Still a bit confused on how this whole points thing works
***This is a revised version of an entry that originally posted three years ago. Enjoy***
In August of 2008, Panama blessed the VSB pulpit with “wlsg,” an entry which provided a definition for “light skinned points”
Light-skinned point(s). noun. 1) the additional attention that fairer skinned light skinned women receive over their darker-skinneded sisters whether or not their face actually warrants any attention at all. 2) the assumed increase in attractiveness laid before melanin deficient black women whether or not their face actually warrants any attention at all.
***For those still unclear about what this means, just think Evelyn Lozada.***
Yet, although this term gets the most mileage, it’s far from the only time black people assign “Points” — the possession of an attribute or characteristic that makes a person seem much, much, more desirable than they really should be.
Here are 10 more.
1. Dark-Skinned Black Male Points
Single-handedly responsible for the popularity of Wesley Snipes, Taye Diggs, and at least two of them 112 n*ggas.
2. “She looks good for her age” Points
A few years ago, I had a 40-something colleague who all of the older (and younger) male teachers were sweating, as well as a few of the students, who’d always remark “Damn. if she looks like that now, imagine how fine she was at 25″. I agreed, until I saw a 20 year old yearbook picture of her, and was shocked to see that she looked exactly the same. At 25, she looked like a really good looking 47 year old.
3. Poet Points
I originally was going to just make it “Black Male Poet Points” until I remembered that female poets and spoken word performers have their audiences in a certain trance as well. Seriously, if you’re a Black spoken word artist and you still can’t get any kind of romantic rhythm, maybe sex with live humans just isn’t in the cards for you now, or ever
4. Big, ummmm, “Ego” Points
Put it this way: There’s a reason why at least 7 percent of the cats in every hood have never bothered to get driver’s licenses
5. “Good” hair Points
For many black men, the allure of the “good” hair is just as strong if not stronger than the light skinneded points. Seriously, I’ve seen n*ggas do back flips for minotaurs in pumas just because they could imagine playing in their hair
6. “Thick for a White girl” Points
For those who doubt the power of thick for a white girl points, ask any 28 to 40 year old brotha if he’s ever had a prolonged fantasy about big-bootied and strong-faceded Jenny Von Oy.
7. Black Male Blogger Points
Um, moving on…
8. “Shes a well-adjusted freak” Points
Because of the peculiar mammy/madonna/whore complex that affects how the Black community regards our women, orgasmic women who don’t sleep around but actually get great pleasure out of having jungle monkey matrix sex (and aren’t the least bit shy about admitting it) are at a premium, even if looks wise they happen to be more John Kerry than Kerry Washington.
9. Black guy who only dates Black women Points
Um, moving on again…
10. Foreign accent Points
N*ggas love nan’s (non-American nigg*s) with “exotic” accents more than midgets love Ikea. Seriously, if you’re a Black man or Black woman who’s having trouble dating, just barricade yourself in your apartment with tapes of Hugh Grant or Penelope Cruz for a month and practice sounding exactly like them.
That’s it for now.
People of VSB.com, did I miss anything?
Are there any other “points” out there that you’ve seen successfully affect someone’s desirability? Also, do you personally possess any “points” and, have you ever been “influenced” by an otherwise unattractive point haver?
—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)
