while its extremely difficult to define what exactly constitutes a “ho”, like good point guards and bad weave, we can all confidently say that we know one when we see one.
with this in mind, and keeping with vsb.com’s commitment to fight crime, i’ve decided to bless the vsb pulpit today with the twelve biggest ho’s in human history. enjoy
***btw, breath easy overit and redbeanz. i edited the list down from “14″, so your names didn’t make the cut***
with over 888 recorded offspring (the most in world history), moulay the bloodthirsty laid more raw pipe than bob vila. if boning indiscriminately was bad hair, he’d be tameka cottle.
jenny curran
when you consider the fact that jenny lived during the most promiscuous era in american history, and was (chronologically) a southern college student, a playboy playmate, a stripper, a hippie, a rock rodie, and a black panther groupie, and
was probably the first hiv positive hetero white female in the country, the over/under on how many people she slept with has to be at 500.
karrine “supahead” steffans
question: when supahead’s son is teased in school about his mother’s nickname and exploits, do you think he gets pissed, cries, or just says “f*ck it” and shrugs it off?
or (and this is my favorite theory), do you think he rips on her first, a preemptive roasting strategically done to quell outside attacks, like steve martin in “roxanne”?
magic johnson
put it this way: anyone who (according to the rumors) used to grab a skittles bag thrice per week, pour out the contents, and bone whatever color came out the bag (for instance, if two yellows, a red, and a purple dropped out, he’d sleep with two asians, an indian chick, and a sista that night) deserves placement on the list
better known as odeipus rex’s mother and eventual wife, the queen also makes the cut on my top ten “least likely to be invited to any more family picnic’s” list
prince charles
makes the list solely for bagging the ugliest mistress the world has ever seen.
travis henry
do you realize how hard you have to work to have eleven kids by ten different women in nine different states? i mean, when you consider this, as well as the facts that he was a habitual weed smoker and nfl running back (two activities proven to kill sperm cells), you can make the argument that henry’s spunk is stronger than kimbo slice.
honestly, they need to redo that chuck norris site and just have “travis henry’s spunk facts” (ie: “travis henry’s spunk doesn’t read books. it stares them down until it gets the information it needs” and “there is no theory of evolution. just a list of animals travis henry’s spunk allows to live”)
erykah badu
for those surprised with her name on the list, name another never married 30-something multi-millionaire woman with three kids by three different men.
take your time. i’ll be here a while…and so will you.
wilt chamberlain
forget the fact that he slept with 20,000 women. dude was seven feet tall, 300 pounds, wore a size 20 shoe, and reportedly had hands that measured 14 inches (!!!) from the palm of his hand to the tip of his middle finger.
i’m more amazed that there were 20,000 different women in the country with the sexual ability to sleep with him without giving themselves a hysterectomy.
bill clinton
of all the clinton concubines, were any of them (including his wife) even above a 4.5? it never made any sense to me. you’re the most powerful man in the world, and the best you could do were construction clerks and waffle house waitresses?
tonya cooley
the lebron james of reality show sluts, tonya’s the gold standard, the perpetually bent over bicycle benchmark in a genre defined by hotivity. she’s to fuzzy screen “they’re not having sex in there, are they?” sex what zoe saldana is to movie tokenism.
helen of troy
lemme get this straight: she single-handedly caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of men killed in the trojan war, as well as the demise of millions of schoolchildren around the world, dead from boredom after being forced to read her tale in class…all because she couldn’t keep her hot ass panties on???
helen of troy, f*ck you.
that’s it from me. did i miss anyone?
—the champ