You Forgot To Be There.

Little Scrappy?

A vast many of you don’t watch Love & Hip-Hop: Atlanta (LHHATL). Congratulations. Consider yourself either lucky or oblivious. It’s one or the other. I, myself, have only seen two full episodes: the first one (I wrote a recap) and this past Monday’s episode. Rest easy, this will not be a recap of a show that apparently nobody here watches or that everybody here is above.

Naw, in one particular scene, Lil Scrappy recounts the story of how he and his baby mama recently “fell out”. Scrappy Doo apparently suffers from asthma and occasionally has asthma attacks. To quote his “girlfriend” Erica, “you have asthma so you have asthma attacks.” A true flair for simplicity, that one has.

Anyway, Scrap apparently had a really bad asthma attack. One so bad that he ended up in the hospital for a few days (!). Now, I’m no expert on the condition though my sister and nephew have terrible asthma, but they don’t always end up in the hospital. That usually is reserved for truly bad attacks. So Scrap-dutty had a bad asthma attack and his baby mama, who he was living with and who was physically with him when it happened…bounced before he got to hospital. Rather, she had one of his boys take him to the hospital so that she could go to work. This (of course) was enough to make Scrapdoogetydog feel like she didn’t have his back and thus move out and leave.

Erica, obviously not understanding how men operate, really didn’t seem to get it at all. To her the ninja has asthma. Asthma attacks happen. She made sure that somebody was there with him. What’s the big deal. Scrap felt like she should have stayed with him instead of going to work. Shenanigans ensue. The end.

This reminds me of Love & Basketball where Quincy took a step back from Monica (same thing Scrappy is doing) because “she forgot to be there” when he needed her most. She prioritized something else (her curfew so that she could start the next game) over him and he took that extremely hard. So much so that he took another chick to Burger King. In college, that’s big. I don’t care what anybody says.

“You forgot to be there….”

Amazing how significant that is to us men. I’ll chalk some of this up to pure selfishness and ego. We expect loyalty out of our women even if our concept of loyalty is shaky at best. Part of this is just how it goes. Women tend to devote themselves to us so when you notice that your woman has effectively placed other stuff above you, well, you notice. And it’s a clear indicator in our mind that we’re not as important as we think/thought we are/were. That’s a very sobering thing for a man.

Plus it doesn’t help that women seem to have this uncanny knack for pulling that when we need y’all most. Kind of ironic, if you think about it, most men will be there (at least I think so) if you need us, we just drop the ball when you don’t but would like us to do better. But for us, the entire concept of being there emotionally (Quincy) or physically (taking the ninja to the hospital) means everything.

In my mind, Monica absolutly should have stayed there with Quincy as long as he needed her. She was his rock, the person he could trust and rely on for everything. At the moment she left, she showed him that he couldn’t count on her at all times. Same thing with Scrappy…his girl bounced on him when the ninja (in his mind and heart) was going through it. Was he going to die? Probably not. But if you’re an asthmatic and you’re going through an episode I imagine that the inability to breath would absolutely make you feel that way. But you know what? This ninja needed some assistance and stat and the one person he felt should be there for him said “naw ninja, I need to go to work, Mook Mook will make sure you don’t die.”

I’d kick her to the curb to. She doesn’t care and proved that she still didn’t get it anyway. She forgot to be there and she just lost one (not that she cares, if you watch the show you don’t get the impression that she truly wanted to be there anyway…well, not all the time).

Maybe women deal with disappointment so much from us that they lose expectations anyway of us being there. But women so rarely disappoint us (does this make up for Monday?) that when you all do, we take it extra hard.

Point is, ladies…if your man is in the bed next to you AND CAN’T BREATHE…take him to the hospital yourself, mmkay pumpkin? Not doing so would be the one area where you, as his woman, are totally f*cked up.

So what do you think? Should she have taken him to the hospital herself or is her job to make sure its taken care of? What are the times when its warranted that you prioritize other stuff above your mate, short of life or death? Fellas…can you feel me??