majority. Most of us want to meet nice women, sleep with most of them, but fall in love with one who we can’t wait to settle down with and hear a little person call “mommy”. Some of it is programming, but a lot of it is our natural desire to procreate and have live in protection-free lovin’.

But the line between single and married is a journey full of pratfalls, bad decisions, and regrets. Especially for men. See, most of us well-intentioned individuals, again, have no clue what we’re doing.

Sure we know how to spit a little game and get second and third dates and bed a lot of women. It’s really not that hard if you have even a little bit of personality and talk to you.

Quick side story: A few years ago, an ex-girlfriend of mine who by this point was a good friend of mine (it can happen), was listening to me talk about my various dating situations and a few involving women who just did not f*ck with me anymore. She listened without saying much, save for a few “mmhmms” and “why did you do that? okay” here and there. After about 10 minutes of the convo she said, “P, you know what your problem is, you have no clue what you’re doing. It’s like you want everybody to like you and you don’t want to hurt anybody so you end up pissing more people off in the process. Is the truth that hard? It can’t be. You’re telling it to me. But at some point you have to realize that sometimes you have to let people hate you. But even before you get there, you’ve got to make better decisions upfront and realize that for every one of these small bad decisions you make there’s another person at the end of it wondering what the hell happened and why? But no, you just fly by the seat of your pants and hope it all works out only to ultimately create enemies out of women who would make valuable friends to you if you’d just been straight up in the first place.”

Well, damn. And ouch. Not that I’m sure they’d all be “real” friends in that I do think that once I entered into a relationship, many would just fall off. But her point wasn’t lost on me.

Back to the lecture at hand. When dating or single according to our FB profiles, many guys will entertain the whims of a lot of women. Not just the ones he’s interested in, but also the ones paying him attention. What’s a little convo going to hurt? Nothing. Except we all forget that time means a lot to women. You give a woman you don’t know an hour of time on the phone she will likely view it as time you could have spent doing something else but you chose to spend it with her. Texting good morning everyday? Yeah, dumb move if you’re not feeling her because many women assume that makes them special. It’s nothing to send that text but they don’t know that you’re not going out of your way to think of them. Again, nothing bad buy about it, its just that we don’t view time and/or attention the same way.

So say we’re doing this with muliple women. They don’t know. Why should they? The right hand doesn’t need to know what the left hand is doing. Both men and women subscribe to this ideology. But instead of ever having a conversation about what’s really going on, we just decide to forego it and see where things go. With everybody. And naturally, one tends to stand out above the rest. She’s usually as poison as she can be…you know the rest.

Now none of this is a problem. Until it becomes one. At some point the women are all going to ask you what’s up and you can give them all the same line but this is when bad decisions come into play. See, not wanting to hurt any of them we find little ways to reassure them that we care and that they’re around for a reason. What’s the reason? Who knows. But we never say that. Why would we? The truth might hurt.

That would suck.

We pretend we care about these other women, except we don’t. Or at least not until its too late. All we care about is not hurting them. That’s not caring, that’s selfish. Instead of being straight up with them we hope 2 things happen: 1) that they’ll just go away on their own if we stop talking to or seeing them as much; and 2) that they never end up having to be hurt by being confronted with the half-truths and lies we’ve told. Some if it isn’t even lies. Some of it is delusion on the part of the women. I will always believe this. But that doesn’t absolve me from providing the clarity needed to temper some of that delusion (all of it isn’t going away…let’s be real).

So instead of handling the situations up front and being clear and fair to all the women we may or may not have been dealing with, we just deal with the aftermath. Women aren’t stupid. They realize eventually and they get pissed and upset because two things women hate more than anything are being ignored and not having full information. The third which ties with them both is believing there’s another woman in the picture which fuels the first two.

Now again, even after all of that, none of this intentional. It’s all done out of hopefully not hurting any particular woman. Except, we do more damage this way than we would by being straight up. And we KNOW this.

We KNOW.

That’s the worst part about it. We know better. Most of us know what we’re doing even if we don’t know what we’re doing. It’s not on purpose but the end result is the same. By attempting to be benevolent through selfishness, contempt and animosity unfold. Sure we’ve got a woman who is probably unaware of all of the drama around her because of him (or in rare cases ends up being apart of it…maybe that’s not so rare) and we’ve decided to be true and real with this one, but how many women did we break on that journey?

We’ve all got pasts and men and women have done things that we’re not proud of to people who didn’t deserve it. But most of it could be prevented on the front end. Some of this is just part of the game. You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. Hearts get broken all of the time. Again, it’s part of the game. And what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. But how the hearts get broken is the problem.

You keep trying to play it cool and eventually you turn cold. Hopefully we meet a woman who makes us care enough to straighten up before that. But that doesn’t change the past.

Even if it isn’t on purpose.

You might think that this is a young man problem but there are men of all ages doing this. And women of all ages getting caught up.

If you ever get to a place in life where a sincere apology doesn’t help, you need to re-evalute your life and what made that apology moot. And that assumes you intend to do so. To be fair, there are times when an apology will do more harm than good.

Again, the worst part is that most men going through these things are the good guys. The ones who do care about women and want to get married. But good guys give a damn. And giving a damn means you try not to hurt people. And trying not to hurt people means you don’t be straight up. And not being straight up means you hurt people. And hurting people means you made some bad guy moves.

This is no excuse nor is it a plea to justify the non-sense that many women have dealt with due to many of our issues.

This is my interpretation of the situation.

Damn damn damn James.

Church.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. REALNINJATALKIN aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3