Why Kanye Matters so Gotdamn Much

Posted on 1 September, 2010 by The Champ

Panama: so i know a lot of women who absolutely love kanye west and i can honestly say i dont get it. like i cant tell if they want to be with him? or if his swag is attractive to them or what…

kanye being an attractive human being is an oddity to me

Champ: i think they like what he produces and what he’s capable of producing more than anything else

the art more than the artist

i mean, i guess that explains why guys like paul mccartney and lyle lovett have had their pick of beautiful women

the idea of kanye matters more than he does

well, not more, but just as much

women love big ideas and potential more than they love us, lol

and kanye is a big f*cking idea

Panama: that is true

Champ: but yeah, you’re right. he’s a sex symbol who women don’t seem to want to have sex with

its weird. i’ve never believed any of the “kanye’s gay” rumors, but i have a hard time believing he was sleeping with amber rose, or anyone for that matter

Panama: good point

Champ: but, he’s also admitted to a porn addiction, and i’ve heard from a few sources that he’s not particularly shy about whipping it out in public, lol

Panama: apparently a lot of guys aren’t

i’ve had chicks tell me numerous times of dudes i know who they’ve been with on some one-on-one hang shit and dude will just pull his shit out

Champ: i knew a guy in college who’d hand women business cards with a pic of him holding his wang

i always wondered who took those pictures for him

Panama: lol

Midway through our latest podcast, I made a completely extemporaneous remark about Kanye West being one of the most important black people in the world; a statement so extemporaneous and unexpected you can hear the shock in my own voice when I said it. This surprise was largely based on the fact that I didn’t believe a single word of what I had just said.

But, because the verbal edit button–a device allowing you to delete reckless things you’ve said before anyone actually hears it–hasn’t been invented yet, I went full speed ahead, citing Kanye’s pandemic effect on our culture as proof of my statement’s truth. Surprisingly, the more I spoke, the more I realized this theory wasn’t that far fetched. Culture–the way we behave, how we interact, and what we believe–f*cking matters. And, regardless of how superficial you consider their particular contributions to be, our living and breathing cultural determinants–our Jay-Zs’, our Kardashians, our Beyonces–f*cking matter too.

Kanye, his brand of unabashed and simultaneously insecure self-confidence, and the art this volatile mixture created, has done more to spearhead this current era of hip-hop androgyny we live in than any other entity. Ironically, this makes him a bit of a throwback. His visceral emoting and occasional bouts of hyper-heterosexual aggression hearken back to the 80′s, when lascivious and sexually ambiguous performers such as Prince, Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, and Boy George ruled the airwaves. I’m not suggesting Kanye is in fact bi or homosexual, but his particular type of emotiveness is unlike any we’ve seen in hip-hop, and by osmosis he’s helped to pave the way to mainstream acceptance and embrace for (among other things) Drake, skinny jeans, Lady Gaga, Rhianna, blazers, Nicky Minaj, eyeglasses, B.O.B., blogging (yes. blogging), Lil Wayne, frohawks, and Twitter.

Despite all of this, I’ve always wondered what exactly it is about Kanye that allows him to wield such a cultural influence. How the hell does this tiny guy from the Chi have so much power? While his persona is (somewhat) original in a hip-hop context, the characteristics contributing to this persona are completely unoriginal. His critically lauded sample-heavy and soulful production is somewhat of a copy of music the RZA was making in 1995. While he’s definitely improving as a rapper, he’ll never be confused for a “natural” like a Nas or even a Scarface. And, by the time “The College Dropout” was released, the emotive eccentricity and eclecticism he’s known for had already been “done” (and, arguably, done better) by Andre 3000. He’s basically an HD compatible betamax.

The insane buzz over his two relatively underwhelming new singles (“Power” and “Hear Me Now”. Although, I have to admit I love “Hear Me Now” and the “Power” remix) have helped me figure it out: It’s not Kanye himself as much as it’s the idea of Kanye–and what we think he’s capable of–that matters so gotdamn much. This explains why each of his albums (even the sucky ones I eventually allowed to grow on me) are cultural landmarks even among those who love hip-hop but hate him and/or his music. This helps me understand how we’ve allowed a man who has made entire albums based around the idea that college is a sham and publicly admitted to not reading books (ha!) to be the de facto musical spokesperson for the young and college educated African-American. This even explains why (many) women are completely infatuated by him despite the fact that they probably wouldn’t sleep with him if given the chance.

With Kanye, it’s not so much about who he is or what he’s accomplished as much as it’s who we want him to be and what he just might do. While he has definitely produced, the power we’ve given him lies in the fact that his otherworldly range of personality makes him potential personified, and this makes him completely unstable and completely impervious to prediction—exactly like culture. He’s a living and breathing cultural cipher for our Id’s and expectations (whatever they might be), and he matters so gotdamn much because we need him to.

—The Champ

***By the way, If you haven’t done so yet, check out “The Black Blog Tea Party“, The Champ’s latest piece at Clutch Magazine***

The VSB Files–Episode 005: Montana Fishburne, Kanye West, & Intimidating Women

Posted on 24 August, 2010 by Very Smart Brothas

What’s up everybody!

We’ve decided to bless you with another episode of the VSB Files. Join Panama Jackson, The Champ and Liz as we talk a little bit about what’s on our minds. Some thangs we cover in this episode: Continue reading →

10 dating and relationship tips from drake

Posted on 25 June, 2010 by The Champ

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: drake wants the ladies to be careful. sparkle and r.kelly

the champ met with recording artist drake for brunch yesterday to discuss the budding megastar’s new album and upcoming tour. over mango and pheasant omelets and mimosas, the toronto native also talked about the obama effect, jamaal magloire, and how gay it was going to read when champ included the part about them eating mango and pheasant omelets together in this piece.

as they left brunch and walked to a nearby apple retailer to stand in line for the iphone4, drake brought up that he was a longtime fan of verysmartbrothas.com (“ya’ll dudes got soul for real. candy rain“), and offered a few dating and relationship tips for the vsb readers.

***before continuing, please be advised that drake has a bit of a, for lack of a better term, “unique” way of phrasing his points where he follows each sentence with an unrelated word that further articulates the main point of the last five or so words of the previous sentence . if this is too confusing to understand, that’s okay, because you shouldn’t be taking relationship advise from 24 year old canadians anyway***

1. “unless he puts a ring on it first, never let a dude beat it in the whip. chris brown”

2. “trust me, ladies: if you please your man in bed, he’ll stay locked down. kwame kilpatrick”.

3. “a man should always pay for at least the first three dates. if he doesn’t do this, cut him off and don’t look back. beltway drivers”

4. “meeting people and dating is hard work. but, once you get past that, relationships themselves should be super easy. delta chicks”

5. “a little first date nervousness is cool, but make sure to relax. have a drink if you need to. you don’t want to be all sweaty and smelly. pau gasol”

6. “be a man with a plan. nobody wants to be with a dude who can’t make up his mind. tyler perry”

7. “ladies, accentuate your assets. if you’re funny, tell jokes. if you’re cute but not that bright, smile and wear short skirts. sarah palin”

8. “ladies say they want the truth, but really they just want to hear what makes them feel good. honesty is cool sometimes, but for the best results just tell them want they want to hear. black churches”

9. “if he asks you how many people you’ve slept with, leave without a word or lie about the number. tony hayward”

10. “the worst gift to get a woman is flowers. you never want to buy her something that’s going to die soon anyway. my career.”

as they parted ways after leaving the apple store, drake offered one last piece of advice.

“always remember: hold on to your dream, but don’t let your dream hold on to you. christina milian.”

—the champ

Random Musings The Day After My Bornday

Posted on 4 June, 2010 by Panama Jackson

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After a week of hateration, holleration, and the eternal search for danceries, I’m wiped out. With that said, it’s Friday, I ain’t got no job (EXTEND UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS) and I ain’t got sh*t to do.

By the way, I’m totally lying about being unemployed. Sorry Ms. Jackson.

Anyway, because my brain isn’t working right now in a coherent fashion, I figured that I’d break down my mental and discuss a few things that have been on my mind for at least the last 15 minutes.

- I’d like to thank everybody who wished me birthday wishes yesterday. That was beautiful. If you knew what kind of month I was having, you’d know that my birthday wasn’t exactly something I was looking forward to celebrating. Hell, even the day started out rocky for me. If the way I brought in this year was any indication of how the year is going to go, well, I could be in a very f*cked up mood for a very long time. But all the well-wishes from people I don’t even know really made me feel better. And welcome to all those commenters who dropped their first comment on a birthday well-wish to lil ole VSB P the 3. If I knew you, I’d buy you all shots.

Lucky for me I don’t know most of y’all. But DC, we’re gonna get together real soon. Like real soon. But straight up, from the heart, I really appreciate all of the shoutouts.

-Drake’s debut album, Thank Me Later, leaked the other day. After all the leaks, I was pretty much done on this album. But after listening to it as a whole product, I get it. Drake made an album, not just a bunch of hot singles. If you’re looking for “Forever” or “Money To Blow” you will be disappointed. This whole album sounds like “Successful” meets “Unthinkable”. And it makes cohesive and perfect sense to me. Is it a classic album? Not at all, though it depends on your defiinition. People will be talking about this album for years. So he’s right, we all just might thank him later. Which we’ll have to do since most of us will be cursing his ass out for making us shell out our hard earned money to buy an album that sounds like one big ass tuba note from a guy that looks like a smiling Eeyore. Oh and by the way, listening to this album in my car made it sound THAT much doper. “Unforgettable”, “Show Me A Good Time”, “Light Up”, “Miss Me” are all tracks to look out for. Or you could just listen to successful on repeat 14 times and save yourself the trouble. Thank me later.

-I saw the movie Just Wright the other day. Good movie, but gotdamn was it predictable. We come down on Tyler Perry for his predictablility and inabilty to employ subtlety into his movies. This movie had NO subtlety whatsoever, but I enjoyed it just the same. You should go spend your money on this movie. Common did a good job doing nothing more than being a lightskint rapper from Chicago who just so happened to be playing a 5’6″ All-Star ball player who somehow is the best player in the league. But ya know, it’s always good to see the underdog get their man. Queen Latifah is definitely the underdog. She’s the kind of leading lady I’d never really want to sleep with. Anyway, Just Wright was a Tyler Perry movie with out Madea, bad writing, ridiculous plot twists (if they are even remotely possible at all), Kimberly Elise as a sexxy woman, or Tyler Perry as a straight man involved. But…it was enjoyable. Like yo mama.

-Lakers in 5.

- This is hands down my favorite commercial of at least the last 10 minutes. While I’d never buy a Kia, I do appreciate the hardwork these hamsters are putting into the game.

I know at least two people who remind me of hamsters anyway. I call them Shellack and Doowop Underroo. But Bob when we’re at work.

- Shoutouts to the homey The Champ who was at the Modern Day Matchmaker Event Live joint in New York City last night and is probably partying as this posts. He’s holding down the VSB brand. Hopefully the NYC contingent got to kick it with him. If not, you can just hop on Diddy’s Last Train to Paris.

-I’m still sexxy. And I always will be. So to that chick who wrote me that email calling me a self-centered d-bag who couldn’t bag a woman if I used Boris Kodjoe’s face….stop being mad that I CENSORED your mother. Thank you and good night.

Those are my random thoughts on a Friday, what you got?

And remember, sharing is caring people.

And yes Virgina, I had a drink.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka VITAMIN P aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Great Expectations, Pt. II: The Weight Is Almost Over

Posted on 20 April, 2010 by Panama Jackson

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A long time ago, I wrote about Drake and the lofty expectations that had been placed upon him by nearly everybody who listened to hip-hop because of his “single”. He managed to become one of the few rappers that women loved (even if erroneously) because of “Best I Ever Had” and his mixtape jacking artists like Lykke Li and and men respected by putting those songs softer songs along side songs with Bun B and Lil Wayne – “Uptown” is as dope a joint as you’re gonna get these days – to insanely successful results. Drake leapfrogged everybody as the next big thing and didn’t really disappoint. He became a standout on every song he was featured on, so much so that Lil Wayned quipped on “Money To Blow” that Cash Money/Young Money would be “alright if we put Drake on every hook”.

And now the wait is almost over. His album is scheduled for a June 15 release.

Yay.

And I couldn’t care less at this point. Sure I love the joint “Over” but I swear it would be better as a Lil Wayne song. It even SOUNDS like a Lil Wayne song with Drake rapping on it. The beat is insane as evidenced by damn near every rapper du jour jacking the beat for their own projects. If anything, Boi-1da is going to get A LOT of work because of that joint and working with Drake. (He’s reportedly doing beats for Eminem, Drake, Big Boi, etc.) But since “Over” dropped, I can count on one hand how many times I’ve heard it on the radio. And he’s had other alleged songs from the album hit the net like “Miss Me” and it’s aptly titled because he can pretty much miss me with that one. I heard a song with The-Dream that sounded underwhelming as all hell too. Granted, it’s only three songs but I’m already disappointed.

Re-read that last sentence. I’ll wait.

*rock smoke break*

Three songs and I’m feeling like Drake won’t live up to his hype. Which is unfortunate because you know when folks are doing well, the haters come out in full force. People have been waiting for Drake to fail since he got going. I actually hope he doesn’t and that the first three songs aren’t fully indicative of the possible mess of an album he has on his hands. So Far Gone worked as a mixtape because it was just that. He didn’t have anything to lose so you do what you feel. Albums are a different ball game. That’s your official stamp. That’s what folks are going to pay for. Great expectations are sometimes, but rarely met.

Then we have this other guy, B.o.B. aka Bobby Ray.

Have you heard of him?

I’d bet a majority of you haven’t. Yet he’s getting all the same features as Drake – Eminem, Lupe Fiasco, Bun B, etc – and making the best out of those connects. His first single, “Nothing on You” featuring Bruno Mars went platinum on iTunes and is a HUGE hit on pop radio and urban formats. About four of his songs have leaked and they all sound dope and different from what I’d expect…

…because I didn’t have any expectations. So I’m happy. I wasn’t anticipating B.o.B.’s album and so I’m good with what he’s putting out, because it’s good. Yet Drake is putting out music that might be the best song on other artist’s albums and I’m not feeling them. Better than the rest isn’t necessarily good; it’s just better.

If anything, it says a lot about where Drake is in the game at this point. The only other people having these problems are 50 Cent, Eminem, and Dr. Dre. And possibly Andre 3000. Lil Wayne seems like he doesn’t give a flying f*ck one way or the other.

While Drake will always manage to be lightskint and will curry favor for that reason alone with some people, I truly wonder if he’ll live up to the hype. He is probably the only artist save Eminem and Lil Wayne with an album that EVERYBODY, haters and lovers alike, will be checking for. I’m now more excited for B.o.B.’s The Adventures of Bobby Ray (April 27th) than Drake’s Thank Me Later (June 15), and it probably isn’t even fair. But B.o.B. is delivering.

So my question is this: can Drake even live up to the hype or does he have to deliver the 2010 version of Thriller? Or Confessions? Or Get Rich or Die Trying?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3