Hey VSBs and VSSs in the DMV area, we just wanted to give you a heads up about a Happy Hour we are co-hosting TOMORROW in DC in conjunction with The Usual Suspectz and Elevated Entertainment.
Details below. If you can make it, please come and rep for all the VSBs and VSSs who ask us where do we all hang out at. Panama Jackson (and Liz) will be there to meet and greet you all! Continue reading
What up VSBers,
This is just a quick note to let all the folk in the FAMU/Tallahassee area know VSB’s Panama Jackson will be speaking TOMORROW (Thursday) at their FAMU Man Rising conference. He will be on the Forum For Black Men Panel with Dr. Steve Perry, Wale and Enitan Bereola. Peep the details:
If you’re going, or are in the area and wanna meet up with P, hit us up for more info. The event will be livestreamed too! If and when we get the embed code or link, we’ll create a new post (and possibly a chat) here on VSB tomorrow at 7pm EST. Now back to our scheduled post for the day.
heavy load movie This past weekend, 2/3 of the VSB family, VSB P and Liz, threw a birthday BBQ in Washington, DC to commemorate our ascendance into wisdom and sagacity. You weren’t invited, unless you were, in which case you were probably there since quite a few people I actually didn’t know were there. At my house. That’s okay, this BBQ was practice of Iversonian levels. For what you ask?
The VSB BBQ. You heard it here first. Coming soon.
Anyway.
It’s summertime in your city. The advent of summertime means that every weekend, save for the weather, somebody you know is having a BBQ. Now you might not KNOW that a BBQ is going on, but perhaps you just weren’t invited.
Maybe it’s because you suck and don’t know BBQ etiquette. Lucky for you, I was born.
Allons-y.
VSB Guide: The Do’s and Don’ts of BBQ Etiquette
Do show up with something unless it is specifically stated by the host that you are not to bring a thing. Nothing is worse than the mothertrucker who just shows up to the BBQ, eats all the food, drinks all the drinks, doesn’t help clean up and leaves. If this is you, go kill yourself.
On the other hand, don’t show up with some twist-ties for some trash bags that you did not bring, talking about “I’m contributing to the cause.” I’m not saying somebody did this this past weekend, I’m just saying don’t ever do that again motherf*cker or I’ll run you over with my Magnum with two boxes of Kit-Kats in my trunk.
Do make sure to dress appropriately for a BBQ, which is by most accounts, an outdoor event. At this past BBQ, this chick I know (bless her heart) ACTUALLY showed up with a sweater on because it was “cool” this morning.
By the way, that morning, it was 69 degrees outside. The forecast predicted 80. I don’t care if you’re from the 7th ring of Hell where its usually 2000 degrees, if the forecast is 80, wear some loose fitting and non-wool clothes, duckface.
If you choose not to wear the appropriate clothing, don’t complain to anybody that it’s hot as it will give Panama them free reign to douse your dumas with the water hose. Not that this happened or anything.
Do make sure that if you are going to drink alcohol in the sweltering sun and heat that you pace yourself so that you don’t end up being the dude trying to go to sleep on my somebody’s deck because you mixed too much light and dark liquor together and got sick. It just doesn’t make you look good — you look like the guy who can’t handle his liquor.
Do enjoy whatever food that the hosts provide assuming it tastes good, but don’t complain about what they didn’t cook if you didn’t bring a single thing to the table in the first place. There’s nothing worse than somebody who finds a reason to complain because you didn’t have steak at your BBQ when they showed up with a bottle of $2.99 wine. Seriously, who in the flying black squirrel f*ck drinks wine at a BBQ anyway?? That’s new to me. Perhaps I’m uncultured because at every BBQ I’ve been to its beer and hard liquor.
Apparently as you acquire degrees, folks start bringing Pinot Noir to the soiree. Hey ho. Hey hey.
Do make sure to be social. It’s a BBQ: God’s Social Hour. Seriously, that’s how you can tell whether or not you have a keeper boyfriend or girlfriend. If you take them to a BBQ, a social event by design, and they retreat into themselves and don’t speak to anybody except you, throw the b*tch back.
By the way, in that last sentence, b*tch is non-gender specific.
Speaking of speaking, if you do happen to decide to go to a BBQ being thrown by somebody you don’t know, don’t traipse your happy little arse into the person’s abode or pavilion and not speak to a single person except the person you know. For one, a person like me will call you straight the f*ck out for coming into my establishment on some f*ck sh*t. But also, it’s just rude. And nobody likes rude people. People like nice people who smile and speak.
Maybe it’s the southerner in me, but seriously, that’s like coming in my house and not wiping your feet on the rug. Disrespect.
Well, I think that’s enough out of VSB P for now. What are some other do’s and don’ts that people need to be aware of when attending a BBQ and specifically the upcoming VSB BBQ?
Sharing is caring people. We’re indirectly healing the world.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
Yesterday, I briefly mentioned that many new children will be borneded in Pittsburgh because of the recent victory of the hometown Steelers. Though I was being a weebit facetious, there just may be some truth to those words. That idea got me to thinking: exactly what ARE some events that may have lead to an increase in the birth rate in this here fine nation of ours? I mean, we all know that upon finding out some good news or being apart of some good news tends to make people randy, right? That’s true, right? Right?
Sporting events get people’s blood boiled and emotions rise, but do they pass muster in the grand scheme? Let’s see.
Here are five eventst that I think helped spread the love:
5) Woodstock
Isn’t mud just, euphoric? On the real though, at a music festival intended to promote the ideals of s.ex, love, and rock & roll, you know folks were spreading 2 out of 3. Add a little PCP to the mix and the risky activities probably peaked in the middle of day 2. Every picture I’ve seen indicates that women AND men were giving up the lovin’ at rates unbefore known to man. And yes that counts as scientific evidence towards the fact that I’m right.
4) Million Man March
Though billed as a day of responsibility for Black men across the nation, my guess is that women everywhere were excited at the masses of Black men who seemed to care so much about the progress of the Black community. And you know what happens when Black women start thinking about responsible Black men. Yep: lovin. As in McLovin. Oh yeah. One million Black men too? You know the draws were being tossed at the TV screen from Idaho to Maine so when the man returned home, well, needless to say, I’ll bet they played apart in their own million man march…if you catch my drift.
3) Boston Red Sox 2004 World Series victory
This one probably didn’t really boost the Black love rate but you can’t tell me New Englander weren’t running around on major hump duty after the BoSox won in 2004. I’ll bet lots of “home runs” were hit that night! Heh heh heh. Okay, that was a bad joke but I’m exhausted right now. Sue me.
2) Dr. King’s March On Washington
Civil Rights? Check. Lots of people? Check. Way back in the 60s Dr. King and his organizers put together the March on Washington and I’ll bet lots of marching was taking place behind the scenes. With all of that good vibration and feeling going on in and around Washington because of this event, you know the lots of legal briefs were filed. Throw in the “down for the cause” ness of the March and hormones and love were at all an all time hight. My theory is that this did more for interracial mixing than any other time in history but I have no data to back that up. So we’ll just assume its true because I’m sexxy.
1) Election Night/Inauguration Weekend for President Barack Obama
This one is so easy its almost illegal for me to type it. But have you any idea how much lovin’ was happening because of the good mood and feelings that people were having because of these events? It’s like everybody was in a constant drugged state of being leading to lots of bad decisions, in the name of all that is right. I’ll bet that around September or October of this coming year, lots of little Inauguration Conceptions will become Stimulus Babies. That’s a little budget nerd humor for you. Viva la Obama – now gimme dat ….
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So VSB.com, what are some other events that you think might have led to more lovin’ just due to the sheer excitement or good times of the event? Basically, why were people so happy to jump in the sack??
Where is the love, people? Where is the love?
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P