Tag Archives: dark skinned

The Black People’s Color Spectrum To End All Color Spectrums

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***A version of this entry was originally posted three years ago, but an argument I had with a friend who swears she’s not light-skinned prompted me to repost***

Despite our preoccupation with color, skin tone, and shade, our definitions of exactly what makes someone light or dark-skinned remain somewhat arbitrary, and completely confusing.

Don’t believe me?

Ask 20 black people tomorrow to name a light-skinned black celebrity, and your answers will run the gamut from Tracie Ellis Ross to Jay-Z, two people who resemble even-toed ungulates more than they do each other.

As long as our definitions remain so variable, we’ll continue to have 60 year old black men (ie: my dad) who need to be told by their wives and sons that they’re not the same complexion as Courtney B. Vance.

Today, I’ve decided to put an end to this confusion with the VSB Spectrum, an all-encompassing and omniscient ledger letting us all know exactly where we all stand, once and for all.

***Pics added for clarity***

Albino

mcx0707beskin004-med

Passing

jennifer-beals-picture-4

Tragically passing

mariah-carey-new

LIGHT-SKINNED

mike_bibby-arton20868-240x240
***I’ve found that hair and features determine a huge role in the perception of where a person should be placed in this part of the list. For instance, if you look at their pics side-by-side, Keyshia Cole is at least a shade lighter than Beyonce. Yet, most people probably assume the thundergoat is lighter because of her weave hair and creole
hybrid features.***

lisa

LIGHT BROWN-SKINNED

Obama 2008

***This is where the paper-bag test officially ends. This also represents the end of light-skinned points, and light-skinned guilt (where light-skinned people get so self-conscious about their lack of melanin that they try extra hard to be extra black. I call this the Micheal Eric Dyson Corollary)***

Lloyd Banks

Caramel

***Although this word isn’t gender-specific in theory, a straight man usually shouldn’t be described as caramel. ***

 

eve

BROWN-SKINNED

Pauley Pavilion

***The easiest place on the list, brown-skinned bastards can live their entire life without the hyper color-consciousness plaguing the rest of the spectrum. They can date whoever they want without being labeled as colorstruck or an overcompensator, and they are typically free of the color-centric insults (high-yellow b*tch, african booty scracther, etc) thrown towards other ends of the spectrum. If it sounds like i’m hating, good. Mission accomplished.***

angela-bassett_l

DARK BROWN-SKINNED

red-cares-lebron-james-400a120706

***This is the point where it’s officially taboo for a black person to openly profess a preference for a person with lighter skin. Also, there are more black professional athletes with this complexion than any other shade. I’m sure there’s a connection there somehow***

Chocolate

dwayne_wade

kenya

***A friend of mine said that while a typical light-skinned chick is better looking than a typical dark-skinned chick, a banging dark skinned chick is better looking than a banging light-skinned chick. He’s currently in prison, btw. I have no point here. I just felt like sharing***

DARK-SKINNED

kg

anthony_morrow_70700827856

***Its funny how the word “black” by itself has a negative connotation. For instance, my dad said that as a youngster, prefacing any insult with “black” (ie, “you black bastard” ) was grounds for an ass-whooping. According to my dad, it also snowed 5 inches everyday back then, so I’ve learned to take everything he says with a grain of salt***

8-rock

alek-wek

So there you have it. People of VSB, get in where you fit in. Where do you fit on the spectrum?

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

Obamanation

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they’re baaaaaack

although he’s the consensus best ball player of all-time, a global icon, and the worst front-office executive in the history of the nba, you can argue that michael jordan’s most resonate impact in the black community has to do with the fact that he, more than any other one person, brought dark-skinned black men “back in style.”

you see, before mj became popular, black america was mired in a hilarious rut where male light-skinned points were freely and indiscriminately passed around like a paper football or luvvie’s panties, regardless of how awkwardly maned or aesthetically unfortunate (read: “richie, lionel”) the person happened to be.

a young champ even felt the effects of this, having once been deemed “too dark and crispy” in 4th grade by the object of the young champ’s affection, passed by and discarded for a 10 year old doppleganger of kid from kid n play. to this day, the champ refuses to watch “house party”.

jordan’s ascension in the late 80′s started a wave of darker-skinned black male affirmative attractiveness action, allowing men such as wesley snipes, kadeem hardison, and the notorious b.i.g. to be deemed sex symbols. this phenomenon has continued today, a dynamic which has also made it cool for women openly question the perceived “manhood” or “blackness” of our lighter-skinned brethren.

with the leader of the free world being a paper-bag test passing brotha with weed lips the color of the sacramento kings (purple and gray), its safe to say that the balance of p*ssy procuring power has shifted (damnit!!). the al b. sure’s and el debarge’s of the world will be back with a vengeance, infesting nightclubs and happy hours across the country in their s-curled and baby haired glory. the light skinned brotha is officially back in style.

i have a few more but, people of vsb.com, what say you? what changes (if any) do you think an obama presidency will bring to our courting/dating/boning dynamic?

-the champ