“how do i recognize a good dude? i mean, are there any signs and sh*t i should look out for?”

along with, “champ, how does it feel to be completely omniscient?” and “champ, is it true that you once ate an entire cake before your friends told you there was a stripper in it?“, these are probably the questions i’m asked the most frequently.

typically, these are questions young daughters are supposed to ask their fathers, but since big gay carl winslow is the closest thing to a daddy many black women have seen, knowing how to recognize a good dude is a skill that many of ya’ll (and “us” )seemingly don’t possess.

with this in mind, today the champ has decided to give you all a short list of three somewhat overlooked characteristics that all “good dudes” possess.

mind you, you won’t find pedestrian sh*t like “he loves his mama” or “he’s honest” or “he hasnt tried to bone either of my nieces“, or “he’s only had one charge, and that sh*t didnt even stick” on this list, since all of that should go without saying. no, these are three seemingly minor characteristics that are fool-proof tells…traits that all good dudes will own.

***also, please note that i said “good dude” and not “nice guy”. there is a difference. of course, being nice (at times) is good, but gary ridgway was nice to women too***

1. his close friends are also good dudes

there’s no surer sign, no more concrete indication that a man is a good dude than if his close friends are good dudes too. with no exceptions, every guy i know who i’d consider to be a “good dude” has nothing but other good dudes in their immediate circle. basically, if a guy is repeatedly telling you stories about his best friend, and this “best friend” sounds more trifin than eating food with utensils on the bus, run.

also, most good dudes have at least a few friends that they’ve known since childhood. ladies (and fellas), beware of the man whose close friends are all “new”.

you see, good dudes are good dudes because they have character, and guys who have character are usually also great judges of character in others. good dudes realize that high character friends are hard to find, which is why most good dudes will do everything they can to keep those other high character friends in their circle.

**this is also one of the reasons why men make better friends than women do, but thats another topic for another day (read: tomorrow)**

2. he actually likes women.

***please take a second to re-read this for ultimate resonance***

done yet?

ok.

this may seem a bit elementary and self-explanatory, but you’d be amazed at how many women i’ve known who were interested in and/or in relationships with men who hated their entire gender. (to be clear, by “hating women“, i’m not referring to cats who, ummmm, “pitch from the paint“, but perfectly straight heterosexual men who hold women in more contempt than pei mei)

good dudes like women. its that simple.

3. he has at least one “checker“

no, i’m not referring to a lonely ass board game, but, regardless of their age, all good dudes have at least one person who can “check” them if need be. whether its a parent, a former coach, a older cousin, a teacher, or whatever, every good dude has someone in their life that can put them in place if they ever manage to get out of pocket. vsb-er superwoman put it best:

“BEWARE of guys who have no family authority/or mentor figures they respect. If it’s not their dad, then their older brother, uncle, priest, boss, teacher, mentor – SOMEONE who can talk sense into him when he’s bugging out, or in need of guidance in difficult times…

if he is one of those people who ‘no one can talk to’, as is my a$$hole ex-bro-in-law, then stay far, far, far, FAR away…. a man who respects nobody will wind up disrespecting YOU.”

thats it (for now). fellas (and ladies), did i miss anything?

—the champ