saturday night, the champ was among approximately 30 or so very smart brothas and sistas (plus a token white guy, invited just in case hbo ppv required that someone with good credit co-signed the purchase of the pacquiao fight) gathered for march’s “game night”, a monthly rotating house party/excuse for pittsburgh-area professional black people to drink juice-box coronas and eat homemade meatballs while playing spades and taboo.
as you can imagine, game night is also a prime hook-up opportunity for many in attendance, as well as a great chance for those already coupled up to observe the multiple social etiquette faux pas committed by those actively looking for their next ex.
here’s a few of my favorite.
1. mr. or ms. “i haven’t figured out yet that i’m wasting my time trying to hook-up with someone who’s clearly not that interested in me”
whether its because of the alcohol or the (relatively) polite setting, there always remains a couple people so unaware of social cues that they continue with their full-court man-to-man press even though the other team is already back at the fucking hotel.
***btw, vsb’s and vss’s, if you ever think you’re in this situation, be mindful of one thing: laughter. basically, if you’re having one of those “i’m exchanging meaningless words with this person just to gauge their interest” convos and they haven’t even cracked a nervous smile or chuckled once, chances are that they probably think a wii directions manual is more interesting then you***
2. ms. “i probably should have either worn a belt or lotioned her butt crack if i planned on sitting like this all night”
a faux pas only rivaled by ms. “i have giant boobs and i’m giving all the guys too familiar hugs“ on the list of “relatively harmless things that will get a woman a seriously strong collective side-eye in a roomful of sistas”
3. mr. “i’m rocking enough unforgivable to suffocate a fuckin moose ox”
usually, this is also the same guy rocking an outfit specifically chosen to accentuate his gold bracelets, as well as the too competitive guy sweating through his shirt while playing charades
4. the “we just now realized that we’ve been talking to/sleeping with the same guy” twins
one of my favorites, along with their close cousin,
5. mr. “i should have looked at the invite list and realized that both of the chicks i’ve been sleeping with were coming so i could have stayed my ass at home“
anyway, people of vsb.com, i’m sure i’m missing a few. can you think of any other faux pas of house party hooking-up?
the floor is yours and sh*t
—the champ