Tag Archives: death

Feeling Bad For Bobby, and More Thoughts About Whitney Houston’s Funeral

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1. There’s absolutely no rhyme or reason to the way I react when hearing about a person dying. None whatsoever. It’s completely unpredictable, completely arbitrary, and completely dependent on… whatever the hell it’s dependent on. I have absolutely no clue, and I’ve stopped trying to figure it out. There have been times when a one paragraph long news story about some random area murder induced tears and haunted me for weeks, and other times when family members have passed and the only time I got worked up was when I forced myself to get worked up because I felt bad that I hadn’t.

This “reaction unpredictability” extends to celebrities as well. I felt nothing when Michael Jackson — a person who I was a huge fan of — died, but the deaths of Amy Winehouse — a person I was “eh” about — and Patrice O’Neal still resonate with me. I still can’t listen to “Rehab” or watch “Elephant in The Room” without getting chills.

Knowing how unpredictable I can be about this should make me immune to surprise. I mean, If I’m capable of any reaction, there shouldn’t be a reaction that surprises me. Despite this, I was (and still am) surprised at how affected I was by the news of Whitney Houston’s death (When first clicking the TMZ link to the news of her death, I literally stared at my monitor with my mouth agape for two minutes and could see my heart beating through my shirt) and how interested I was in the goings-on (and the public’s feelings about the goings-on) of her funeral.

Although I wasn’t able to catch the first hour and a half or so (I started watching when Stevie Wonder was singing), I sat there captivated like I was watching the 4th quarter of game seven of the NBA finals. And, as if this captivation wasn’t enough, I logged on to Twitter and Facebook to basically give myself a sensory overload.

I don’t know what any of this means, or why I even felt the need to share it. I don’t know. I do know that it’s been (over) a week and I’m still surprised that I still don’t feel any different.

2. There have been myriad different accounts of the events that led to Bobby Brown leaving (or getting kicked out of) Whitney’s funeral, so I won’t go into any of them. I will say, though, that I feel worse for him than for anyone else who was in Whitney’s life. Losing your ex-wife (a woman I’m sure he still loved and may have still been in love with) is bad enough, but being the popular scapegoat for the decades-long spiral leading to her early death has to be a bitch of a burden to carry. History will not look kindly on him. Regardless of what he does for the rest of his life, his primary legacy will be that he, to put it bluntly, killed Whitney Houston.

Now, whether this legacy is actually fair is another question. We assume that Bobby was the bad influence, but while Whitney was America’s Sweetheart, she wasn’t exactly an angel herself. Also, as influential as Clive Davis was reported to be in her life, who’s to say that he didn’t have a hand in her downfall?

Obviously, this is all speculation. None of us know exactly what led to Whitney’s substance abuse problems. And, since none of us know, perhaps we should place a collective moratorium on “Blame Bobby.”

3. I happened to be at my parent’s house when the funeral was being aired. When R.Kelly came to the podium, all three of us said “Wait. Is that R.Kelly???” at the exact same time. No bullsh*t.

And (in my best Forrest Gump voice), “That’s all I’m going to say about that.”

4. I know many people had an issue with some of the “So, America, make sure you’re recording so you can see how these exotic-ass Negros celebrate the dead” -ey comments from some of the non-black members of the news media covering the event. In particular, Piers Morgan sounded like he was covering at an event at Jurassic Park.

I didn’t have a problem with this, though. I mean, aside from random Nike commercials and Tyler Perry movies (which white people don’t watch anyway), this probably was the first time many of them had seen a homegoing at a black baptist church, and I think most of the non-white reporters found the proper mix of reverence, respect, and curiosity.

Also, aside from the celebrities involved, Whitney’s ceremony wasn’t all that atypical. Seriously, if you substituted “random white co-worker who seems out of place but makes up for it with a poignant speech” for “Kevin Costner,” “aunt who does her thing on the organ even though she tends to forget words to certain songs” for “Stevie Wonder,” and “neighborhood family who no one wants to fight because there’s like 25737848 of those motherf*ckers and you know if you fight one, you’ll have to fight them all” for “The Winans,” this funeral was probably exactly like any other baptist funeral any one reading this has ever been to.

5. I’m not sure if the fact that I simultaneously ”experienced” the funeral with over a thousand others on Twitter — all with their own running commentary about the event — was a good or a bad thing. Actually, I’m pretty certain it’s neither. It’s not disrespectful or distant or progressive or indicative of anything, either. It just is. That’s just the way we deal with things today. While other generations had their own forms of collective consumption, we just do it in real time.

6. So, ever since a certain post I wrote a few weeks ago, I’ve been more willing to let certain people take a look at articles I write before I submit them, just in case they pick up on something that I may have missed. Don’t fret. You’re not going to get a neutered Champ or anything. This is something I’ve always done. Just do it a little more often now.

Anyway, last Friday, I let one of these friends see an article I wrote for Ebony about Chris Brown. That article contained a somewhat off-color joke about Tyler Perry. Her response:

“I dont usually discourage Tyler Perry jabs, but this m**therf**er just flew Whitney Houston’s body to her family in his private jet. HE ALWAYS DOES THIS SH*T. Like, whenever I want to take a shot at him, he adopts some orphan or saves a kitten or some sh*t and makes me feel bad afterwards. Anyway, you should probably leave that out.”

I (reluctantly) listened.

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”) 

***Oh, check out the Chris Brown piece I just referenced — “The (Biggest) Problem with Chris Brown isn’t Chris Brown” — if you get a chance. (#teambreezy, beware)***

Also, don’t forget about the VSB/Urban Cusp discussion on Black Identity & Culture in Mass Media panel coming up on Wednesday, February 22, 2012 from 6-8PM at the Washington Post Buildling. It’s going to be a dope conversation, I promise. Plus you can hang with Panama Jackson and throw things at people. It’s free and food will be provided. Not like half chickens or nothing, but finger foods and whatnot. See you there. Peep the flyer below.

And I Will Always Love Whitney.

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August 9, 1963 - February 11, 2012. Gone too soon.

Whitney Houston is gone.

I don’t even know how else to start this off. The news that Whitney Houston died at the young age of 48 (!!!!!!) caught me so off guard that when the first person called to tell me, I responded so non-chalantly that I caught myself by surprise. I was just like, “that’s sad.”

It wasn’t because it didn’t matter. It’s because it just didn’t seem real at all. Not Whitney. Micheal? Yeah. We were all saddened and moved but it wasn’t a total surprise to anybody. Whitney was also on some sort of that stuff – and quite famously – and yet it just didn’t seem like she’d pass…so soon (again…48!!!!). We still don’t know what happened but no illegal drugs were found in the room and there were no signs of foul play. It was just…her time.

(Early reports suggest that she may have drowned. That is tragic beyond belief if its true. EDIT: 10AM – Turns out she didn’t drown, but a lethal mix of prescription drugs and alcohol might have killed her long before she had time to drown. There wasn’t enough water in her lungs to suggest she drowned.)

And that’s hard to deal with. I’ve come to grips with the fact that I have no power of when my time on this planet will end. It’s bigger than I am. But the death of larger than life people like Whitney Houston still seems surreal and doesn’t make sense to me. I always felt like she had another comeback in her. Her voice, while not what it used to be, was still leagues better than 98 percent of the population.

That voice. My God. There have been a few people who I’ve felt were given a truly God given gift and Whitney was one of them. Her voice was so strong, so pure, and so beautiful that her heyday was nearly 25 years ago and we are STILL attached to those very songs. Just like Michael. While nobody will ever touch what Michael Jackson did, Whitney was as pretty high up on the short of list of individuals who held that type of superstardom purely for their talents.

I’m a grown ass man and I still sing along to “I’m Every Woman”. And who HASN’T screwed up “Greatest Love of All” at karaoke or in their car. And think, that song is immortal ANYWAY because of Coming To America. And yes, “How Will I Know” if he really loves me. I don’t know…So many songs. So many great moments. And no, my name is not Susan, which could be why people never watch what they say. I really think I could write an entire post based on her songs.

I think, much like Michael, the true test of what Whitney Houston meant to America, and particularly Black America is how much of our experiences she’s tied to. If you grew up in the 80s then Whitney was absolutely apart of your life. I remember the long ass road trips with my Black man from Alabama ass father blasting the I’m Your Baby Tonight album. My father used to ask my mother to put Whitney Houston (and later Mariah Carey) under the Christmas tree for him every year. Every. Year. My daddy wasn’t sh*t.

And don’t even get me started on the Waiting To Exhale soundtrack. I still bump that (real talk). There’s an odd connection we all feel in the Black community (and maybe white artists do too) to our artists, especially the larger than life ones. Maybe it’s because music is the one escape most of us have in a life filled with so much struggle. Artists like Whitney blew the lid off what we could achieve and what was expected and even though she sang pop music, she sang it in a way that wasn’t selling out. You can’t fake a voice like that and there’s no way to sell out with an instrument like that.

Whitney Houston was family. Hell, she still is family. She’s so much family that many of us are ACTUALLY really concerned about Bobbi Kristina…and Bobby Brown. And I’m not even sure Whitney liked him anymore. But this is what happens when family passes. And there’s a certain sadness that will persist for a while. She was an icon. She was a legend. And its hard to believe that she’s gone. But she’s one of those that will live forever. She has no choice. She made too much of an impact while she was here. There are very few artists today who aren’t influenced by her.

Plus, she has one of the most iconic “big leagues” of all time in her remake of “I Will Always Love You”. It’s a perfect rendition. With a perfect voice.

And yes, the Whitney tribute was short. And yes, we all wanted more. Did Whitney get shortchanged? Possibly.

But that’s second to the fact that the voice is gone.

I’m all over the place here, so I’ll just end this here:

Whitney, I wish to you joy, and happiness…but above all this, I wish you love.

We love you. And miss you. RIP.

-VSB P

Troy Davis, Reasonable Doubt and the Lack of Justice

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RIP Troy Davis. September 21, 2011 - 1108PM

God bless the dead.

There’s a certain perverse curiousity about the last minutes of a person’s life. I’ve had the misfortune of personally witnessing the last moments of somebody’s life and since that time I’ve often recounted those final hours, minutes, and seconds over and over again.

As of the beginning of this writing, Troy Anthony Davis, is counting down the final minutes of his life. By the time I’m finished, he’ll be dead. And I find myself imaging what that’s like. I can’t help it. Knowing your end is near and knowing the exact time you will move on is a punishment no person should know. Especially this person because based on every recount and recollection of this case, there is absolutely no reason that this man’s life should be history.

None.

It sickens me. It saddens me. I recognize that when a situation touches you that you’re more likely to think irrationally. But because of this case, I’m completely opposed to the death penalty. Since the Innocence Project has come to fruition and proven how many people were falsely convicted (273) I have come to not only not believe in the justice system, I’m downright afraid of it. I’ve always thought that it didn’t have my best interests in mind for racial reasons. But at this point, Troy Davis’s case proves that no matter what evidence you do or don’t have, once somebody decides you are guilty, well you’re guilty.

The State of Georgia decided that this man was supposed to die for a crime for which his guilt was in complete question, even though people from the prison system and politicians who support the death penalty in the state have asked for clemency.

I feel sick. I’ve shed a tear behind this man I don’t know and it’s because of just how unfair it seems. Every person behind bars isn’t innocent. And I have no idea if Troy Davis is either. But as the twitter hashtags and signs and slogans have indicated, there’s too much doubt about this guilt. Try the man again. Let him stay in jail…alive, while we take another crack at it. But to actually kill somebody, especially in this circumstance is not what even the most rightwing, death penalty advocate would want. Nobody ever wants to kill the wrong person for justice.

I don’t know how much information the individuals who have to administer the lethal injection have about the case or how they feel but I truly feel sorry for any prison staffer who has to partake in this execution.

And to be fair, let me say I truly feel for the family of the slain police officer. At the end of the day, they lost a father who was really doing nothing more than being a good guy and doing his job while he was off duty. A crime was committed and the responsible person should be paying the price. I sympathize with their plight because the entire case has flipped into not being about the slain officer. But if potentially killing the wrong man is more important than getting actual justice then we’re all worse off. Including the family of the slain officer. Ironic since the police officer’s job was to seek justice.

1108pm. The moment when every statement about our country’s belief in truth, justice, and the American way was proven to be bullshit.

The thing is, as a Black man I never believed in it anyway. And yet I’m still disappointed. I still WANT to believe that all the evidence in the world would keep me alive. What I hope more is that the memory of Troy Davis causes people to continue to care and make some sort of difference. In fact, what concerns me most is that our general short memory doesn’t make this week the last time we hear about Troy Davis. We tend to care while something seems to matter and then its on to the next thing. But this case is bigger than Troy Davis which I think was evidenced by the huge amount of attention this case drew. I hope somehow it stays that way, though my optimism has short legs.

God bless the dead.

RIP Troy Davis.

RIP justice…again.

How a man can be killed even though nobody is positive he did it, I’ll never know. But I’m also not that flawed. I hope this is a wake up call to somebody. I hope.

What are your thoughts? Please, share it all.

-PANAMA JACKSON

Osama Gone.

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I'm dead.

I had intended to write a whole other post and then I happened to look at Twitter. And all of a sudden I see ninjas talking about Osama Bin Laden being dead.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

I stopped EVERYTHING I was doing and immediately turned to CNN and here goes Wolf Blitzer (I swear, if ANYTHING goes down Wolf is involved) and some other white guy I know but can’t name talking about the death of Osama Bin Laden.

It’s an oddly weird feeling to hear this news. It’s been nearly 10 years since 9/11. At this point Bin Laden was just one of those names that’s become part of the American consciousness. For a long time his name caused venom but over time, and much like anything else, he just kind of became part of the culture. Apple pie. New Yorkers. Osama Bin Laden. I think for most of us, we kind of assumed he’s either been dead or quit life altogether and just holed up in some cave somewhere.

It’s kind of like the terror warnings and levels. They mean nothing at this point. They just exist somewhere out there but most of us keep going on about our lives. To some degree it even seems like al-Qaeda had taken a break as they definitely hit a terrorist lull (I’m fully aware that many terrorists acts have occurred around the world and continue to to do so with fervor, but al-Qaeda hasn’t seemed as active) which is either a testament to our foreign ops or a reminder that some of these cats are REALLY trying to take their time planning more attacks. I don’t know, and I think that’s the point. You just never know.

But if its true, the world just took an interesting turn. First and foremost, Obama just got his trump card. Pun intended.

But more importantly, my guess is that Bin Laden just became more of a martyr than he’s already been. And I can’t imagine what kind of retaliations might happen to our troops and any Americans abroad. I’m actually worried about this. The Taliban will either go the short game, immediate action and reaction and death to infidels route or pretend its not true and make sure they hit the airwaves to say that America is lying.

I’m wondering what affect this will have on the world. More suicide bombings? Forgive my lack of focus and clarity but this is just some odd news. It’s world news and world history. It’s a significant part of the fabric of American society. 9/11 has significantly impacted the lives of everybody in the world.

It means something.

And I think it will from here too. If terrorists didn’t have motivation to go out and do commit more intense crimes, they have it now. I feel like the CIA is about to be on their highest alert ever. And we kind of need them to be. Who knows whats about to go down?

Now that we got all of that out of the way….on a slightly more ignant note…I kind of wonder if Obama is giving folks the pound or dappin’ ninjas behind the scenes? Obama is about to be on his Mr. Big D*ck game for a while now. In fact, if I was him, I’d go straight to the GOP and be like, “yo, whatever I want for the next two years,  you all might as well make it happen. I got Bin Laden. Did you? No. You didn’t. So what if I didn’t do it myself. I proved I’m American, b*tched Trump in front of  him AND snagged the world’s public enemy #1 within the span of 4 days. Get like me. They’re about to rename the “dougie” the “obamie”. Oh, and I am about to require American’s to learn the Electric Slide. What?!!! Balance the budget b*tch.”

Sorry. I just had a ninja moment.

Enough.

So, what’s your perspective on all of this?

Oh, and how much you want to bet Osama died with a “Stop Snitching” tshirt on?

Shake something.

By the way, I love how Obama said, “I did this. Me, n***a. I George Bushed da button. What?!”

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka OBAMA IS MY COUSIN aka OSAMA GONE, THAT NINJA DEAD aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE GOT OSAMA

Havin’ Hard Times: Best Jobs To Get When Times Are Tough

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I came across this fascinating, yet seemingly hyperbolic, article in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution about difficult economic times are increasing the number of women trying to get on the pole. And people say the recession is a problem; anything that puts more women on a pole is alright with me. While I think that some of the financial “facts” are indeed debatable, the fact is, strippers get that dough – especially in Atlanta. In fact, in Black America when people think stripping they think Atlanta. Gentlemen, guard your daughters. If she really wants to move to Atlanta but has yet to apply to Spelman, I hate to tell you but she’s gonna be making it clap more than 40 Negroes at a houseparty when Soho Earth People’s “Hot Music” comes on.

Hot muuuuuuuusic. (Anybody else notice that this song always sounds better when followed up by Aly-Us’s “Follow Me”?)

Here’s a snippet of the economics in the article:

The strip club economy

Clubs: U.S.: 3,829

Metro Atlanta: 19

Economic impact: U.S. $15 billion

Metro Atlanta: $240 million-plus

Employment: U.S.: 500,000

Estimated annual earnings of Atlanta dancers: $20 million

Anybody else surprised that there are only 19 strip clubs in metro Atlanta? Me too. But if true, damn that’s good money.

Well this got me to thinking. People often joke that when times get tough, women should start stripping. Truth is….that’s true. There are so many upsides and really the only downside is that whole self-esteem, sense of self-worth bull malarkey. Face it, pride and options are for rich and beautiful people. If you were either, you wouldn’t be thinking about stripping, now would you?

Oh, the upsides: cash business (avoid some of those pesky taxes through self-reporting), you get to meet really nice people who really care about you, you get to stay up on the newest music, and the coup de grace, you get to TOTALLY be a dancer as your profession! Take that Alvin Ailey.

As if.

While I’d totally suggest to any woman out there to hit the pole when times get tough, there are other job options when times get tough, and there not all just for women. Men are feeling the brunt of the storm too. Right now, it really is hard out here for a pimp. Which brings me to number one.

1) Prostitute

Most women claim to love sex anyway, might as well get paid for it. And not with fancy dinners to Olive Garden, either. Of course, you might have to pay a cut to some guy with a perm, a pinky ring, and really long fingernails, but every job has its issues. Though I can’t lie, having a boss named Sweet Curly Gloom Hand Jones might make me rethink that whole hoin’ thing. Luckily, I got one hangin’ and two swangin’.

2) Customer Service Representative

Preferably for Verizon or some other such f*ckery of a company. While I realize that most people loathe customer service, there is no better job security right now. With nearly everything going digital, people are prone to have issues. There’s ALWAYS a job available because in effect, people don’t know how to properly plug sh*t in. Of course, you’ll have to move to India or Kazakhstan and name yourself “Bobby” or “Mary” but whatever, it’s for the kids.

3) Funeral Home employee or director

When times get tough, people start kickin’ off faster than three Brazilians with a ball and an open field. Much like taxes, death is the only other guarantee in life. Even crappy funeral homes get business because wheredeydodatat? Crappy parts of town. Of course, the “I see dead people” joke probably gets old 2 seconds after you start working there but you get to totally lay in caskets and pretend to be a vampire. Rar.

4) Bartender

This one is surprising because people tend to drink less, well, less expensively during an economic downtime, however, if you’re the bartender and your life is sucking, you’ve got all the liquor you need at your own disposal to drink away the pain. You might get fired for drinking on the job, but hell, you could always go strip.

5) Pedi – cab operator in NYC

If you live in Boise this is probably not an option, but these cats ALWAYS have customers. It’s probably because there are a lot of sadists out there who get some kind of sick pleasure out of making some guy work his heart out for 10 bucks and 2 blocks. Of course, if you do take this kind of job you’re probably a bit masochistic anyway so its a perfect match since S & M go together like Rihanna and eye jammies.

Those are a few suggestions. Good workers of VSB, have you any occupational suggestions for our economically strapped community members?

Put it on the glass.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3