Tag Archives: drake

Great Expectations, Pt. II: The Weight Is Almost Over

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A long time ago, I wrote about Drake and the lofty expectations that had been placed upon him by nearly everybody who listened to hip-hop because of his “single”. He managed to become one of the few rappers that women loved (even if erroneously) because of “Best I Ever Had” and his mixtape jacking artists like Lykke Li and and men respected by putting those songs softer songs along side songs with Bun B and Lil Wayne – “Uptown” is as dope a joint as you’re gonna get these days – to insanely successful results. Drake leapfrogged everybody as the next big thing and didn’t really disappoint. He became a standout on every song he was featured on, so much so that Lil Wayned quipped on “Money To Blow” that Cash Money/Young Money would be “alright if we put Drake on every hook”.

And now the wait is almost over. His album is scheduled for a June 15 release.

Yay.

And I couldn’t care less at this point. Sure I love the joint “Over” but I swear it would be better as a Lil Wayne song. It even SOUNDS like a Lil Wayne song with Drake rapping on it. The beat is insane as evidenced by damn near every rapper du jour jacking the beat for their own projects. If anything, Boi-1da is going to get A LOT of work because of that joint and working with Drake. (He’s reportedly doing beats for Eminem, Drake, Big Boi, etc.) But since “Over” dropped, I can count on one hand how many times I’ve heard it on the radio. And he’s had other alleged songs from the album hit the net like “Miss Me” and it’s aptly titled because he can pretty much miss me with that one. I heard a song with The-Dream that sounded underwhelming as all hell too. Granted, it’s only three songs but I’m already disappointed.

Re-read that last sentence. I’ll wait.

*rock smoke break*

Three songs and I’m feeling like Drake won’t live up to his hype. Which is unfortunate because you know when folks are doing well, the haters come out in full force. People have been waiting for Drake to fail since he got going. I actually hope he doesn’t and that the first three songs aren’t fully indicative of the possible mess of an album he has on his hands. So Far Gone worked as a mixtape because it was just that. He didn’t have anything to lose so you do what you feel. Albums are a different ball game. That’s your official stamp. That’s what folks are going to pay for. Great expectations are sometimes, but rarely met.

Then we have this other guy, B.o.B. aka Bobby Ray.

Have you heard of him?

I’d bet a majority of you haven’t. Yet he’s getting all the same features as Drake – Eminem, Lupe Fiasco, Bun B, etc – and making the best out of those connects. His first single, “Nothing on You” featuring Bruno Mars went platinum on iTunes and is a HUGE hit on pop radio and urban formats. About four of his songs have leaked and they all sound dope and different from what I’d expect…

…because I didn’t have any expectations. So I’m happy. I wasn’t anticipating B.o.B.’s album and so I’m good with what he’s putting out, because it’s good. Yet Drake is putting out music that might be the best song on other artist’s albums and I’m not feeling them. Better than the rest isn’t necessarily good; it’s just better.

If anything, it says a lot about where Drake is in the game at this point. The only other people having these problems are 50 Cent, Eminem, and Dr. Dre. And possibly Andre 3000. Lil Wayne seems like he doesn’t give a flying f*ck one way or the other.

While Drake will always manage to be lightskint and will curry favor for that reason alone with some people, I truly wonder if he’ll live up to the hype. He is probably the only artist save Eminem and Lil Wayne with an album that EVERYBODY, haters and lovers alike, will be checking for. I’m now more excited for B.o.B.’s The Adventures of Bobby Ray (April 27th) than Drake’s Thank Me Later (June 15), and it probably isn’t even fair. But B.o.B. is delivering.

So my question is this: can Drake even live up to the hype or does he have to deliver the 2010 version of Thriller? Or Confessions? Or Get Rich or Die Trying?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3

how helena andrews (and every other successful and lonely young black woman) can improve her luck

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i’ve never met helena andrews, and i most likely never will.

but, after reading “successful, black, and lonely” and watching the corresponding video, i can say that i’ve known, dated, slept with, talked to, discussed, consoled, admonished, sympathized with, and theorized about her my entire adult life.

i also know that her washington post profile will probably spawn a nation-wide discussion about the perpetually single successful black female of the saks fifth serengeti, and that ms andrews and her upcoming memoir (“bitch is the new black”) will be dissected, debated, and dichotomized more times than drake’s appeal.

admittedly, i don’t know exactly why ms. andrews herself is single. her lonely lot could be due to anything from bad choices, bad luck, and bad timing to haughtiness, hopelessness, and halitosis. but, i’ve known enough of her doppelgangers to have a pretty good idea of a few things she might be able to do (or stop doing) to improve her fortune: Continue reading →

hay season: the people, places, and things that make me itch

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back pocket

along with unusual virility,  and a head shaped like the working end of a cruise missile, my parents passed an acute sensitivity to idiocy on to me. as i’ve grown older, these sensitivities have become so concentrated and pronounced that i can now honestly say that i’m seriously allergic to bullsh*t.

this affliction is extremely troublesome, as it causes me to start itching uncontrollably whenever i’m in the presence of or a witness to it. in fact, just last week i almost scratched my entire left forearm off when trying to listen to “ghetto techno” all the way through

anyway, because writing about bullsh*t can be very therapeutic and cathartic for me, i’ve decided to name a few more people, places, and things that have been making me itch.

black men who sound like white men trying to sound black (aka “the stu scott” or “the kappa”)

yo, champ. this blog is slammin. word up.

yo, champ. this blog is slammin'. word up.

the phrase “grown and sexy”

a term which is now just a three word euphemism for “drug dealers who launder their money through rim shops and the social services chicks and teachers who want to sleep with them”

grown women rocking pocket-less jeans

has officially replaced clear heels as the standard universal, “she’s probably a ho. nttawwt” uniform

soft chicken wings

there’s nothing more itch-inducing than ordering a dozen cajun chicken wings, but getting a dozen pieces of slippery meat with skin that looks like it came from the bedridden pedophile in seven.

coffee shops that don’t offer free wi-fi

every time i enter one i’m tempted to call up the manager and ask “they still make you?” like i’m chris rock

the “i can make your p*ssy whistle” line in drake’s, “best i ever had”

while i admittedly don’t mind drake as much as my vsb partner does, since when is a whistling p*ssy what’s torrid on the thoroughfare?

seriously, am i missing something here? what woman wants a stepin fetchit-ass p*ssy, and what guy would brag about giving a woman something that sounds like the premise from an episode of “tales of the crypt”?

the fact that i have great mobile internet service everywhere except my own f*cking apartment

i don’t know whats more itch worthy, the fact that i live in the only 900 square foot part of “the most connected community in pittsburgh” without good service, or the fact that i live in a 900 square foot apartment

not being able to grow a beard like black thought

***simultaneously filed under “some bullsh*t” and “things champ has said that are at least 84 percent gay”***

that’s enough therapy for me. people of vsb.com, what bullsh*t is making you itch right now?

—the champ

Great Expectations: Analysis & Debate on Drake's "Best I Ever Had" Video

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0drakebuzzThe most difficult position to be in for any artist is for everybody to be paying attention to what you’re doing.  In the hip-hop/R&B/Black music community, right now, Drake is that dude.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I do not understand dude’s buzz.  He’s a good rapper/singer combo guard, but I’m just not wowed.  However, I have to come to homey’s defense right now since it seems like everybody and their mama is upset at young Drizzy for his video for “Best I Ever Had”. Continue reading →

Smiley Face: 10 reasons why women love Drake

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And you know what they say: B*tches love the smiley face.

(If you’re unfamiliar with that particular line from Boondocks and think that Panama is just haphazardly calling women b*tches, well, go kill yourself. Thanks. – VSB Management)

When Drake tells us on “Best I Ever Had” that his buzz is so big he could probably sell a blank disc, well, he’s not lying. I’ve constantly stated that I don’t understand dude’s buzz – and I don’t – but I can’t deny that it exists. Dude’s got more buzz than Lil Kim at a wet bar.

With two Bullets.

Now, I’ll admit that Drake has talent. He’s a more than able wordsmith with clever-enough punchlines. But is that enough to really build a buzz this huge? Not really, especially when you consider how many WOMEN are loving this cat. Not to be to much of jackarse (and much props to the women on VSB who are hip-hop heads), but women don’t usually break most hip-hop artists. At least they don’t create their buzz, anyway. Women may well be indicative of how well they’ll do in the marketplace, but Drake doesn’t even have a tangible product out yet. All of his material is on the net. Even his much lauded mixtape, “So Far Gone” (download link) is a web-only product. Slap me silly and call me Susan, but I don’t think there’s a huge amount of women on Datpiff.com.

I could be wrong.

And he’s from Canada. Home of the floppy heads and beady little eyes.

And yet, b*tches people love Drake.

So this got me to thinking, what exactly is it about Drake that has the internets AND the women going nuts?

10 Reasons Why B*tches Women (and other people) Love The Smiley Face Drake

1. He’s lightskint. Let’s be real, women have been waiting since Al B. Sure Ginuwine for another musically talented lightbrite to come onto the scene and Drake fits the description. And this one doesn’t look like he’ll beat the brakes off of anybody. Women tend to only want darkskint men to beat them. Light dudes are great for hair tips.

2. He makes nice music for women. Even his ignoranter songs (i.e. “Every Girl”) are really deferential to women in a respectful way. His mixtape mostly sounds like R&B with sing-rapping (i.e. Lykke Li covers, etc), tailor-made for women. Sure he’s acting all cocky and talking about taking women home, but he also seems like he’ll take you home…to cook for you. What a nice chap.

3. He’s a singin’ a** rapper. The difference between him and Kanye is that Drake can actually hold a note, on his own, without Autotune, and women love guys that can serenade them, even if he’s singing, “you’re the f*cking best, you’re the f*cking best…” I’ve always thought that singing curse words was hot. Apparently women think so too.

So basically, 2+3 =

4. He sing-raps about women, a lot. Like on almost every song. The key to getting women interested in your music is to constantly make songs about women. Drake does this a lot. Quit the cocky little f*ck, actually, though even when he’s talking about h*es on “Successful” it sounds more like he means “big hug” than, ya know, h*es.

5. Though cocky, he comes off as a complete herb when he’s not on the mic. Because of this, women think he’s sincere and genuine and will probably sleep with him and will wear t-shirts that say “Drake’s Boo” on them, before he even has an album out. Motherf*cking amazing.

Continue reading →