Tag Archives: malcolm x

Landmark Moments In The Black Community – The B-Sides

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We black, we know it. We dancing. It's our birthday. Booty butt cheeks. Booty butt cheeks.

This has been a good week for Black people. Really, it’s been a good week for those of common sense but I figured I’d just skip the niceties and go right to where I care the most, my kahmrunitee. Tyrese. Obama’s (military) accomplishment and ensuing speech will be remembered long time like a favor from an Asian chick who works at Happy Endings Got Me Working Day and Nite Spa. While it’s not nearly on the same plateau as Dr. King’s “I Have A Dream” speech, or the assassination of Malcolm X – and Martin for that matter – as landmark events in the Black community go, for current day ninjas, it’s our moment. They’re the kind of moments you will remember forever. Even if you weren’t even alive for them. They resonate.

You know, like the OJ Simpson verdict.

From Brown vs. Board of Ed to Alice Walker’s The Color Purple to Michael Jackson taking that final Moonwalk towards the sky, the Black community has a lot of moments that are and will be commemorated for eons to come. Little martian children will read about great accomplishments and beam…possibly up Scotty, but a beam is a beam.

But you know, there are also some events that are AS significant (okay not really) that don’t get nearly as much attention. You know how on old vinyl records, there was always a B-side record? It wasn’t as good as the hit on the A-side, but intended to get some attention and pull for the artist as well. We here in the Black community have a lot of B-side moments. Such as?

Glad you asked.

1) The death of Ricky

I don’t care how old you are, you know that Ricky’s dead. In fact, any time I see a Black man running, I’m compelled to yell out RIIIIIIIICKY!!!!! with the force of three titans and two foster children named Shane. Boyz N The Hood was our first real look at South Central from a place we could care about, unlike Colors. We cared and when Ricky got shot, we cried. I remember seeing it as 12 year old and begging my uncle to never take me to South Central. Why? I didn’t want to get shot like Ricky. ZIG ZAG RICKY!!!! DON’T RUN STRAIGHT!!!!

Speaking of deaths…not quite on par but close enough….

2) The death of Stringer Bell

I promise you that I heard screams in my apartment building when Stringer got shot. Despite him being the one character I was ROOTING for to get murked, something about Stringer resonated to all of us. Every woman wanted him and every man wanted to be him. Again, DESPITE the fact that he might have been the most shady, ruthless, f*cked up character on the show. And if that was a spoiler, then let me add this too…

2a) Bodie getting bodied on the corner

Probably didn’t hurt as much but dammit if it wasn’t hard to see the one dude you really liked just as a straight up soldier catch a bad one.

3) Nipplegate

It’s the point where we realized that it really was us against them. Justin sold out Janet and never looked back. Her career never really recovered and she was forced at gunpoint to do Tyler Perry movies. She participated in one of the most retarded scenes in cinematic history…oh and that scene would be the ENTIRE film Why Did I Get Married Too. Justin went about his business to make more millions and just be white. All over a nipple. Who hasn’t seen one of those. I’m looking at one right now. Damn shame.

4) Halle Berry bares her boobs in Swordfish

Just a personal landmark for me. Nothing more, nothing less. The guys I was with? We all stood up to clap. Nobody cared though, that movie sucked donkey nuts.

5) Tupac/Biggie/rapper deaths

I’ll bet more ninjas know the birth and death dates of Tupac and Biggie than King or Malcolm X. Young and old.

6) The Game Season 4 premiere

Apparently it was the most highly watched cable program after the summer solstice but before the winter solstice on a Tuesday in November both before and after 8pm while going up on the downstroke. Or something. Point is, more of you ninjas watched the Game season premiere than would show up to a rally on education inequality. That says something. What? I don’t know. I was watching it too.

7) Whitney Houston tells us that “crack is wack”

Just like everybody else, I watched that interview and saw Bobby sweating like he stole something. Then Whitney hits us with the quote that will live longer than she will, “crack is wack”. She also asked for a receipt for all the drugs she’d done which subsequently showed up online a few days later. Notably, nobody believed her.

8) Some guy gives Tyler Perry a check to put on a stage play

Somewhere in Atlanta, a homeless Tyler Perry finishes up a manuscript for a terribly predictable and horribly written stage play starring him as a woman. He added some gospel, some really long songs, and a cast of other ninjas nobody’s heard about, and convinced somebody to give him the money for that first show. The rest as they say, is showbiz history. Nobody can pinpoint the moment where it all went left, but it happened. Spike Lee’s guitar gently weeps. Or it would if he could figure out how to come up with a decent ending for a movie. Spike has worse endings than 15 year old virgins.

9) We find out the DC Snipers are Black

Sad, sad day for stereotypes everywhere. Except them ninjas got caught sleeping. Literally. Just like Black folks.

10) Kanye West says that Bush doesn’t care about Black people

As unpoignantly poignant as his statement was, it somehow fit exactly what the entire Black community felt. This is also the point where people started believing that Kanye read books and/or was somebody to talk politics with. Boy were those people wrong. Point is, Kanye did Kanye things, and we’ll never forget. Like the Alamo.

That’s ten. What else you got? What are some sort of glossed over landmark moments in the Black community?

Shake something.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. LOOKING AT THEM GIRLS WITH THE DAISY DUKES ON aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Happy Thanksgiving!

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To all those good people of VSB who venture here daily and comment to their hearts content, we humbly say thank you.  And we’re not just saying it either, if we could hug you all, we’d do it.  But since we can’t, you’ll just have to settle for these kind hearted words and sentiments.

With that said, I figured that today would be a perfect day to just, go down the list of things I’m greatful for.  With so much drama in the LBC bad stuff in the world, sometimes you have to just take a step back and realize all of the greatness that is out there.  And no Panama is not going all soft on you.  Heaven’s no.  I just robbed two old ladies with a slingshot and the threat of bootleg Polident, so my gangsta card is intact.

But it is Thanksgiving, the Redskins are still Indians, Liz is still protesting, and Black folks still have the itis.

So, without further ado, here are things I’m thankful for:

  • good health – with all the H1N1, STDs, and bad breath going around, I’m amazed I’m still standing, but you ain’t really freshazimiz (yay, our first Bow Wow quote)
  • my daughter’s good health – can’t say enough about this one.  That’s my heart. Plus she’s got teeth now and if she senses foolywang, she tries to bite me.
  • Plies, Gucci Mane, Bangs, etc – for providing me with hours of endless entertainment
  • The ability to read – with unemployment looking like it is right now, I’m so glad I can read the tea leaves
  • Reasonable (-ish) gas prices – I’m still driving a damn monster of a vehicle and it still drinks gas like hoes drink…well, you know…
  • Liz’s patience
  • The Champ’s ability to so defly use the shift+ key for capitalization.  He’s a tru-master at that.
  • Indoor plumbing – after hearing the tales of the toilets that were basically just holes in the ground, I’ve got a new found appreciate for the toilets in my home.  Just yesterday I dapped my toilet up and said, “good job dawg”
  • Adam Lambert’s AMA performance – if only because it’s finally good to see a white dude get in some trouble for some stuff he does on screen, even though I totally think he’s getting shafted by the networks (um, no pun intended)
  • Jay-Z’s ability to not respond to Beanie Sigel’s ridiculous barbs at him – seriously, Beanie?  Grow a pair and stop acting like a petulent child you petulant f*ck.
  • Speaking of Jay, Beyonce’s inability to know when to call it quits – seriously she needs to take some time off, but then who would women hate on?  Rihanna?? She’s still recovering from the gloom hand of the decade.
  • My girl – because she puts up with a lot.
  • Barack Obama’s first year in office – mostly because I never thought I’d say those words and the name attached was colored.  Still can’t do the Chia Obama thing though.  I’ve t-shirts, that should be enough.
  • VSB – because without this site, who would I be?  Aside from being this uber-sexxy trey-piece with an opinion and no forum?  Besides, I’m working on editing the end of Malcolm X so that all the kids say, “i am VSB”.  It’s not going so well, but I’m working on it, and I’m thankful that I have a job.
  • Running this blog sh*t – sorry, the cocksman came out of me on that one.  But I mean, you know how we do it.

Well those are just a few things I’m thankful for this Thanksgiving.  What are you all thankful for?  And don’t be shy?

Tell Uncle P all about it.

The floor is yours.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3

*Admin Note: We are taking the rest of the week off here at VSB HQ.  Enjoy your Thanksgiving and see you next week!  Also, check out guyspeak.com, where every Wednesday I post a new blog about something Girls’ BFFy.  Also, I answer folks questions every day and boy do folks ask some strange questions.  So get thee to Guyspeak.com!*

Blackness 101: 10 Things All Black People Should (At Least) Be Aware Of…

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Barnes_Ernie_SUGAR_SHACKClearly grammar should be on this list since you’re not supposed to end a sentence (or a title?) with a preposition, but oh well.

Bumaye Panama.

I can’t believe we haven’t done this.  We’ve done movies that all Black people should know.  We’ve done songs that all Black people should know.  We’ve beat into the ground the Black in America series.  For goodness’ sake, we’ve mentioned Flavor Flav on this site at least 100 times.  It only seems natural that putting out the definitive list of all things that Black people should (at least) be aware of would be the order of the day.  But no.

I blame Jim Jones Lil Mama Kanye for this Shawne Merriman Chad Ochocinco Whitney Houston little orphan Annie Lil Wayne for this.

Anywho, I feel that the canon of Blackness needs some kind of direction.  And who better than yours truly, the expert on all things expertly to provide some guidance into things that pretty much should be par the course for all people of the diaspora regardless of class, religion, orientation, or grade of hair.

And so it begins…10 Things All Black People Should (At Least) Be Aware Of… Continue reading →

six most important black movies of the last 30 years

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last week, panama blessed the verysmart pulpit with 10 songs all black people should know. today, i’ll walk you all through my beautiful mind as we take a look at the six most important black movies of the last 30 years (why six? because today’s january 16th. duh).

before i continue, i want to make a couple things clear:

1. by “black movie”, i’m referring to movies with themes that are specifically black.

to expound: if you took the same premise and replaced every black actor and actress in the flick with whites, could you have made the same movie? if the answer was yes (ie: “friday” or “the best man“) then no, its not a black movie…just a movie with black people in it.

2. remember, this is just measuring “importance” not “best” or “champs favorite“. please keep this in mind while admiring my list.

***in reverse order***

6. glory

glory-dvdcover

reason for relevance

–the story of the 54th of massachusetts, glory was the most powerful depiction of the active hand 19th century blacks had in building our country. most other big-screen portrayals up to that time had pre-construction era blacks as docile and passive victims at the whims of the white teet, but glory showed that we had some fight in us…and that we were patriots and sh*t. if this means anything, i also get verklempt every time i watch it.

as my man heath stated bluntly a few years ago, “after seeing this, i didnt have to fake sleeping through history class anymore”

–also, the movie contained quite possibly the best on-screen insult ever, when morgan freeman’s sergeant major admonished an incorrigible denzel as a “smart-mouth, stupid-ass, swamp-running nigger”. i’d give a months pay for the opportunity to say that to someone.

5. school daze

194406school-daze-posters

reason for relevance

–spike lee’s depiction of black college life and the intra-racial class and color conflicts among us still resonates today.

–along with “a different world”, “daze” helped to keep HBCU’s on the radars of black youths around the country. it also remains the only musical that a heterosexual black male can freely admit to enjoying without reproach

4. menace 2 society

menace2_society

reason for relevance

—although less popular than the equally critically acclaimed “boyz n da hood”, menace more accurately captured the increasingly nihilistic nature permeating our inner cities. america was scared sh*tless by the fact that someone like o-dog existed (which the book “monster” proved even further), and larenz tate’s performance in this flick cemented the young champ’s fear of midgets.

3. do the right thing

do_the_right_thing

reason for relevance

—lets put it this way: any movie released that makes people fear for the possibility of race-riots and the safefty of the mayor of new york is an important f*cking flick

—also, any movie that could inspire the young champ to rock kinte-clothed hoop sneaks…

air-raid-ii-peace-black

…is an important f*cking flick

—supposedly this movie served as the first date for a young shelly robinson and barry obama, which also makes it an important f*cking flick.

2. the color purple

the_color_purple1

reason for relevance

–eh. next.

1. coming to america

1155446493_coming_to_america

reason for relevance:

–from soul-glo and “queen to be!!!!” to “martin luther the king” and randy watson’s sexual chocolate, no movie produced in the last 30 years has had as many instant quotetables, and as much of an lasting and panoramic impact on black popular culture. maybe it’s not as racially charged as a “rosewood” and maybe it doesnt provide a satirical social commentary like a “hollywood shuffle”, but “seriousness” isn’t the only way to define “importance“.

***also, from a racial rabble-rousing point of view, you can’t ignore the intra-racial impact of prince hakeem discarding a banging, barking, brown-skinned nubian princess for a giant foreheaded, light-skinned, bootlegged, burger chain heiress on an impressionable black populace. honestly, it took me at least six years to realize that shari headley was maybe the 6th or 7th most attractive woman in that movie. color-struckedness is a b*tch.***

toughest omissions:

malcolm x

—although its one of my favorite movies of all-time, and easily the best of the big black biopics (ie: “ray”, “ali”, “bird”, and “whats love got to do with it”) of the past couple decades, i couldn’t include it because it gets credit for the short-lived exaggerated black awareness/consciousness movement in the late 80′s/early 90′s that was actually spearheaded by “do the right thing”. its akin to giving kanye credit for the soulful sample mixing production style when he clearly is emulating the rza. i have no idea where i’m going here, so i’m just gonna stop.

hoop dreams

—forget about the basketball backdrop (which was remarkable in itself). this documentary perfectly mirrored the dynamics involved with thousands of struggling black families across the country, and, with arthur agee’s dad, introduced the world to the “functioning crackhead”

thoughts, vsb?

—the champ

***btw, please raise your hand or some sh*t if you’re gonna be in the dc area for inaguration***

negro como yo

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like billions of others, in august of 1984, i spent a good portion of my time glued to the tv watching the olympics. i was too young (five years old) to really comprehend many of the sporting events taking place, but since they seemed to involve lots of running and jumping and swimming and throwing and sh*t, i was hooked.

to my dismay, though, i noticed a common theme amongst the majority of the participants, a theme that disturbed me the more and more i watched. after a couple days of this, i’d grown fed up and gathered all the gumption a five year old could possibly muster, approached my dad and asked,

“do i hafta be white to play in the olympics?“

now obviously, in hindsight, the 29 year old champ knows that the men and women taking place in the olympics that year spanned all countries, cultures, and races, and creeds, but my five year old eyes weren’t lying. i knew what i saw, and i saw (what seemed like) 10 white athletes to every “other”, and i needed to know why and how that was possible.

along with the fact that it showed my parents they were raising an extremely weird peculiar and neurotic child, this story also signifies the first time i can recall being racially aware. since then, from an eight year old champ feeling sad because he realized that each of his crushes at school were light-skinned and that he was possibly colorstruck (true story. like i said, i was an odd child and sh*t, lol), to a teenage champ reading “race” and the “autobio of malcolm x” during commercials while i was watching the lakers or the bulls, the concept of race in general (and my “blackness” in particular) has been an obsession.

as i’ve grown older, this obsession has morphed into the form of a columbo-esque racial irritator, poking my unusually large head and nose around to attempt to debunk as many myths and “truths” as possible. yet, despite the number of generally (and lazily) assumed “facts” i’ve discussed, debated, and eventually discounted, theres one answer that has continually eluded me, an answer to a question that will become more and more relevant the further we go into the 21st century…

…is there a shared “black american experience?”

on the surface, this question seems at best, shortsightedly naive, and at worst, f*cking ignorant. despite the myriad nuances we possess as a community, its thought to be common knowledge that theres a shared experience we all participate in, a general consensus of commonalities that transcend status, class, and location, and anybody suggesting otherwise is either an idiot, ignorant, or intentionally inciteful.

thing is, what exactly does the black experience mean? in today’s america, where class distinctions are beginning to take full precedence over racial ones, how is the “universal black experience” determined?

i know it can’t be defined by our struggle with racism, because in today’s america, for every black american who’s had to face racial adversity, there exists those (read: “me“) who honestly can’t name one instance in their personal lives where being black became an obstacle (yup. you read that correctly. i’m a 29 year old black man who can honestly say that he’s never had to face any typical of unambiguous racial discrimination. ***knocking on wood***)

you can say that we’re linked through our hypertension soul food and baptist/methodist churches, but many southern whites hold these institutions just as dear as we do and many bougie northern blacks wouldn’t know soul food from sole’ so we can’t claim sole ownership (although, in the case of soul food, we could have claimed “finders keepers“, but its a bit too late for that now).

i guess you can note the unique way we move and express ourselves through music as the one thing that links us all, but if this is it, if the only shared experience is thats completely unique to us is limited to our rhythm and swagger, then, ummm, our experience definitely needs more people

hmmm…with all this being said, my question to you is…

…is there an all-encompassing, all-unifying “black experience“…or has this term become obsolete?

***before we answer these questions, lets rewind back to 1984 to see how my dad answered the question from the five year old champ***

“no, you don’t hafta be white, champ.”

i remember my dad remarking, while we were watching what had to be a particularly unattractive russian gymnastic team

“but, to be on that team, it seems like you’d hafta be ugly”

—the champ