Tag Archives: homosexuality

The Danger of The Sexuality Spectrum

Posted on by
363

I'm sure they're very interested in today's comments

I read an article a couple weeks ago (I’d link to it here, but I forgot to bookmark it and I honestly can’t remember where I read it) where the author used the gay marriage in New York news story as an introduction to their feelings about how all sexuality is on a spectrum. Basically, there are two ends — 100% straight and 100% gay — and most of us fall somewhere in between.

I have to say, out of all the theories I’ve heard trying to explain why we’re attracted to who we’re attracted to, this makes the most sense to me. While some argue that you’re born with your sexual orientation and others remain steadfast by the idea that it’s a conscious choice, the logical conclusion seems to be that the box you decide to check on the sexuality SAT’s comes from a combination of nature and nurture.

But, if we admit that your placement on the orientation spectrum is dependent on myriad factors — a theory more and more people seem to believe — don’t you also have to accept the validity of more “dangerous” theories such as the belief that a person can choose to become “ungay” or even that prayer can influence sexual attraction?

I mean, a person who’s born, I don’t know, 90% gay or 90% straight (according to the orientation scale) probably isn’t going to be swayed by an experience or some really creative Bible study classes. But, if someone’s born in that 30 to 70 range, it’s not too far-fetched to suggest that people such as Dr. Marcus Bachmann (husband the horsemaiden of the Apocalypse, Michelle Bachmann) and Dr. Joseph Nicolosi (a psychologist with a really shitty website who believes that therapy is an effective solution for modifying sexual orientation) might be (partially) right.

Maybe there’s truth to the idea that, for some people, the environment they grew up in can definitely help decide their orientation, and maybe there are people who can genuinely be convinced not to be gay (or straight).

Now, I understand the danger of accepting this as truth. It would give fuel to each and every anti-gay doctor, pundit, politician, and person who believes that gayness is curable, and if some gayness can be “cured,” all gayness can be cured. But, what might be even more dangerous is us — the “enlightened and educated” populous — being just as intellectually lazy by completely dismissing the fact that some of us were (and still are) an experience or even a discussion away from being gay (or ungay).

Anyway, people of VSB, I’m curious: In regards to our sexual orientations, do you believe in the spectrum (the theory that our orientation is a combination of nature and nurture and that we all fall somewhere inbetween 100% gay and 100% straight), nature (we’re born the way we are), or nurture (a combination of experiences and conscious choices decide our sexual paths)?

For those who believe in the spectrum, do you also think that a person’s orientation can be changed? If not, why not?

Lastly, do you believe that women’s sexuality is naturally more “fluid” or that both genders are equally fluid but we’ve just been socialized to believe that women have more inherent sexually flexibility?

—The Champ

The “I’m Lucky I’m Black” Passes: Things Black People “Get Away With” That Others Can’t

Posted on by
559

There’s an episode of “Louie” — the hilariously awkward and awkwardly hilarious FX series starring comedian Louie C.K. — where a older male police officer asks Louie for a kiss. The cop had just gotten Louie out of a tight jam, and the kiss would be the reward for that service. Since the cop was rather cool about the request (and since the cop seemed rather desperate), Louie obliges, planting a kiss on his lips. The cop thanks him, and they go about their ways.

Now, in real life Louie C.K. is by all accounts a heterosexual family man. In fact, much of his act (and much of the show) is based on him being a father and husband. But, even if this wasn’t true, even if we knew absolutely nothing about his personal life, most (reading) adults realize that actors occasionally have to, well, act, and that cop kissing scene alone wouldn’t be enough to convince anyone that he was homosexual.

Louie C.K. is also white¹, and his whiteness allows him a certain peculiar privilege, a privilege my girl (who was watching the show with me) quickly observed.

“It’s weird. That scene didn’t make me think twice about whether he was straight. But, if a black male comedian did the exact same thing, I can’t lie; I’d question whether he was completely straight. I know it’s a ridiculous double standard, but it’s true”

Although that statement wasn’t exactly politically correct, she was completely correct. Men like Jake Gyllenhaal and Matt Damon can star in movies like “Brokeback Mountain” and “The Talented Mr. Ripley” and still be considered 100%  hetero, but black male actors aren’t afforded that same luxury. Sh*t, there are still bisexual rumors floating around about Will Smith, rumors stemming from a movie he did two decades ago.

This double standard goes beyond the silver screen. For instance, if I were to post some Facebook pics of a few white frat boys jokingly and drunkenly wrestling and hugging each other a bit too closely, your first thought would probably be “Eh. Typical crazy college white boys.” If these frat boys were black, however, the thought changes from “typical frat boys” to “typical Mean Girls of Morehouse.”

This, this “pretend gay” pass, is one of the myriad passes unique to white people, not as game-changing as the “get an easy bank loan” pass but definitely much more useful than the ultra annoying “if college aged, allowed to end every single sentence with an interrogative inflection” pass.²

But, since we’re already aware of the hundreds of thousands of “white” passes, I’m actually more curious about the “black” passes — things black people can get away with that whites (and other races) just can’t — and I thought of a few.

The “say somewhat insensitive things about other races and still feel no real repercussions” pass

Let’s just say that if I founded a website called VSR (Very Smart Rednecks) and allowed black people to be referred to as “1613′s” (Why 1613? Because the 16th letter in the alphabet is “P” and the 13th is “M,” and the PM stands for “Porch Monkeys”) in the comment’s section of said site, I most likely wouldn’t have made business cards advertising the VSR, I probably wouldn’t be so quick to put my real name on the cover of the VSR relationship book, and I definitely wouldn’t have rocked a Very Smart Rednecks t-shirt yesterday evening while taking some black people on a tour of my apartment.

The “beat our kids in public” pass

At the extra snooty Whole Foods two blocks down the street from my place, I once saw an entire checkout line full of people stare down and ice grill a woman just because she forcefully grabbed the arm of her out of control child.

At the much more hood Giant Eagle a mile or so away, I once saw an entire checkout line nod their heads in appreciation and admiration as a woman forcefully choke slammed her not really all that out of control child.

The “I’m a grown ass man/woman who still needs some “time” before I’m ready to get married, and it’s perfectly ok” pass

Um, moving on…

The “wait, did you call me a n*gger???” pass

Donald Glover actually joked about this in one of his stand-ups, but once a black person has been the real (or perceived) victim of any type of racial injustice, we basically have carte blanche to do whatever the hell we want. Seriously, you can go to an Apple store and take a piss and full dump on every iPad, but not only would you get off if you tell the judge you thought Steve Jobs called you a n*gger, you’d probably be able to sue (and win!)

Anyway, people of VSB: did I forget anything? Can you think of any more “black” passes? Also, are there any “white” passes you’d trade one of your most valued black passes for?

¹He’s actually part Mexican, but since he looks white, that’s all that matters.
²Is this just a Pittsburgh-area thing, or do 18-25 year old white woman across the country all end each of their sentences with the same inflection they’d use if they were asking a question?

—The Champ

 

Sweetmeat.

Posted on by
361

**Admin. Note: Vote. To the left, to the left. Thanks. **

People say that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. And I wholeheartedly agree with that statement.

I’ve been to Vegas.

Well, I also think that same logic applies to jail. What happens in jail stays in jail unless you were shanked by somebody, in which case the statute of limitations on returning the favor is pretty much unlimited.

However, given the circumstances of those men who are placed in jail for extremely long sentences, a question becomes evident to me:

Is it acceptable for a man to be gay in jail?

Umm…not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Think about this: people need personal interaction to live in this world. I don’t care how much of a loner you are; we all need some skin-on-skin action in our lives. That’s what prostitutes are for, to provide a service when you can’t get any skin-on-skin action from anywhere else. Much like video h*es, prostitutes don’t get enough credit for the service they provide to humanity.

Why would this change in jail? Especially when you have to spend years in a place where the only female might be a prison guard who is only sleeping with the death row inmates.

[***DISCLAIMER: Before we go any further, let me clear few things up. I'm not gay, nor do I live a gay lifestyle...not that there's anything wrong with living a gay lifestyle. I'm not even a metro-sexual. In fact, I'm still confused as to what a metro-sexual means since my take means almost gay, just doesn't know it yet. Once again, not that there's anything wrong with that. I have no problem with gay people, gay marriage, pink, flamingos, or John Legend. Nor do I plan on going to jail. I just think it’s an interesting topic. ***]

Of course, the other side of the game is this — what happens when he gets out? Would it be okay if he was gay in jail for, say, 7 years, and then wasn’t gay when he got out? Now, this is in direct conflict with the notion that people are born gay. Then again, jail is in direct conflict with the notion of a mixed genitalia world.

And what with EVERY woman thinking that EVERY man is either gay, gay-curious, or just DL anyway, the thought that its acceptable to say a black man can be gay in jail and come home and be un-gay might make me eligible to be incinerated at a Ponderosa Steak House — which is similar to being burned at a stake, only not at all.

But back to the point, is it even possible for a man to be gay in jail and actually come back out and live a heterosexual life? From a “desire” standpoint? I have no clue. And maybe that is where the answer lies. But…Donnie McClurkin was gay and he turned his life around.

Hmm…that was a judgmental statement that assumed that being gay means your life isn’t going in the right direction being as we only use the term “turned your life around” when referring to any negativity that you pursued prior. I mean when was the last time you heard somebody say, “wow, that Jim sure turned his life around” in reference to somebody going from being a God-fearing Christian to a Satan worshiping cat-screwer?

So, let me rephrase. Donnie McClurkin became — un-gay.

Do we believe that a gay man can become un-gay and not lust after the pleasures of the manflesh?

Like I said, I don’t know the answer.

However, for sake of argument, and assuming that a man could become ungay after leaving jail, assuming also that he would be eligible for parole at some point during his prison sentence, but not before at least 5 years…

…is it acceptable for a man to be gay in prison?

And to throw fuel on the fire, would you (women out there) date a man if you knew he was “prison gay”?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST