Represent, Represent: Carol’s Daughter

This is NOT our best picture day.

When Champ sent me the link to Clutch Magazine’s article entitled Carol’s Daughter Inks Major Promo Deal with Cassie, Solange Knowles and Selita Ebanks, I actually laughed for a solid five minutes. Not at the article, but I began predicting the responses that would most certainly exist in the comments section.

But let’s start at the top with this. I don’t know much about Carol’s Daughter products. There’s a store here in Washington, DC (well Arlington, VA) , in Pentagon City Mall that seems earth-toned out and I’m pretty sure people that work there are required to wear linen. A lot of linen. What else do I know? I know Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, and Jay-Z (and Beyoncé too?) are either co-owners or bought into the company. Kind of like they did with the Fela Kuti Broadway show in NYC. I know that many Black women love Carol’s Daughter products because they are apparently making products for us (with us being women…of which I’m not one, but you get my point. Pencil).

Now here’s my perception of Carol’s Daughter. I view it as a company that intended to cater to the Black women as a whole, and one that our sisters could support, laud and appreciate. Basically, I view(ed) it as a company that would be more likely to create products that support the whole Black woman experience, from natural to permed to whatever else Black women do with their hair. This is my perception.

Which is why I laughed so hard when I saw Cassie (looking like she ate something REALLY sour before this photoshoot), Solange looking her worst almost ever, and Selita Ebanks aka The Bird Arse Bird from the Runaway short film. The one company that you would think would buck the trend of doing what everybody expects (hiring light skint ninjas for their promo materials for a company that’s focus is African-Americans) is just like everybody else (read: white companies). Which is sad in a way, and kind of humorous in the sense that, wow, even when we run the show, we STILL do what white people do.

I remember a long time ago I wrote a post about the show Kevin Hill (starring everybody’s favorite Taye Diggs…too lazy to find it now liz linked it here for me) and the complaints that all of the women he dated on the show were lightskint. My argument then was that, well, at least they’re Black. We’ve got bigger fish to fry. Instead of complaining about which Black women didn’t get the call, we should be glad that any Black women are getting the call period to be on television in a positive role. But you know what? That was a white company controlling the factors of production and calling the shots. Their house, their rules.

Carol’s Daughter is a Black owned company (as far as I know) and could take the opportunity to hire some women who are more representative en masse of the Black women in our community. And that’s not to say they shouldn’t hire any light skinned women. That would be just as idiotic as the current campaign, but there are definitely women of a darker hue in a somewhat public limelight who I’m sure would be interested in representing and/using the product line. Now it’s possible they reached out to a lot of women who turned them down. Let’s be real, Cassie, Solange, and Selita Ebanks aren’t exactly the A-list of Black community women. If it wasn’t for this article, I would have forgotten that all three of them existed seeing as I rarely visit any gossip sites and haven’t watched Runaway since it debuted. So maybe they reached out to Kelly Rowland (not likely if Beyonce is involved) or Gabrielle Union (not likely since she works for Cover Girl or something) or pick your brownskinned beauty. Maybe they got shot down.

Maybe their budget was too small to get a bigger name. I don’t know. But I do find it odd.

Now, of course, Black women in the few comments I did read went off and swore off the products, etc. Which is a bit premature if you ask me. Who knows what the future holds for the company and its ad campaigns. Also admittedly, I didn’t really read the comments, moreso skimmed, but the truth is, if we were to stop supporting companies that didn’t represent us fully in their ad campaigns, we’d be naked and eating juices and berries. Hell, some companies go so far as to make mockeries of us “cough*McDonalds*cough*. But we keep going there. So we’re going to stop supporting an actual Black owned company because of the choices another Black woman made?

Again, I had to step back and realize, their house, their rules. Could she have hired India.Arie? Yes. Did she? Nope. She still makes a product a lot of us can use and benefit from, right?

I don’t know that this will cause any real ripple effect or actual loss of support or sales. And really, I think it won’t. It’s pretty much a non-starter, but it does bring up a larger point about Black social responsibility.

If you have the ability to control the images put out of Black people, do you have a responsibility to the community to make it as fully reflective of the entire community as possible? What is the Black responsibility? Does it even exist? Does Lisa Price owe it to Black women to have a fuller representation of her products consumers in her ad campaigns?

Talk to me.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka PLYMOUTH RICO aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

It’s Just Me And Your Umbrella of Love.

nsfw_brown

Last week (and apparently entering into this week) was a good time for mankind.

Cassie has flown like an eagle, Rihanna’s come out of rehab, and now Hoopz is playing with balls and letting the world watch the game.

Yay, Internets.

By the way, if you have no idea what I’m talking about then you must somehow avoid all internet contact at all times – amazing considering you’re reading this right now.

Those pics and now Hoopz video clip have seen more hits than Rihanna Tina Turner a punching bag.

(And no, I’m not providing links to any of those pictures or video. This site is PG. Google is your friend.)

Now as a red-blooded male, I’m more than appreciative of full on female nudity in any form. I mean, the whole point of male existence – in a nutshell – is to procure female nudity. It’s necessary for the survival of the species. It’s even better when its women whose buckeynekkidness you’ve actually pondered. And who hasn’t wanted to get under Rihanna’s umbrella –ella-ella aye aye aye.

Man that is one outdated joke. Aye carumba.

Well the leaking of said nudey pics and the apparent broken dam of celebt*tty pictures that are more than likely to venture our way got me to thinking about something very pontificatious. You see, despite my love for the female form, there are actually women I have no desire to ever see in the buff.

Like ever.

Forever ever??

Forever ever.

And who might the mighty-ighty-ighty P not want to see au naturale??

Thought you’d never ask.

Beyonce – Sure she’s hot as South Hades, but truthfully, she’s not even all that sexxy to me, unless she’s soaking wet. I’ve long contended that wet women look way better than dry women (and take that as you want – heh heh heh). And God forbid a chex tap were to surface. You know what that would mean, right? It would be her and JayZ. I don’t ever want to see Bey and Jay bumpin’ literal uglies. Plus, what do you think: just how boring would that tape be anyway? She seems like a robot and he’s just getting more obnoxiously detached. It could be the actual definition video of “watching paint dry.”

Kelis – I know she has a tape out there (poor Nas – first Carmen, now Kelis) floating and what not but I’ve just never found her to be attractive. At all. She also seems to have that Mariah problem where she has to stand certain ways in videos to craft the illusion of derrierosity. Put it this way, if she’s got milkshakes, I’ll just take a Sprite.

Lil Kim – I’m almost afraid to see this. In fact, I’ll assume Lil Kim is to me what Michael Jackson is to most women – ^%$%&^#^*#(*&*)$#$. Yeah, whatever that means to you, that’s what Lil Kim is to me. Yech.

Wendy Williams/Wanda Sykes/Star Jones – They’re pretty much the same behemoth unattractive wildebeast to me and at the zoo you can’t touch the animals. You’re also not supposed to take pictures of certain animals as it may excite and agitate them. That’s how I view them – the kind of animals you just shouldn’t take certain pictures of.

Oprah Winfrey – Steadman doesn’t even want to see her nude so you KNOW Panama doesn’t.

Whoopi Goldberg – I’m just not into eyebrowless pr0n, ya know?

I know I’m gonna catch flak for this but…

Michelle Obama – I don’t care what you say, she’s not hot. Nice rump, but I have NO desire to ever see her Presidential tail. Plus, it might singlehandedly set back Black people 2000 years. Hell, it too 2009 years post Hayseuss to see a Black man get inaugurated, the LAST thing we’d need is a scandal showing Michelle Obama in dirty pics with the pool boy because Obama was on TV making ANOTHER damn speech. That’s my new campaign: Keep The Presidential Knockers Under Wraps.

That’s a mere smattering of women I’d never want to see in the buff – ever. Good people of VSB, who would you (male or female) never want to see a la mode??

-VSB P aka TANGLE JIG P aka THE ARSONIST aka YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD 3

Link of the Week: Relationship Radar.

So the discussion about women having a thug phase got me to thinking about the fact that people tend to have types.

Correction.  We have what we think are our types and the folks that we actually end up with.  I’ve come to the conclusion that normally the folks that we think we want and who we tend to end up don’t generally coincide.  Like I said, for a time Esther Baxter look-a-likes were my type, but I can honestly say that I’ve yet to date a woman like Esther Baxter.

For shame.

Somebody hand me a shoulder to cry on.

*Liz handing me a shoulder*

Thanks.

Anyway, a while back somebody pointed me to this email with this “article” about relationship radars.  Actually its more a question and advice column :

Q: I’m very concerned about my daughter. She is very strong and successful in many areas of her life except one. She keeps picking guys that are just no good for her. She even knows she does it and just can’t seem to stop. I even took her to see the musical “Why Good Girls Like Bad Boys.” She thought it was funny, saw herself in it, and still can’t seem to change. Is she the only one like this? How can she stop what she is doing to herself?

I see lots and lots of women and men with this kind of pattern

There’s even a name for it, and

Think back to the last time you watched The Weather Channel or the local weather on the news. Remember how the radar was able to pick up the storms and lock onto them? Well, each of us has an internal radar that picks up and locks in on certain kinds of people.

I call this process our “relationship radar.” If we are lucky, and/or if we have worked at it, our radar picks out people who are potentially good for us, and things work out.

Unfortunately some folks have faulty relationship radar that predictably chooses people who will eventually cause them pain. Here’s what I mean: if your daughter were to go to a party with 100 guys and there were two of them that were her “type”, her faulty relationship radar would pick them out in about five minutes tops. She would even find the other good guys “boring” or just “too nice.”

How many of us know men and women who constantly pick the wrong types?  Hell, how many of you are dating the very person you hoped you’d never date?  Actually, many of us on here seem very self-aware and prone to not dealing with non-sense.

Good d*mn job.

Anyway, the concept of the relationship radar got me to thinking about my own.  I definitely  have had a type.  If there was a crazy broad within 3 feet of me, I was attracted to her (assuming she was attractive, ugly attracted broads don’t really do it for me).

And when I say crazy, I mean the chick who swears she won’t get into Heaven without me by her side, which, if you think about it, would further her crazy since we all know I’ve got enough Hell points to ensure that I get to ride a G5 to Hell.

Crazy chicks of all type were running amok in Panama’s City.  Word.Life.

At some point I seriously had to re-evaluate what the hell I was doing to attract the looney bin b*tches.  I never did figure it out but I did turn up my own insanity that way my uberloon would repel the mediocre crazy broads and keep the chicks who wanted adventure around.  I think it suited me well.

Besides I’m Surfboard P, there’s no room in m life for a chick who plays with fire.  Literally (I dated one of those too).

So folks, what keeps popping up on your relationship radar – basically, is your sh*t broke?  And if it isn’t a good thing what have you done to change that?  Even better, does anybody have a radar that only finds GOOD QUALITY? Or are radars generally reserved for the worst case scenarios?

Inquiring minds would like to know.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST

And by the way, I went back and revisited my Teena Marie collection.  I won’t say she sucks (I apologize) but she does not sing better than Beyonce.  And a hit song (on in her case songs) does not a good singer make.  Word to Cassie.  She’s white, her ability to do runs is limited.  Some folks don’t care for all the histrionics and stuff and that’s fair…however, raw ability, Beyonce is blowing her the.f*ck.out.  It was written and I have spoken.