18 Questions For Dat Azz On A Friday

Hey, young world. It’s Friday in the land before time and your wife is cheatin’ on us. Thanks to Richard “Dimples” Fields, there is a song called “Your Wife Is Cheatin’ On Us”. And the actual song sounds as ridiculous as the title.To be fair though, it sounds like the kind of song a ninja named “Dimples” would make. Down to the singing.

You’re welcome.

Anyway, after all of that wortwhile and whimsy discussion over the past few days, I figured I’d drop a few things on you all that have been on my mind for a lil while. Janet Jackson suggested that we wait a while, but then she also said anytime, anyplace.

I was going somewhere with that, but forget it. I give up. Let’s get right into some things that have been on my mind for a while. 18 questions, if you will.

And in general, these are all things that keep me up at night and would stand to create at least 2 or 3 hours of solid, actual debate and discussion amongst me and my friends. Welcome to my world. Whose house? P’s house.

1. Just when in the hell did bacon become so popular? Seriously, bacon has had like the best two years ever. It’s always been good, but when did it get a PR team and become the hottest thing since The Beatles?

And then there's that.

And then there’s that.

2. Am I wrong or was DeVoe the least talented member of New Edition? I got into an argument with my boy about this the other day. He steadfastly defends that Biv was the least talented as he claims DeVoe was the best dancer in the group. I think this is wrong since Bobby was clearly the best dancer. Here’s my hierarchy of New Edition, talentwise: Ralph, Bobby, Johnny, Ricky, Biv, DeVoe.

3. When was the last “neighborhood” ass whippin that didn’t result in somebody’s parents calling the police? Back in the day you could get beat by all your neighbors before you got home for doing something stupid. Now? Your own parents are afraid to beat you. When did this happen?

4. Here’s a good questions that is probably not really a good question at all: when you start dating somebody, are you responsible for their self-esteem? Like should you make it a point to do your best to ensure that they have the highest sense of self? Or should you just make sure you’re not doing anything to destroy their esteem. Seems like a stupid question, but think about it.

5. If you put 2 bloggers in a room, and take away their blogs….are they still bloggers?

6. Let’s settle this once and for all, Michelle Obama…hot or hot because she gives Obama street cred?

7. Why are elected officials whose sole job is to come up with new and innovative ways to fix problems ONLY able to come up with solutions that either haven’t worked in the past or are too stupid to possibly work in the future? How can a nation full of innovators manage to assume that if you put daddy in the house all problems will be fixed? I was raised by my daddy and it’s amazing I’m not doing federal prison time right now. Real spit.

8. Which was a more significant non-reality Black death, Ricky or Stringer? And if either of those names constitutes a spoiler alert for you, then I feel sorry for your mother.

9. Hell, what was the most significant Black death in a movie? I’ve got some theories, but I’m curious.

10. I once heard that profanity is the last resort of a person with limited vocabulary. I’ve always disagreed with this since I’ve definitely dropped perpetuity and lascivious in a convo earlier today. This made me think something, I find that the ability to curse well is an attractive quality in a woman. Not that I need a woman who curses up a storm, but I can appreciate it. I just realized that sounds like I hang with people named Mendeecees.

Speaking of…

11. I said this on Twitter earlier, but I don’t feel like there’s enough conversation around the fact that 1) a man named Mendeecees and a woman named Yandy managed to find each other AND find love; and 2) two people with those names doesn’t even move the needle in 2013.

12. Neither of those last two items were questions? Also, does adding a question mark make something a question? I don’t think so. But you can make an argument.

13. If you answer a rhetorical question, is it truly rhetorical? Philosophy my brother, use it or lose it.

14. Best Janet Jackson album? I’m torn between Rhythm Nation and Janet. I’d take both of those albums out to dinner and pay. I think Janet gets the nod from me. But “Alright” is still my favorite song, like totes ever, by Janet Jackson.

15. Are there natural hair wigs out there? I can’t seem to find any in my Asian owned Black hair care store.

16. Would you love me in the morning without giving you half my dough, and even worse if I was broke would you want me?

17. Does Complex Magazine not have some of THE worst lists ever about music known to mankind? I think so.

18. Won’t you be my neighbor?

I think that’s it for me right now. These are questions that were on my mind. Have thee any burning questions on your mind? It’s freestyle Friday. Drop bombs on them. Ask away and start whatever discussion you want.

And…should you have answers to any of my questions…please share with a brotha.

Posse. Out.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka I ASK YOU ANSWER aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3