So you know how folks say that when you first meet somebody and start dating, etc, that its your rep calling all the shots and being front and center? Well of course I believe this. I also believe in magic and miracles. Oh, and that I can fly. I totes can fly.
Or at least my representative can. My representative can do anything he sets his mind too. My representative can whip your representative’s ass and then tell you a gallant tale about the time he cut Joe Louis’s hair. Or something like that.
Thing is, while most of us do fully intend to be our true selves, we mostly bring the version of ourselves that we love to the table. See, while I can be remarkably jovial, the truth is, most times I sit alone in my four cornered room staring at candles. But if ever I go on a date, well I’m going to be the happiest go luckiest mofo lowdown around this town. There’s nothing wrong with this, believe it or not because both people tend to bring their reps to the table.
Sure she can’t cook, but she’ll talk about her favorite thing to cook that one time she cooked. No, he can’t change a tire, but he’ll overstate how helpful he was that one time he watched his boy rebuild a transmission and how it made him feel like a man.
Recently I got told that I “play a f*cking character online”. This made me think of my representative. So here’s the rundown of the Panama Jackson rep. [Sidenote: I'm pretty consistently the same person in person that I am online, or at all times in general as I suppose most people are...but its always fun to do some self-analysis.]. Who is my representative?
1. He talks passionately about politics
I’ve said before that I couldn’t care less about politics; ironic considering my employment. But he can wax philosophical about current events, political disposition and name at least 50 Congresspeoples.
2. He relates to foodies
You know who isn’t a foodie? Moi. In fact, I’m so unfoodiesque that I openly eschew fancy pants little exclusive restaurants for wings. A ninja like me, likes wings. But, interestingly enough, I’ve been to and tried an inordinate number of swanky, expensive bistros and places that only use cloth napkins. Real talk, as long as the fancy ass restaurant has wings, we can go there any time of day boo.
3. He’s into home decor and interior decorating best practices
Okay, this one might actually be true at all times. HGTV really is my channel. Hmm…
4. He likes Robin Thicke
I can’t for the life of me figure out why people love Robin Thicke, but my representative can find some appreciation for a few songs of his. Though I can’t lie, this all goes bad as soon as the discussion turns to “Lost Without You”. That’s the point where I give up on it all and start singing the praises of “Pop That” and why French Montana, while being detrimental to mankind love the kids as much as Wu Tang.
5. Doesn’t know who David Tutera is.
Aha…the opposite day one. Can’t come off as too into stuff like “Say Yes To The Dress” at first right? Women scoff at stuff like this at first then, expect you to want to watch it with them later. Funny how
time flies when you’re making love this stuff works. Seriously, can somebody explain that one to me?
So while nobody condones lying, and I definitely believe everybody should be themselves. And to be clear, these are all parts of me just not the parts I spend the most time developing of myself. I think we all bring a certain version of ourselves to different tables. So who sits at the table when you first meet somebody new? And don’t pretend like everybody’s perfect. It’s Friday…
…who’s your rep?
Petey Jakes. Out. <—- That’s my rep’s name. He’s a rapper.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. OH NO HE DIDNT YES HE DID aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3