The homey Dom sent this email to the world famous VSB e-mail box. It’s a regular box-o-fun at VSB central.

This particular article takes a look a the fine art of hooking up. Now, if you’re like me (which means Black and went to an HBCU and who’s contact with white people is largely confined to his 9-5, yearly family functions, and The Hills), you may have absolutely no idea what “hooking up” actually means. I’ve been asking this question for years but an answer has eluded me. Hooking up has become one of those things that nobody could define but everybody knew it when they saw it.

Kind of like pr0n.

Well this fine fellow at the NYTimes has come-up with a definition:

(For those over 30 years old (admin. note: or under 30 and Black or just Black): hooking up is a casual sexual encounter with no expectation of future emotional commitment. Think of it as a one-night stand with someone you know.)

Well, I’ll be. Al B. Sure!

This makes sense to me. Now that this is out of the way, this chap examines the idea that perhaps dating is passe and the hook-up is in full effect. Or at least this is the case for the young crowd. Kids are foregoing relationships for the hookup:

According to a report released this spring by Child Trends, a Washington research group, there are now more high school seniors saying that they never date than seniors who say that they date frequently. Apparently, it’s all about the hookup.

I should point out that just because more young people seem to be hooking up instead of dating doesn’t mean that they’re having more sex (they’ve been having less, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) or having sex with strangers (they’re more likely to hook up with a friend, according to a 2006 paper in the Journal of Adolescent Research).

Interesting, isn’t it? Responsible irresponsiblity. But so what, kids are hooking up; why does this matter? Well it matters because kids hooking up become grown-ups with no idea how to date or function in a healthy relationship. Basically, they’ve never taken the time to learn how to develop relationships.

To wit:

The cons center on the issues of gender inequity. Girls get tired of hooking up because they want it to lead to a relationship (the guys don’t), and, as they get older, they start to realize that it’s not a good way to find a spouse. Also, there’s an increased likelihood of sexual assaults because hooking up is often fueled by alcohol.

Now really, none of this has anything to do with the price of pantyhose in Uruguay, but this does get to a larger question: are we, the current crop of 20- and 30- somethings well equipped for relationships? And what about those coming after us? Our parents generation was the last one where folks stayed married despite the drama within the marraige – assuming your daddy was even around in the first place. At this point, there’s no taboo on divorce and sexual freedom and indulgence has reached an apex, or at least it would have if the economy wasn’t tanking and buying hookers wasn’t such a strain on one’s finances.

Eh, you win some you lose some.

My point is that from an early age, we tend to learn a lot about relationships from our parents, but if parents are quick to dismiss relationships or not work on themselves in order to make things work, what model do we really have to follow? Could that be why kids are hooking up moreso than dating now? They just don’t know how? And if so, how does that bode for the future of relationships?

Or am I making a mountain out of a molehill like the dude in the article? I actually think the article really had no point and dude just saw some statistic and wanted to write about it but had no angle so he did his best to turn a non-starter into something. Hell, it’s kids.

Or is it?

What say you, VSBers, are so many relationships going the way of the dodo bird because we just don’t know how to be in a relationship anymore?

Deep.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P