Tag Archives: christina milian

More No Sh*t Sherlock PSAs from VSB: Why Hot Chicks Get Cheated On – The Christina Milian Edition

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shawty rock to the beat for your booooy

By now it’s common knowledge that The-Dream and Christina Milian are headed towards splitsville. And why? Because Tubby Terius was caught out there cheating on Mrs. Dip It Low. And frankly, that is just baffling.

Except it isn’t. But I’ll get back to that.

I’d like to mention here how much of a crush I’ve had on Christina Milian for years. Everybody who knows me knows that I love her with the passion of Mel Gibson’s racist rants. When I found out she was engaged to The-Dream, a little piece of me died. Of course I then remembered that not only did I not know her but I also never had a chance with her. Womp womp. But another piece of me felt victorious. You see, Dream is a pretty fugly little rodent. If I’m a 3 he has to be lower than that, millions and celebrity aside, so it gave me hope. My point here is that Christina Milian is like my celeb crush numero uno. Just thought you might like to know that.

So it’s established that she’s hot AND had his baby and he still stepped out on her. Which is pretty interesting if you think about it. Why? Well, most men claim to REALLY want a fine ass woman to marry and date. So it stands to reason if that’s our goal that we’d be happy right?

Wrong. Unfortunately the novelty always wears off. Sure you know that you’re woman is beautiful, but at some point her beauty becomes more important to other people than it does to her man. Which sucks monkey nuts. Bubbles.

And yes, I realize how much that last paragraph f*cking sucked for women. However, it goes both ways. LL.

Here’s the thing, just like finding out that Lauren London got knocked up by Lil Wayne astounded us, hearing that The-Dream cheated on Christina Milian should have, but it didn’t. It seemed to almost make sense. And here’s why. Since so many of our VSS are indeed hot tamales, I felt like maybe you all could help enlighten. Here are the reasons I came up with:

1) Fame and celebrity really do put men in a position of power. Women like that. The-Dream is empirical proof.

Terius is not a hot dude. Period. Without his songs, money, and fame, very few women with esteem would be on his nuts. He’s from Atlanta so he’d pull more than the average, but still. Idris he ain’t. He’s living proof that if you add money and celebrity to anybody, they can go from being Steve Urkel with talent to Stephon Urquell and bone whoever you want. Enter Christina. So he’s got some power now and women are drawn to him so his pool of top shelf bangable women grows. He forgets he’s got a top shelf chick at home and deduces its worth it. Terrible.

2) Beauty only goes so far.

This is a lesson a lot of women could stand to learn. Being hot, while paramount to most men’s interest in you, only gets you into the game. Being smart and everything else keeps you on the court. I don’t know Christina Milian. But I do know they got married pretty quickly. Maybe neither of them explored that they just had nothing in common. He makes pop gold. She doesn’t. Maybe to him she was just hot and he realized it later. Doesn’t make it any less ridiculous. He’s still a douche. But maybe Christina brings nothing else to the table. I refuse to believe that. My baby is perfect in every way.

3) Men really do just suck.

While I don’t believe this one for two hangin, one swangin reasons, maybe Terius was just never a good dude in the first place and he married her despite planning on cheating…with his assistant. I’m guessing he was going to cheat on her anyway. I mean did you see the tails he got married in? He looked like a gay fairy standing next to a beautious queen. He never recognized that she was indeed a come up for him because he overstated his own self-worth. Unfortunatley, because of money and power, he wasn’t wrong. The ugliest man with a million dollars looks a lot better than an average looking brother with $1,000 to his name. Bet that.

4) She’s crazy

Never underestimate how unattractive crazy makes you. Never.

I wish I could say that Terius had no business cheating (he doesn’t in the marriage sense – but I mean in the practical application sense), but the truth is, even Beyonce could get cheated on. Hell, Halle Berry got cheated on…by a man who really used the excuse of being a sex addict. He didn’t even wear shoes. That would blow my self-esteem to get cheated on by a chick who doesn’t wear shoes.

Anyway, VSBers, why do hot chicks get cheated on? Is it just men being men? And more importantly, what the f*ck is wrong with The-Dream. Did he just not care that he was going to get found out? Love King, by the way, sucked.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka VITAMIN P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Thursday Amusement: If You Don’t Know Me By Now.

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We’re doing Thursday Amusement because Friday Fun is going to be insane tomorrow.  Kno’ dat.  I’ve been sitting on this idea for a good two weeks now.  The people will speak tomorrow!

There’s no reason for you to know this about me but I’m a huge University of Michigan fan. I remember getting shots at the Uof M hospital and they used to give me Snoopy band-aids afterwards.  I always wanted to go there for school and seriously contemplated going their for undergrad and later on down the line grad school.  I never made it to Michigan (not that I have any regrets, I am a very smart brotha after all, my alma mater will whip your alma mater’s a** 8 days a week, pal) but that doesn’t change the fact that…

…I could NEVER date a woman who went to or loved The Ohio State University.  What kind of pretentious f*ck school actually calls itself “The” and capitalizes the sh*t?

I mean seriously.

I know its kind of stupid, but it is what it is.  That rivalry is well recognized in the sporting world by all parties involved and basically f*ck Ohio State.

(Just to prove how insane my allegiance is to UofM, I dated a chick from Howard once, and they’re like Morehouse’s b*tch rival or something…except they’re not because they’re, ya know, Howard and we’re like, Morehouse.  Howard’s still cool though; they got a real bangin’ clock tower and everything!)

I have a cousin who goes to Michigan State right now and I’m conflicted about her decisions and the possible choices she may make in life, by the way.  I’ve expressed this concern to her.

Anywho, that got me to thinking about some quirky deal breakers.  I remember when we had our little tete-a-tete about dealbreakers, everybody listed things that they just couldn’t deal with, but really, those were quite sensical.  Somehow, “sensical” isn’t showing up as a real word, despite “nonsensical” being a word.  I’m truly perplexed by this.

Here is a list of other things that I know off top that are slightly-left-of-center as dealbreakers:

-    If a chick told me Halle Berry wasn’t pretty, I’d have to let her go.  Why?  Because she’s clearly blind and my vision’s already bad enough.  We’d f*ck around and make a baby that’d need LASIK before it was actually birthed.  Dump.Ed.
-    If a chick didn’t like Hurly Burly Coming To America, well, Loc’em And Smoke’em.  As perfect as this movie is, any woman who didn’t like this movie clearly hates being Black.  And I can’t date clear women.  For one, I’d have to throw water on her just to see her on some Hollow Man ish.  And that just seems like too much work to do on the regular.  Plus, she’d mess up my couch.  It may be IKEA, but it wasn’t cheap.  AND I put it together myself.
-    I SERIOUSLY wouldn’t even consider dating a chick who threw a piss fit about going to McDonalds TGIFridays.  I love that place.  I’m not even sure why but I do.  It’s fine American dining at a reasonable price.  Plus it has the word Friday in its title and who doesn’t love Fridays?  I ask you, who?
-    No love for Donny Hathaway?  Well you might as well one hug yourself darlin’, because upon hearing that, you’re outta there like the Chicago Cubs.

These are definitely quirky deal breakers for me.  They may seem petty to some degree, however, I just can’t comprehend some things in life.  Forget politics, if you are on some Ohio State sh*t, you got to go.

So toss your dealbreakers people, we’ve been there and done that.  What are those things pacifically specific to you that may not make sense to anybody else that would cause you to have to chuck the knucklehead, even if you seen him yesterday and he was cool?  (Name that Artist/song/album?)

And be honest; if you couldn’t date a man who wore speedos socks or a woman who only wore chaps granny panties, its okay, we won’t judge.

(Actually I will promise I won’t.)

-VSB P aka TANGLE JIG P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. MACHOSANCHIL

PS Beyonce’s new single “If I Were A Boy” (tagged) is that hot fiyah – Dylan style!  I love that doggone song.  It’s great.  I don’t like “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)” as much, but hey, to each his own. And coincidentally, Christina Milian’s new song “Us Against The World” is that dopeness too.  No, for real!  I love pop music and pop music never had it so good.  “Together Forever” anyone?  You should check these songs out if you get the opportunity!  Eff it, I’m including the download links.  Don’t say I never gave you anything.