Through the course of American history, we the people have witnessed some great triumph. We’ve witnessed athletic feats that made us marvel in awe, and we’ve witnessed deft political maneuvering that allowed us to dare to dream of a brighter future. There lives a place where no dreams are deferred but thrive and persist.
We have bombed atomically. Socrates philosophies and high prophesies could NOT define how we’d drop these mockers and lyrically perform armed robberies. YES. It is enough to make you feel like you could flee…with the lottery.
And theeeeeen, there’s all this other sh*t. You see, without tragedy, there is no triumph. And lucky for us, there are more than enough people who are willing to tragically go where no man has gone before, except that’s not true at all since generally, letting men go where “no” man has gone before is usually what starts the tragedy in the first place, leading to th….SERIOUSLY WHY IN THE F*CK DOES OMAROSA HAVE A SHOW…the downward spiral of the funnel cloud in the second. What am I talking about? Glad you asked.
You see, in pop culture, we’ve witnessed folks who have taken the plunge so that the rest of us at least know what f*cked the f*ck up looks like. Who you ask?
1. Lauryn Hill
Lauryn Hill was the woman every man wanted and the woman every woman wanted to be like. She was hot. She could sing and she could rap better than most dudes. She could act and she had beautiful skin and hair. Le sigh. Then she met a Marley and got welcomed to Jamrock and 17 children and two bongs later, Lauryn Hill is calling the Pope a child molester IN HIS HOUSE. She releases The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, an album that redefines…something (I was never a huge fan)…and wins beaucoup Grammys and the respect of the world only to disappear and then reappear looking like Raggedy Ann’s stund double with a guitar and one chord. She could have been iconic. Now she’s the posterchild for what happens when you get in cahoots with a Marley. Nas, I’m looking at you. Glasses.
2. Maia Campbell
Hands down, Maia Campbell was one of the baddest chicks to EVER walk the planet. During the 90s she was the default baddest chick everywhere. Slightly hood with a face a thug and a banker could love. Even despite her myriad attempts to tank her own career through movies (Trippin’ - though I loved it and own it), the short lived TV show South Central, and LL Cool J’s In The House, nothing could stop her fineness. That is except crack. Apparently crack can f*ck your couch proper. She went from de facto prom queen to the chick in the car eating Cheetos coming straight from the ‘hood. Nobody wants to bone her anymore, which is sad because for a solid 7 years, she’s the one chick that everybody wanted for some birthday sex. And no, there is no good reason to actually own Jeremih’s album.
I kind of view him as the combo male equivalent of Maia Campbell and Lauryn Hill. All the musical ability in the world derailed by crack and his own inner demons.
He dead. Tragedy.
5. Lauren London
This one hurts for real. So pretty. So young. So much potential to be so pretty so young. Then she becomes stop number 3 on the Lil Wayne Baby Batter Drop Off Express and made everybody stop and say, “wait, she boned Lil Wayne?!?! On purpose?” I can’t even lie. I lost so much respect for her that I can’t even watch the movie ATL the same anymore. You kilt me dead, New-New. You kilt me dead. Really she’s only a tragedy because she’s pretty. If she looked like Precious, I’d probably hi-five her and say good job.
6. Martin Lawrence
America’s funniest man on TV to brandishing a strap and slapping an old woman on the corner of Florence and Normandie in South Central.
He dead too, y’all.
Anyway, those are just a few folks that came to mind who qualify for tragedy status. Good folks of VSB, who else qualifies? Who fell from grace…and stayed down? Who?
WHO SAID MY NAME?!?!?!
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka VITAMIN P aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3