pants on fire: 7 things we (men) like much more than you think we do…even though we’ll never admit it

men_in_black_movie_image_tommy_lee_jones_and_will_smith

as you’re all very aware of, the very smart brothas of verysmartbrothas.com (as well as liz’s boobs) are committed to fighting crime by utilizing means such as communication enhancement, relationship metacognition, intensive hoodrat reeducation and ho saving to achieve our goals.

subsequently, you’re all probably unaware of the fact that panama and i risk our lives to provide this service, because divulging the type of information we do greatly upsets many people, especially those with neck tats and vowel-less last names

as another example of how committed we are to do and say things you won’t find anywhere else, heres seven things we (men) like much more than you think we do…even though we’ll never, ever publicly admit it Continue reading

four reasons why they never should have given you n*ggas internet access

emeagwali-science-museum-of-minnesota-saint-paul-june-1996

while african-americans are definitely the most influential people on the planet, i can’t exactly say that everything we’ve brought to the table has been a good thing. this is particularly true when it comes to the internet, where for every okayplayer and blackvoices, there’s a couple mediatakeout’s lurking in the weeds, luring small children and stupid adults.

today, as a part of the verysmartbrothas crime-fighting ideals (and a shout-out to the champ’s second favorite television show ever), we’ve decided to bless the vsb pulpit with four reasons why they never should have given you n*ggas internet access. Continue reading

nevermind: five surefire ways to scare her away

lock-vagina

30 seconds.

apparently this is all the time it takes for a woman to decide whether a guy is eventual jungle monkey gotdamn material or not. thing is, between that first interaction and the first bottled water third frozen cosmo 37 minutes after you met for the first time on the fourth date, there remains a vast number of ways to salt your own game and eventually eliminate yourself quicker than george sodini. Continue reading

lemme downgrade ya: two (probable) reasons why steve mcnair stepped out

steve-mcnair-sahel-kazemi-pictures

from his brazen infidelity to his choosing of someone extremely younger, poorer, less educated, and whiter, steve mcnair’s death at the hands of his mistress sahel kazemi and her subsequent suicide is a virtual petri dish of black relationship sore spots.

yet, after a weeks worth of conversation with different women, the single most recurring question about this situation has been less why did he cheat? and more why the hell would he downgrade?? Continue reading