**UPDATE: If you are interested in attending the Election Night Watch Party with VSB, Urban Cusp, IMPACT, and The Root DC, please RSVP as we opened it up to a few more individuals.**
This isn’t about double standards…thought it clearly is one.
This isn’t about cognitive dissonance…though the dissonance is clearly cognitive.
(Sidenote: I’d never heard the term “cognitive dissonance” until I saw Champ use it here at some point, noticing that along with “narrative” it had become one of his favorite terms. I had to look it up every single time I saw it, getting to the point where I had to attempt to create scenarios where the term fit in order to understand the idea. I’m not proud of this and am much smarter than those words illustrate, but I thought I’d share anyway. Thank you.)
I’m one of those chaps with good friends, especially my boys. Everything I do, I do it for my crew ya know. It’s all strictly for my N.I.*.*.A.Z., ya dig? For the most part, if the women I’m dating meet my boys, pretty shortly afterwards they mention how cool my friends are and how much they can tell that I have real friends. If we make it to real dating status and all that jazz, there’s a very good chance that my ladyfriends will come to love hanging out with my hombres and likely come to call them friends as well.
In fact, upon breaking up with an ex some many years ago, she SPECIFICALLY said that while she understood that we were breaking up, she had to be able to still be friends with one of my boys…she patently refused to give up that friendship. We are all still friends to this day. This happened.
Not only has this phenomenon NOT happened in reverse for me – not that I never think that the women I date have good friends or cool friends or anything, of course they are – I can’t see it ever happening to any man. In fact, I tend to keep my lady friends friends are arm’s lengths. Why?
Women don’t trust anybody.
Yet somehow, women, specifically the ones I’ve dated, have seen nothing wrong at all with getting the phone numbers of my boys and/or going out to eat lunch with them, etc. Of course, I know about it all – none of this is suspicious or a surprise. But I can’t even imagine finding a good reason to get the phone number of one of my girlfriends friends. Actually, that’s not true. There’s always the “here, take Such-n-Such’s number because my phone is about to die” situation that arises, but even then I never think to actually use the number outside of the intended or specific purpose.
But I don’t think that most women would see anything wrong, suspicious, or even remotely odd about keeping in touch with their boyfriend’s homeboys – as long as the friend is a REAL friend. Or maybe I’m just lying to myself and I’ve got the most trustworthy group of friends on the planet (possible).
Picture me rollin…
I asked other women about this because I was curious and while none of them said that they are like friends-friends (you know when you repeat the words twice, it’s like really real) almost 90 percent of them DID have the phone number of one or more of their man’s friends. The same did not hold for the opposite unless they were established friends from way back. So basically, new guy and gal start dating, it’s highly likely that if some sh*t goes down, gal will have guy’s boys number to call to help guy get right.
The opposite? Sheiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Guy better hit up Twitter – which, no bullsh*t, is just as good as text messaging nowadays. Maybe not “just as” but if its definitely 1B.
Anyway, good folks of VSB, can somebody explain this phenomenon to me? Does this all come down to women’s lack of trusting any other woman on the planet but trusting themselves so its okay? Fellas, do you have your girlfriend’s friends info and use it with any frequency whatsoever? Ladies, do you (or would you) all have your boyfriend’s friends’ information and use it?
Holla if ya hear me. Inquiring minds would like to know.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. I’LL JUST TWEET YOU aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
FOR THE DMV VSBers: Tomorrow night, ELECTION NIGHT 2012, November 6, 2012, VSB along with Urban Cusp, IMPACT, The Root DC, and WPGC will be hosting an Watch Party event at the Washington Post. The RSVPs are sold out at this point but check back over the course of the day to see if we open the floor to more individuals as we will be shunnin’ ninjas at the door. Anyway, peep the flyer, just sharing for now. If you already RSVP’d, we can’t wait to celebrate (hopeful) victory!