10 Thoughts About Kanye West and My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy When The Rainbow Isn’t Enuff

Let’s start at the beginning – this album is a classic. And if the term classic is too nebulous for  you or you think that no album can be called as such until its lasted the test of time, then let’s just call a spade a spade…

…the only person who could even come close to making an album better than this is Kanye West. Not Dre. Not Jay. Not Lil Wayne. Nope, Kanye’s only competition at this point is himself. Lucky for him that’s probably still too much competition for him so he’ll probably  have a heart attack challenging the mirror to an album-off, die of exhaustion, and then go down in the annals of rap history as the best producer of all time. OF ALL TIME!!!!

Now that we’ve got that out of the way here are 10 things to think about.

1) This album really is the best produced piece of work I’ve heard in years. Kanye swung for the fences and might finally get that Grammy for Album of the Year that he wants so badly. Dramatic production, actual musical arrangements, crystal clear mixing, full and developed compositions, technically sound, risky, etc. In a time of what seems like the most minimal beats possible catching our imagination, Kanye does the complete opposite and gives the most body and volume we’ve heard since Dr. Dre produced Doggystyle and The Chronic.

2) Which leads to this minor problem – just minor – Kanye gets lost a lot in the music. It’s so heavy on the production side that Kanye almost becomes an afterthought, which is easy when he stops rapping 3 minutes into a song that lasts for 7 minutes.

3) If the only song on this album was “All Of The Lights” I’d still say it was a classic album and would go on the television circuit and say it over and over again. I can’t tell you how much I love this song. I want to fornicate with it and make little flourescent children. I want to sing sweet lullabyes to it while I rescue Chilean miners. I want to sweep with it while I put on an apron that says #1 Booklover. I hope to one day feel about a woman the way I feel about this song.

4) The aforementioned song would be even better if Kanye rewrote his verses. Instead of an odd song about baby-daddy situations on one of the most triumphant beats ever, perhaps he could write about something more fitting, like himself. He does that so well, why pick THIS song to take off?? That Kanye, what a card!

5) I have to wonder why he gave it such a gaudy title. Most classic albums – and I’m sure if anybody knew what he was doing it was Kanye – have very easy to state short album titles (nowadays anyway). Like The Blueprint, Aquemini, etc. Like how do we even shorten this. We’re ninjas, we call ninjas named DJ “D” for short. Do we call it Fantasy? My Beaut? Darky? Sexxy Two Piece? Me no know. And why now does he decide to go gaudy after the rest of his albums had rather pointed titles.

6) Kanye has officially placed himself in a lane all by his lonesome. There is no other producer out there who can say they are doing what he’s doing. I felt like the Quincy Jones/Stevie Wonder comparisons were premature before. Now they’re apt. And for you geniuses out there, that’s not shorthand for apartment.

7) I have no idea why “Monster” AND “So Appalled” made this album. Not together. It reminds me of the time in college when these twins wanted to be Kappas. They were carbon copies of the eachother down to the grades. So for that line (which was only taking 5 seniors and they were seniors), either they took both and lose out on somebody else or none. Like how do you distinguish between ninjas who were literally the same. That line? Choose neither. Kanye did the opposite.

8 ) I’m vastly underwhelmed by the Pusha T experience thus far. But in fairness, I never liked him that much to begin with. He’s rather boring and you could replace him with any other rapper and probably have gotten more excitement. Except something called a Cyhi Da Prince who adds nothing either. No jester.

9) I’ve honestly never been as impressed with an album as I am with this one. In fact the only word I could mutter after listening it through the whole way through the first time was “f******************ck”. I actually yelled out my car to an old white lady, “was that as good for you as it was for me?”

I got her number.

10) I think Kanye leaked this album himself. For three reasons: 1) It’s the clean version; radio stations can (and have) run hogwild with the sh*t well before its release and drum up more excitement; 2) Kanye ain’t even the least bit pissed and  has been on Twitter telling folks his favorite songs; and 3) Kanye isn’t as concerned with money as he is his legacy so he can do that and realize people will still purchase it. He’s one of a few artists that will sell ESPECIALLY once people hear how great it is. Plus he’s already rich and dates racially ambigious birds AND women.

Oh, and listening to this album does not make his video make any more sense. But the music is as brilliantly vivid as the imagery and color he used in the video.

Thank you Kanye for making an album that I want to lay down and caress and touch and massage. I’d lick this album’s toes. Thank you Kanye for making me want to lick toes.

Any thoughts? I know you heard it. And if not? Holler at somebody.