Seriously, in the three years that VSB has been around, I can honestly say that I’ve never seen a non-”important news” related meme catch fire and spread on the internet the way it did. Between Twitter, Facebook, news articles, blogs, and a particularly inspired (and particularly humorous) bout of scientific ownage, Kanazawa’s “study” was discussed, critiqued, examined, and denounced from every conceivable angle as we — content producers — practically tripped over ourselves in a mad dash to somehow get invited to this orgy of easy outrage and (easier) page views.
Although the tone of the preceding paragraph may have implied that I was disappointed with all the attention this story received, I actually was pleasantly surprised by the power and reach of our collective voice. I’m sure Kanazawa himself was surprised as well (although I’m assuming his surprise wasn’t as pleasant) when seeing that the reaction to his article might cost him his job at the London School of Economics — a direct effect of a few grassroots efforts to mobilize and protest.
While getting a quack scientist fired isn’t really that big of a deal, the insanely quick turnaround proves that we can get sh*t done if we put our creative resources together.
You know what would be even more impressive?
Find out exactly how this…
African-American women consistently rate themselves (collectively and individually) more attractive than any other culture of women on the planet. Every objective measure of self-image in comparison to non-black women reflects this.
…and this…
African-American women spend more per person on hair and beauty products — products where the main purpose of many of them is to make black women look “less black”¹ — than any other culture of women on the planet.
…can both be true.
¹”Less black” may have been a poor choice of words. Still, without turning it into a semantics argument, I think the point I’m trying to convey is pretty apparent.
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Boy, Black women are having the worst.two.years.ever.
They’re all single, married to gay men, on the way to a cat-ful existence and That’s My Mama re-runs, can’t handle the truth, and can’t find bras that fit. It’s hard out here for a pimp, but that’s nothing compared to how hard it is for a Black woman.
Between all of the media attention the potential dusty drawerd cat ladies are getting via national outlets, the ascension of Madea, and blatant disrespect for tinted ovaries here at VSB, it just seems like Black woman cannot win. Nope, there is no Amber Rose’n going on anywhere but at the White House. Ironic, isn’t it.
Well just in case you lovely ladies of the diaspora weren’t feeling poo-poo’d on enough, Psychology Today released an article yesterday written by a Satoshi Kanazawa entitled, Why Are Black Women Less Physically Attractive Than Other Women. Which is actually an interesting and poignant observation. Because, speaking for myself, personally, I was just telling somebody yesterday that when I compare all of the woman I’ve see and their physical attractiveness, Black women with their supple bodies, curves so sinister that geometry gets jealous, beautiful faces and lovely locs are definitely the LAST place I’m looking when I’m thinking of banging women. So this article is right on time.
Sadatay.
I’ve always found studies like this intriguing. For one, it’s supposed to be scientifically objective, but you’re asking PEOPLE to rate people. People suck. I have no idea how many people they used, but what if the morning before I got interviewed I got robbed by a gang of midget Asian little boygirls. Chances are that might affect my position. Or what about the actual panel of people doing the ratings? What if it looks like the people who vote for the GRAMMYs, and they were all forced to listen to Fantasia albums beforehand. They might be inclined to view Black women negatively. And the thing is, I have no idea, and this isn’t to say that Black women have to be considered the MOST physically attractive but somehow they’re the only ones who the respondents considered close to average compared to respondents and definitely LESS physically attractive than the rest. Da hell? Sounds like some bias is going on there. Basically, they hate Beyonce and are voting with their feet, so to speak.
Recall that women on average are more physically attractive than men. So women of all races are on average more physically attractive than the “average” Add Health respondent, except for black women. As the following graph shows, black women are statistically no different from the “average” Add Health respondent, and far less attractive than white, Asian, and Native American women.
This sex difference in the race differences in physical attractiveness – where physical attractiveness varies significantly by race among women, but not among men – is replicated at each Add Health wave (except that the race differences among men are statistically significant, albeit substantively very small, in Wave III). In each wave, black women are significantly less physically attractive than women of other races.
The only thing I can think of that might potentially explain the lower average level of physical attractiveness among black women is testosterone. Africans on average have higher levels of testosterone than other races, and testosterone, being an androgen (male hormone), affects the physical attractiveness of men and women differently. Men with higher levels of testosterone have more masculine features and are therefore more physically attractive. In contrast, women with higher levels of testosterone also have more masculine features and are therefore less physically attractive. The race differences in the level of testosterone can therefore potentially explain why black women are less physically attractive than women of other races, while (net of intelligence) black men are more physically attractive than men of other races.
Color me cynical here, but I’m going to assume that this panel is mostly filled with white people. I have nothing to base this upon, but let’s just assume that the panel is fairly representative of the population of the American people. Outside of urban areas, I really do think that white people have a fairly limited ability to deal with Black folks. Sure there are some of us everywhere, but chances are that the most interaction most of them have with Black Americans and women is the media….where some of our most attractive of attractive are. So how would that even make any sense? If you’re entire view of Black beauty is Beyonce, Halle Berry, and Michelle Obama (jury’s out) then chances are you’re full of sh*t and hating if somehow Black women’s attractiveness is only on par with yours and far less than that of other races. I may be reaching there, but it just sounds a bit like hateration. Which means that we can only blame the results of this study on one thing…
…President Obama.
Nevermind that this study has been done over a time period before he was President. Back in 2004 people started talking about him for the White House. So yes, a bunch of respondents who hate Obama voted Black women into the least attractive woman category, which is just patently not true. I’m trying my damndest not to offend anybody here so I won’t, but let’s just say…ain’t nobody messing with a Black woman’s dougie. Even exe’s I hate now I have to give props to.
My favorite part of the article is this though:
It is very interesting to note that, even though black women are objectively less physically attractive than other women, black women (and men) subjectively consider themselves to be far more physically attractive than others.
What I loved about this is that no matter what, you are not going to break a Black person’s self-confidence when it comes to comparisons with others. We know that we’re styling on folks. Hell, have you ever met a Black woman who didn’t think she looked good? Or a dude who didn’t think that he was the best thing since sliced bread. I just looked at my license in my wallet. Do you know what it says?
Bad Motherf*cker. My mirror hates on me because it ain’t the real deal.
We love us some us. And apparently enough of us participated in this study (hell, let’s not front, if it was just three we would have submitted 100 votes on that, “we banging” tip) to ensure that we been hitting our daddy stroke like none other.
Got to take an odd look here though. How is it that enough Black folks thought that we personally looked better, but when asked about others, Black women rated below. Self hate going on? I’m curious as to how that little calculus works. Crabs in a barrel? Something ain’t right there. We might hate on each other publicly, but we ain’t about to sell out other folks anonymously, that doesn’t benefit us. I’m calling foul on those grounds alone.
Anyway, point blank, this science is fugazi. Perhaps some people feel this way but at the end of the day, my beautiful Black sisters, don’t sweat the small stuff because this has no bearing on reality. I mean, if you ain’t betta than Big, you the closest one. I’ll personally do my part to tell you that you’re all beautiful though not face to face…I can’t tell a chick who looks like the combo of who shot John and John Henry’s left thigh she’s beautiful and I won’t. But you’re my soul sistas. And you know you look good. And so does everybody else.
Don’t let one article f*ck up your day, and if you need somebody to validate your beauty, we’ll be accepting all forms of pictures of your bangingness at the VSB email account all day.
What y’all did at the bayou? did you think of this article?
And my people…can you feel it?
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka MR. I LOVE WHITE WOMEN WITH SMALL BOOTIES SO MOST OF ‘EM aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
We’d like to thank all of you for coming through and nominating us for FOUR (fo’) Black Weblog Awards. We’re on the final ballot for Best Humor Blog, Best Writing in a Blog, Best Sex & Relationships Blog and Blog of the Year. Please go vote for us here.
It is the season of champions. What do UConn men’s basketball, LeBron James and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are all winning. Do you know who else is winning? White women. More specifically, when it comes to playing for the ultimate title of Wife, white women are the All-Star MVPs
This paragraph is from “Why White Women Are Winning” — an article published by UPTOWN Magazine last week that gives reasons why white women are, well, “winning” in the game of love while clearly implying that since white women are winning, black women are definitely losing.
As you probably guessed, this created quite a stir in the black blogosphere. In fact, if you google “white women winning,” the first results page will show five different responses to that article written in the past three days, including “Paper Thin: Why the white women are winning argument is a losing one” from the homie Sister Toldja.
Anyway, while the other responses are a bit more reactive and defensive, I thought I’d go a different direction and list ways that black women are in fact winning.
Here’s 10 of them.
1. They’re usually not the protagonists in super shitty romantic comedies
While some might interpret this as proof that black women aren’t as desirable as the Katherine Heigls and Jennifer Anistons of the world, I tend to look at it a different way. You see, because most romantic comedies revolve around thimble-headed white women making thimble-headed white woman decisions, people who’ve seen enough of these movies can’t help but begin to think that, well, all white women must be thimble-headed. This thimble-headed/silly bitch stigma largely escapes black women, a fact which definitely helps them get high scores while playing Words With Friends.
2. Their “window of bangingness” is much, much longer than all other women’s.
Between the fine wines – women who seem to get better looking as they get older (think Halle Berry), the steadies — women who seem to look exactly the same as they did when they were 25 (think Stacey Dash), the seasoning salts — super fine 20 year olds who are now super fine 40 year olds (think Nia Long), the martians — women whose combination of age, fineness, and proportions defy the laws of the universe (think Kenya Moore), the shirleys – legitimately old women who still look like they’ll wear your ass out (think Jenifer Lewis), and the loomers — women who decided to wait until they were 43 to become dimes (think Regina King), it’s not a game with black women’s “aging well” game.
3. Their relationships with their girlfriends are better than any relationship you’ve ever had with anyone.
While the dynamics of the black female/black female close friendship aren’t always perfect or even understandable (still not clear why many women choose to include women that they clearly abhor in their inner circles. Seriously, I think we’ll learn who else shot Kennedy before we get a good answer to that), the otherworldly connections they seem to have is laudable, commendable, and, to be honest, even enviable.
(If I was an asshole I would have said “They’re laudable, commendable, and enviable..at least until you introduce an appealing man to the equation. Then, all bets and bras are off.” But, since I’m not an asshole, I didn’t say that.)
4. Their hair gives them an easy excuse to not do, well, anything they don’t want to do.
Even if it’s complete bullsh*t, the reverence and respect others have for black women’s hair allows them to use this reverence and respect as a means to cop out of any undesirable task.
Don’t feel like giving head tonight? Just say that the neck motion will make you sweat, and you don’t want to go to work with your hair looking like you were just adopted by a white celebrity.
Don’t feel like staying at work today? Just tell your boss some bullsh*t about how you “need to leave before your ends explode.” Even though he’ll have absolutely no idea what the hell you’re talking about, he’ll let you bounce because he doesn’t want to risk having to go to sensitivity training again.
Don’t feel like staying faithful to your man? Well, every time you visit your secret lover, just tell your man that you’re going to the hairdresser. That’ll give you a 12 hour window to basically do whatever the hell you want, especially since most men prefer not to know why the hell it takes women an entire Wendy’s work shift to get their hair done.
While we’re still on hair, we can’t forget the fact that…
5. They can change their entire identity with one trip to the hairdresser.
While identity changes happen when non-black women switch up their hairstyles, these changes tend to be more superficial. I mean, so you went from blond to brunette and people take you more seriously. Whoopdy f*cking do. That still won’t get you into Heaven. But a black woman can alter everything from the type of music people assume she listens to the types of men who’ll approach her (and what they say when they approach) just from going from perm to natural.
6. Everyone assumes they’re automatically great cooks, great dancers, competent singers, soulful, community-minded, full of wisdom, unflappable, and sincere.
In fact, the only thing black women ever have to “prove” is whether or not she’s angry, able to find a man, able to keep a man, able to think like a man and act like a lady, and able to find the one eligible, attractive, and available man in the sea of HIV-infected, middle school dropout, homosexual atheist rapist goons she has to choose from.
7. They’re given carte blanche to beat their kids in public.
If little “Johnny Whitemommy” took out his d*ck and started peeing on the mannequins in J Crew, the most he’d probably receive from his mom would be a slight scold and a half-assed teachable lesson. (“Remember Johnny, if you pee in public, at least try to pee in the mannequin’s pocket next time so it doesn’t spill everywhere”)
Why? Well, as soon as the first drop of Johnny’s urine hit the ground, the PC police would have been poised and ready to attack; thumbs ready to call CYS on speed dial while they’re paying close attention to how Johnny’s mom reacts.
On the other hand, black women have no such worry, and in a similar situation, they’d be free to drop kick and punt little Jaheim as far as they’d please.
8. Other races of men write songs specifically about them.
From the Rolling Stones’ “Brown Sugar” to Fleetwood Mac/Santana’s “Black Magic Woman,” history is filled with examples of non-black artists writing songs directly inspired by black women. Whether this is fetishization or homage (or somewhere in between) is debatable, but the fact that both of these songs are about 150,000 times cooler than Mighty Casey’s “White Girls” isn’t.
9. They have magical vaginas.
What exactly makes their vaginas magic? Well, that’s the only way to explain how the same woman can produce one kid who looks like Blake Griffin and another who looks like Eddie Griffin.
10. They’re not black men.
Which means that they’re approximately 1752% more likely to stay alive long enough to read this entire list.
Anyway, I’m sure I forgot a few. Can you think of any other ways that sistas stay winning?
The carpet is yours.
—The Champ
***Just in case you missed it, here’s a video recap of “Three Deez” our book signing/anniversary party in D.C. Shout-out to Tim at Jamos Studios for the production***
“I’m still not sure exactly how attractive Wendy Raquel Robinson is. I thought she was kind of hot on The Steve Harvey show, but I’ll concede that the light reflecting off of Steve Harvey’s suits could have been playing tricks on my eyes.”
I made this statement in Wednesday’s A Minute-By-Minute Recap of The Season Premiere of BET’s “The Game”; a bit of a throwaway joke that led to approximately 123,421 comments about Robinson’s impressive physique and an entire comment thread listing several other 40+ black women who still, to quote my favorite Jewish-Canadian rapper, “Shut it Down“
After reading through that thread—and after offering my own two cents in the form of an inspired (and far-fetched) black MILF/NBA point guard analogy—I thought “Why not devote an entire entry to the black don’t crack club?”—middle aged black women who don’t just “look good for their age” but still wield sex symbol status.
Good idea, Champ!! The only problem was narrowing it down to 5.
1. Stacey Dash
Ok. Do you want me to give you a lazy Friday joke “Stacey Dash” bullet, or a NC-17 (and TMI) “Stacey Dash” bullet?
You know what? It’s Friday and I’m feeling a bit altruistic, so I’ll give you both.
(Lazy Friday joke bullet)
—Stacey Dash is better at “looking good” than Sarah Palin is at “saying stupid things and raising idiot children”
(NC-17 and TMI bullet)
—The only non-pornographic video housed in my laptop porn folder—aptly (and descriptively) titled “Masturbation Videos”—is a 10 second MPEG of Stacey Dash running through the airport (and jigging in roughly 92 different places) in Kanye’s “All Falls Down” video. As of the writing of this sentence, it’s also tied with a particularly intense Michelle Tucker scene as the 3rd most watched video—a fact that is probably going to change as soon as I finish writing this entry.
2. Halle Berry
—Makes the cut despite the fact that I know that having “Halle Berry” on a black man’s list of great looking women is about as cliché and predictable as….wait for it…the season premiere of “The Game”
3. Nia Long
—I can imagine that two things are going through most people’s heads right now
1. You’re damn right she belongs in this club. There’s a reason “Nia Long in a cherry thong” is once of the five best lines in rap history. She’s so fine I’d drink her daddy’s bathwater.
2. Wait…NIA LONG IS 40????
(Yup. Here’s another shocker: Boyz n the Hood was made 20 YEARS AGO!!!! 20!!!! To put that in perspective, think about this. The distance between now and when Boyz n the Hood was released is the same as the distance between when Boyz n the Hood was released and the third year of Nixon’s presidency. If that doesn’t make you feel old as f*ck, I don’t know what will)
Speaking of Boyz n the Hood…
4. Angela Bassett
—Unlike Stacey Dash and Nia Long—women who look basically the exact same now as they did in their twenties—Angela Bassett is actually much better looking now than she was 20 years ago. I don’t know how she does it, but I do know that Courtney B. Vance better watch his f*cking back before he ends up Courtney B. Cuckolded.
5. Beverly Johnson
—The name “Anansa Johnson” may not mean much to you, but many 28 to 32 year old black men are extremely acquainted with her…even if they don’t realize it. You see, Anansa was the star of Source Magazine’s first swimsuit issue, and her picture adorned the bedroom and dormitory walls of at least 35% of the college aged black men in the county at that time, myself included. (Btw, I scoured Google for 30 minutes last night looking for that pic, to no avail. If someone is able to find it for me, it’ll be worth at least a free bottle of Malibu at the VSB BBQ)
This—her picture was on my bedroom wall—proved to be pretty awkward when the stars aligned in a way that ended up placing her—not her picture, but her— in my actual bedroom in the fall of 1998. (Full Story: She actually attended a nearby college, and came to my school’s Midnight Madness. After Midnight Madness, her girls and a few of my teammates came back to my townhouse for a couple hours and chilled. Towards the end of the night, one of my teammates told her she was on my wall. She didn’t believe him, so she went back to my room to confirm it. If you want to hear the rest of the story, email me here.)
Anyway, at that time Anansa was one of the two or three best-looking women I’d ever seen in person. But, since her mom was Beverly Johnson, she wasn’t even the best looking woman in her own house.
Ok, VSB, you’ve read my choices. Can you think of anyone else who should bea member of the “Black Don’t Crack” club?
Oh, and since I’m in a bone throwing mood, if the ladies (and fellas, if so moved) can think of any 40+ black men who qualify, feel free to name them as well.
apparently, something called a “slim thug” recently blogged at vibe magazine about the current black dating and relationship dynamic. although his blog touched on everything from “reasons why some people shouldn’t use equations” to the benefits of bagging and boning ivy-educated mulattoes, the prevailing theme in his piece was that (most) black women are perpetually disencouraging chickenhawks who need to be a bit more becky.
before i continue, i will concede that a rapper, athlete, or entertainer might encounter a different type of woman than the “average” black man. if you (willingly) move in circles were a woman’s interest and eventual wetness is usually directly correlated to the size of your rims, you’re probably more likely to encounter, well, women whose interest and eventual wetness is directly correlated to the size of your rims. since he’s (probably) put himself in situations where contact with “regular” sistas is limited, his limited perspective about black women is understandable. dangerous and stupid as f*ck, but understandable.
but while this peculiar “slim thug” entity lives in an alternate universe filled with strange and deadly beasts called cubanalusts and katstackses and evelynlozadas, he brings up a meme that’s been expressed many times on regular ‘ole planet earth: black women don’t support black men. and, as a man who’s befriended, wooed, pursued, dated, and belonged to black women my entire life, i can say with no hesitation that this popular claim is 100% wrong.
maybe i’ve just been lucky. maybe my personal remembrances, anecdotes, and experiences with sistas are uncommon, but every. single. one. of the black woman i know are extremely willing to offer more support than one of aretha’s bras. seriously, i literally can’t name one black woman i’ve ever personally known who wasn’t supportive of positive and even semi-positive brothas. even the ones i know who are married to or exclusively date white men still support and encourage us. sh*t, there are probably some sistas reading this right now champing at the bit, waiting for any brotha to do something so she can throw some random encouragement his way.
if anything, you can make the case that (generally speaking) black women are TOO supporting, too willing to sacrifice themselves and their well-being for the betterment of black men and the black community, but thats a topic for another day.
anyway, this subject made me think of some other stupid stereotypes about black women, and here’s three more.
black women love thugs
no. silly women love thugs. big difference.
(educated) black women hate giving head…and are terrible at it when they do
since i’m trying to keep things pg-16 here, i’ll just say that the common perception of the prudish professional black woman is completely false. while sisters might be a bit more, ummmm, discerning about who and when they decide to fellate, they love to lewinsky their mates just as much as the next becky.
and, as far as this hold white women have on the mythical “best head in show” title, my only sexual experience with a white woman (i was in college. don’t judge me) contained 150 seconds of quite possibly the most excruciating head that’s ever existed. seriously, she tugged and twisted on me like i was a wet dishrag she was trying to dry. at one point i even looked down at my wang and mouthed “i’m sorry, man” like i was watching through a fiberglass door as it was being tortured by sayid from lost.
i know this is completely anecdotal, but if this incident is any evidence of why white women keep the “1st place, head category” trophy on their mantles, i’ll stick with my honorable mention sistas.
to expound, it’s america, man…nobody takes care of their bodies here. have you seen ourselves? sh*t, as i’m typing this in the coffee shop down the street from my apartment, i’m watching a man eat two cups of cream cheese…by itself.
***pausing to allow you to re-read what i just typed, and re-typing the previous sentence just in case you didn’t read it the first time***
sh*t, as i’m typing this in the coffee shop down the street from my apartment, i’m watching a (white) man eat two cups of cream cheese…by itself. he’s scooping that sh*t up with his thumb and eating it like it’s f*cking peanut butter. it’s easily the most disgusting thing i’ve seen since last sunday. in fact, the fact that he’s using his thumb instead of his index finger makes it even more disgusting. my point? we’re a nation full of fleshly-ass nightfeeding motherf*ckers. but, for whatever reason, black women seem to catch the most “ya’ll need to take better care of yourselves” flack, and that sh*t needs to stop
anyway, people of vsb.com, can you think of any other stupid stereotypes about black women (and black men, if you desire)? also, can anybody refute my claim about the fact that “the unsupportive sista” doesnt actually exist? if a slim thug wrote a blog about black women in the woods, would suzie ketcham buy a round?
