Ask A Very Smart Brotha: We Just Found Out He Has Newborn Twins, Should I Try To Work It Out?

Jazmine: I just found out that the person that I’ve been wanting to start a relationship with has NEWBORN TWINS! He claims that he didn’t even know and that the female lied and said she was pregnant by someone else. He wants to have a sit down and air it all out but my past relationships leave me hard to trust/believe him. Should I give him the opportunity to plead his case? He claims he loves me just as much as I love him but I’m guarding my heart with an iron fist. Suggestions???

DY: Your man’s name isn’t Tom Brady, is it? Anyway, it is possible that he was unaware of this situation until recently. In fact, I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Still, you both need to take a big step back from this relationship—him because he needs to figure out how to feed two mouths, and you because nothing about “my new man has twin newborns by a different woman” is hot in the streets.

I mean, if the roles were reversed and you were knocked up with twins and didn’t know who the dad was, do you think he would stay?

Erica: I just got into a discussion about what marriage is suppose to mean and I want a guy’s take on it. I say: Love is not unconditional and that everyone has dealbreakers in which they will leave a relationship or marriage. Including weight gain. Others say: If you’re married, then the only dealbreaker should be don’t cheat and don’t abuse me.
What say you?

DY: I say the best relationships/marriages are when you find someone whose dealbreakers match yours.

Denise: At what age do men grow up ?

DY: The age we realize “continuing not to grow up” means “dammit, the pool of women available to me will continue to shrink until I grow up.” Some of us make that transition, and some don’t because their pool never shrinks and there’s no incentive to make the change.

Nicole: I am in school for my PhD., should settle for someone that does have the same education level that I have or do you think I should keep my options open. Last guy I was with worked in a grocery store and that didn’t work.

DY: Keep your options open, and date whoever makes you happy. Just because someone might not have been the ideal in your head doesn’t mean you’re “settling.” The only way you can settle is if you choose someone who doesn’t make you happy. Also, just because you don’t find someone else with a Ph.D doesn’t mean you have to date supermarket stockboys. There are in betweens, you know?

Read more at Madame Noire