“You sure?“, my homegirl replied.
“Yup. Game.” I said. “He has you hook, line, and sinker. At this point you might as well be a f*cking joystick. We say sh*t like that around women with the hope that, a couple days later, you’ll have the exact same conversation we’re having right now with one of your girlfriends, talking about how you can’t really figure him out.”
“So he’s making up all of that stuff about his family and his trust issues?”
“Yes and No. I’m sure he’s telling the truth. He probably does have trust issues. He’s a black man in America. We all have trust issues. Sh*t, I’ve know you for five years and I still don’t trust your ass. Seriously though, you’ve known dude for two weeks. That’s not even three episodes of Jersey Shore. If he was really concerned with you helping him work through his trust issues, he would have waited a bit longer before revealing that he has trust issues. Why? Because he has trust issues, so he shouldn’t trust you.”
“So, what does he want?”
“You to prove exactly how trust-worthy you are by giving him some ass.“
1. “I’m not ready for a relationship right now”
Why it’s game: If you polled every woman who’s ever heard this statement from a man, I’d bet at least 90 percent of them would say they heard it during a variant of the following scenario.
Boy approaches Girl while at National Gout Foundation fundraiser afterparty. Girl is visibly enthralled with the neatness Boy’s full beard, Boy’s Escada Sentiment, and Boy’s proper use of the term “Heteronormative” in a sentence. Boy and Girl exchange numbers, and Boy takes Girl on the best two dates of her post-Facebook life. Girl invites Boy over for “dinner”. After dinner, Boy and Girl sit on living room couch and talk. Girl engages Boy in convo, even though she’s so wet at this point she’s scared she’s going to leave a mark on her couch. Between slips of Sutter Home, Boy nonchalantly mentions that he doesn’t want Girl to get the wrong idea because he’s “not really ready for a serious relationship“.
It’s game because, we’ll, we’re not idiots. We know exactly what we’re doing, exactly how horny you are, and exactly what your expectations were entering the night. But, because she’s already thisclose to “go”, saying “I’m not ready for a commitment” at that moment allows a guy to do commitment type stuff (read: sex) while always having an “Hey, I told you I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship” out whenever she presses him for an actual commitment.
How do I know this? Well, ummm, moving on…
2. “You’re nobody to me”
Why it’s game: Although most men won’t actually come out and tell a woman he’s interested in that he thinks she doesn’t matter, “You’re nobody to me” game occurs when a guy treats a beautiful woman as persona non-grata for absolutely no reason. If he sees her with a group of her girlfriends, he’ll speak to and hug each of them except her. She tells a joke, he mimics a cricket. And, not only does he pretend to not know her name ahead of time (Most beautiful women assume that people already know their names before they’ve been formally introduced . Why? Well, because usually it’s true), he doesn’t even remember it after she tells him.
When it concerns her, he’s basically the guy in the audience at a comedy club who’s bored and silent while everyone around him is cracking up. And, as most stand-up comics will tell you, if you happen to notice the bored guy, you become obsessed with him. Why isn’t he laughing? Is my timing off? Was that joke stale? Did I offend him?
This is game because, well, savvy men know that attractive women are used to men paying attention to them. And, even though they might be attracted to that woman, they know that ignoring her can reverse the seduction script. Now, she’s paying attention to him. Why doesn’t he talk to me? Should I introduce myself? How come he didn’t laugh at my joke? When is he going to approve my friend request? How is it possible that I know this ninja’s name, and he can’t even recall mine? Would fellatio help him remember?
3. “You can be intimidating”
Why it’s game: While it’s true that a very small percentage of women are intimidating to a very small percentage of men, it’s game because well, men don’t talk to women who intimidate them. Why? Because they’re intimidated, duh.
If a man actually tells a woman he’s interested that she intimidates him, he must be talking to her. And, if he’s actually putting the effort into talking to her, he’s not intimidated by her. He’s just saying what he think needs to be said to get her to let her guard down, to get her to prove to him that she’s not intimidating at all.
Also, if she replies “What’s so intimidating about me?”, she’s now given him carte blanche to run off a list of each of her perceived faults right in front of her face. Think about that for a minute. She basically tells him “Hey, I’m not even sure if I’m interested in you yet, but go right ahead and tell me everything you think is f*cked up about me. Also, if you say that I’m “frigid and stiff”, I’ll make sure to show you exactly how loose I can be in the back of your Tahoe later tonight”
4. “A woman like you is out of my league”
Why it’s game: Manages to combine the reverse bagging paradox dynamic of the “You can be intimidating” game with a direct punch to the guilt trip muscle every attractive single woman develops after her 28th birthday. Basically, (from an aesthetic standpoint) she is out of his league, but because of her numerous failed relationships with guys “in her league”, this statement starts an avalanche of re-evaluatory mental guilt caused by the memories of all the mundane dudes she’s overlooked. His faux self-deprecation becomes an intoxicant, putting her under a spell of hownormalcanimakemyselfseem just so he’ll give her a chance.
Basically, this is usually how this…
5. “I don’t know. I’ll try to fit you in, but I’m just really busy with a few projects right now”
Why it’s game: Ah, yes. The “super busy man” game. He’s super focused, man. This week alone he has 8 projects due, he’s studying for the LSAT’s, teaching a bartending class, attending a Bar Mitzvah, performing an exorcism, and releasing a line of urban professional lounge wear for midgets and new parolees. He’s getting his grind on, and he wishes he could make more time for you, but for now the Wendy’s drive thru and those 15 minutes in his parking lot will do. And, you’re ok with this because he’s a busy man, and it makes you feel even better that this important man is making any time in his busy schedule for you.
It’s game because no man on Earth has ever been that busy. Sh*t, even God had time to hit the strip club the night after he created trout. But, the super busy man knows nothing dries panties quicker than the thought of a needy man, so he gives the impression that he’s the complete antithesis. He could be free the entire weekend, but a well-timed “90 minutes just freed up for me Friday night. You down?” text to six different women will have them biting like Jennifer Freeman.
Anyway VSB.com, can you think of anything else men (and women) say (or do) when they’re just running game? Also, has anyone been gamed into doing something they probably wouldn’t have done otherwise?
Lastly, although this entry presented game in a somewhat negative light, is game a bad thing? Afterall, isn’t romance in general game in its highest form?
The floor is yours.
***Btw, if you get a chance, go over to Clutch Magazine and check out “How to Make Sistas Swoon”***